A Terrible Temptation

A/N - I didn\'t say that there wouldn\'t be lemons, merely that they would be dessert, not the main course. :) Next chapter is looking pretty lemon-y, but don\'t quote me, cause evertime I sit down to this story, the characters dictate to me, rather than the other way around. I think to myself \"Self, this chapter we will do the final battle and be done with it\" three bl@#dy chapter later...:P
Thanks to Kate for beta-ing this ear-lie in the morning so I could post it. Love ya babe!

Thanks also to my reveiwers whose insightful comments (and violent tendencies - yipe) keep me very focused on writing. :)


Chapter 40 – Free at Last

Hermione watched the last of the students as they packed to leave Hogwarts and hugged Lavender one more time. Lavender had gotten a job with a cosmetics manufacturer based on her N.E.W.T.s in Potions and a letter of recommendation from Severus. The first one he had ever written and he swore it was blackmail, though he had smirked when he said it.

Ron was watching Lavender from the corner while pretending that he wasn’t. He and Harry had been accepted into Auror training with the fastest response time on their applications in Wizarding history.

Ron and Lavender had retained their friendship, but anything else between them was going to be a long time coming, if ever. Lavender had changed during that battle; she had grown fierce and independent, unwilling to risk caring for people since she had lost her best friend, Parvati, and so many others. She would have to be won but Ron looked willing to fight that battle.

Hermione wasn’t the only one remaining behind. Neville was apprenticing to Madam Sprout and Ginny to Madam Pomfrey. Severus had groaned a whe when he realized that he was not escaping Neville’s presence for at least another four years, but after the battle Neville had changed as well; he had laughed at Severus’s expression.

“Sorry, sir, but you can’t fool me now. Harry told me it was you tutoring me in Potions.” Severus had frowned mightily at Harry, but said nothing in reply, merely swept away in a foul temper, muttering dire threats to all and sundry. None of them paid him any mind, though some of the first years ran screaming which did seem to cheer him up.

The worst blow to Severus’ disguise came on the steps of the Ministry as Harry told the world the story of Voldemort’s defeat, telling of the battle and how he held the Dark Wizard at bay by locking their wands together while the Order of the Phoenix lobbed spells, hexes and curses at him and then he dropped his bombshell, with a tiny smile.

“But through it all, the sacrifices of one man made our victory possible. We only were able to know what we would be up against because of the tireless work of our most valuable member, Severus Snape. His intelligence gathering, completed in secret for years in the face of pain, humtiontion and isolation, was nothing less that heroic and extraordinary.”

Harry’s public declaration had stunned the Wizarding world and Severus had become an overnight celebrity on par with the-boy-who-lived, something he was still telling anyone who would listen that he was going to kill Potter for doing.

The stunned Slytherins had been gaping at him as he had tried to hide behind Dumbledore on the steps of the Ministry and then, as the understanding sunk in, they had broken into spontaneous cheers and shouts, stamping and chanting his name. The crowd had gone wild as comprehension spread through them and even former students who had despised the Potions Master had cheered as they finally got it.
The tiny shy smile, the one she had first seen on Harry’s face, had peeped out briefly. The hungry look seemed at last satisfied as he finally received the recognition he had craved for so long.

The awards ceremony was the final closure on the events of the war for Hermione. She held her brightly shining piece of metal on its pretty ribbon and thought about Susan Bones and all the other empty places where her schoolmates had once been. Not one teacher had died on tattlattlefield but almost half the sixth and seventh year classes had perished. A shiny piece of metal seemed rather paltry recompense.

“Order of Merlin – First class.” Harry read her medal, which matched his own. “When I saw all those decorations on Dumbledore’s cin fin first year, I thought it was wonderful. Now I look at his medals and awards and wonder how many he had to watch die to get them.” His voice was solemn and adult; he had grown all the way up in one day.

“Me too. I miss them.” Tears threatened to spill and Harry wrapped his arms around her.

