The Boys Who Lived

Rating: R, we are getting close to lemons, or at least limes, here.

A/N: Another chapter, I am really proud of myself, I can’t seem to stop writing when I have a free moment… and of course it is due to all you wonderful people. I can’t tell you how excited I get when I see I have another review, I get giddy and can’t stop smiling… I’m easy to please! R&R and I hope to keep the chapter updates every couple of days! Enjoy!

***Chapter 4: Gay, Straight or Bi, You’ll Always Be My Godson***

Last night as he slept, he dreamt that Sirius had come to his bedroom and smacked him awake. Sirius’ eyes had been filled with rage and disgust. His godfather had roughly flipped him over in the bed and proceeded to whip him with a wide leather belt, telling him he was a slut, a whore, dirty and disgusting, that no one loved him and he wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love. The pain in the dream had seemed so real, he felt every lash as the belt snapped against his bare skin. He had screamed and cried as a muffled “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” slipping from his mouth over and over.
He had jolted awake, sitting up quickly and crying out, the panic overpowering him. His heart racing, his eyes quickly scanned the room and with a sigh, he had realized it had all been a dream. Sirius hadn’t done those things to him.
Lying back down, he had laid awake for hours after that. He knew his dream had been more influenced by his uncle than Sirius, he knew his godfather would never do to him what he had in the dream. However, he was still worried about how Sirius would respond. He was petrified, the dread of what his godfather would do come morning, filling his mind. Finally, just before dawn, his eyes had become too heavy to keep open, he had drifted back to sleep.
The next morning, Harry awoke with a feeling of dread coursing through his body, knowing sometime today he would get a response.
Sitting up he glanced over to Hedwig’s cage and found her sleeping peacefully, a letter attached to her leg. Now, faced with the fact that in just a moment he would know how his godfather felt, he couldn’t move. The fear of losing Sirius was terrifying but, he knew it needed to be done. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to work up the courage to face his fear. Finally, with a sigh he stood up and walked over to Hedwig.
He swiftly untied the letter from the owl’s leg; he succeeded in doing so without waking the sleeping owl. Taking a deep breath, he opened the letter.

Harry,
Let me first say, I am honored that you chose me as the first person to tell this to. I am grateful for the chance to be able to offer my help in something as profound as this. Second, let me say that I understand exactly how you feel, as I went through this same experience around your age. I know this may surprise you, as the opportunity to tell you has never come up, but I am gay.
I realized at fifteen that I was infinitely more attracted to the male population of Hogwarts than I had ever been with the females. It took me a while to finally be honest with myself, as well as my friends, about how I felt. Your father, in a completely James Potter moment, told me “I don’t care if you like cock, just don’t try and make a play for mine!” After, laughing and telling him that Lily wouldn’t like it very much anyways, I realized I was never more grateful to be able to call your father my best friend than at that moment. From then on, James took every opportunity to get me laid with any, and all, worthy boys within grasp, much to my pleasure!
I would also like to tell you, and I am sure this has been on your mind, that your parents would not have any problem with you being attracted to boys. Lily would have smiled and told you that she was happy as long as you were happy. Your father would have clapped you on the back and told you to just be careful with a wink. They would have loved you no matter who you were with!
Harry, I would also like to tell you that a certain someone by the name of Moony, also follows our predilections as well. You might also be surprised to find out that Moony and I are lovers. When we were younger, we tip toed around each other, never saying how we felt. After the events on that fateful Halloween night, we were unable to for so long. Upon my return, my love for that man couldn’t be helped, so I pounced at the chance to make him mine. And so you have it, the short version of my journey into gayhood, such as it was.
Now that we have that out of the way, I wanted to give you a little advice. In your feelings for this Cedric, I would say to be honest. I know you might find this funny, as I have not been myself in this letter, but when it comes to matters of the heart as Moony says, honesty definitely is the best policy. Many times our hunches about other people are correct. If you think he feels the same way, tell him. You might find a more than pleasant outcome awaits you!
I’ll let you go for now, I am sure you have much to think about. If you need any help or advice, write and I will answer. Also, Moony is even more useful in things sort of things than I am, he is a born teacher after all. I have not told him, as I feel this is yours to tell, but he can be another person you can count on as you make your way in the land of boys who like boys.
One last thing, to make it clear… Gay, Straight or Bi, You will Always be My Godson, never doubt this!

