Help me Ron

Ron was awakened by a scream. He sat straight up in bed and looked at the clock. Who was screaming in his house at three in the morning? The he remembered Pansy. Pansy! Just as he thrust the blanket from his body his door opened and she stood in the frame.



She was in her cropped pajama pants and a worn tshirt. Her eyes were puffy and filled with fear. Ron held open his arms and she ran over and jumped on the bed beside him, huddling against him and cried into his chest.



He held her shoulders and ran his hand along her hair, gently rocking her. He heard his door creak and looked up to see his father slowly closing the door. He gave his son an nod and left them alone.



“Shhh, now Pansy, I’m here.” He whispered to her. Her grip was tight on his arms and she cried and cried. He was sure the whole house heard but he let her cry, just holding her.



It was some time before Pansy fell asleep. Ron gathered her up in his arms and walked her to her room, easing her gently into bed and covering her up. He sat on the edge looking down at her. She looked so calm and peaceful as she slept, it was hard to believe such horrible thought were going on in her head.



“Ronald?” He looked up at his fathers whisper from the door and slowly left the room, closing the door without a sound. “Did she say anything?”



“No, she just cried.” He said. “Dad, I don’t if I cant help her?” He said. Aside from Harry and Hermione, his father was the one person he was unashamed of sharing his fears with.



“You did help, Ron. You were there when she needed you. She came looking for you and found you. All she wanted was to be with the one she knew she was safe with. You made the bay guy go away Ron, and you made the dreams end tonight.” He said. “That’s all you need to do Ron. You did it tonight for her.”



His father gave his shoulder a squeeze then went to bed. Ron was awake for a long time. He valued his fathers opinion but wasn’t sure if it was right this time. It seemed to work, Pansy had calmed down, but he would have liked to give her something to make her feel better. He had to meet with that mental healer, suddenly an owl didn’t seem fast enough.







Ron left the burrow first thing in the morning, before anyone was awake. His mother was the only one about, having trained herself to wake up and fix breakfast. It was a habit she never got out of. She gave him a muffin before he left.



He had the address for the mental healer from the Parkinsons. They thought it would be wise to give his parents the information considering the fact that their daughter was in their care.



He approached the office and quickly went up to the desk. “Excuse me, is Healer Jessimen available?” He asked.



“Do you have an appointment?” The young witch asked.



“No, but it concerned a patient of hers. There was an episode last night and it’s important I get some information right away.” He said firmly.



“Have a seat then.” She gestured to the chairs available. “I’ll see what I can do.” She vanished behind a door while Ron sat, waiting.



“Mr. Weasley I presume?” He stood and looked at an older witch. She must be about twenty years older then his mother.



“Yes. How did you know?” He asked, shacking the hand she offered.



“I’m aware of what Mr. and Mrs. Parkinson decided, please come inside.” He followed her into an office and sat down across from her desk. “You mentioned an episode to my secretary, what type of episode?”



“A nightmare.” Ron told her. “She came running into my room and just cried. She didn’t say anything, she just cried and eventually fell sleep. I carried her back to the room we gave her and put her back in bed.”



“You did just what she needed.” The healer told him.



“It didn’t seem so.” He told her honestly.



“What she needed was to be near the one who made the horrible act stop. Just like you acted during her rape, you made it stop.” She leaned on her desk. “That all she wanted. That’s what she knew you would do.”



“My father said something like that, but I cant keep doing this. I helped her, but eventually she is going to have to make the dreams go away on her own.” He said. “I need to know what to expect when just holding her isn’t enough.”



“That’s a insightful mindset to have, and your right. Eventually she is going to go through several emotions. She’s afraid right now, paranoid to go to certain places and craving a safe place to be.”



“With me?” Ron asked.



“Yes. She knows that since you helped her, you understand why she is afraid more then anyone else does. Her parents want to protect her, but that’s what parents do. Her friends want to comfort her but that’s what friends do. You saw her being raped and you acted to end it. You literally saw what she is afraid of and you understand that she scared it will happen again.”



“And she knows I wont let it happen again.” He said.



“Yes.” She said. “She’ll be depressed, blaming herself for what happened, thinking she was at fault somehow. What if she had given him what he wanted, what if she didn’t go for that walk, what if she predicted what was going to happen.”



“There’s no way she could have controlled what he did.” Ron said.



“And that is what she needs to hear. Tell her plainly and without coddling. She needs a firm voice saying that she isn’t to blame. Rape isn’t about sex, or even desire. It’s about power. He wanted to destroy her and something as invasive as rape, especially in Pansy’s case, because she was a virgin, this can be devastating. She has never been intimate with a man, and therefore unaware of what this is really about. She doesn’t know the difference between sex and rape. He wanted control over her, nothing more.”



Ron carefully took in ever word she said. “What else?” He asked.



“She’ll become angry.” He was told.



“She has a right to be angry.” Ron countered.



“Yes, she certainly does. What you need to help her understand is that there is only one person who deserves that anger and that’s her attacker.”



“You mean she’ll have a go at me?” Ron asked.



“She’ll react to everyone. Her temper will take her over and she will lash out at everyone and everything because nobody will understand her.” The healers voice lowered. “She may even indulge in self pity. She will think of herself as spoiled or thrown away, that no man will want her.”



