Just Like Jesse James

And here's where the story starts to pick up. The last two chapters were moving the plot, but mostly exposition. Now we really start to get things moving.
But first, I want to set up a few things. The fic is obviously very AU, but there are some differences not only in the ages and such, but in what transpires, as you can probably guess. It will all be explained later, but from the final task of the Triwizard Tournament and onward, Voldemort's rise to power is very different.
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I awoke the next morning from what was probably the first calm, fitless sleep I'd had in a long time. I was too tired to dream, finally doing something other than bar-hopping. It was actually sort of relieving, finding a happy alternative to either nightmares or being unable to sleep. It felt good.

After going about my morning routine, something I'd neglected for the better part of a year now, I got dressed and went down to the common room. Not having to scurry to the breakfast table, I was able to sleep in until shortly after the Ravenclaws had gone downstairs. Like yesterday, Luna sat on the couch, still reading Dante's Inferno.

I sat down on the same chair.

"Why aren't you eating downstairs?" she asked, putting down her book and looking at me with concern. "Is something wrong?"

"I thought I would keep you company. I know from experience that the one thing worse than not getting any quiet time is getting too much."

"But what about eating? Like you said, breakfast is important."

"I've taken care of that."

Right on cue, Dobby fumbled into the common room, nearly dropping the food as he stumbled over a seemingly cruelly-placed stair that even I could barely see. "Dobby has brought Harry Potter and his friend some breakfast."

"Harry, what's going on?"

"I decided to bring the breakfast to you. You don't go downstairs, but that's no reason why you can't eat. Now you have some food in you, and your time in the common room."

She smiled her sweet, infectious smile at me, almost radiating joyful innocence as she thanked me for arranging it. We began to eat as Dobby scurried back to the kitchen.

"So what's your story?" she said after several very short conversations.

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious why I'm a loner, I'm the school freak. But why have you receded into the darkness?"

"Something happened while I was a student here. I don't want to talk about it much, but it really messed me up. It's why I left the magical world for eight years, and it's why I was in that bar that night. I found an escape in a bottle and a meaningless shag."

"But aren't you worried about gorms?"

"What?"

"Gorms. They're like crabs, but vampiric. My dad's written a piece on them for the next Quibbler."

"No, I can't say I ever worried about gorms." Even when I was at my lowest, thinking about how truly pathetic I had become, it took just one of her quirks to make me forget all about it.

We discussed gorms a little while longer before the rest of Ravenclaw came back. First period was with the fourth year Ravenclaws, so Luna and I walked together to the classroom.
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"Class dismissed," I said, much to the joy of the fourth years who scurried off only halfway through what they expected to be a full class. They were off until after lunch, as was I, so except for Luna, they all ran off.

She pulled her chair near my desk and again we talked, asking me a few questions of her own that her father wanted to know. I wilfully answered them, hoping it would avoid any strange pieces about me running, and after our interview of sorts, we again began to talk.

Then, spontaneously, in mid-sentence, no less, she stopped talking about some of the muggle books we read and asked, "Do you think I would be better off if I acted normal?"

I merely stared at her in awe, almost offended she would ask such a question. Her quirkiness is what drew me to her, what made her so fascinating. For anybody to suggest it was a negative quality, let alone Luna herself, was preposterous.

"Absolutely not."

"But you were right this morning, when you said too much alone time is a bad thing. I spend my summers locked in my room reading, just like I do at school. I go to clubs with some girls sometimes, but I always feel left out. Even then, I lose myself in the music and dance alone while they chat and flirt with guys. I feel left out even when I'm with supposed friends."

"They just don't understand you, Luna. They see your cork necklace and your radish earrings, and they don't get it."

"Exactly. Maybe it would be better if they didn't have anything to try to understand, if I was Luna Lovegood instead of Looney Lovegood."

"No. You're perfect the way you are, Luna, never change for anybody. I'm not here because I pity you, I'm here because I went through the same thing. I felt the same isolation, and in you I feel the most comfortable. My good friends as a teenager seem so distant now, but with you I feel right."

"Really?" she asked, her smile intoxicating, her eyes again a strange, bewitching silver as they gleamed with a joy that rarely graced her beautiful face. Again, the feeling swelled inside me, something we'd lost in all our time discussing literature. Again, her wispy allure drew me in as time froze just so that I could admire her as she sat, so glad to hear such kind words, words so different from the insults of her peers. I considered her something leagues beyond the mere friendship she craved from someone, anyone. I'd given her the greatest compliment she could have had.

I sat frozen as Luna moved, leaning over the table to hug me. I thought it was a way to show it was alright, that she cared, that we were kindred souls. Her arms wrapped around me and warmth spread slowly through my body as her very touch was like the coming of dawn. I thought. It made me safe, calm, which made her next action completely unforeseen

She kissed me. It wasn't like that night on the street in London, though. It was a powerful kiss, underlined by deeper understanding of each other. The slowly-spreading warmth became a fierce flame that tore through my body in elated pain. Her lips were sweet, an addictive nectar that made my body surge, fuelling the flame as it burned hotter inside me, my lips radiating the intense heat that so readily tore through me.