“Ginny broke it off.” His voice was weary and resigned. “She said that she couldn’t marry an Auror; it was too much for her.” Hermione nodded against his shoulder, she had seen it coming for a while now.

“I am going home for a month then I will be back at Hogwarts. If you need me you know where I am.” She replied but he shook his head.

“You and Snape need some time together, to figure out where to go next. I have Ron, Luna, Neville, a couple of Hufflepuffs and all sorts of other people who would be happy to walk me home from the pub. It’s time you took care of yourself and him. He needs you more than I do.” Hermione looked up at Harry and felt a welling of pride in her heart.

“You know that you will always be my best friend, Harry.” She replied not knowing how to express everything that she was feeling right then.

“Same with me.” He answered and she knew that he understood.

Severus was pacinghis his rooms while Ron lounged in his chair and paged through a book for his Auror training course. Panic was eating away at his heart as he thought of Hermione away from the many wards and defenses of Hogwarts.

“She’ll be fine.” Ron repeated with a bored tone. “I cannot believe I have to memorize this many laws, there are thousands of them.” Ron flipped a page and squinted. “It’s illegal to fly a broom in a pub. Who would want to?” His voice was full of disbelief and Severus knew the young man was trying to distract him from his concerns. \"It is against the law to breed pigs with dragons, um, okay.\"

“She is defenseless out there in the Muggle world; there are still Death Eaters on the loose.” Severus continued his pacing.

“Hermione? Defenseless?” Ron looked at him in shock and then broke into laughter. “I pity any Death Eater that attacks her!” He choked out between gasps for breath. “Did you see what she did to the Weasel?” Severus paused and looked at his young friend in interest. Hermione never mentioned anything about young Malfoy.

“No, I did not.” Severus dropped into the opposing chair and arranged himself in it, prepared to hear an interesting tale. Ron Weasley grinned at him, his auburn hair cut short and his face still dirty despite cleansing charms.

“Well, according to witnesses Malfoy tried to put her under Imperious and she smacked him down like he was a first year. Later, when he was being dragged away to Azkaban, he tried to break away from the Aurors and Hermione hit him over the head with a rock and knocked him unconscious. He woke up in Azkaban infirmary just in time for his sentencing.” Severus allowed a tiny smile to turn up his lips as he imagined his dainty angel clubbing the Malfoy spawn with a rock. It was a lovely image; he was sorry that he had missed it.

“Don’t suppose Creevey caught that?” Severus mused hopefully, but Ron shook his head.

“Colin was using his camera as a mace by the end of the battle, swinging it over his head and screaming.” At Severus’reduredulous expression, Ron gave a tiny shrug. “His wand was broken about four hours into it and he had to ’improvise’ was how he put it.”

“That is why Voldemort could never win. “ Severus retorted with a feeling of fierce satisfaction. “You’d never seMalfMalfoy thinking on his feet like that. Much as it hurts me to say it, purebloods are just not as inventive as the Muggleborns and half-bloods.” Ron’s look of shock made Severus chuckle.

“You sound like my dad.” Ron made a face and Severus let out a sharp bark of laughter.

“Your father is a much wiser man than you give him credit for.” Severus jabbed a forefinger at Ron emphatically. “Arthur will be a damn good Minister of Magic.” Ron snorted and leaned back in his chair, thok lok lying forgotten in his lap.

“Who would have imagined it? My father is Minister, Malfoyior ior and junior are rotting in Azkaban and Percy is demoted to janitor.” Ron’s smile was dreamy and pleased. Severus brought him up short.

“And all it cost were a thousand or so lives.” He dropped his voice to a whisper and played the tones out, watching as Ron shivered at the sound. An arched eyebrow and the serious young man returned, driving out the vindicated schoolboy.

“I would trade in every honor for Padma and Parvati and all the others, you know that.” Ron’s face was sad, full of regrets and lost hopes.

