A Love So Belated
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
46,695
Reviews:
358
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
46,695
Reviews:
358
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 44: Always Been You
Chapter Number/Total: 44/44
Chapter Title: Always Been You
Words: 3312 Words
Draco was sitting propped up in the bed with a breakfast tray across his lap. He frowned at it, picking at the eggs with his fork.
After hours of not leaving the room, Harry finally had to get up to use the toilet. Draco's mother sat in her place beside his bed with hands folded in her lap, frowning at the way Draco was eating - or rather - not eating. She glanced at her hands and let out a small huff through her nose. "Draco," she said quietly.
Draco rolled his eyes and skewered a sausage, cutting into it with a fork before lifting the bite to his mouth. He forced himself to chew and swallow, hoping to stave off more nagging about his lack of appetite.
Narcissa sighed, shaking her head. She was silent for a moment before she said Draco's name again. "Draco, where are you going when they let you out? You know you've only got a little while left before they do." She spoke quickly, like she had been wanting to ask but had refrained.
Draco tensed. It would be easier in some ways to let his mother take him home, for her to pamper and keep him like a child. He wouldn't have to face his fears then. He shook his head. He might not be a hero, but he wasn't a coward either. "Home with Harry," he answered, taking another bite of the sausage.
Narcissa frowned again. "I think you should come home with me," she said. "Just for a while at least."
"Why?" Draco asked, nearly gagging on the sausage as he forced himself to swallow.
"Well," she said, still frowning. "I want to know you're all right. I want to be sure of it. And ... I don't feel comfortable having you there with him. I know how you feel about him, and he's ... I can see how he feels about you, but ...."
Draco set the fork down and pushed the tray away. He sighed, shaking his head. "Him? Harry saved my life, Mother," he said. "Three times now."
"You wouldn't have needed saving," she said quietly. "If it weren't for him. Not this time."
Draco thought about that. Actually, he had been thinking a lot about that. "They weren't just out to hurt him," Draco said. He didn't know if he should explain this to his mother. He knew that it would upset her.
"I am not stupid, Draco," Narcissa told him, looking up to meet his eyes. "I know much more about those people than you could possibly imagine. I know exactly what they were thinking and I know exactly what they would have done." She took a very deep breath. "Perhaps they would have gone after you without Harry as motivation as well, but it is much more likely that they would have left you alone."
"No, they wouldn't have," Draco said in a rough voice, his body tense as he remembered their taunts as they had cut him. "They wanted to hurt you and Father," he whispered.
Narcissa's hands in her lap clenched and her eyes were suddenly very shiny. "I'm sorry," she whispered after a very long moment, looking completely lost.
Draco immediately regretted telling her. "I'm sorry, Mother," he said, reaching a hand to her.
She closed her eyes, but they flew open a second later. "Stop it, Draco. Stop," she said, voice shaking. "Stop saying you're sorry. I can't stand it."
Draco's eyes widened and he drew back, heart pounding.
Narcissa covered her face, taking deep breaths from beneath her hands. "No," she said. "No, I'm not going to do this." She took yet another deep breath, letting it out slowly, but she didn't look like she knew what to do. "Do you want to go home with Harry?" she asked finally.
Draco took several breaths as well. He looked at his mother. He wanted to make her happy. He did. He tried to figure out a way to tell her how he felt, a way to make her understand. Finally he gave up and simply said, "I need him."
She placed her hands in her lap again. "Very well," she said quietly. "I'm going to go and see how much longer it will be before you can go." She stood, and at the same time, Harry reentered the room. He'd been waiting outside the open door and hadn't wanted to interrupt. He felt even worse.
"Mother," Draco said again, holding his hand out to her.
She looked at Draco and then took his hand in her own.
He kissed her hand and smiled at her. "Thank you," he said softly.
She nodded, managing a small not-quite-smile before leaving the room.
Harry stood near the door still, staring out the window. "You don't have to go with me for me," he said quietly.
Draco spent the next minute really looking at the man in front of him. He could see the stress in the way Harry held himself, the dark circles under his eyes and the worry in them. "I love you," was the only thing Draco could think to say at that moment and he did so without even realising it.
