A Love So Belated
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
46,694
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358
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
44
Views:
46,694
Reviews:
358
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 43: So Much of It Broken
Chapter Number/Total: 43/44
Chapter Title: So Much of It Broken
Words: 3770 Words
Draco's first moment of awareness after Rodolphus had beaten him senseless was the sound of crying. He didn't think he was the one crying, but he hurt so badly that he didn't know if he could move. It felt like his legs and arms were held down still, which made him afraid to open his eyes. He shifted uncomfortably and gasped as his ribs hurt.
Someone else gasped as well. "Draco?" asked a nasally voice, and a delicate hand smoothed his hair back very gently.
Draco's eyes fluttered open, blinking at the light in the room.
"Oh, Draco," his mother sobbed, the owner of the hand and the voice. Her eyes were very red and she looked a complete mess.
"Mother," Draco whispered and it came out as a kind of croak. Trying to speak made him aware that his lips were swollen and cut and that his throat was sore and dry.
Narcissa continued to cry, fussing over her son with fluttering hands.
"Draco?" came another voice softly, and Harry stepped into his line of vision, his expression that of someone very worried – more than worried. His eyes were red as well.
"Harry," Draco murmured, trying to lift a hand to reach for him, but he found they were both bandaged and apparently bound to boards to keep him from doing just that. He had a moment to wonder if he had broken them while under the Cruciatus Curse. "My love," he whispered.
Harry trembled and went to his knees beside the bed. "Draco," he said again, reaching a hand to touch his face.
"You saved me, again," Draco managed and then grimaced. "Water?" he asked.
Narcissa was the one to reach for water on the bedside table. She went to help Draco drink, and then seemed to think twice before finally handing the glass to Harry.
Harry glanced at her, surprised, and then helped Draco hold his head up to take a drink.
Draco sipped the water and then glanced between them, smiling. "Thanks," he said.
Narcissa let out another sob at that. "Oh, Draco," she said again.
Harry didn't take his eyes from Draco's face.
Draco looked his lover up and down, noticing the bandages on his arms and the dark circles under his eyes. "How long?" he asked.
"A day," Harry answered, his voice a little hoarse as well. "About a day and a half, I suppose."
"They dead?" the blond asked.
"Rabastan is," Harry answered quietly. "I'm not sure what the Aurors did with Rodolphus. I ... haven't left here."
"You haven't slept," Draco observed, glancing between Harry and his mother. It wasn't a question. "I take it I was badly ... injured."
Harry nodded, putting his hand over Draco's and giving it a small squeeze.
"Yes," Narcissa whispered tearfully.
"Mother," he said, "I am going to be fine. You should get some rest now."
Harry had been telling her that for the past several hours. He looked at her now.
"Don't worry about me, Draco," Narcissa said, kissing his forehead. "I want to make sure you're okay."
"I appreciate that, Mother," Draco replied, trying to smile despite the swollen lips. "Please go rest and let me talk with Harry now."
She opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it, closing her eyes also for a long moment. It was obvious that she was battling with herself. "Yes," she said finally. She stood strangely, like she didn't want to leave Draco at all. "I'll go and come back later." She turned eyes on Harry and pointed a finger at him. "Make sure he doesn't hurt himself," she ordered.
"Of course," Harry said seriously.
She nodded, sniffing as she walked from the room in an odd, stiff way.
Draco watched her go and sighed when the door closed behind her. He closed his eyes a moment and then turned and looked at his lover. "I'm sorry," he said.
"No," Harry said, moving to sit on the edge of the bed to be nearer to Draco. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
Draco looked down. "They used me to hurt you."
"Exactly," Harry said, voice shaking a little. "They wanted me. God, I – I'm sorry. I couldn't get out of that chair and -" His breathing sped up and he closed his eyes.
"You would never have walked into that trap if it weren't for me," Draco disagreed, fingers curling with the urge to again reach for Harry.
Harry shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand. "And they would have taken someone else I love if not you," he said quietly. "This happens to everyone around me."
"Would you have given up your wand for anyone?" Draco asked. He was strangely grateful for his damaged throat as it masked his feelings well.
Harry thought about that for a few seconds. "If there was no way to keep it," he answered.
Draco's eyes narrowed. He didn't like that, but he wasn't sure whether it was because Harry made himself so vulnerable, or if it was that he would do the same for someone else.
When Harry looked up again, he frowned at Draco's expression. "What is it?" he asked, reaching to touch his face again.
"You are willing to give up your wand if someone else is in danger and you want to be an Auror?" Draco asked, anger in his voice now.