“It is a bargain no one ever asks us to make, sadly. There are several people I would have happily traded my life for, but no demon or angel has ever offered me the option. I find it better to protect them all before the fact rather than mourn them after.” Severus gestured to the book in Ron’s lap and the redhead looked at it with a sigh.

“Yes, sir.” His eyes were gentle, but his tone was a direct mimicry of his classroom demeanor, weary and annoyed. Severus repressed a smile but knew that Ron had sensed it. He pushed himself from the chair and resumed pacing. He was unsure that he would be able to relax at all until Hermione was back safe and sound.

Hermione wondered if there was a spell to make your parents recognize that you were now an adult. Were you always one step away from dirty nappies with them? Sitting across the table from the Doctors Granger, Hermione vacillated between eight and eighty. On the one hand, her parents could reduce her to child status with a glance and cleared throat. On the other hand, Hermione had been to war. Her parents were still in many ways innocents in her eyes; neither of them had had to kill someone or watch them die on a battlefield.

Watching Grandma Rochester pass away at ninety in the hospital where the only indicator of statstate versus another had been the beeping of the machines was so far removed from watching a sixteen year old boy impaled on the spear of a rampaging giant that it seemed another world entirely.

Hermione could see Thestrals now and wished she could go back and undo it all, make them invisible again. As beautiful as they were, she wished she could un-see all that she had seen and yet conversely she felt as though she had stood witness to her friends’ honorable deaths.
“What are you thinking about, Hermione?” Her mother asked her. “Your eyes seem so sad.” Looking at her mother she knew that there was no point of reference she could find to express her feelings.

“My friends died in front of my eyes on a battlefield, Mother, I think I am entitled to be a little sad.” There was a snarky tone to her words that she knew was pure Severus; he had seeped into her through some sort of emotional osmosis -- they had given each other parts of themselves. Her parents looked taken aback by her words. They had heard the speeches, seen the medals, but did not seem to connect the heroine on the podium with their little girl.

“You are right dear. I was thinking maybe Dr. Brandt might be helpful if you need someone to talk to.” Her father suggested carefully. Hermione smiled at him sadly.

“I wish I could Dad, but he’s a Muggle. I could tell him what happened, but then I’d have to Obliviate him; not very useful for long term therapy.” The wry sarcasm she had developed to deal with Severus’ emotional outbursts came in handy here.

She was still daunted by the intense antherther frightening relationship she had begun with Severus. He was her intellectual equal which was refreshing to her, but he was so far ahead of her in experience that she often felt very young and out of her depth around him.

She chewed her lip and wondered if she had it ir tor to do this thing. The memory of his kiss before she had left the school for her vacation invaded her mind; the memory alone was like a finger touching her in secret places. She was aroused and excited by the way his eyes had looked, by the husky tone of his voice and the sensuous touch of his hand on her face.

She might be frightened by the gap between them, but she could not forget him either. Harry was right, he needed her, but she also needed him. She never felt as safe anywhere else as she did in his arms. She never felt as “seen” as she did when he was with her, as though every thought in her mind was vitally important. He paid attention, not just to her hair or noticing a new dress, but he paid attention to her moods, her thoughts, her likes and dislikes.

“Wool gathering?” she lo int into her mother’s eyes and ed. ed. She didn’t know it, but the smile Hermione gave to the other woman was not the smile of a child, but of a woman grown, a woman full of secrets. Her mother was looking at her and recognized a passage, a moment that had come and gone and Hermione was oblivious to it. She was thinking of a man and a future; her mother was saying good-bye to a child and a past.

“Just thinking, Mum, just thinking.” Her mother watched her with wistful eyes, as Hermione gazed out the kitchen window, her mother trying not to regret her choices.

“They grow up so fast.” Hermione heard her mother’s words but didn’t put the pieces together until much later; all she could think about was those who would never grow any older. Her dead classmates would be teenagers forever in her mind.