Harry swallowed, stepping closer and shaking slightly. "Still?" he whispered.
Draco blinked, surprised. "You doubt that?" he asked, voice carrying his shock.
"I didn't know how you would feel about me now," Harry answered. "Not after all of this was my fault. Even your mum -" He clenched his teeth and swallowed again against the lump in his throat.
"You heard?" Draco asked.
"I - the door was open," he said quietly.
"Then you heard what I said as well," Draco said. "I was telling the truth."
"Why?" Harry asked. "What do you need me for?"
Draco flushed, looking down. "I meant that it wasn't your fault. That even if we weren't together, my unc ... those two would have come after me."
Harry wasn't convinced, but only sighed. He knew it was his fault. "I love you, too," he said. "Still more than anything."
Draco looked up and held his hand out to Harry, urging him forward with it.
Harry stared at the outstretched hand for a moment, and then stepped forward to take it.
Draco's hand shook by the time his fingers clenched around Harry's. "Do you still ... want me ... to live with you?" he asked, not looking up, but focusing on their hands instead.
"Yes," Harry whispered. "If you still want to." He wouldn't blame Draco if he didn't.
"You just heard me tell my mother that I do," Draco answered, looking up again.
"Then come back with me," Harry said, feeling selfish but saying it anyway.
Draco flushed again. "I want to, I just don't know if I can ... be ... like I was ... before," he managed to say.
"I only want you," Harry whispered.
"You can have ... what's left of me, anyway," Draco said.
Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head back, just standing there still holding Draco's hand. "I want any part of you I can have," he said.
Draco trembled as he tugged on Harry's hand, pulling him closer.
Harry opened his eyes and moved forward again, going down beside the bed.
"Kiss me?" Draco asked, a bit breathlessly.
Harry looked at him for a few seconds before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Draco's.
Draco was still shaking as he kissed Harry, one hand holding the other man's and the other gripping the bed. Kissing Harry still felt like the most perfect thing in the world and he nearly wept in relief at that realisation.
Harry shook a little and then sighed, opening his mouth as he did.
Draco's tongue traced the edge of Harry's lips, feeling their warmth and softness. He was perversely grateful that the Lestrange brothers hadn't kissed him.
Harry sighed again, pressing the tip of his tongue to Draco's before sliding it into his mouth, his hand moving for that blond hair.
Draco lost himself in the kiss, in the taste and feeling of the man he loved. Eventually, he started to get aroused and his body tensed, his heart seeming to speed up too quickly.
Harry felt it, felt Draco freeze. He stilled himself, pulling back and breathing a little heavily.
"I still need you," Draco managed to gasp, even if his body seemed to betray that now.
"It's okay," Harry whispered, stroking Draco's hair back. "I'm here for whatever you need."
Draco nodded, squeezing his lover's hand. "Take me home?" he asked, nearly begging.
"Yes," Harry whispered.
***
When Harry and Draco walked back into number twelve, Harry closed the door softly behind them, and hung both their cloaks away. Draco had finally been allowed home, and Narcissa had gone home as well. Of course, she hadn't wanted to go without Draco, but Harry was the one with whom he had chosen to leave.
Harry looked at him now. "Do - do you want me to have Kreacher make some tea?" he asked quietly. "Or - you know, you could go get some sleep if you want. I can take you upstairs and then - well ...." He shrugged. "I'll just ... hang around or something."
Draco was pale and tired after making the trip from St Mungo's. "Yes, love," he said. "Tea and ... just hanging around ... would be lovely." Then he looked up the stairs and frowned.
Harry looked up the stairs and frowned too. "We don't have to go up there, I guess," he said. "If you don't want to."
"Maybe I could rest in the parlour," Draco said, smiling a bit sadly.
"Okay," Harry said, nodding. "That's fine." He hesitated before holding his hand out to lead Draco down the hall. He wasn't sure what was okay to do.
Draco took Harry's hand, as much for comfort as for the physical support. Once in the room, he let his lover help him to sit down on the couch, lowering himself gently. The wounds had all closed now but they were sore and his body still felt -- ragged.
Harry sat down next to Draco and then called Kreacher for tea. He made Draco's cup for him when the elf brought it.
