Blind Beauty
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
36
Views:
40,003
Reviews:
227
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
36
Views:
40,003
Reviews:
227
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A Desperate Plan
Chapter Number/Total: 4/36
Chapter Title: A Desperate Plan
Words: 2970 Words
Harry shifted closer, resting his head on Draco's shoulder when he was close enough. "I ... I don't know what's supposed to happen to me," he started, draping his arm over his body, "but at least I had this night, day, whatever it is, with you."
"But you won't tell me why?" Draco asked softly.
"I said I wanted to say when I saw you ...." He bit his lip gently, pausing. "Does that mean I'll never see you?"
"Probably not," Draco said quietly, not liking to think about it.
Harry went silent, still biting his lip. He guessed that something like this would happen, but actually hearing it ... "Where am I?"
"I can't tell you," Draco said, "and I don't know how long they will let me stay with you."
Running a finger down Draco's chest, he slowly came to an understanding. "I'm going to die like this."
Draco didn't answer, wrapping his arms around Harry and holding him tight. "I didn't want it like this," he said quietly.
Harry didn't know what to say, his cheek pressed against Draco's chest. All his life he'd dodged death, but now there was no way to escape. Before he knew it, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. "Neither did I," he whispered, blinking as the first tear made its way out.
Draco didn't know what to do. He lay there holding Harry and stroking his hair while he cried.
"You'd th-think I wouldn't be afraid of dying," he muttered, rubbing his face against Draco's chest. He hated crying. It made him feel so vulnerable, but he felt helpless in this situation.
"I don't want you to die," Draco whispered, the touch of Harry's tears on his chest feeling like they burned right through.
Harry felt his lips tremble as he spoke, "I don't want to die." He pressed himself against Draco as he hugged him tightly, fresh tears spilling out of his eyes. He breathed in deeply a few times, trying to calm himself down. "I ... you know ... how w-we were in school," Harry started, wanting to get this out first before anything.
"Yes, you hated me," Draco said quietly.
Harry sniffled and pulled back a bit, rubbing at his eyes. "But when we fought ... it was different, right?" he asked.
"It was always different, Harry," Draco smirked.
"Yeah, well, one day I started thinking about you differently," he tried to explain, still wiping tears away, but the more he did, the more the tears seemed to flow out of his eyes. He took a moment, breathing in again. "And then with everything on the t-tower ... and then after ... that's how I grew to like you."
"Like me?" Draco asked, sounding unconvinced.
"Love you ... however you want to say it," he whispered, sniffling again.
Draco tensed. "You ... love ... me?" he asked slowly, with a hitch in his voice.
"That's what that feeling is, right? This feeling I'm having now. Especially knowing that ... I'll never see you again ... it kind of hurts," Harry said softly, "right here." He laid a hand over his chest.
"Is that what that feeling is?" Draco asked, sounding confused or awed or both. His heart sped up.
"I'd say so ..." Harry answered quietly, running a hand through his hair.
"How ... do you know? Maybe it's just ... lust?" Draco asked in a trembling voice.
"No, if it was lust, things would be different. I wouldn't have told you anything," Harry replied, looking in his direction.
Draco lay holding this man and trying to understand what that meant for himself. He had known he lusted for Harry. But could what he felt mean more than that? His heart was beating fast and he was frightened by the idea.
"But all that doesn't matter," Harry whispered.
"It doesn't?" Draco asked, still sounding confused.
"I'll never be able to really love you ...."
"You said ..." Draco frowned. "Why?"
"Because I'm going to die!" Harry exclaimed, his hands clenching into fists. "I won't be able to see you ... and to say it to your face ... and to tell you how beautiful I think you are ... or how sorry I really am for that scar."
"Even if you live, that wouldn't be possible," Draco said quietly.
"Why not?" Harry asked, looking confused now.
Draco snorted, "Because I will be dead."
"I don't want you to die because of me," he said. "Not you, too."
"I didn't do what I was told," Draco said, his hands stroking Harry again.
"What ... what do you mean?" he stuttered, biting his lip. It was one thing for him to die; it was another thing with Draco.
Draco snorted, "Well, do you think they gave you to me for us to do this?"
"What were you supposed to do?" he asked.
"I asked for you, as a kind of gift," Draco said. "But it was as much a test. One I am sure I have not passed."
"But, they'll kill you now?" Harry asked, sitting up.
"Probably." He shrugged. "I have been somewhat of a disappointment to ... them ... for a while."
"No ... no ...." Harry shook his head, not wanting to believe that.
"I was supposed to torture you," Draco continued. "To rape you and make you suffer."
"We ... we can make it look like you did, Draco ... maybe you can ... just ...." Harry didn't know what he was saying or why he was saying it.
Draco frowned, looking down at Harry. "What are you saying?" he asked.
"You know what I'm saying ... they're probably going to do that to me anyway," he whispered.
Draco stiffened. "You can't be asking me to hurt you," he whispered.
"I don't want you to die because of me, Draco. Don't you get that?" he asked softly.
"You are going to have to say what it is you do want, Harry," Draco said. "I don't know if I can."