Snuffles


Harry, so engrossed with the letter, he hadn’t realized he had begun to cry until a tear landed on the letter smearing the ink. The relief he felt in the words, made him smile. With it, the heavy weight that had rested on his chest upon writing the letter to Sirius, fell off. His godfather had not thought he was disgusting and filthy but, rather he had told him he was gay as well. So was Moony! And they were together!
Harry grinned broadly, a hearty laugh escaping his mouth. He wasn’t unnatural or a degenerate. He wasn’t filthy or disgusting. He was just a normal boy, like many others, who found boys more attractive than girls.
Upon that thought, he realized he hadn’t written Cedric back yet and began a letter to his crush.

Cedric,
I couldn’t believe you wrote me so soon, not that I wasn’t happy to get the letter but, I would have thought you would be enjoying yourself too much to have the time to write me so soon. However, I am very happy to be wrong.
It is odd, just a few months ago we knew each other and said hello now and then but, now it seems not right to not have you near me daily. I got so used to you being with me, now that you aren’t here, I feel as if I’ve lost something. Does that sound strange? Our friendship has grown so quickly, I feel as if I have known you for a long time. Well, I just wanted you to know I miss you as well.
I am glad you are enjoying your holidays in France and I can’t wait until you return. I was thinking that when you visit, we could do a little shopping in Camden Market in London, which is a muggle equivalent of Diagon Alley. I am going to write to Gringott’s to have them exchange some of my money for muggle money and have them owl it to me.
Well, I had better go, it is early and I have chores to do. Hope to hear back from you soon!

Harry
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The following evening after doing the gardening, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping and moping the kitchen floor, dusting, vacuuming and several other things on his aunt’s long list of chores, Harry walked into the bedroom wearily. He flopped down onto the bed and heaved a sigh. It seemed every summer the list of daily chores got longer and longer, that by the end of the day his body protested the heavy manual labor put upon it. Of course, since the summer after third year, Harry had made a point of mentioning his escaped convicted murderer of a godfather to the Dursleys. That had eliminated the beatings he received from his uncle but, it couldn’t fix everything.
As Harry changed clothes for the night he noticed the same snowy white owl that had brought Cedric’s letter before, resting comfortably on top of Hedwig’s cage waiting to deliver its burden. Standing up and nearly hobbling across the room, his body objecting the movements, he took the letter and the small plain brown box from the owl and then watched it take flight and sail out the window.
Deciding to open the letter first, he sat down to read Cedric’s reply.

Harry,
I am sorry it took me so long to get back to you. We went on a small mini trip to Bath so I wasn’t able to reply right away. Also, I wanted to get you something as well. I know you will love what I sent you.
As for your letter before, I don’t there is anything strange with how you feel, because I feel that way too. When I told you in my first letter that I couldn’t help but write you so soon, it was true. I missed you very much; I just felt a need to reassure myself that you were okay and to hear how you were doing. You have become very important to me, I hope you realize that. Your friendship is very important to me and I am pleased to call you friend.
My parents have assured me that we will be home in a fortnight and I was thinking if you don’t already have plans, I could come the following Saturday and we could go see the Camden Market like you wanted. I haven’t been to any muggle markets like that and would love to do it with you.
It is late here, so I am off to bed but, I wanted to send this off quick so you did not think I forgot about you. I hope you have sweet dreams.

Thinking of you,
Cedric

The feeling that enveloped Harry when he read the letter was indescribable. The warm, contented, tingly, fluttery, whatever, feeling made him grin broadly. Cedric missed him and he felt the same way, well maybe not absolutely the same way but, somewhat. Laughing, Harry reread the letter and then set it down and opened the box.
Nestled inside the plain unassuming box, lay the most sweetly aromatic treats Harry had ever laid eyes on. A note was placed inside as well.

