Unravel

The flutter was only momentary. She read it, scrutinized it, and re-read it again. A total of nine words and she feels like throwing something heavy, or sharp, anything to make an impact to reflect how incredibly pissed off and confused she was. Bile was beginning to travel up her throat.


“What am I doing to him!? To him!” Hermione screeched out in frustration. He hadn’t spoken to her in two months and now this. He was insane, he had to be. Insanity was the only reasonable thing that would surface in her mind. Then again, it could be a curse… How did he ever even think he could do this to a person? Oh sure, take a girl’s virginity then send a letter two months later asking complete ridiculousness!


Hermione finally took a deep breath and sat down on her bed. Ok, lets be logical about this. He was thinking of her. That was a given, why else would he send it. It was so harsh because well, she doubted the damn boy was able to be anything else but. The weeks leading up to when they were leaving for winter vacation had been nerve-wrecking. He had been very civil, which is not what she wanted at all. The nights over break began to feel lonelier and lonelier. How was it that she missed him back? And now this letter?


Well she had to say something back didn’t she?


*~*~*~*


Hogwarts resumed as normal the following week Hermione received her letter, if it could even be called a letter. Usually she would be dreading returning to the room that she shared with the ferret, but this time…she almost felt nervous. What would he say to her, how would he react to what she said back to him? That last week felt like torture. Why wasn’t he responding? Why would he respond? Maybe he was just waiting to actually speak to her in person. She had never in all her young life felt like such a bloody girl. Memories of how he treated her for that one night distressed her. It wasn’t him though.

Logic was always the way situations should be dealt with. So she decided that games were ridiculous and if anything was to come of this she should be honest with everyone, say how she really feels. Saying something and then following through with it though was always harder than intended. There were of course the oh-so-obvious feelings that were over whelming her for the damn Slytherin, but there were also two very important people that the news had to be broken to also. Well she guessed she didn’t really have to tell them anything unless something was going on, which at the moment…what the hell was going on?

Infatuation was what she most likely thought was controlling her being. It was only reasonable to think that when something so important is taken from a young woman that the person who took it would never leave her mind. Right? Right.


***

Hermione Granger’s beauty wasn’t the normal every day kind of beauty that a man sees walking down the street. Her beauty isn’t clawed into her surface screaming at everyone to look at it, it was quiet. All the boys at Hogwarts were just now beginning to realize this. Beyond the bossy Miss Perfect there was a gorgeous young woman that every guy would be happy to marry…if you liked Mudbloods.


Draco couldn’t keep his eyes away from Granger for more than a second. She just had to be a overflowing with dirty blood, she just had to be friends with two sodding wankers, she just had to almost die in his arms, and she just had to be everything a Malfoy was forbidden to ingest. Damnit! Draco did not want to have feelings for this fucking broad, he couldn’t, and most of all he wasn’t allowed.


Draco,

I don’t understand what you’re going on about, doing to you? What is it that you are doing to me? I can’t stop thinking about you, you’re haunting me Malfoy. The memories of the night we spent together won’t leave me at any cost. And why has it taken you so long to talk to me? You said so many wonderful things that night Draco, were none of them true? Was it all a ploy to sleep with me? I won’t believe that. You were too gentle and too kind to me for it all to have been a game. I can believe though that it was just a “of the moment” thing, but then why this letter? I need answers Draco and I’m kindly asking for them when I see you face to face.


Hermione


The words of her reply kept running through his mind involuntarily. Fucking letter. He quickly made his way back to his room to get ready for his rounds. Dinner was ending noisily and he wanted to get in front of the rush. Draco did not dare get caught glancing at the Gryffindor table; he would only meet Granger’s questioning eyes. She had been giving him the same look since they had returned and Draco had failed to acknowledge that he and his fellow Head had exchanged letters of personal matter.


He would continue to act like the entire thing was erased from his memory.


“I need answers Draco and I’m kindly asking for them when I see you face to face. Hermione…how fucking sweet.”