"You going to hover?" Draco asked, smirking a bit to show he didn't mind.
Harry flushed. "Sorry, I just -" He shrugged, reaching to make his own cup.
Draco sipped his tea and watched Harry. "We're home, you can stop worrying so much."
Harry sighed, sitting back against the couch. He looked up at the ceiling. "Okay," he said in a whisper.
Draco did his best to relax into the couch too, sipping his tea and enjoying the quiet of their house. Their house. It was so noisy in the hospital. Here he could relax. The place was ugly but at least it was private.
Harry sat quietly - breathing quietly and sipping his tea quietly. He glanced at Draco, wanting to move in close to him, but he was unsure of whether Draco would want that or not.
Draco set his tea down beside him. He reached a hand out, lying it palm up between them on the sofa.
Harry smiled a little, wondering if Draco always knew what he was thinking. He took another sip of his tea before setting it aside as well, and then put his hand in Draco's, lacing their fingers.
Draco sighed happily, fingers squeezing Harry's. "Baby," he whispered.
Warmth spread through Harry, seeming to pool in his gut and his heart. He looked at Draco, raising an eyebrow in question.
Draco tugged gently on his lover's hand. "Come here," he whispered.
Harry scooted closer, until their sides were touching, his face still turned toward Draco.
Draco smiled softly, his eyes full of the love he felt for Harry. "Yes," he whispered again.
Harry sighed, closing the few inches between Draco's mouth and his own. He kissed him gently, letting the warmth of Draco's breath and lips drain away some of the tension.
"Mmm," Draco hummed against his lover's lips, his other hand coming up to cup the back of Harry's head.
Harry sighed again, just barely brushing his tongue over Draco's bottom lip.
Draco gasped, opening his mouth to his lover's tongue. His fingers curled into Harry's hair and he shivered.
Harry moaned quietly, both hands coming up to cup Draco's face as they kissed, pulling him closer.
Draco loved the feel of Harry's breath on his face, his lips and tongue sliding against his own, and his hands pressed to his cheeks. He loved everything about him.
One of Harry's hands slid into Draco's hair, and he began pressing forward. He raised himself up on his knees, grasping the back of the couch near Draco's shoulder.
Draco opened his mouth to Harry but then began to tense as the man pressed against him. He shook as his body reacted - both with arousal and fear.
Not knowing anything was wrong, Harry continued forward, lowering Draco down against the arm of the sofa.
Draco's heart sped up and he pulled on Harry's hair. With Harry's mouth over his, he didn't know how to tell him what was wrong.
Feeling the urgent tugs, Harry pulled back, his eyes going wide. "I - oh, God, Draco, I'm sorry. I didn't - I didn't mean to, I -" He flushed, pulling back even further. "I'm sorry."
Draco was panting, trying to get control of himself as his body shuddered in remembered pain. "No," he managed but his heart clenched at the look on Harry's face.
Harry covered his eyes with his hand, taking his glasses off. He, too, tried to gain control of himself, ashamed of his arousal. He slumped over, not even wanting Draco to see it.
Draco sobbed, angry at himself for doing this to Harry. Angry at the men who did this to them both. "No," he whispered again, "I'm sorry."
Harry looked over at him, wincing at the tears. "Baby, don't," he said, making a strange jerky movement. He wanted to hold Draco, but was confused about it again.
"I ... I'm sorry, I just ...." Draco sobbed again, fingers clenched by his side. He wanted to reach for Harry but was afraid now.
Harry still didn't know what to do, and he was getting angry with himself because Draco was crying and spouting unnecessary apologies and he was just sitting there, watching him. He slid off the couch and onto his knees, crawling to Draco that way. At least he could be near him, and didn't have to touch him then. He didn't want Draco to be afraid of him and actually shook with the thought of it.
Draco couldn't stop the tears, shaking his head at seeing Harry on his knees. "I love you," he said. His hand shook but he managed to force himself to hold it out again, reaching to touch Harry.
Harry didn't quite know what to do with the touch, but he couldn't deny that it felt good. He wanted to kiss Draco's tears away, but didn't. He didn't even know if he should tell him that he wanted to. "Love you," he whispered instead.