Harry,
My family and I were at a little French bakery this morning and I thought of you. I included a wide variety of treats that I think you might like. My favorite is the Madeleine’s; they are the shell like cookies. They have a sweet buttery taste that melts in your mouth. I hope you enjoy them and if you would like I might send you some more, the French certainly know how to create the best tasting food I have ever tasted.
Enjoy!
Cedric

Harry took a bite of one of the Madeleine’s and moaned in pleasure. Cedric was right; they do melt in your mouth. Harry had a few more, barely keeping himself from eating everything in the box but, after having his fill; he closed the box and set it under his bed out of sight from the grubby hands of his over fed cousin.
It was plain to see though Cedric had tried to make it appear otherwise, that he had sent the food because he remembered the conversation while returning from Hogwarts. Cedric knew that he wasn’t fed properly during the summer and was trying to make up for it.
Harry was pleased that Cedric cared for him that much to send him things he knew Harry wasn’t getting at the Dursley’s. However, on the other hand he was embarrassed that the Hufflepuff seen a shameful part of his life that Harry had hoped to keep from Cedric. He knew it wasn’t his fault that his relatives treated him this way, it was their problem and he had no part in it. But, he still felt the pity that some people showed him when they heard what his life was like away from Hogwarts.
Pushing the hurt aside, he focused on the fact that Cedric cared about him and that was all that mattered.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Over the next two and a half weeks, Harry received so much mail he was elated. Nearly daily he got a package of food and a letter from Cedric. Cedric talked about all the things he had seen since last writing and asked how Harry was doing? What he thought about the Ministry’s continued denial on Voldemort’s return? The Daily Prophet seemed to have at least one article in it about Cedric and him each day, some was a question of the boys’ sanity, others on their need to lie to receive attention others made assumptions about their relationship behind closed doors. Cedric and Harry laughed it off, trying to ignore the increasing viciousness of the allegations.
But Harry ignored it all and nearly glowing whenever thinking about the growing relationship between the two of them. It seemed at times that Cedric was asking something in the letters but, not coming out right and asking the question. He alluded about the nature of their relationship or so Harry thought. He hoped that Cedric felt the same as he did but was afraid to show his feeling incase Cedric didn’t return them. Harry had hope that when Cedric finally came back to England, they would be able to say everything that had been left unsaid.
Harry also began writing Sirius and Remus about being gay. Asking questions about everything from the mechanics of sex to the different type of relationships men could have between each other. He knew the basics of where everything went but, didn’t understand the more in dept acts of sex.
What startled him but, intrigued him nonetheless, was that Sirius had said there were bottoms, tops and those that switched. When Harry had first read this, he had blushed as red as the Hogwarts Express. Even though he had been alone at the time, he had brought the letter closer to his body, as if someone would know what he was reading about.
After reading the letter, he had thought about it and came to the conclusion he was most likely a bottom. Whenever he thought about being with a guy he had always pictured himself beneath the other man, restrained, begging for more, being the one to be entered. Thinking about it always made his heart speed up, his breath coming out in pants, becoming hard at the vision of him like that… Of Cedric, being the one to make him feel that.
Sometimes, when he was wanking a favorite fantasy of his was Cedric laying him down on a bed, holding Harry’s hands above his head with one hand while the other glided over his chest. The hand would rest at one of his nipples, twisting it slightly, eliciting a cry of pain from Harry’s lips but, was soon soothed by a warm wet mouth. He had found early on in masturbating that nipples were a very pleasurable spot for him. More often than not, he found release before actually following the fantasy to actual penetration.
Other times he thought back to the night in the infirmary and about the things he hadn’t noticed until it was over. He remembered the feel of Cedric’s arms around his waist, holding him against the wide muscular chest as he nestled his face into the crook of the older boy’s neck. He could close his eyes and imagine himself sitting on Cedric’s lap, straddling those strong thighs, his bottom nestled against Cedric’s growing erection. Of running his fingers through the soft velvety hair at the nape of Cedric’s neck and the smell of fresh cut grass and leather wafting around him. The rightness of being held close to him protected by those powerful arms and kept safe from the world. It didn’t take more than that to send him over the edge; he knew many of his fantasies were more about intimacy and comfort than sexual, that he craved love and devotion, of being able to give the same.