Lucius’s wand was at Draco’s chest in a blink and the over bearing look of complete fear would not hide from the younger blonde’s face. The one thing he never wanted to happen was actually happening. Lucius has found out about his and Granger’s rendezvous. Draco had read the letter thousands of times since he received it that day and he was just careless enough to leave it out for anyone to stumble across it. Anyone that day just happened to be Lucius.


Father and son stared into each other’s eyes, one wickedly contemplating, the other trying to tame his trepidation. “Give me one reason not to kill you for tainting the Malfoy blood with grime.”


“Father…” Nothing else would come out because Draco was at a complete loss for words. This was never supposed to happen; he was never supposed to know.


He blamed himself mostly for being so careless and letting a Mudblood creep under his skin.


How were there any lingering feelings left at all? Most of them were pushed out violently by Draco himself and the rest, he thought, had been beaten and cursed out of him, but by the constant mind wandering leading to the pissy Gryffindor, Draco assumed he just might be wrong.


***


He walked out early per usual. His steely gaze was kept straight ahead and nothing broke him from it, not even an annoying hand tug from Pansy Parkinson. Hermione hadn’t had one single interaction with him for the three days they had been back at school. She was still determined for answers and actually made herself believe that her infatuation had died and the only reason she still pursued the issue was because she has never not followed through on something. She said she wanted answers so that was what she was going to get.


A hand was waving in front of her face hectically. “Hermione! Oi! Are you even listening? I said that I only dropped the quaffle once today at practice!” Ron was practically exasperated that she didn’t hear his amazing tale of how he sent one bludger so far the Forbidden Forrest consumed it.


“Sorry Ron I was just thinking…” She replied still a little perplexed.


“What’s new?” He laughed as Harry joined in, both of them letting their insensitivity get the best of them today and not notice how zoned out Hermione looked.


“I’m going to head back to my room and get my Runes essay done and start on that new Potions assignment, I suggest you two do the same,” She told them sternly while beginning to gather her things.


She looked over at her two best friends while they looked back depressed. “Why’d you have to remind us of that?” Harry groaned.


“Well it won’t do it on its own.” She nearly snapped and immediately felt bad. They had done nothing. A look of question planted itself on both their faces, asking what was wrong.

Hermione sighed, “I’m sorry, N.E.W.T.S. are just beginning to get the best of me.” Her story was likely so leaving had become easier.


***


Her collision in the portrait hole with Malfoy had left her on her hind quarters in the middle of the hall with her books and quills scattered about. She looked up at him eagerly, surprised he was really there. He started to pick up her books as she gazed in astonishment, but then she began to pick up everything also.


“Why won’t you look at me?” She asked as she still stuffed her bag with everything that had escaped.

He hastily pushed her books back into her arms and got up, still no words leaving his mouth. The dishelved brunette thought maybe if she looked at him harder a laser beam might come out and make him look back at her, but it didn’t and he didn’t. “I want to know what is going on, why you sent me that letter and why you still haven’t spoken to me.”


Why? Draco didn’t want to turn his gaze on her; he didn’t want to see any beauty in her. Too late. She stood up, this time her bag fully stuffed with all her belongings, but her eyes beaming on him. She got a hair cut over break, not much, just a few inches or so.


He was visibly shaking his head at something inside it. “No what?” Her voice echoed in the barren hall.


“No to everything!” He burst. “No to you and us and the memory of what happened! You’re just a Mudblood Granger!”


This statement would have been brushed off easily if the memory of what happened really wasn’t true. Except for it was and so was everything he said to her that night. So it burnt her. He was scorching her by calling her that word again


Her entire appearance changed dramatically at the drop of that word. It wasn’t foreign anymore to him. His father made sure to pound it back into his skull so saying it came out easy again. “Mudblood! Yes Granger that is what you are. And me? I am a Pureblood. We don’t mix and we won’t ever.”


She heard how his voice had changed from raging angry to strained. He was struggling with what was happening. She could see it peeling off of him as blinding as night and day. It made her pain subside a little bit. He had a bleeding soul that was frail to the touch. “What has happened?” She asked sadly.