Harry blinked at Draco. He was going to bring this up now? "For Ron, for Hermione," he said. "I would give up my wand, yes. You wouldn't for your mother?"
"Not if it meant I had to die with her," Draco answered coldly.
Harry frowned, sitting back and staring at Draco. He couldn't think of anything to say to that.
Draco hurt so badly it was almost worse than when he had been in chains, but now it was as much his heart as his body. He felt shame every time he thought about what Harry had watched Rodolphus and Rabastan do to him. He looked down at himself. How much more marked was he than before? Would Harry always think of that when he saw him? He closed his eyes against the stinging in them.
"I don't know why you're angry with me," Harry said quietly. "You probably have the right to be, but I won't leave until you tell me to."
Draco looked up then, surprise showing in his eyes. How could Harry even stand to look at him now? Was it just some sort of Gryffindor sense of honour? Should he send Harry away then? Draco found himself panting, fear and longing warring inside him.
Harry's eyes widened in confusion and he leant close to Draco's face again. "Whatever it is, please, Draco, tell me and – I – I'll do anything – anything you want."
Draco knew that for Harry's sake, he should send the man away. Hell, he had even known that back when Harry was still dating Ginny. But he had never wanted anything or anyone like he wanted Harry. It made his stomach roil and sore body clench painfully to even think about being without him.
"Please, baby," Harry whispered. "Please."
Those words undid him. He had no defence against them or the sound in Harry's voice. Suddenly, Draco felt a tear run down his cheek. He hadn't cried in a very long time, not since that day in the bathroom at Hogwarts. He wanted to wipe it away, but his hands were still bound to boards and he sat helpless as more tears joined the first.
Harry didn't know what else to do but hold Draco, though he was afraid of hurting him. He kissed Draco's tears as they fell. "I love you," he whispered, not wanting to think of anything but how true that was. "I love you more than anything."
Draco sobbed then. He turned his face up so that Harry's lips pressed to his. He didn't care how much pain it caused; he wanted Harry to kiss him.
Harry kissed Draco very gently, his heart beating a little faster as he did. It made him almost angry that he couldn't take out whatever thoughts were making Draco feel the way he did. He wanted to make it all disappear.
Draco kissed him back hungrily as if that could make it all okay again. His lips hurt but he didn't care. He wanted to lift his arms and hold Harry. And he couldn't stop crying now. Two years, he hadn't cried. Not when Voldemort had had them tortured. Not when Harry had walked out on him after that first kiss. And not even when the Lestranges had raped him. Now he cried.
"Shhh," Harry hushed against Draco's lips. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."
"Too late," Draco gasped, but kissed back, opening his mouth to Harry.
Harry stilled at those words and tensed before pulling back. His own eyes began to burn. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Don't," Draco gasped. He didn't want to cause more pain for Harry. He struggled against the bindings that held his arms.
"Stop moving, Draco," Harry told him, his eyes still burning. "You had to be awake to take Skelegrow, but you can't move until you're mended." His own words made him cringe as he thought about why Draco had broken bones.
Draco tried to breathe, to calm down and still himself as Harry had instructed, finally managing to stop his tears. His face was wet and his nose itched. "Tell them I will take the potions now," he whispered.
Harry nodded, moving to his feet to get someone for Draco. There was an ache in his chest and he wasn't sure how to make it go away.
He found a mediwitch down the hallway, and soon Draco was checked and being administered the potions he hadn't been able to take while asleep.
The witch had several potions for Draco to take, including Blood-Replenishing and Skelegrow. "It should be a little while before it takes full effect," she told Draco once she'd given him the Skelegrow. "Then you can take your arms out." She patted his hand and glanced at Harry before leaving again.
Draco watched her go and then closed his eyes. "Is it supposed to hurt more now than before the potion?" he asked.
Harry nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Your bones are mending. Took me all night to grow them back in my arm."
"I remember that. Lockhart," Draco said, opening his eyes again to look at Harry. "You should get some rest."
Harry shook his head. "I can't," he whispered.
"You can't?" Draco asked, suddenly very tired again.
Harry shook his head again. He didn't know if he really wouldn't be able to sleep without Draco, or if he just didn't want to. "You go to sleep though," he said. "I'll be here."
"You should go ...." Draco tried to argue, but his eyelids were heavy and he fell asleep before he could finish.
***
"You really should get some sleep, Harry."
“I'm fine, Hermione," Harry answered. "Can't sleep anyway."
Hermione sighed. "But you look tired."
Harry sighed too, not even answering, as they had been arguing about sleeping since she and Ron had gotten there.
