Guilty as Sin

CHAPTER 49

“So when were you here?” Harry inquired as the pair of them walked along the side of the waterfall that ran soothingly down the center of the small hedge maze they had been working their way through all morning.

“Can’t remember really but I was only about seven or eight, it was before the Ministry confiscated all Snape’s assets when they found out he was a death eater.” Harry noted easily that Draco was tiring after a full morning of exploring and so picked a grassy patch beside the water and sat down, pulling Draco down with him. The blonde winced as he sat holding his stomach painfully as he breathed out calmly in an effort to abate the pain. Harry sympathetically placed his hand on Draco’s knee as the boy sighed heavily and looked away from Harry’s baby bump that was still sticking out from beneath his missfitting t-shirt.

“Do you think we’ll stay here long?” Harry inquired as he lay down on his back and gently rested his hands over his stomach, rubbing it gently.

“Undoubtedly as long as possible if not indefinitely. This place is untouchable by Voldemort or the Ministry, the wards are as old as the Snape family themselves. I think Snape might have brought us here sooner if he could have done; it’s the safest place for us, for you.” Draco trailed off as his gaze flickered over Harry’s hand on his stomach, sadness washing into his gaze before the blonde looked away into the ripples of the water.

“I’m sorry Draco about what happened, I shouldn’t have left you alone.” Harry and Draco had not spoken of the incident at the Malfoy manor at all, having hardly time alone together in the last three days. Draco had not been in any condition to speak about what had happened and Harry didn’t want to push him, until now.

“No, it’s probably fate that you did or he might have done it to you too.” Draco whispered his voice wavering with emotion.

“I’m still sorry, maybe next year when we’re safe.” Harry smiled at Draco sadly who nodded in agreement before leaning over and pressing a chaste kiss on Harry’s lips. Draco pulled away slightly but hovered over Harry’s face the boy’s staring at one another in quiet reflection.

“We’ve never…” Draco trailed off cautiously glancing away from Harry as he thought about what he’d just been about to say. Harry frowned in confusion wondering what the blonde was on about.

”We’ve never what?” Harry inquired casually as he dropped his hand into the cool water and let the flow drag his hand back and forth beneath the surface.

“You know, we’ve never had sex.” Draco supplied his sky blue gaze flickering nervously from Harry to the water running beside them.

“Well no.” Harry whispered wondering where on earth Draco came up with the subject of their conversation. “It’s not as if we need to I mean Snape’s not withholding or anything, in fact he’s quite regular.” Harry blushed and shivered as he remembered the way Snape had taken him on their last night at Malfoy manor.

“Yeah he’s an attentive mate, just forget I said anything.” Draco brushed the subject off with a shrug of his shoulders as he turned over onto his back but Harry wasn’t going to be put off so easily, not now Draco had brought the strange subject up.

“Hang on a minute Draco, there must be something you were trying to get at or you wouldn’t have mentioned it, so spill.” Harry leant up on his elbow and stared down at Draco pointedly who sighed heavily.

“It’s nothing really, I was just making conversation.” Draco smiled up at Harry innocently but the other boy was not easily fooled. Raising a knowing eyebrow in Draco’s direction Harry waited patiently for the blonde to tell him the truth. Reluctantly Draco sighed again when he realized Harry wasn’t going to be moved off the topic. “Fine, it was just something I….” Draco trailed off as he sat up and began fidgeting with his shirtsleeves. “I have a confession.” Draco finally spoke again a pink tinge creeping up his neck to his cheeks. “The night Snape took me at the peak of my season, you were watching weren’t you?” Harry instantly sank in on himself having expected a confession from Draco, not his own confession. Harry looked away awkwardly from Draco who sighed and reached up to draw Harry’s attention back to him. “It’s okay I don’t mind you watching us, I’ve watched him take you enough times. In fact I kind of get off knowing someone’s watching, I like the idea of making a show of it.” Harry stared at Draco blankly who swallowed nervously and drew his hand away from Harry’s chin. “The first year I started Hogwart’s that summer Lucius had a party for his friends…” Harry didn’t need any explanation of what kind of friends Lucius had invited to his party, as Draco continued. “I was supposed to have been doing my summer reading in the library but when I heard them all laughing and joking I wanted to see what was going on. I snuck down the hall and watched through the crack of the doorframe. Snape was there with my father and their so-called friends, and there was this man, a stranger I’d never seen before. He was naked and he danced for them. I can remember watching him move, every pair of eyes on him in the room, including Snape. I can remember being jealous of him, of the attention he was getting. When he’d done dancing he sat on my father’s lap and they had sex, right there with every one watching, I knew a few of them were wanking but I can remember watching Snape. He never moved an inch, his brandy in his right hand and the other resting on the arm of the chair, his gaze calm and collected and locked on the naked man writhing in my fathers lap. There was no way Lucius was that good, but the stranger on his lap howled, panted and screamed like he was in nirvana. It wasn’t until the man looked over his shoulder at Snape that I realized it had been a show for Severus more than anyone else. That look in Snape’s eyes as the stranger had licked his lips and blown him a discreet kiss as he’d left. I would have given anything to have Snape look at me like that.”