“I don’t know if I can do this. This sounds like a job for a healer.” Ron said, rubbing his forehead.



“This is information everybody should know. What a woman goes through is complex and shouldn’t be brushed off. Often it is the friends who make a difference to these women more then healers.” She looked at the young mans face. “These are examples of what might occur. She may go through all of none.”



“I see.” Ron was overwhelmed by all of this. He could only pray to Merlin that he could be what she needed.



“Mr. Weasley, feel free to owl at anytime for assistance if you need it. I want to help Pansy too, and believe it or not, having you close at hand is a bigger help to her then you know.”



“I don’t see how.” He said.



“I’m sure you don’t, but just understand that you did help her, and she still needs you to help her. Are you willing to do that?”



“Yes.” He said wondering why she even questioned it.



“Then you are doing what needs to be done.” He left her office a little more aware of what he may be faced with and suddenly felt sorry for Pansy. To have to go through what he saw happen to her and then go through the emotions must take a toll on her. The dreams alone he could see were exhausting. He had a feeling it would take more then the summer for her to deal with her rape, but he wanted to help her, so he would be there every moment.



He returned home and found Pansy and Ginny playing chess. His father was in his shed tinkering around with muggle appliances and his mother was cleaning up in the kitchen.



Ron sat next to Pansy and gave her advice on moves. He had taught Ginny how to play, so it was only fair that he evened the odds.



For the next few days Pansy seemed relaxed at The Burrow. She helped his mother out with meals and tidying here and there. She took walks with Ron sometimes not saying anything for hours, sometimes talking constantly. Her favorite spot was a stretch of cliff near a lake. She liked to sit there for hours just watching the lake.



Ron understood her desire to be there. Many times when he had a fight with one of his brothers he would come here and calm down. It was hard not to feel peace in this spot. Natures tranquility had an effect on the soul. He thought Pansy might be dealing with her rape, he would soon find out she was far from alright.





Four days after Ron talked to the mental healer, he woke in the middle of the night. He had an odd feeling and just couldn’t shake it. Still in his pajamas, he left his room. Pansy door was open so it was the first place he went.



Pansy wasn’t in her room. The covers were practically thrown off the bed but her slippers were still beside her bed so he ventured downstairs. “Pansy?” He called, when he got to the common room but there was no response. He check the kitchen but it was empty.



He was about to turn back when he heard a tapping. Moving into the kitchen he noticed the back door was open. He felt a horror in his gut and walked out the door. He had a feeling he knew where she went and walked all the way to the cliffs overlooking the lake.



Just like he thought, there she was, but the closer he got the more scared her became. She was in her pajamas, the same cropped pants and worn shirt she always wore. She was standing right on the edge of the cliff just looking down.



Ron’s heart sped up to dangerous levels, he purposely broke twigs and rustled the growth on the ground to make noise. “Pansy?” He said softly, coming beside her but staying a few feet away. “What are you doing?”



She looked over at him. Her eyes were puffy and she made no effort to wipe away tears. There was a sadness in her eyes that terrified him. His panic tripled and he had to fight to think of what the mental healer had told him. This was the depression she mentioned but she said nothing of suicide. What the hell was he going to do if he failed?



“Pansy, come back with me.” He said softy.



“There’s no point in going back.” She whispered. “I can’t sleep, I see it too much. Every time I close my eyes, he’s there.”



“Pansy, I know it has been hard, and I wont insult you by saying I understand, but please come away from there and we can talk.” He said.



“Talk about what?” She cried. “How he hurt me? How he nearly killed me? How he took from me something precious? He destroyed me Ron.” Fresh tears began to fall.



“He didn’t destroy you Pansy,” he said in a firm voice, “but if you jump he would have succeeded. Rape isn’t about lust or even desire, it’s about power. Pansy when you refused him, he wanted revenge. Plain and simple.” She looked over at him, listening intently. “He wanted to break you and kill your spirit. It you jump off that cliff he will have won. He would have succeeded in what he wanted to do to you. Don’t let him have that power over you. You are stronger then that.” He had no idea what he was saying. The words came out on their own, but Ron knew it was right.



“I don’t know if I can.” She said in a weak voice.



“You can. I’ll help you.” He moved a step closer. To his relief she didn’t back away or move an inch. “I can see how strong you are. I’ll be strong with you.” He moved a step closer. “You don’t have to do it alone.”



“I’m scared,” she said through her tears, “of never having my life back.”



“You never lost your life Pansy,” he moved closer, standing beside her, “it got difficult for awhile, but you never lost it.”



“But he took…..”



“He took nothing. You never gave yourself to anyone. That first time is still yours to give.” He took her hand and immediate her fingers curled around his. He gave her hand a slight tug and she turned letting her body fall against his.



Ron took her in his arms and they collapse on the ground against the tree. He held Pansy as she cried on his shoulder, her body was shacking and she made no effort to hold herself up. Ron felt his heart still pounding at the near tragedy that may have happened. He had a new insight to Pansy’s pain and it made him more then ever promise to help her. After tonight she needed him more then ever.