Narcissa glanced around at them all, obviously uncomfortable in such company, but she only kept stroking Draco's hair gently.
Draco moaned in his sleep, pressing his face to his mother's hand.
Harry was sitting at the other side of the bed and looked down.
"Draco?" Narcissa asked gently.
"Mmm," Draco responded, trying to wake up. He lifted his hand to his own face and then his eyes opened when he realised it meant they had untied him.
Narcissa continued to pet her son's hair and face. "Are you feeling a little better now?" she asked.
Harry didn't want to be intrusive, but he slid his hand onto the bed.
Draco licked his lips and found that they and his tongue were better than when he had been awake before. "Water, please," he told his mother. He looked up, eyes widening when he saw Ron and Hermione as well as Harry. He reached his hand and laid it on Harry's.
Narcissa reached for the glass and handed it to Draco while Harry sighed quietly, more content with just the little touch.
Ron and Hermione stared at Draco.
"You've been sleeping for a little while now," Narcissa told Draco quietly.
Draco took the glass, and though his hand was still unsteady, he was glad to be able to drink on his own. His other hand tightened on Harry's. "Anything happen while I slept?" he asked, looking at Harry and frowning at how tired the man looked.
"Not a whole lot," Harry replied, still feeling achy. "Ron and Hermione came to see ... how we were doing," he said, glancing over at them.
Ron gave a stiff nod and Hermione gave Draco a strange sort of small grimace of a smile.
Draco didn't know what to say to that, so he nodded as well. "Can you get Harry to go to sleep?" he asked Hermione and Ron.
Hermione gave Harry a dark look. "I've been trying," she said.
Harry rolled his eyes.
"How long will I be here?" Draco asked, handing the glass back to his mother. He had other questions but he wouldn't ask them in front of his mother or the other two.
"They haven't said," Narcissa answered. "They're wanting to make sure everything is working correctly before they release you, so it might be another night, but maybe not," she said soothingly, though she did sound upset; she hadn't sounded anything but upset since arriving.
Draco huffed and laid his head back, unsure of what to say or do now. He wanted to go back to sleep, to not think about what had happened.
"You should eat, love," Narcissa continued. She turned to where there was a tray of food standing behind her and moved it closer to the bed.
Draco frowned. "I'm not hungry."
"Eat, Draco," Harry urged, clutching his hand a little tighter for a short moment.
"I don't want to eat and I don't want to talk," Draco said petulantly and crossed his arms over his chest. The gesture lost something when he hissed in pain.
Narcissa's hands fluttered over Draco. "Where does it hurt?" she demanded.
Harry frowned, bringing his hand off the bed.
"The chest wounds were magical," Draco sighed. "They will probably take longer to heal." He knew it was true. He still had scars from when Harry had used the spell on him.
Narcissa's eyes flashed with anger and she nodded.
Hermione stood up from where she was sitting in a chair against the wall. She glanced at Draco as she walked over to Harry and then bent down to say quietly against Harry's ear, "Should we go? I don't want to upset him."
Harry glanced at Draco as well. "Yeah, I – I guess you can go," he said. Honestly, he wished Narcissa would leave, too. He knew she had the right to be there as Draco's mother, but he was feeling a little jealous of her, having to deal with letting her care for Draco.
Hermione nodded. "We wanted to make sure you were okay. You are okay, aren't you?" She leant back and frowned, looking into his eyes.
Harry let out a small quiet breath and nodded, but he didn't know what the right answer was.
She shook her head the smallest bit and stood straight again. "I -" she began, addressing Draco, but stopped. "I hope you feel better," she said finally. "Harry, we're going to let the Weasleys know you're okay." She walked back over to Ron, who stood. "Get some sleep," she said one last time before nodding to Draco and Narcissa. Ron nodded as well and they left through the door.
Draco nodded to them again and then looked at this mother and sighed. "I will ... heal."
She frowned at him, but didn't say anything.
Harry sighed quietly, picking at his nails as he stared at his hands in his lap.
"I need to talk with Harry, Mother," Draco said, patting her hand. "I'm safe now. You can stop worrying over me."
"But, Draco," she said. "I can't just leave you here."
"You can't be with me every minute of the day," he told her, reaching to touch her cheek. "I am not a child, Mother."
"You're my child," she said softly.
"Yes," he smiled. "I know. And I know I haven't made that easy."
She frowned again. "Don't say things like that, Draco."
He rolled his eyes and huffed. "What do you want me to say, Mother? I have not lived up to Father's expectations and I have put you through a lot trying to protect me. I know you love me. You've proven that. I just don't want to put you through all this."