Just thinking about those fantasies, left him aroused and panting, his body pleading for release. Though with great effort, Harry tried to will his body to behave its self. In just under thirty minutes Cedric would be here to go Camden Market. Harry was so excited at seeing Cedric that it was hard for him to think of anything else. After weeks of late night fantasies, he was worried that somehow Cedric would know exactly what he had dreamt about. He knew it was irrational but, he thought it nonetheless.
Sighing, he walked to the tarnished barely standing dresser that stood in the corner of the bedroom and took out his clothes. While the Dursley’s had gone out for dinner last night, Harry had snuck down to the cupboard under the stairs and picked the lock. Then he had picked out a few pieces of clothing he had purchased during last summer while with the Weasleys. There had been no way he was going to wear Dudley’s cast off’s for his date with Cedric.
After debating for a while, he had gone with a pair of loose fitted blue jeans and a dark red fitted t-shirt. Over the shirt he wore a black hoodie that had silver snakes that followed a path that swirled around the arms and down the front of the hoodie as well as down the back side. He ran his fingers through his hair but, in the end gave up, his hair wouldn’t be tamed. Pulling on his trainers, he looked at himself in the mirror near the window and smiled, much better than Dudley’s clothes.
From downstairs he heard someone ring the doorbell at the front door. After a few moments of talking, too far away for him to hear, he heard he uncle yell, “Get down here now, boy!”
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Cedric stood in front of the two-story home labeled Number 4 Privet Drive frowning for a moment and then walked up the walkway and knocked.
From inside he heard a gruff voice grumbling as footsteps came closer and then the door swung open. The short overly large man who answered the door with a scowl on his face spoke, “We don’t want any!”
The door slammed in his face.
Cedric frowned and then knocked on the door again.
“What do you want?” the man barked.
“I’m here to pick up Harry, is he in?” Cedric asked, trying to keep his temper in check. These muggles needed to be yelled at and put in jail for what they had most likely done to Harry but, he knew Harry wouldn’t appreciate Cedric stepping in on his behalf.
The man’s face turned an alarming shade of purple, the scowl turned into a look of rage.
“Get down here now, boy!”
Cedric heard a tromping of footsteps coming down the stairs and then Harry came into view.
“I thought I told you I don’t want any more freaks like you coming here!” Vernon Dursley yelled at Harry.
“He’s just coming to pick me up, we’ll be gone for the entire day and I will be out of your way.” Harry said quietly as he chanced a brief glance at Cedric and blushed in embarrassment.
“Good!” Harry’s uncle stated and then pushed Harry outside as he slammed the door.
Harry stumbled into Cedric, so Cedric wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist to steady him. Looking down at Harry, Cedric frowned and then looked back at the closed door, a glower on his face. Turning back around, he looked down at Harry and raised a hand quietly moving a stray lock of hair out of Harry’s eye and placing it behind his ear.
“Do they always treat you like that?” Cedric asked quietly.
“Yeah, but I am used to it.” Harry sighed looking up at Cedric.
“You shouldn’t have to get used to it, Harry. They shouldn’t treat you like that… I can’t believe Headmaster Dumbledore would leave you with people would treat you that way!” Cedric exclaimed, fury at the people Harry was mistreated by and disappointment in the man who he looked up to. He couldn’t believe that no one had done anything about Harry’s relatives.
“He has his reasons. I don’t always agree with them but, he is my guardian in the magical world.” Harry said dejectedly and then tried to smile. “Why don’t we get going?”
Sighing, knowing Harry had purposely changed the subject, he gave one last frown at the recently slammed door then spoke, “Okay. I thought I would apparate us there. I have been to a place nearby so we can walk from there.”