I wanted to pull back, wanted to run, but I remained frozen there. I couldn't move. She paralysed me, her venom had me right where she wanted, unable to defend myself, and now she was ready. The predator would claim its prey. I could only stay still, resigned to my fate as her tongue and lips continued to provide me the bittersweet joy I knew I shouldn't have had. It was wrong. She was fourteen, she was my student...she was far too sweet for me to do this to. It would ruin her to even have feelings for me, a womanizing dry drunk with a bad past and emotional issues. I had to end this.

I tore myself away from her and, without a word, ran from the room. I ran to the one place I knew I would be alone, the one place nobody else knew about. I ran there, slamming open and shut the door as I threw myself violently against the closed bathroom stall, my head repeatedly banging against it as I tried to wake myself up. It had to be a dream, it had to be, like the one I had on the bus. I couldn't have kissed her. Her sweet lips were a deadly drug, and I'd had my second hit. I was addicted, as wrong as it was. I couldn't have kissed it. It wasn't real.

"Who's making all that noise?" I heard a soft voice whimper, and finally my head remained still against the stall, tears running down my eyes and dripping onto the floor of the long-abandoned bathroom.

"Who are you?" asked the voice again as I looked to see a translucent young girl.

"It's me, Myrtle."

"Harry?" Her face had as much shock as Dobby's did. "I never thought you'd come back to visit me, how have-why are you crying?"

I punched the stall door as I turned around and slid down until I sat there, Myrtle sitting next to me. I explained everything, what happened to me after I left Hogwarts, when I first met Luna, and now the horrible act I'd just committed.

"What are you going to do?" she asked after I poured out my soul to the ghost.

"I don't know," I sobbed, my head buried in my hands. "I can't let her in, I can't hurt her. But I can't let her go, it would kill her just as much. Oh, but even being around her is too much now. I-I don't know what I can do."

"Does she make you happy?" she asked.

"Yes. When I'm around her, my dark world is suddenly full of light. Her every quirk makes me happy, but I can't be with her."

"Yes you can, Harry. If she brings you this much joy, then you won't hurt her. Let her in, let her help you. Look at what doing it alone has gotten you. You have a chance, Harry, don't waste it."

"I always dreamed that a girl would come along that would brighten my world, but I never thought she would be fourteen. I don't know if I can handle this."

"She sounds like a smart girl, she can handle it. Just trust yourself, Harry."

"Alright, I'll try." I turned to the girl. "Thanks, Myrtle." I wrapped my around the ghost as well as one could and hugged her.

"Just come by to visit some times. I haven't had a visitor in years."

"Will do."
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I scoured Hogwarts in search of Luna. She wasn't in the common room, nor the dormitory, nor even my classroom. I checked the library, the infirmary, and I even asked Peeves if he had seen her, which prompted him to run off laughing. When I resisted my feelings, she was everywhere, circumstance putting me with her at every corner. Now that I was willing to give in, she vanished. Had I already lost my chance? Was Luna gone for good?

I had to find her. I needed her, needed her lips against mine. I was addicted now, there was no hiding from that, and I could not go another moment without her radiant smile or her intoxicating scent, her hair glistening angelically in the sunlight, the feeling she exuded almost naturally. Every aspect of her existence was the focus of my obsession. She was perfect in every way, an angel in the body of a teenage girl. We were meant for each other, her sense of humour and quirks would be the antidote to my melancholy that I needed, and the first step was a kiss. I needed that kiss.

Faster I moved through the castle in search of her, but nowhere could I find her. She was off until lunch and it certainly wasn't time for that yet, but in the meantime she seemed to have totally disappeared, gone far away from me, probably crying from a broken heart. This was it. I may as well tell Dumbledore I couldn't act as head of house. It was too much stress for me, I was still trying to get back into this strange magical world. I'd teach and pay her no mind. It would have to suffice.

I went back up to the Ravenclaw tower, totally defeated, passing through the bustling common room without another glance. I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to go back to my room. I opened the door and sighed, but I found in my room what I'd been searching for.

In the most attractive pose imaginable, Luna lay on my bed, her long hair running so beautifully around her body, glistening like a pool of gold in the sunlight that shone through.

"Harry, we need to talk," she sat up, her hair moving as though it were a liquid, moving in one piece so gracefully as she sat. "Even if you don't have the same feelings, I-"

"Don't speak," was all I said as I moved briskly toward the bed, falling on top of her as our lips met. I would gladly be addicted to her kiss; it was much better than alcohol.
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Next chapter, it starts to get a bit steamier.