She sighed heavily. "Draco," she said, "I am your mother. It's my job to go through this. You won't understand how I feel until you have your own child." And then her face faltered a bit and she glanced at Harry, but quickly back to Draco.
Draco winced but nodded. "Can you let me have some time to talk with Harry?" he asked her.
She stared at him for a few moments. "If I had my way I wouldn't leave this room," she said, but stood up, kissing Draco's forehead as she always did. She cupped his cheek before turning to leave, but obviously didn't want to.
Draco sighed and shook his head. "I think she wants to lock me in my room until I am thirty, or even sixty."
"She loves you," Harry said quietly.
"Yes," Draco said in an equally quiet voice. After a minute he sighed again. "Do I need to ask a Healer or can you tell me how badly damaged I am?"
Harry winced and bit his lip. "You want to know?"
"Shouldn't I?" Draco countered.
Harry looked at him, meeting his eyes briefly. "Your arms were broken," he said quietly. "In several places. You had cracked ribs and cuts and bruises everywhere, but they healed most of those. There are a few that are still mending. There was," and here he had to take a deep breath, "tearing, but that's mending as well." His hands were clenched when he finished.
"They gave me Blood-Replenishing Potions," Draco said. "That sounds like a lot of blood loss, probably ... internal bleeding."
"It wasn't good," Harry affirmed. He didn't mention that the Healers told him that Draco had nearly died.
Draco nodded, shivering slightly at the memory. "Who knows?"
"Aurors were sent back to ... where they had us," Harry said. "I don't know if there's been anything in the paper. I let Ron and Hermione know so that they wouldn't hear it somewhere else and panic about me, and the Weasleys know from Mr Weasley."
"Who knows they ...." Draco closed his eyes, taking a breath to keep from getting sick. "Who knows they raped me?"
Harry clenched his teeth. "I didn't tell that," he whispered. "But your mother heard everything the Healers said."
Draco grimaced, shaking his head. He didn't understand why his heart sped up. He clenched his hands into fists.
Harry closed his eyes. He didn't know what to say to Draco and it was driving him mad.
It took Draco another minute to get himself calmed down enough to speak. "Maybe I should rest again," he finally said, not looking at Harry.
"Okay," Harry whispered.
Draco closed his eyes but didn't fall asleep. Part of him felt he should tell Harry to leave, go home and get some sleep. But the thought of being without Harry made him near sick again. After a minute, he opened his eyes to see what Harry was doing.
He wasn't doing anything, only sitting and staring at a point a little above the floor.
"Is there someplace you can lie down?" Draco asked.
"I don't want to sleep," Harry answered. He didn't say, "without you."
"You need to sleep, Harry," Draco said, voice softening. "You look terrible."
Harry winced again. "I can't. I tried to," he lied.
Draco stared at Harry. "You are exhausted. If I have to take the bloody potions, you have to rest."
Harry looked up and into Draco's face. "I -" he began, biting his lip again. "I'm afraid to," he admitted in a whisper. "I don't want to sleep unless ... unless I can hold onto you."
Harry Potter, who had defeated Voldemort and had recently defeated two more Death Eaters, looked like a small boy when he said that. Draco smiled softly at him. It was like seeing that little boy in the robe shop again. Something hard loosened inside him. "Help me move over," he said in a near whisper.
Harry frowned, shaking his head quickly. "Draco, no – I – I don't want to hurt you."
"I think we are both thin enough to fit," Draco said and then winced as he tried to scoot over on his own.
Harry made a quiet huffing noise, reaching to help. Once Draco was situated, he stood staring at the small empty space in the bed, still frowning.
"Spell damage can take a long time to heal, Harry," Draco said. "You can't stay awake that long." He patted the bed beside him.
Harry made a bit of a strange face at that and then climbed onto the bed, trying not to jostle Draco too much. As much as he didn't want to risk hurting him, Harry already felt a little better.
Draco couldn't even turn onto his side, so he reached a hand and laid it on Harry's arm. "That's better," he said, not sure who he was soothing.
"Yes," Harry whispered, staring at Draco. He moved his hand very slightly and grasped the material of the hospital gown Draco was wearing.
"Can you sleep now?" Draco asked, fingers caressing Harry's arm through the cloth of his sleeve.
"I guess we'll see," Harry answered, fingers tightening.
Draco lay staring up at the ceiling, his hand still holding Harry's arm as his eyes started to droop. "Right beside you," he murmured just before he fell asleep again.
Even though Harry was exhausted, he lay awake after Draco. At least a few minutes passed before his eyes began to droop as well, and this time, he allowed it. Feeling Draco's hand on his arm and holding onto him with his own hand helped him to finally fall asleep as well.