Cedric grabbed one of Harry’s hands, threading their fingers together and led him around to the side of the Dursley’s house, standing behind a tall bush. After they were sufficiently hidden, Cedric wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist. Harry slipped his arms around the older boy’s waist as well and rested his head against Cedric’s chest, the top of his head not even reaching Cedric’s shoulders. Closing their eyes they disappeared with a loud crack.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Once they arrived in Camden Market the two boys proceeded to spend several hours browsing from one store to another. Cedric was like a kid in a candy store, amazed at all the muggles had to offer. They found several clothing boutiques and spent a fair amount of time there, where Harry and Cedric spent a great deal of money on new clothes. Harry had found a few good pieces and after going to try them on, he had come out of the changing room and Cedric had actually stuttered.
“Wow, Harry, you’re beautiful…” Cedric said breathlessly as he stared. His eyes ghosted over his body almost as if a caress and Harry heard the hitch in his breath as Cedric did so. The older boy finally finished his perusal and returned to Harry face. “Well, you’re definitely getting those clothes, even if I have to buy them for you myself!”
Harry blushed and with a small laugh, turned to face the mirror in front of him. Harry had chosen a pair of skin tight black jeans and a deep emerald green sleeveless vee neck pullover that fit him like a second skin. His thin but, muscular arms were accentuated by the shirt, showcasing his slight seeker’s build. The shirt made him eyes pop while, highlighting his dark almost blue black messy locks. His pale white complexion completed the look.
It was funny but, for the first time in a long time he felt like he was attractive. He hold been told it before by admiring girls at Hogwarts, girls that didn’t want Harry but rather Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. Now as Cedric told him he was beautiful, even though in his mind he balked at the word, he truly felt beautiful.
“Well, if you’re going to force me, I guess I am going to have to buy them…” Harry said with an exaggerated sigh and a smirk, all the while knowing he would have bought them anyways, just because of the look he got from Cedric in them.
Laughing, Cedric watched as Harry went back into the room to change.
Once they purchased the clothes, they left the store and continued on. They walked near a small booth that had a display of handmade jewelry. Harry looked at the pieces and couldn’t help but stop at a gorgeous necklace with what looked like an antique pendant on a strip of thin brown leather. The pendant was aged pewter in an oval shape with two wolves lying together. One wolf lay slightly over the other, as if protecting its mate from harm.
Harry fingered the piece lovingly wanting to buy the necklace but, he knew he wasn’t able to. The piece wasn’t ridiculously expensive but, it cost more than he had on him. He had brought a reasonable amount of money for shopping but, after buying the clothes and a few books before that, he didn’t have enough money. Sighing quietly, he walked away and moved onto a booth nearby unaware when Cedric quickly purchased the necklace from the designer.
A while later after they had shopped enough, they decided to have dinner at a nearby pub. Once inside the waitress seated them and took their drink order and walked away.
“Harry, I wanted to ask you and if I am completely off base, just tell me…” Cedric started, he looked at Harry and gave a slight smirk. “Do you fancy boys? Well, specifically me, that is?”
Absolutely gob smacked, Harry did a perfect impression of an owl, his eyes opened wide blinking rapidly and mouth hung open. He hadn’t expected that. Quickly lowering his eyes before Cedric saw the war of emotions flittering through him; he tried to decide what to say. Screaming, Yes! Would be an honest answer but, he didn’t think he should actually do it. He wanted so much to tell Cedric that he liked him, that he fancied him but, the words got stuck in his throat. He was afraid to tell him, to be honest and tell someone other than his godfather and Moony that he was gay.
“Umm, i… Well, that is… you…” Harry stopped; taking a deep breath he tried to steady his emotions. He knew Cedric wouldn’t hurt him and he needed to trust that.
“Yes.” He mumbled quietly, keeping his eyes on his joined hands resting in his lap.
Harry felt Cedric’s hand tilt up his chin and he found himself looking into Cedric’s smiling grey eyes.
“Lucky for me then because I definitely fancy you!” Cedric said with a laugh as he watched Harry blush and look away but, a smile split across his face.
After the two ordered their food, they chose to leave the topic for another time and talked about different things. They talked about the Weasley family and Harry’s affection for them. Harry was excited about being able to go and stay with them, as his birthday was in just over two weeks. Cedric laughed as Harry told him that Mr. Weasley’s also had a fascination with the muggle world and the things he got up to because of it.
Before they knew it, the meal was over and they exited the restaurant to find a secluded place to apparate from. Again the two wrapped their around each other without thought and where gone.
Appearing behind the bush beside the Dursley home, Cedric removed his arms from around Harry’s waist, linking their hands together and walked him around the house.