"Please," Draco begged, fingers cupping Harry's chin. "I want ...."
Harry shook his head. "Draco," he said, "you're not comfortable with this, and I don't want you to feel like you have to do it for me. I'm fine."
"I want to .... " Draco whispered, shaking. "I just can't control ... how I react."
"I shouldn't have done that," Harry whispered. "I wasn't thinking, I -" He shook his head again.
Draco winced, the pain worse. He didn't want Harry apologising for desiring him. "No, please don't do that."
Harry sighed, closing his eyes and then bent to let his forehead rest against the couch.
Draco ran his long fingers through his lover's thick hair. He found it soothing.
It was very silent for a few minutes, and Harry didn't move from his place on the floor, didn't move at all until he lifted his head again. Somewhat hesitantly, he took Draco's hand from his hair and gently kissed it. "I love you more than anything," he whispered truthfully.
Draco smiled at his touch. "And I love you," he answered, fingers curling around Harry's.
Harry looked down at their clasped hands and noticed that there was something missing. Of course. He met Draco's eyes, his gaze serious as his heart sped up even with only the thought of asking Draco .... "Would you be with me forever?" he whispered after debating with himself for several moments.
Could Harry really doubt that? "You can't want to be with me ... not now," Draco answered.
Harry's expression was pained as those words left Draco's lips. "Please tell me you don't really think that," he insisted.
Draco looked away, frowning. He said nothing.
"I'm not lying when I tell you I love you," Harry said quietly. "I don't say it just to say it, and I'm not lying now, when I say that I can't live without you."
Draco looked back quickly, trembling. "I ... I didn't say .... " He swallowed. "I love you too. I would be with you any way I could," he admitted.
Harry's heart gave a sporadic few beats. "Then you know you're stuck with me forever, right?" he whispered. "As long as you want me." He moved a hand down into his pocket, wondering if Draco would think him mad - wondering himself if he was mad.
"Forever," Draco whispered, fingers tracing along Harry's jaw. "I will never stop wanting you."
Harry swallowed, biting his lip. "I already gave you this," he whispered, taking his hand out of his pocket again. "But I don't have another." He adjusted himself so that he was on one knee instead of both. He probably looked like a complete prat, but he figured he might as well do it properly. Oh, God, oh, Merlin, Oh, God.
Draco's eyes widened. "Harry?" he asked, heart pounding.
Harry met Draco's eyes, his heart pounding as well. "Will you marry me?" he asked, opening his palm to reveal the ring he'd rinsed of blood since it had been sent to him.
The blond sat silent and staring for a moment. His first response was a voice in his head that proclaimed that he wasn't a "girl" so he couldn't marry Harry Potter. But he pushed that away and smiled at him. "I would marry you and do anything and everything I could to keep you with me for the rest of my life," he answered firmly.
Harry let out a sigh of relief and smiled as well, still holding the ring. He flushed and bit his lip again before he said, "Does it go on the left now?"
Draco laughed, nearly crying again and held out his left hand to Harry. "Yes," he answered.
Harry smiled again, slipping the ring onto Draco's left third finger, and then kissed his hand. "I love you," he whispered.
"And I love you," Draco responded. "I always have and I always will."
Harry moved back onto the couch, taking Draco carefully into his arms. "Always will," he repeated.
Draco wound his arms around Harry too, holding him. It will be all right, he thought. As long as they had each other, they would be safe and happy.
Harry closed his eyes, still smiling as he held Draco. "Do I move mine?" he asked after a few minutes.
Draco pulled back and reached for Harry's right hand, gently tugging the ring off of him. Then he held it up. "Harry Potter, will you marry me?" he asked.
Harry smiled again. "Yes."
Draco slid the ring onto his lover's left-hand ring finger. "I vow to be here for you as long as I live," he said.
"And I for you," Harry replied. "Forever."
[You have made it to the end of A Love So Belated - the first half of a two book set. We hope you have enjoyed this story and till show your appreciation by leaving us a note. If you want to continue to read more of this story, please stick with us for book two, A Heart So Ravenous.