Chapter Title: So Much of It Broken
Words: 3770 Words
Draco's first moment of awareness after Rodolphus had beaten him senseless was the sound of crying. He didn't think he was the one crying, but he hurt so badly that he didn't know if he could move. It felt like his legs and arms were held down still, which made him afraid to open his eyes. He shifted uncomfortably and gasped as his ribs hurt.
Someone else gasped as well. "Draco?" asked a nasally voice, and a delicate hand smoothed his hair back very gently.
Draco's eyes fluttered open, blinking at the light in the room.
"Oh, Draco," his mother sobbed, the owner of the hand and the voice. Her eyes were very red and she looked a complete mess.
"Mother," Draco whispered and it came out as a kind of croak. Trying to speak made him aware that his lips were swollen and cut and that his throat was sore and dry.
Narcissa continued to cry, fussing over her son with fluttering hands.
"Draco?" came another voice softly, and Harry stepped into his line of vision, his expression that of someone very worried – more than worried. His eyes were red as well.
"Harry," Draco murmured, trying to lift a hand to reach for him, but he found they were both bandaged and apparently bound to boards to keep him from doing just that. He had a moment to wonder if he had broken them while under the Cruciatus Curse. "My love," he whispered.
Harry trembled and went to his knees beside the bed. "Draco," he said again, reaching a hand to touch his face.
"You saved me, again," Draco managed and then grimaced. "Water?" he asked.
Narcissa was the one to reach for water on the bedside table. She went to help Draco drink, and then seemed to think twice before finally handing the glass to Harry.
Harry glanced at her, surprised, and then helped Draco hold his head up to take a drink.
Draco sipped the water and then glanced between them, smiling. "Thanks," he said.
Narcissa let out another sob at that. "Oh, Draco," she said again.
Harry didn't take his eyes from Draco's face.
Draco looked his lover up and down, noticing the bandages on his arms and the dark circles under his eyes. "How long?" he asked.
"A day," Harry answered, his voice a little hoarse as well. "About a day and a half, I suppose."
"They dead?" the blond asked.
"Rabastan is," Harry answered quietly. "I'm not sure what the Aurors did with Rodolphus. I ... haven't left here."
"You haven't slept," Draco observed, glancing between Harry and his mother. It wasn't a question. "I take it I was badly ... injured."
Harry nodded, putting his hand over Draco's and giving it a small squeeze.
"Yes," Narcissa whispered tearfully.
"Mother," he said, "I am going to be fine. You should get some rest now."
Harry had been telling her that for the past several hours. He looked at her now.
"Don't worry about me, Draco," Narcissa said, kissing his forehead. "I want to make sure you're okay."
"I appreciate that, Mother," Draco replied, trying to smile despite the swollen lips. "Please go rest and let me talk with Harry now."
She opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it, closing her eyes also for a long moment. It was obvious that she was battling with herself. "Yes," she said finally. She stood strangely, like she didn't want to leave Draco at all. "I'll go and come back later." She turned eyes on Harry and pointed a finger at him. "Make sure he doesn't hurt himself," she ordered.
"Of course," Harry said seriously.
She nodded, sniffing as she walked from the room in an odd, stiff way.
Draco watched her go and sighed when the door closed behind her. He closed his eyes a moment and then turned and looked at his lover. "I'm sorry," he said.
"No," Harry said, moving to sit on the edge of the bed to be nearer to Draco. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."
Draco looked down. "They used me to hurt you."
"Exactly," Harry said, voice shaking a little. "They wanted me. God, I – I'm sorry. I couldn't get out of that chair and -" His breathing sped up and he closed his eyes.
"You would never have walked into that trap if it weren't for me," Draco disagreed, fingers curling with the urge to again reach for Harry.
Harry shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand. "And they would have taken someone else I love if not you," he said quietly. "This happens to everyone around me."
"Would you have given up your wand for anyone?" Draco asked. He was strangely grateful for his damaged throat as it masked his feelings well.
Harry thought about that for a few seconds. "If there was no way to keep it," he answered.
Draco's eyes narrowed. He didn't like that, but he wasn't sure whether it was because Harry made himself so vulnerable, or if it was that he would do the same for someone else.
When Harry looked up again, he frowned at Draco's expression. "What is it?" he asked, reaching to touch his face again.
"You are willing to give up your wand if someone else is in danger and you want to be an Auror?" Draco asked, anger in his voice now.
Harry blinked at Draco. He was going to bring this up now? "For Ron, for Hermione," he said. "I would give up my wand, yes. You wouldn't for your mother?"