“Why don’t you come inside with me? If you are going to visit anymore before I go to stay at the Burrow, you might as well bypass the replaying of this afternoon and apparate straight into my bedroom.” Harry said as he opened the door and hesitantly walked inside.
The house looked empty and so he pulled Cedric behind him as he walked up the stairs and opened the door of the bedroom. They walked inside and Harry closed the door behind Cedric.
Harry tried not to think about what Cedric thought if the state of the bedroom. He knew compared to the rest of the house, the bedroom looked as if a poor urchin lived in it, which in reality was too far off. The bare walls, the thin mattress placed on the rickety twin bed. In the corner stood the battered and nicked dresser and the wobbly desk with stains all over it.
“Um, I really don’t spend much time here, most of the time, when I am not at Hogwarts; I am at the Burrow with the Weasley’s.” Harry said quietly as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“Harry, I know you’ve never really wanted to talk about it before but, I can’t stand that you have to live with those people! They treat you like shite; they apparently don’t give you the necessities like food, clothing or love… Maybe, I could get my father to let you come and stay with at my family’s home during the summers or I have been thinking about getting a place of my own in Hogsmeade, maybe that would work…” Cedric said the last bit mostly to himself.
Harry smiled and walked up to Cedric, lifting up on his tip toes he wrapped his arms around Cedric’s neck and kissed the older boy. The kiss was brief but, a bolt lanced through his body at the touch of their lips.
Cedric looked shocked for a moment and then wrapping his arms around harry small waist and smiled.
“What was that for?”
“Just for being you. Thank you for trying to help, it makes me feel good to know that you care.” Harry said honestly.
“I care a great deal about you Harry and I don’t want to see you suffer like this.” Cedric replied as he rested his forehead on Harry’s, looking into those striking emerald eyes.
“I know, I don’t like it here either but, Dumbledore insists that I must stay here. It has to do with Voldemort and is important.” Harry whispered. “But, I like that you would do that for me.”
Harry sighed as he rested his head against Cedric’s chest, inhaling the familiar scent of the boy. Cedric placed his chin atop Harry’s hair and closed his eyes. The two stood there in the silence for alone time, just enjoying the feel of the other in their arms. Then with the slam of a car door near the house, Harry heard Dudley complaining about not getting ice cream and the moment ended.
“You’d better go, they don’t like me to have visitors.” Harry said and placed a chaste kiss on Cedric’s lips and stepped away.
Cedric smiled, stepped up to Harry and wrapping a hand around his neck, Cedric leaned down. The kiss was different than the other two, where the others where chaste and sweet, this was filled with passion. Cedric lightly nipped Harry’s bottom lip, running his tongue over the lip to sooth it and then used it to coax Harry’s lips open and delve into his mouth. Cedric’s tongue glided across Harry’s, cajoling it to mingle with the other as he pressed his body against the younger boys and gripped Harry hips.
Harry rested his hands onto Cedric’s chest, gripping the shirt beneath, trying to pull Cedric closer to him. He felt fire spread through his body, the heat making him whimper in need and grip Cedric tighter. But all too soon, the kiss was over and Cedric pulled back from the kiss. Cedric cupped Harry’s cheek in his hands, using his thumb to caress Harry’s pouted lips.
“If I wasn’t worried about your relatives, I would press you up against that wall and kiss your sweet lips for hours…” Cedric murmured, his eyes glazed over in lust.
“If I wasn’t worried about my relatives, I’d let you.” Harry replied brazenly. Biting his bottom lip, Harry barely restraining himself from begging for more.
“Oh gods, you tempt me!” Cedric whispered and then leaned down for another kiss.
This kiss was much shorter but, no less intense. Their tongues intertwined, mimicking the act their bodies craved. With a great deal of effort Cedric ended the kiss.
“I’ll owl your tomorrow about going out again. I will see you later.” Cedric said, pacing a chaste kiss on Harry’s lips, he stepped back and apparated away.
Harry stood staring in the spot Cedric had just vacated, a smile on his kiss bruised lips. Cedric and he had kissed. They had REALLY KISSED! Biting his bottom lip, he could still taste the sweet favor of Cedric on his lips. Amazed by the day’s events, he couldn’t believe that when he woke up this morning he worried about how Cedric would act when they saw each other. That he would be overwhelmed by feelings for the older boy and Cedric wouldn’t feel the same.
Now here he stood, thoroughly kissed, craving the touch of Cedric hands on his body and with a promise of more in the future. Life was good.