There is also a yahoo groups mailing list with updates about current and future writings by Slashpervert and co-authors. Feel free to sign up at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/slashpervert_fiction/ .]
Chapter Title: Always Been You
Words: 3312 Words
Draco was sitting propped up in the bed with a breakfast tray across his lap. He frowned at it, picking at the eggs with his fork.
After hours of not leaving the room, Harry finally had to get up to use the toilet. Draco's mother sat in her place beside his bed with hands folded in her lap, frowning at the way Draco was eating - or rather - not eating. She glanced at her hands and let out a small huff through her nose. "Draco," she said quietly.
Draco rolled his eyes and skewered a sausage, cutting into it with a fork before lifting the bite to his mouth. He forced himself to chew and swallow, hoping to stave off more nagging about his lack of appetite.
Narcissa sighed, shaking her head. She was silent for a moment before she said Draco's name again. "Draco, where are you going when they let you out? You know you've only got a little while left before they do." She spoke quickly, like she had been wanting to ask but had refrained.
Draco tensed. It would be easier in some ways to let his mother take him home, for her to pamper and keep him like a child. He wouldn't have to face his fears then. He shook his head. He might not be a hero, but he wasn't a coward either. "Home with Harry," he answered, taking another bite of the sausage.
Narcissa frowned again. "I think you should come home with me," she said. "Just for a while at least."
"Why?" Draco asked, nearly gagging on the sausage as he forced himself to swallow.
"Well," she said, still frowning. "I want to know you're all right. I want to be sure of it. And ... I don't feel comfortable having you there with him. I know how you feel about him, and he's ... I can see how he feels about you, but ...."
Draco set the fork down and pushed the tray away. He sighed, shaking his head. "Him? Harry saved my life, Mother," he said. "Three times now."
"You wouldn't have needed saving," she said quietly. "If it weren't for him. Not this time."
Draco thought about that. Actually, he had been thinking a lot about that. "They weren't just out to hurt him," Draco said. He didn't know if he should explain this to his mother. He knew that it would upset her.
"I am not stupid, Draco," Narcissa told him, looking up to meet his eyes. "I know much more about those people than you could possibly imagine. I know exactly what they were thinking and I know exactly what they would have done." She took a very deep breath. "Perhaps they would have gone after you without Harry as motivation as well, but it is much more likely that they would have left you alone."
"No, they wouldn't have," Draco said in a rough voice, his body tense as he remembered their taunts as they had cut him. "They wanted to hurt you and Father," he whispered.
Narcissa's hands in her lap clenched and her eyes were suddenly very shiny. "I'm sorry," she whispered after a very long moment, looking completely lost.
Draco immediately regretted telling her. "I'm sorry, Mother," he said, reaching a hand to her.
She closed her eyes, but they flew open a second later. "Stop it, Draco. Stop," she said, voice shaking. "Stop saying you're sorry. I can't stand it."
Draco's eyes widened and he drew back, heart pounding.
Narcissa covered her face, taking deep breaths from beneath her hands. "No," she said. "No, I'm not going to do this." She took yet another deep breath, letting it out slowly, but she didn't look like she knew what to do. "Do you want to go home with Harry?" she asked finally.
Draco took several breaths as well. He looked at his mother. He wanted to make her happy. He did. He tried to figure out a way to tell her how he felt, a way to make her understand. Finally he gave up and simply said, "I need him."
She placed her hands in her lap again. "Very well," she said quietly. "I'm going to go and see how much longer it will be before you can go." She stood, and at the same time, Harry reentered the room. He'd been waiting outside the open door and hadn't wanted to interrupt. He felt even worse.
"Mother," Draco said again, holding his hand out to her.
She looked at Draco and then took his hand in her own.
He kissed her hand and smiled at her. "Thank you," he said softly.
She nodded, managing a small not-quite-smile before leaving the room.
Harry stood near the door still, staring out the window. "You don't have to go with me for me," he said quietly.
Draco spent the next minute really looking at the man in front of him. He could see the stress in the way Harry held himself, the dark circles under his eyes and the worry in them. "I love you," was the only thing Draco could think to say at that moment and he did so without even realising it.