"Not if it meant I had to die with her," Draco answered coldly.
Harry frowned, sitting back and staring at Draco. He couldn't think of anything to say to that.
Draco hurt so badly it was almost worse than when he had been in chains, but now it was as much his heart as his body. He felt shame every time he thought about what Harry had watched Rodolphus and Rabastan do to him. He looked down at himself. How much more marked was he than before? Would Harry always think of that when he saw him? He closed his eyes against the stinging in them.
"I don't know why you're angry with me," Harry said quietly. "You probably have the right to be, but I won't leave until you tell me to."
Draco looked up then, surprise showing in his eyes. How could Harry even stand to look at him now? Was it just some sort of Gryffindor sense of honour? Should he send Harry away then? Draco found himself panting, fear and longing warring inside him.
Harry's eyes widened in confusion and he leant close to Draco's face again. "Whatever it is, please, Draco, tell me and – I – I'll do anything – anything you want."
Draco knew that for Harry's sake, he should send the man away. Hell, he had even known that back when Harry was still dating Ginny. But he had never wanted anything or anyone like he wanted Harry. It made his stomach roil and sore body clench painfully to even think about being without him.
"Please, baby," Harry whispered. "Please."
Those words undid him. He had no defence against them or the sound in Harry's voice. Suddenly, Draco felt a tear run down his cheek. He hadn't cried in a very long time, not since that day in the bathroom at Hogwarts. He wanted to wipe it away, but his hands were still bound to boards and he sat helpless as more tears joined the first.
Harry didn't know what else to do but hold Draco, though he was afraid of hurting him. He kissed Draco's tears as they fell. "I love you," he whispered, not wanting to think of anything but how true that was. "I love you more than anything."
Draco sobbed then. He turned his face up so that Harry's lips pressed to his. He didn't care how much pain it caused; he wanted Harry to kiss him.
Harry kissed Draco very gently, his heart beating a little faster as he did. It made him almost angry that he couldn't take out whatever thoughts were making Draco feel the way he did. He wanted to make it all disappear.
Draco kissed him back hungrily as if that could make it all okay again. His lips hurt but he didn't care. He wanted to lift his arms and hold Harry. And he couldn't stop crying now. Two years, he hadn't cried. Not when Voldemort had had them tortured. Not when Harry had walked out on him after that first kiss. And not even when the Lestranges had raped him. Now he cried.
"Shhh," Harry hushed against Draco's lips. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."
"Too late," Draco gasped, but kissed back, opening his mouth to Harry.
Harry stilled at those words and tensed before pulling back. His own eyes began to burn. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Don't," Draco gasped. He didn't want to cause more pain for Harry. He struggled against the bindings that held his arms.
"Stop moving, Draco," Harry told him, his eyes still burning. "You had to be awake to take Skelegrow, but you can't move until you're mended." His own words made him cringe as he thought about why Draco had broken bones.
Draco tried to breathe, to calm down and still himself as Harry had instructed, finally managing to stop his tears. His face was wet and his nose itched. "Tell them I will take the potions now," he whispered.
Harry nodded, moving to his feet to get someone for Draco. There was an ache in his chest and he wasn't sure how to make it go away.
He found a mediwitch down the hallway, and soon Draco was checked and being administered the potions he hadn't been able to take while asleep.
The witch had several potions for Draco to take, including Blood-Replenishing and Skelegrow. "It should be a little while before it takes full effect," she told Draco once she'd given him the Skelegrow. "Then you can take your arms out." She patted his hand and glanced at Harry before leaving again.
Draco watched her go and then closed his eyes. "Is it supposed to hurt more now than before the potion?" he asked.
Harry nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Your bones are mending. Took me all night to grow them back in my arm."
"I remember that. Lockhart," Draco said, opening his eyes again to look at Harry. "You should get some rest."
Harry shook his head. "I can't," he whispered.
"You can't?" Draco asked, suddenly very tired again.
Harry shook his head again. He didn't know if he really wouldn't be able to sleep without Draco, or if he just didn't want to. "You go to sleep though," he said. "I'll be here."
"You should go ...." Draco tried to argue, but his eyelids were heavy and he fell asleep before he could finish.
***
"You really should get some sleep, Harry."
“I'm fine, Hermione," Harry answered. "Can't sleep anyway."
Hermione sighed. "But you look tired."
Harry sighed too, not even answering, as they had been arguing about sleeping since she and Ron had gotten there.
Narcissa glanced around at them all, obviously uncomfortable in such company, but she only kept stroking Draco's hair gently.
