Wizard's Porn

A/N: I’m really pleased that this has received a warm reception. I will work my way back to Thief, but it needs some serious tweaking. And I just nearly posted a recipe I just downloaded for Beef Stroganoff, rather than the chapter. Ooooooooops.



In answer to reviews:



Oh yeah, if you’ve got a request of something you want to see, get it in a review and I’ll have a go at incorporating it into a chapter, no promices.



mariteri Hermione fits into this plot that has more twists than the average corkscrew. Its not a “typical” plot, and Hermione’s circumstances are not unique (as far as fanfiction goes), but her misfortunes have a new angle. I’ll say no more – or I’ll spoil everything. Rest assured, Hermione is key to this.



LadyBlueEyes I’m so glad to hear you are enjoying the plot and look forward to more! Someone telling me that lets me know that people enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoy writing it!



The plot is an interesting one – and I think that with Spring in the air, that the bunnies have got a bit horny! I honestly have NO IDEA where this plot sprung from!



luvhp Again, I’m so pleased that you’re enjoying this! I’m also glad that you thought chapter 3 was sweet – it was what I was aiming for! *phew*



Lucius hasn’t forgotten how to kiss a woman into a puddle of extacy, because he never learnt how to in this AU. Kissing is a very intimate act – and I don’t think he’s ever known true intimacy. He’s had plenty of partners, but nothing cherished or close.



Don’t worry, I’ll have Hermione work on his kissing skills in a later chapter; just for you to make you happy. That sound alright by you?



Tenar10r I’m glad you liked it and thought it was cute – it lets me know I’m getting my ideas across.



LCDrusilla SOCKS! Long story, but on seeing a bloke walk down the street, in the typical Brit summer dress code of: shorts, socks and sandals, I couldn’t help it! Lol! I keep my socks on too.



I have some hilarious horror stories of my own – and at the time they were mortifying, but my fiancé and I can just look back and laugh now. You know you love each other when such things can be shrugged off with a giggle.



Daisy, as I said in 3, is based on someone who a porn star talked about in an interview. She doesn’t turn up again, and I was trying to get across that the Wizarding World wants good quality porn, not crap.



I’ve had a guess on who Jake is, and I have to disappoint, but he’s just a glamoured OMC and nothing to do with the characters we know and love/hate. Jake might pop back into a later chapter, but its just a little cameo part.



Abby Don’t worry! There’s more than this to come! Uni is practically done for this academic year, and I’ve got too much time on my hands waiting for my exams to be marked and my results got back to me. This will update as and when the chapters are written and checked over with my beta.



NutsAboutHarry You’re another reviewer who gives me confidence that my thoughts are actually coming across. I’ve seen a lot of PWP (in other fandoms too) where it’s just crass and filth. I like good smut, I don’t like (to use your phrasing) lecherous stuff.



Daisy was the only non-nice smut in this fic, and it was just to get across that the magical viewers want quality porn. I find that pornography can sometimes be far from good, and I think I’d be quite happy watching wizard porn!



While at high school. The lads would wait for ‘Naked Thursday’ (there was a sign on the wall with Naked Thursday written on it, the Headmaster never worked out what it was on about! Lol!) for the porn mags to come out in the local newsagents – the common room would suddenly have a small mountain of porn mags on the tables. While the boys drooled, the girls generally looked over the mags and read the articles and stories. You could frequently hear comments of “They’re silicone”, “She’s been airbrushed”, “That fake tan makes her look like a baked bean”, “He’s looking in the wrong direction”… Its why I think I wrote this, I’d like to see some quality.



LadyVoldemort87 I like my uniqueness! It keeps me sane in a domain of quite stereotypical plots! Some HP stuff is repeated over and over and over and over and over… I like to spice things up with something original!



PS. Does the 87 refer to 1987, and your DOB? Because I’d be a ‘Utopia87’ right along with you if that was the case!



meankitty69 I’m glad I’m intriguing you, and that you want more! You were another one who gave me a confidence boost!



Suzie A lovely long review, and I’m going to take a bit of time to answer it.



Yep, they’re DEFINITELY being called back, the rest of the plot just won’t work if they’re not! Lol!



The banter was something that came to me as an afterthought, most real couples do have a lot of banter between them; but these professional couples are putting on a show and it isn’t real. The banter gave it an edge of reality, and that might be part of why the audience were impressed.