Harry swallowed, stepping closer and shaking slightly. "Still?" he whispered.
Draco blinked, surprised. "You doubt that?" he asked, voice carrying his shock.
"I didn't know how you would feel about me now," Harry answered. "Not after all of this was my fault. Even your mum -" He clenched his teeth and swallowed again against the lump in his throat.
"You heard?" Draco asked.
"I - the door was open," he said quietly.
"Then you heard what I said as well," Draco said. "I was telling the truth."
"Why?" Harry asked. "What do you need me for?"
Draco flushed, looking down. "I meant that it wasn't your fault. That even if we weren't together, my unc ... those two would have come after me."
Harry wasn't convinced, but only sighed. He knew it was his fault. "I love you, too," he said. "Still more than anything."
Draco looked up and held his hand out to Harry, urging him forward with it.
Harry stared at the outstretched hand for a moment, and then stepped forward to take it.
Draco's hand shook by the time his fingers clenched around Harry's. "Do you still ... want me ... to live with you?" he asked, not looking up, but focusing on their hands instead.
"Yes," Harry whispered. "If you still want to." He wouldn't blame Draco if he didn't.
"You just heard me tell my mother that I do," Draco answered, looking up again.
"Then come back with me," Harry said, feeling selfish but saying it anyway.
Draco flushed again. "I want to, I just don't know if I can ... be ... like I was ... before," he managed to say.
"I only want you," Harry whispered.
"You can have ... what's left of me, anyway," Draco said.
Harry closed his eyes and tilted his head back, just standing there still holding Draco's hand. "I want any part of you I can have," he said.
Draco trembled as he tugged on Harry's hand, pulling him closer.
Harry opened his eyes and moved forward again, going down beside the bed.
"Kiss me?" Draco asked, a bit breathlessly.
Harry looked at him for a few seconds before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Draco's.
Draco was still shaking as he kissed Harry, one hand holding the other man's and the other gripping the bed. Kissing Harry still felt like the most perfect thing in the world and he nearly wept in relief at that realisation.
Harry shook a little and then sighed, opening his mouth as he did.
Draco's tongue traced the edge of Harry's lips, feeling their warmth and softness. He was perversely grateful that the Lestrange brothers hadn't kissed him.
Harry sighed again, pressing the tip of his tongue to Draco's before sliding it into his mouth, his hand moving for that blond hair.
Draco lost himself in the kiss, in the taste and feeling of the man he loved. Eventually, he started to get aroused and his body tensed, his heart seeming to speed up too quickly.
Harry felt it, felt Draco freeze. He stilled himself, pulling back and breathing a little heavily.
"I still need you," Draco managed to gasp, even if his body seemed to betray that now.
"It's okay," Harry whispered, stroking Draco's hair back. "I'm here for whatever you need."
Draco nodded, squeezing his lover's hand. "Take me home?" he asked, nearly begging.
"Yes," Harry whispered.
***
When Harry and Draco walked back into number twelve, Harry closed the door softly behind them, and hung both their cloaks away. Draco had finally been allowed home, and Narcissa had gone home as well. Of course, she hadn't wanted to go without Draco, but Harry was the one with whom he had chosen to leave.
Harry looked at him now. "Do - do you want me to have Kreacher make some tea?" he asked quietly. "Or - you know, you could go get some sleep if you want. I can take you upstairs and then - well ...." He shrugged. "I'll just ... hang around or something."
Draco was pale and tired after making the trip from St Mungo's. "Yes, love," he said. "Tea and ... just hanging around ... would be lovely." Then he looked up the stairs and frowned.
Harry looked up the stairs and frowned too. "We don't have to go up there, I guess," he said. "If you don't want to."
"Maybe I could rest in the parlour," Draco said, smiling a bit sadly.
"Okay," Harry said, nodding. "That's fine." He hesitated before holding his hand out to lead Draco down the hall. He wasn't sure what was okay to do.
Draco took Harry's hand, as much for comfort as for the physical support. Once in the room, he let his lover help him to sit down on the couch, lowering himself gently. The wounds had all closed now but they were sore and his body still felt -- ragged.