Draco moaned in his sleep, pressing his face to his mother's hand.
Harry was sitting at the other side of the bed and looked down.
"Draco?" Narcissa asked gently.
"Mmm," Draco responded, trying to wake up. He lifted his hand to his own face and then his eyes opened when he realised it meant they had untied him.
Narcissa continued to pet her son's hair and face. "Are you feeling a little better now?" she asked.
Harry didn't want to be intrusive, but he slid his hand onto the bed.
Draco licked his lips and found that they and his tongue were better than when he had been awake before. "Water, please," he told his mother. He looked up, eyes widening when he saw Ron and Hermione as well as Harry. He reached his hand and laid it on Harry's.
Narcissa reached for the glass and handed it to Draco while Harry sighed quietly, more content with just the little touch.
Ron and Hermione stared at Draco.
"You've been sleeping for a little while now," Narcissa told Draco quietly.
Draco took the glass, and though his hand was still unsteady, he was glad to be able to drink on his own. His other hand tightened on Harry's. "Anything happen while I slept?" he asked, looking at Harry and frowning at how tired the man looked.
"Not a whole lot," Harry replied, still feeling achy. "Ron and Hermione came to see ... how we were doing," he said, glancing over at them.
Ron gave a stiff nod and Hermione gave Draco a strange sort of small grimace of a smile.
Draco didn't know what to say to that, so he nodded as well. "Can you get Harry to go to sleep?" he asked Hermione and Ron.
Hermione gave Harry a dark look. "I've been trying," she said.
Harry rolled his eyes.
"How long will I be here?" Draco asked, handing the glass back to his mother. He had other questions but he wouldn't ask them in front of his mother or the other two.
"They haven't said," Narcissa answered. "They're wanting to make sure everything is working correctly before they release you, so it might be another night, but maybe not," she said soothingly, though she did sound upset; she hadn't sounded anything but upset since arriving.
Draco huffed and laid his head back, unsure of what to say or do now. He wanted to go back to sleep, to not think about what had happened.
"You should eat, love," Narcissa continued. She turned to where there was a tray of food standing behind her and moved it closer to the bed.
Draco frowned. "I'm not hungry."
"Eat, Draco," Harry urged, clutching his hand a little tighter for a short moment.
"I don't want to eat and I don't want to talk," Draco said petulantly and crossed his arms over his chest. The gesture lost something when he hissed in pain.
Narcissa's hands fluttered over Draco. "Where does it hurt?" she demanded.
Harry frowned, bringing his hand off the bed.
"The chest wounds were magical," Draco sighed. "They will probably take longer to heal." He knew it was true. He still had scars from when Harry had used the spell on him.
Narcissa's eyes flashed with anger and she nodded.
Hermione stood up from where she was sitting in a chair against the wall. She glanced at Draco as she walked over to Harry and then bent down to say quietly against Harry's ear, "Should we go? I don't want to upset him."
Harry glanced at Draco as well. "Yeah, I – I guess you can go," he said. Honestly, he wished Narcissa would leave, too. He knew she had the right to be there as Draco's mother, but he was feeling a little jealous of her, having to deal with letting her care for Draco.
Hermione nodded. "We wanted to make sure you were okay. You are okay, aren't you?" She leant back and frowned, looking into his eyes.
Harry let out a small quiet breath and nodded, but he didn't know what the right answer was.
She shook her head the smallest bit and stood straight again. "I -" she began, addressing Draco, but stopped. "I hope you feel better," she said finally. "Harry, we're going to let the Weasleys know you're okay." She walked back over to Ron, who stood. "Get some sleep," she said one last time before nodding to Draco and Narcissa. Ron nodded as well and they left through the door.
Draco nodded to them again and then looked at this mother and sighed. "I will ... heal."
She frowned at him, but didn't say anything.
Harry sighed quietly, picking at his nails as he stared at his hands in his lap.
"I need to talk with Harry, Mother," Draco said, patting her hand. "I'm safe now. You can stop worrying over me."
"But, Draco," she said. "I can't just leave you here."
"You can't be with me every minute of the day," he told her, reaching to touch her cheek. "I am not a child, Mother."
"You're my child," she said softly.
"Yes," he smiled. "I know. And I know I haven't made that easy."
She frowned again. "Don't say things like that, Draco."
He rolled his eyes and huffed. "What do you want me to say, Mother? I have not lived up to Father's expectations and I have put you through a lot trying to protect me. I know you love me. You've proven that. I just don't want to put you through all this."