Am I really that transparent? Draco thought. She can see right through me.


Hermione didn’t wait for his answer; she stood tall on her toes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He didn’t move away. The two diverse students stood with their faces mere inches apart, both of their eyes closed, fighting all the demons that were rupturing their lives.


He felt as if he needed her again. Draco pushed her back though the portrait hole and into the small alcove directly inside. He was invading her mouth and she was absolutely letting him. His teeth scraped over her bottom lip as her tongue darted out to lap at him. They were rhythmically consumed in seconds, both of their bodies beginning to tie around the other.

His head had become foggy and his mind was no longer able to focus on anything else other than her warm sweet skin. His finger tips grazed over the bottom hem of her panties and felt a familiar and comfortable warmth. A small groan left her lips and he felt the breath of it on his ear. Her small frame had encased him completely and stirred up an animal in the depth of him.

The faint smile on Hermione’s lips grew wider when she heard the soft groan he emitted as she nibbled his ear. His strong arms squeezed her tighter, lifted her higher off the ground. Her body quivered involuntarily beneath him when his teeth grazed over and then nipped at her collar bone. All she could feel then was the waterfall of kisses he placed down her chest.


“Fuck!” He screamed and leapt back a foot. “Fuck Hermione! I can’t just leave me alone!”
His sudden outburst at the very least stopped her heart. She felt paralyzed in place as he stalked out of sight. Mostly she missed the sudden loss of his tenderness from his strong, hard body.


Her state of confusion didn’t leave her until she was lying in her bed thinking it through. What was he trying to fight so hard? What was happening to him that nobody else was able to see? She really thought that she had figured the Slytherin Prince Draco Malfoy out, but every minute of every day was revealing how much of a tortured heart he really had, withered as it may be.


***


A black owl waited on Draco’s night stand when he returned from rounds later that night. It didn’t hold a letter, a reminder from his father no doubt. A chill ran the length of his body. He would not undergo another punishment.


Kissing her was one of the biggest mistakes he could have done. Now he had to use twice as much will power to push her out of existence.


***


Draco didn't have time to deal with her petty fucking "prove to me that you really care" bullshit. It had become an unpleasant reoccurrence between them to argue horrifically if they ever happened to come across one another alone. He hated the contact because every time she was near a primal being raged inside of him to embrace her roughly and say naughty things into her ear. He needed to have control, and she made him lose it. His game was starting in an hour and his team was waiting in the dressing rooms, so that moment was dreadful timing. And to be frank he wasn't sure what he felt at that moment. His father was right to make him crash back into reality. She wasn't good enough for him, she wasn't healthy for him.


So then why were her eyes telling him otherwise?


He had changed, well actually he hadn't changed at all. He just reverted back to the vile puppet he was before. Hermione understood it all now. She knew that Lucius had been released from his pretty little stone cage, it was all over the papers. Four total. Four of those murdering, plundering, rapist death-eaters were released back into the public where they were free to continue on with the work for their dark lord. He got to him. Lucius had found his way back into Draco's head and left his shitting imprint burned onto the inside of his skull.


"Ok, I get it." He heard her voice say quietly as he rummaged for his quidditch pads. It was a defeated sound, one that he had heard often from girls. It's that tone that they get when they realize that they can't tame him and that he will never belong to them. For some bloody reason though, hearing it from her pulled at his heart strings. He didn't dare turn though and look at her. If he did he would get drawn in. He would fall hard back into that fucking whirl pool that is Hermione Granger. Her eyes would cut through his soul and he would probably die from the damn overwhelming feelings that she was pouring over him.


Stupid fucking silly girl. Didn't she get it? He had other things in life that were just more important. They were more important with out questions and she can't understand, she would never understand!


He would never give her the chance to even try.