I wondered how many people out there shared my views on pornography! I’m glad you said that, as I completely agree with you. I like the documentaries on sex, they focus on other things – or more accurately they HAVE a focus. Porn just doesn’t turn me on, but a GOOD romance book… well, lets say my fiancé quite likes it when I’m tucked into a good romance…



Porn is mostly aimed at men, I think. Yeah, I think more ladies will become viewers if Max/Juliet continue. I might just have to work that suggestion in, it honestly hadn’t crossed my mind!



Hermione has her reasons for working there, as does Lucius. Lucius’s reasons are revealed (somewhat) below, but you’ll have to wait for all of Hermione’s! Her backstory is much more complex, but her reason is one that has been mentioned. I don’t want to give it away. Trust that they’re not there on a whim, and both have their reasons.



The back story is coming out slowly and surely, and it is very important. But it needs quite a few chapters to develop.



Thank you for your detailed review and excellent points. I hope the rest impresses you.



Carha Don’t worry, there’s a more from where those 3 chapters came from. I’m glad you thought this started well and has potential! It is really reassuring to know people think such things!



LaBibliographe Your comments mean a lot to me, and this one was of no exception.



You’re another one to mention the unique plot. I like originality in a fic, and I try to keep them as original as possible. I feel like a plagiarist when I use the plots that have been recycled over and over in fanfiction!



Lucius likes his BDSM, and is very much of a ‘if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it’ attitude, BDSM works for him and his partners, why change it? His kissing skills are rusty because he doesn’t really have any. I think the Sex God image is wonderful – but too good to be true. I need to make him more accessible where I can, and this seemed a logical way to do it. I’m seriously contemplating writing a virgin Lucius – but I’m struggling as he’s been painted so much as the Sex God – I just don’t know where to start! He had to be innocent at some point! I’ll let the bunnies chew on it and see what they come up with.



He hasn’t had much intimacy with his partners, kissing is so personal, and I don’t think he has had a close enough relationship to learn how to snog a woman into a puddle of goo.



Sorry, luv, ‘Jake’ isn’t Snape. Though, there have been others who want to know who he is. Jake is just a seasoned Dom, an OMC and really of no consequence to the tale. I might bring him back for a short scene later, but he’s more background than anything else. I just wanted to get across that Max isn’t the only one.



If you want Snape, then I might try and get him in later? How’s that sound? If you can come up with a situation that fits, I’ll get it typed in.



Daisy (and the lack or tips) were just to show that the magical world want quality, and won’t stand for substandard.



It just came to me *lightbulb hovers above my head*. The LM/HG corner always seems… different to me. I always think the LM/HG readers want that extra mile, and I work my arse off to give it. It’s somewhat a metaphor of fanfic, there are some horrors out there, and it can put people off, ‘tips’ are like reviews (I guess). *ponders* I hadn’t really noticed that before just now. I must be in a philosophical mood today.



Yep, Juliet is Hermione, and you’re on the right lines, but it wasn’t Lucius. I couldn’t do that to her. Though, it was nasty, and I’m only going to hint at it. One rape scene was enough for me to write, I’m not in a hurry to write one again. Hints will have to do.



Lucius has a LOT to learn, and not just in sex… but I don’t want to give too much away. *sly grin*



SOCKS! I leave mine on all the time! Lol! I get really cold feet and get uncomfortable! I just wanted to make this seem ‘real’ – the viewers could relate to all that they saw – and a fair bit was completely accidental on the part of ‘Max’ and ‘Juliet’. The spontaneality (and apparently that isn’t a word, but I’m using it anyway) was realistic in my book, and helped win their skittish audience over.





THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHOM HAS READ THIS, AND THANK YOU TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE RATED OR REVIEWED SO FAR, and I hope all the readers continue to enjoy. (and if you’re not enjoying this, let me know).



If you don’t want to review, you don’t have to, but if there is anything you want to say, I’m happy to read it. Reviewing can often be a bit of a daunting task. I’ve seen some authors write quite bitchy and nasty authors notes, and threaten to not update if they don’t get reviews. *the mind boggles*. I’m not like that, reviews are nice, but they’re not the be all and end all of it. I write for my own pleasure, and post so that others can hopefully get the same enjoyment from reading. (I just wanted to say that, I keep meaning to put it on all my fics, and forget to). Don’t get me wrong, I’m a bit of a review-whore, but I’m just happy to get one or two comments to let me know others enjoy/don’t enjoy it. I’ve, so far, never been flamed or had a truly bad review – so I must be doing something right?



Right, without further ado, I give you chapter 4, but no smut in this one; it’s a post-coital filler that sets up the next chapters.



CHAPTER FOUR: A good gut feeling.



The Manager walked onto the stage wearing the largest grin Juliet had ever seen on him. A member of the administration pushed a metal trolley with two wooden boxes on it behind him.