Harry sat down next to Draco and then called Kreacher for tea. He made Draco's cup for him when the elf brought it.
"You going to hover?" Draco asked, smirking a bit to show he didn't mind.
Harry flushed. "Sorry, I just -" He shrugged, reaching to make his own cup.
Draco sipped his tea and watched Harry. "We're home, you can stop worrying so much."
Harry sighed, sitting back against the couch. He looked up at the ceiling. "Okay," he said in a whisper.
Draco did his best to relax into the couch too, sipping his tea and enjoying the quiet of their house. Their house. It was so noisy in the hospital. Here he could relax. The place was ugly but at least it was private.
Harry sat quietly - breathing quietly and sipping his tea quietly. He glanced at Draco, wanting to move in close to him, but he was unsure of whether Draco would want that or not.
Draco set his tea down beside him. He reached a hand out, lying it palm up between them on the sofa.
Harry smiled a little, wondering if Draco always knew what he was thinking. He took another sip of his tea before setting it aside as well, and then put his hand in Draco's, lacing their fingers.
Draco sighed happily, fingers squeezing Harry's. "Baby," he whispered.
Warmth spread through Harry, seeming to pool in his gut and his heart. He looked at Draco, raising an eyebrow in question.
Draco tugged gently on his lover's hand. "Come here," he whispered.
Harry scooted closer, until their sides were touching, his face still turned toward Draco.
Draco smiled softly, his eyes full of the love he felt for Harry. "Yes," he whispered again.
Harry sighed, closing the few inches between Draco's mouth and his own. He kissed him gently, letting the warmth of Draco's breath and lips drain away some of the tension.
"Mmm," Draco hummed against his lover's lips, his other hand coming up to cup the back of Harry's head.
Harry sighed again, just barely brushing his tongue over Draco's bottom lip.
Draco gasped, opening his mouth to his lover's tongue. His fingers curled into Harry's hair and he shivered.
Harry moaned quietly, both hands coming up to cup Draco's face as they kissed, pulling him closer.
Draco loved the feel of Harry's breath on his face, his lips and tongue sliding against his own, and his hands pressed to his cheeks. He loved everything about him.
One of Harry's hands slid into Draco's hair, and he began pressing forward. He raised himself up on his knees, grasping the back of the couch near Draco's shoulder.
Draco opened his mouth to Harry but then began to tense as the man pressed against him. He shook as his body reacted - both with arousal and fear.
Not knowing anything was wrong, Harry continued forward, lowering Draco down against the arm of the sofa.
Draco's heart sped up and he pulled on Harry's hair. With Harry's mouth over his, he didn't know how to tell him what was wrong.
Feeling the urgent tugs, Harry pulled back, his eyes going wide. "I - oh, God, Draco, I'm sorry. I didn't - I didn't mean to, I -" He flushed, pulling back even further. "I'm sorry."
Draco was panting, trying to get control of himself as his body shuddered in remembered pain. "No," he managed but his heart clenched at the look on Harry's face.
Harry covered his eyes with his hand, taking his glasses off. He, too, tried to gain control of himself, ashamed of his arousal. He slumped over, not even wanting Draco to see it.
Draco sobbed, angry at himself for doing this to Harry. Angry at the men who did this to them both. "No," he whispered again, "I'm sorry."
Harry looked over at him, wincing at the tears. "Baby, don't," he said, making a strange jerky movement. He wanted to hold Draco, but was confused about it again.
"I ... I'm sorry, I just ...." Draco sobbed again, fingers clenched by his side. He wanted to reach for Harry but was afraid now.
Harry still didn't know what to do, and he was getting angry with himself because Draco was crying and spouting unnecessary apologies and he was just sitting there, watching him. He slid off the couch and onto his knees, crawling to Draco that way. At least he could be near him, and didn't have to touch him then. He didn't want Draco to be afraid of him and actually shook with the thought of it.
Draco couldn't stop the tears, shaking his head at seeing Harry on his knees. "I love you," he said. His hand shook but he managed to force himself to hold it out again, reaching to touch Harry.
Harry didn't quite know what to do with the touch, but he couldn't deny that it felt good. He wanted to kiss Draco's tears away, but didn't. He didn't even know if he should tell him that he wanted to. "Love you," he whispered instead.