She sighed heavily. "Draco," she said, "I am your mother. It's my job to go through this. You won't understand how I feel until you have your own child." And then her face faltered a bit and she glanced at Harry, but quickly back to Draco.
Draco winced but nodded. "Can you let me have some time to talk with Harry?" he asked her.
She stared at him for a few moments. "If I had my way I wouldn't leave this room," she said, but stood up, kissing Draco's forehead as she always did. She cupped his cheek before turning to leave, but obviously didn't want to.
Draco sighed and shook his head. "I think she wants to lock me in my room until I am thirty, or even sixty."
"She loves you," Harry said quietly.
"Yes," Draco said in an equally quiet voice. After a minute he sighed again. "Do I need to ask a Healer or can you tell me how badly damaged I am?"
Harry winced and bit his lip. "You want to know?"
"Shouldn't I?" Draco countered.
Harry looked at him, meeting his eyes briefly. "Your arms were broken," he said quietly. "In several places. You had cracked ribs and cuts and bruises everywhere, but they healed most of those. There are a few that are still mending. There was," and here he had to take a deep breath, "tearing, but that's mending as well." His hands were clenched when he finished.
"They gave me Blood-Replenishing Potions," Draco said. "That sounds like a lot of blood loss, probably ... internal bleeding."
"It wasn't good," Harry affirmed. He didn't mention that the Healers told him that Draco had nearly died.
Draco nodded, shivering slightly at the memory. "Who knows?"
"Aurors were sent back to ... where they had us," Harry said. "I don't know if there's been anything in the paper. I let Ron and Hermione know so that they wouldn't hear it somewhere else and panic about me, and the Weasleys know from Mr Weasley."
"Who knows they ...." Draco closed his eyes, taking a breath to keep from getting sick. "Who knows they raped me?"
Harry clenched his teeth. "I didn't tell that," he whispered. "But your mother heard everything the Healers said."
Draco grimaced, shaking his head. He didn't understand why his heart sped up. He clenched his hands into fists.
Harry closed his eyes. He didn't know what to say to Draco and it was driving him mad.
It took Draco another minute to get himself calmed down enough to speak. "Maybe I should rest again," he finally said, not looking at Harry.
"Okay," Harry whispered.
Draco closed his eyes but didn't fall asleep. Part of him felt he should tell Harry to leave, go home and get some sleep. But the thought of being without Harry made him near sick again. After a minute, he opened his eyes to see what Harry was doing.
He wasn't doing anything, only sitting and staring at a point a little above the floor.
"Is there someplace you can lie down?" Draco asked.
"I don't want to sleep," Harry answered. He didn't say, "without you."
"You need to sleep, Harry," Draco said, voice softening. "You look terrible."
Harry winced again. "I can't. I tried to," he lied.
Draco stared at Harry. "You are exhausted. If I have to take the bloody potions, you have to rest."
Harry looked up and into Draco's face. "I -" he began, biting his lip again. "I'm afraid to," he admitted in a whisper. "I don't want to sleep unless ... unless I can hold onto you."
Harry Potter, who had defeated Voldemort and had recently defeated two more Death Eaters, looked like a small boy when he said that. Draco smiled softly at him. It was like seeing that little boy in the robe shop again. Something hard loosened inside him. "Help me move over," he said in a near whisper.
Harry frowned, shaking his head quickly. "Draco, no – I – I don't want to hurt you."
"I think we are both thin enough to fit," Draco said and then winced as he tried to scoot over on his own.
Harry made a quiet huffing noise, reaching to help. Once Draco was situated, he stood staring at the small empty space in the bed, still frowning.
"Spell damage can take a long time to heal, Harry," Draco said. "You can't stay awake that long." He patted the bed beside him.
Harry made a bit of a strange face at that and then climbed onto the bed, trying not to jostle Draco too much. As much as he didn't want to risk hurting him, Harry already felt a little better.
Draco couldn't even turn onto his side, so he reached a hand and laid it on Harry's arm. "That's better," he said, not sure who he was soothing.
"Yes," Harry whispered, staring at Draco. He moved his hand very slightly and grasped the material of the hospital gown Draco was wearing.
"Can you sleep now?" Draco asked, fingers caressing Harry's arm through the cloth of his sleeve.
"I guess we'll see," Harry answered, fingers tightening.
Draco lay staring up at the ceiling, his hand still holding Harry's arm as his eyes started to droop. "Right beside you," he murmured just before he fell asleep again.
Even though Harry was exhausted, he lay awake after Draco. At least a few minutes passed before his eyes began to droop as well, and this time, he allowed it. Feeling Draco's hand on his arm and holding onto him with his own hand helped him to finally fall asleep as well.