Hermione let out her deep breath that she had been holding and scolded herself. See, this is exactly the moment and feeling you were trying to avoid you moron of a witch. Of course Hermione never knew that this was going to be that exact moment, she never let herself think freely about Draco Malfoy enough to realize it. But it's done now. Whatever it was, or ever tried to be between the two of them was done. She understood that. She can just pick up her bloodied beaten heart from the ground and walk away with her head held high.


The task seemed harder to accomplish than it did when it was rubbing on her mind. She believed that she didn't really manage to pick up the dead mass from the ground and that she also sort of ran away in sobs.


Draco didn’t care that she ran away in heart-breaking tears. He didn't, because he couldn't. She should have never tried to look beyond what she really was to him, absolutely nothing.


Somewhere deep inside the living corpse of Draco he knew that that thought wasn't even close to being true.


Over the next few weeks Draco became obsessive with his father’s orders. How could he be the amazing death eater his father was if he didn’t live up to the Dark Lord’s standards? Following his bidding also took the edge off of thinking about Granger. Maybe if he could hurry his training along and become what everyone wants him to be then maybe he could leave Hogwarts, and leave the haunting eyes of Hermione Granger at the same time.


~*~*~*~


Not even Voldemort could be a large enough distraction to keep Draco at bay. He was visited nightly by blissful dreams of the Gryffindor across the common room. His unconsciousness was a place where he had no control, so it was only logical that be the place she appeared. It was only a matter of time before the animal inside him took it’s moment.


He shoved her into the nearest hidden passage. He figured they were pretty deep into the dungeons, no one would see them there. She screamed for a brief second but it was indeed very brief because his lips were on her and he was biting and sucking like he needed her blood to survive. Draco couldn't take it any more. He couldn't stand to see her with all the other's eyes on her anymore. They were looking at her like he looked at her. He couldn't even count how many times he had hexed a guy in the last week because he saw them drooling over Hermione, or even worse trying to hit on her, those guys ended up in the hospital wing. He sucked her tongue harder as he remembered doing to her before.


Consumed wasn't the exact word Hermione would have used to describe what she was feeling as his hands found the lower hem of her panties and began to travel inward. Who the fuck did he think he was. After all this time now, just out of nowhere tracking her down and aggressively attacking her in the only way that can make her drip.


"Get the fuck away from me you God damn asshole! Who the fuck- what the fuck are you doing!" All her strength in her body flew from her hands and cracked him against the opposite stone wall. "You can't just- not after all this time- FUCK MALFOY!"


Draco clutched the back of his head in agony as the lump began to form immediately. "Bloody fuck Granger!"


She couldn't even fathom what had just happened. Her head was racing and her breath wasn't too far behind. He put her through fucking hell! All those times of trying to get him to notice her and actually see her. And the whole fucking time hating every little square inch of herself because of it. The crying at night, the wishing and hoping...he'll stop invading her mind today...crushing her heart. Maybe today he'll just for a minute step out of her brain and let her resume a normal life. How the fuck did it all happen? When did she fall in love with the fucking Slytherin bastard? It all unraveled so quickly around her. She hated that she wanted him, she hated that she had no control over what was happening to her.


She was fuming and that ranting thing she did started to come back full speed, "Damnit Draco! You can not do this, we can not do this! Haven't you noticed or are you too blind hexing every first and second year in your path to realize that I started dating Cormac?"


She could tell by the shocked expression that no, he did not know that.


"When the fuck did that start!" He roared.


Whoa. Excuse him; did he actually think he had the right to yell at her like that? Hermione looked up at him to stare as if to make sure this was really real. His hands were roping through his hair making it stand out oddly. Was he crumbling? His eyes were raging with a fierce fire as he held her stare. She almost stopped a second to bask in this glory of seeing him unravel, watching him feel actual human emotion, and all of it because of her. Except it wasn't so easy to forget the hell he put her through.


"Do not dare ask questions about what has been happening in my personal life Malfoy."


Draco's head snapped to the sound of his sir name. When did it sound so cold coming from her lips?


Her appearance was no longer that of the prowling lioness. He had lost that part of her that lost control when he was around. He could see she was serious, that she did not urge for him, he was the one now completely out of power.