"Please," Draco begged, fingers cupping Harry's chin. "I want ...."
Harry shook his head. "Draco," he said, "you're not comfortable with this, and I don't want you to feel like you have to do it for me. I'm fine."
"I want to .... " Draco whispered, shaking. "I just can't control ... how I react."
"I shouldn't have done that," Harry whispered. "I wasn't thinking, I -" He shook his head again.
Draco winced, the pain worse. He didn't want Harry apologising for desiring him. "No, please don't do that."
Harry sighed, closing his eyes and then bent to let his forehead rest against the couch.
Draco ran his long fingers through his lover's thick hair. He found it soothing.
It was very silent for a few minutes, and Harry didn't move from his place on the floor, didn't move at all until he lifted his head again. Somewhat hesitantly, he took Draco's hand from his hair and gently kissed it. "I love you more than anything," he whispered truthfully.
Draco smiled at his touch. "And I love you," he answered, fingers curling around Harry's.
Harry looked down at their clasped hands and noticed that there was something missing. Of course. He met Draco's eyes, his gaze serious as his heart sped up even with only the thought of asking Draco .... "Would you be with me forever?" he whispered after debating with himself for several moments.
Could Harry really doubt that? "You can't want to be with me ... not now," Draco answered.
Harry's expression was pained as those words left Draco's lips. "Please tell me you don't really think that," he insisted.
Draco looked away, frowning. He said nothing.
"I'm not lying when I tell you I love you," Harry said quietly. "I don't say it just to say it, and I'm not lying now, when I say that I can't live without you."
Draco looked back quickly, trembling. "I ... I didn't say .... " He swallowed. "I love you too. I would be with you any way I could," he admitted.
Harry's heart gave a sporadic few beats. "Then you know you're stuck with me forever, right?" he whispered. "As long as you want me." He moved a hand down into his pocket, wondering if Draco would think him mad - wondering himself if he was mad.
"Forever," Draco whispered, fingers tracing along Harry's jaw. "I will never stop wanting you."
Harry swallowed, biting his lip. "I already gave you this," he whispered, taking his hand out of his pocket again. "But I don't have another." He adjusted himself so that he was on one knee instead of both. He probably looked like a complete prat, but he figured he might as well do it properly. Oh, God, oh, Merlin, Oh, God.
Draco's eyes widened. "Harry?" he asked, heart pounding.
Harry met Draco's eyes, his heart pounding as well. "Will you marry me?" he asked, opening his palm to reveal the ring he'd rinsed of blood since it had been sent to him.
The blond sat silent and staring for a moment. His first response was a voice in his head that proclaimed that he wasn't a "girl" so he couldn't marry Harry Potter. But he pushed that away and smiled at him. "I would marry you and do anything and everything I could to keep you with me for the rest of my life," he answered firmly.
Harry let out a sigh of relief and smiled as well, still holding the ring. He flushed and bit his lip again before he said, "Does it go on the left now?"
Draco laughed, nearly crying again and held out his left hand to Harry. "Yes," he answered.
Harry smiled again, slipping the ring onto Draco's left third finger, and then kissed his hand. "I love you," he whispered.
"And I love you," Draco responded. "I always have and I always will."
Harry moved back onto the couch, taking Draco carefully into his arms. "Always will," he repeated.
Draco wound his arms around Harry too, holding him. It will be all right, he thought. As long as they had each other, they would be safe and happy.
Harry closed his eyes, still smiling as he held Draco. "Do I move mine?" he asked after a few minutes.
Draco pulled back and reached for Harry's right hand, gently tugging the ring off of him. Then he held it up. "Harry Potter, will you marry me?" he asked.
Harry smiled again. "Yes."
Draco slid the ring onto his lover's left-hand ring finger. "I vow to be here for you as long as I live," he said.
"And I for you," Harry replied. "Forever."
[You have made it to the end of A Love So Belated - the first half of a two book set. We hope you have enjoyed this story and till show your appreciation by leaving us a note. If you want to continue to read more of this story, please stick with us for book two, A Heart So Ravenous.
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