“Merlin! You two were fantastic! Better than fantastic! I’m not one for watching my own performers – but with you being a bit on the unsure side, Juliet, I thought I’d keep an eye on things from off stage, and I kept peeking at the viewers to make sure they were alright.”



The little bald man smiled gently, he knew full well who ‘Juliet’ was, and due to some quasi-illegal spellwork, he couldn’t think or speak of her as anyone other than the glamour and false name. The Ministry waved the naughty charms, they earned so much tax from the performances that they couldn’t care less! The performers could be under the imperious curse, and they’d let if fly!



The Manager knew what she’d been through; ‘Juliet’ had once been a viewer, who had witnessed something similar (but not as good) with the same therapist. ‘Juliet’ had thanked the manager personally for letting her and her therapist watch; and the manager had decided to do something he hadn’t done before – he let the performers come into the private booth to talk to the viewer.



The woman, ‘Erin’, had only stayed a few minutes, having a prior engagement. The plain-looking red-head had given ‘Juliet’ nothing but kind words and encouragement, given her a brief hug, whispered in her ear and left the room. To this day, nobody knew what the performer had said.



The man, ‘Vince’ had stayed longer, having nothing better to do for the evening. He’d answered all of her questions; questions that ranged from ‘Why do you perform’ to ‘What goes through your mind during orgasm’. The skittish young woman had been reassured that sex wasn’t all rape, but was nowhere near ready to take a partner of her own – and there had been many offers.



A year later, The Manager received a letter and a photograph of a very pretty woman. In the photograph, the woman wore a simple, yet sexy dark blue negligee, the little lace detail skimmed her knees and hid the furrow of her cleavage from view. Her figure was womanly, rounded in all the right places, soft, gentle, fruitful. Glossy mahogany waves cascaded down her back with gentle ripples; her storm-grey eyes shone with kindness. She had a round, heart-shaped face, high cheekbones that were covered in a natural (slightly embarrassed) blush as The Manager took in her appearance.



Something struck him in that moment, she had been one of the few photographs sent to him that wasn’t posed or positioned to give the best effect. She stood naturally before a white-painted door, barefoot, smiling. Smiling. Most performers sent seductive glances, coy pouts, faces of orgasm. The shy smile was a refreshing change.



He read the letter with genuine interest; he had a gut feeling that this woman was going to be interesting. He was related (somewhere) down his line to a true seer, his gut feelings generally turned out correct; though he got the same gut feeling for bad situations as well as good – as Daisy proved – his gut feeling had been huge, but for all the wrong reasons.



Dear Sir or Madam,



I know you are busy, and I thank you for taking the time to read this letter.



I have never performed sexually on a stage, and in all honesty my only sexual experiences were at the hands of Death Eaters. I wish to learn about sex without the complication of a relationship, without the complication of my persona. Anonymity is proving to be a huge aphrodisiac, and the glamour gives me much confidence.



I witnessed a private showing a year ago with my therapist, and with a little persuasion and kind words, I have decided that I would like to be on the stage at least once.



Again, thank you for reading this.



Kind Regards,

‘Juliet’



It hadn’t taken much for The Manager to put two-and-two-together. ‘Juliet’ was the same woman who had sat shaking and nervous at the start of the viewing and by the end calmed and become intrigued. ‘Juliet’ was a true hero, yet for some odd reason she had been shunned by society; where as Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley’s faces had never left some part of the Daily Prophet, hers had practically vanished overnight.



He’d employed her, putting her with Vince after Erin had cancelled; she’d been demure and shy, innocent, clean, uncorrupted… the viewers had loved it, and Erin gladly stepped down and moved to another genre in the Theatre (as she’d been wanting to do for some time). After two years, the audiences still adored ‘Juliet’, and she received a lot of fan mail – which she responded to personally and politely.





“Mr. Manager? Mr. Manager?” ‘Juliet’ said, drawing his attention back to the here and now, waving her hand in front of his face.



“Oh, sorry! Miles away then… where was I?” he scratched his head, he’d completely forgotten what he’d said.



“You’d watched to keep an eye on things…” Max said, dressing; Juliet just tucked the sheets around her and remained in the bed, relaxed against the plump pillows.



“Oh yes! I remember! I watched, something I don’t normally do – and I have never seen a performance look so natural or organic! I had to keep reminding myself it wasn’t real!” he gave the couple a genuine smile as he handed back the purple underwear and dress to Juliet so she could dress. The clothes reappeared back on her body with the wave of her wand, becoming her everyday robes with another swish-swish-flick-swish.