“My god you liked Snape before all this.” Harry gawked as he watched Draco sigh and nod with reluctance.

“Yeah, before I knew what I was I wanted Snape so bad it was torture being in his presence. He was the only man I’d ever met that was attentive to me like my father was. When my parents went on holidays Snape babysat me, he looked after me and I was naturally attracted to him. Admittedly when I found out what I was, I kind of had bigger problems to worry about other than a silly crush so let it go but now that I’m actually with him some of those old feelings have lingered.” Harry frowned in confusion as he watched Draco stop twisting his hands together to look up at his friend cautiously. “I still want him to look at me like he did the dancer…” Draco whispered, causing Harry to cut him off sharply.

“Trust me he does, right before he comes he stares at you like you’re the only thing in the world even if he’s frustrated he still does it. I think it’s his wizarding side showing through his Elith-furatu side.” Harry added quickly watching as Draco smiled and nodded in understanding.

“Yeah he probably does but I want to see it for myself and I can’t when he’s got me up against a wall or I’m too fucked to notice.” Draco looked hopefully at Harry, who shrugged his shoulders unsure of what Draco was getting at.

“Then how do you expect to…” Draco cut Harry off this time wanting to get the topic out into the open as quickly as possible.

“I want us to have sex, and I want him to watch us. If I wank he’ll just get annoyed and come finish the job with me, then I won’t have achieved my goal. I need to know he loves me, like he loves you…” Harry snorted in amusement at Draco’s words and instantly stood up from the grass to walk stiffly over to the hedge. Draco got up too but far more slowly with his injuries.

“Love!” Harry laughed in disbelief, wondering where on earth Draco got his hair brain ideas. “You’ve got to be kidding me. There is no love in this relationship Draco, you said so yourself it’s instinctual, in our nature to mate with one another to continue our bloodlines. Is it love when he beats you within an inch of your life for challenging his authority? Is it love when he fucks you so hard you bleed for a week? Is it love when he slices you open like a slab of meat just so he can let out a little frustration and assert his power over us?” Harry was rapidly loosing his temper unsure of where all these emotions were coming from but knowing they’d been sparked by Draco’s thoughtless comments. “When ever did you get the idea into your head that Snape is doing this out of love?!” Harry screamed horrified at the thought that Draco had turned this entire relationship into something romantic, which was certainly wasn’t what it was.

“And when did you forget that Severus isn’t just an animalistic creature enslaved by his instincts, he’s still a wizard and a man too, just like us.” Draco bit out coldly as he glared at Harry across the short distance. “A man who when he entered that courtyard and saw what had happened, came to YOU first to see if YOU were alright, if YOU were injured and to ensure YOU were not dead.” Harry swallowed around the rising lump of hysterics in his throat as Draco turned his back on him. “Forget it Potter, it’s obvious you’re still deluding yourself into thinking this is all just a bad dream. Perhaps the old prejudices you had towards him and I are still there despite the so called change of life. Think what you like about us, about our kind you won’t listen to reason anyway.” With that Draco strode away a little slower and with less grace than the blonde probably would have liked due to his injuries. Harry got the message loud and clear though and with a snort of disgust at Draco’s back turned and walked the other way.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>