“Thank you, Mr. Manager.” Juliet said, wondering where this was going.



“The viewers were highly impressed! They’ve all booked further private showings, separate private showings, with you two as the performers!” The Manager beamed and looked at the pair, he had no idea who Max was, only the glamour, but he’d made Juliet look like a goddess – or she’d made him look humble and average – he wasn’t sure which. “Max, I’m going to have to take you out of the Dom arenas, the private theatre is booked for, practically, the next two months for you both – the viewers are going to tell all their friends and the other members of the support group! I’ll give them a bit of discount for such a high number of bookings, that should keep your tips high”



“Erm… I guess that is fine. Though, I’ll miss the bondage, it’s what I’m used to.” Max said. The vanilla had been fun, fun; he’d relished it; but he liked his more spicy flavours, and thought that this style could get very boring very quickly.



“Oh, I’ve already found a decent Theatre Virgin to take your spot with Jake on the Dom stage, and someone else to take your place on the BDSM platform… I guess I leapt before I looked. I can squeeze you back in as a filler – a lot of viewers like the spontaneous stuff, your fans will be keeping a lookout for you. You mentioned something you wanted to try to me a few months back, I should be able to accommodate you…”



“That would be… enlightening.” Max said, thoughtfully.



“This evening was really good, and I’m glad the support group were pleased. It goes a long way to helping them – I’m testament to that.” Juliet said, “I can cope doing this for two months – though I need the exact dates and times for my diary, I do have other responsibilities to fit around this; I’m used to only doing the occasional performance.”



“Of course… and the support group were more than pleased!” The Manager said, as the Admin man wheeled over the trolley. “The performance brought in six hundred galleons in fee, take forty for us, fifty for the ministry; that leaves five-hundred-and-ten to divide between you – that’s two-hundred-and-fifty-five galleons.”



Juliet gasped, quickly working out the mathematics, “There were six couples in that booth? It’s tiny! I thought it was one, two at the most!” She hadn’t expected this much money.



“I never tell you how the audience fairs, Juliet, you perform better if you don’t know. The booth can be expanded and partitioned at a whim – well, for a charge.” He smiled gently, “However, they were so impressed, that they left a three-hundred-and-six galleon tip between them! Divide it and you get a bonus of one-hundred-and-fifty-three galleons! Three of the viewers swore they’d never seen anything so beautiful and passionate; three couples were at it like bunnies behind privacy charms! You two have just helped to re-kindle six marriages! They’re ecstatic!”



“We’re going home with Four-hundred-and-eight galleons?” Max said, wide eyed. The most he’d walked away with was two-hundred-and-one.



“Yes!” The Manager squealed, clapping his hands in rather unusual behaviour, causing both performers to back away ever so slightly, “Hence the chests! Even in ten galleon coins, the bags were too small!”



“That’s… T-that’s a lot of money.” Juliet whispered, stunned.



“Yes!” The Manager squealed again, blissfully happy with the up and coming bookings. “I’ll owl you both with the next two month’s worth of dates in the morning!” He walked away, a definite skip in his step; once again, one of his gut feelings had, literally, paid off; with wizarding inflation the way it was, he was soon going to have to start taking sixty galleons from the performers, not forty. But performances like that would prove that the actors could keep their profits up with their… passions.



“He’s happy.” Max murmured. Not even looking toward the chests. He had more than enough money, but he judged his performance on how much he earned; it was just a method to quantify what he did. It just sat in his personal vault gathering interest; his wife didn’t need to know about it.



Not that she cared; he’d hardly spoken more than good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night to her in the past two years. They’d tried to patch up their already torn marriage, and it hadn’t worked, they didn’t even make it to the sex therapist her friends had recommended. She just hadn’t divided their union; he had enough money to keep her happy.



His social status was hexed to bits, though hers was rather good – having been the one to save Harry Potter by lying to he-who-he-didn’t-want-to-dwell-on. Draco ran the overseas businesses in Europe (his son was a surprisingly adept linguist) and was never home. Lucius had nothing better to do than breed his prize roses and pegasii, run an estate and British companies (which, amongst other business, contained three florists and five stables), and have kinky sex with people who weren’t his wife…



… he could do a lot worse than have such passionate sex, even come close to making love, with this ‘Juliet’ person for a month.



“Looks like we’re partners, Max.” Juliet said with a smile, offering her hand for him to shake, drawing him from his thoughts.



“Partners indeed.” He agreed, taking her small hand in his elegant, long fingers. Instead of shaking on it, he brought her hand to his lips and left a gentle kiss on the back of it.