"I die regardless of what happens in here, Draco. You have a chance ... to go on ... to live." He bit his lip again, looking thoughtful. "If it means ... making me suffer ...."
Draco was thoughtful for a minute. Then he pulled Harry tight and rolled so that he was looking down at him. "You can't possibly know what you are asking," he hissed.
"I'm not as stupid as you may think I am," Harry answered.
"I don't think you are stupid. Just naive," Draco said. "I think you don't understand that they expected to hear you screaming, begging, weeping. That they expect these sheets stained red."
"I've got what I wanted already," he whispered, looking up. "I understand all that, Draco. In some ways, I'd rather it be you."
Draco pushed away and scrambled from the bed like he had been burned. He fell to his knees, panting and shaking.
"I can't stand the thought of someone else I love dying ... at least let me die knowing that you'd be okay." Harry mumbled, hoping Draco was still in the room.
Draco was on his hands and knees on the floor. Tears ran down his cheeks and he was panting. "Fuck," he said.
"Draco?" Harry asked softly, moving to the edge of the bed and standing up. "I'm sorry if I upset you."
The blond looked at the bare feet in front of him, his gaze travelling up Harry's legs to his body. "Oh, hell," he said, dropping his forehead to the floor and resting his head against it.
Harry carefully knelt down, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"Why you? Why?" Draco moaned from his place on the floor.
Harry didn't know how to answer, so he gently rubbed Draco's shoulder, sighing.
"You, you have done it to me again," Draco gasped. "I thought I hated you. But I wanted you. Wanted you badly. But now ... now ...." He trailed off in sobs.
Harry shifted closer, reaching out and hugging Draco close. More pain caused by him.
Draco's face was still pressed to the floor and he shuddered when he felt Harry's arm around him. He lifted his head and looked up at Harry, those lovely but blind eyes. "Now I know," he whispered.
"Now you know what?" he asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.
Draco pushed himself up so that he was kneeling facing Harry. He placed both his hands on either side of the other man's face, kissing him gently. "That feeling ... you said it is love," he whispered, "which means ... it means that I love you."
"Oh, Draco ...." Harry rested his hands on his shoulders, biting nervously at his lip. "Do you really?"
Draco laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "I am willing to die to spend a night making love to you," he said. "What do you think?"
Harry's face seemed to fall at the thought of him dying for that. "No ... Draco ...."
"Told you, already too late," Draco said. "What Snape did on the tower only delayed the inevitable. I just can't be like them."
"But we love each other ...." Harry sniffled pitifully and looked down, so used to the dark now, that if someone told him the spell was permanent, he wouldn't care ... as much.
"Apparently," Draco said, one thumb stroking Harry's lips. Then he had to kiss those lips again, his tongue tracing the same path as his thumb had just done.
Draco kissing him again made Harry want to cry more. "Please, we have to do something," he whispered.
"First, we are getting off the floor," Draco said and stood up, dragging Harry with him.
Harry stood up with him, wondering why his legs didn't want to support him quite yet, but he held on to Draco.
Draco pulled Harry with him and back onto the bed, pulling him close and kissing him again. Now that he understood why he had done this, he wanted to savour it. He wanted to taste and touch and enjoy what he could before it was gone.
Harry didn't notice he was even crying until he tasted the salty tears between their lips. He gripped Draco's shoulders and pulled back, breathing hard. "It's not fair."
Draco huffed, "Fair? You expect fair?" He stroked Harry's face with one hand, his other wrapped around the man's waist.
"It's what I wanted all my life. Then the one time I get something like this ... it's taken away from me. I should be used to it, but each time it hurts more," he whispered. "Maybe it's good that they're going to kill me."
"No, Harry," Draco sighed, "it's not good. I wish there was something I could do."
Harry sighed. There was nothing more he could do. Draco made it clear that he didn't even want to try and do what they wanted him to do, and Harry had no choice in the matter anyway. He suddenly felt cold and reached for blankets, if there were any. "Just ... lay here with me," Harry said.
Draco saw Harry reach for the blankets and pulled them up over both of them. He watched Harry's face, still so open. "I would try if it would keep you alive," he said.
"Try what?" he asked, resting his head on Draco's chest.
"Could you kill Him? I mean, if you had a wand?" Draco asked.
"I think so," Harry whispered, closing his eyes.
"I think that's why they blinded you," Draco whispered.. "Even naked and without a wand, they are afraid of you."
"Afraid of me, hmm," he said quietly, more to himself than to Draco.
"I could get you ... near Him." Draco was trembling even as he said it. "It would be horrible, but I would have a wand."
"How would it be horrible?" Harry asked, feeling strangely empty. Was it that he'd given up? He couldn't tell.
Draco shuddered. "They want ... to see you broken. To see you hurt. He likes ... that kind of thing."
"It would get me near him, though," he said.
Draco was feeling ill just talking about it, but he owed Harry the choice. "If you waited until he was ... near you," he said, "I could hand you my wand."
"What about you after the fact?" he asked, actually considering it.
"You mean, if you win?" Draco whispered.
Harry nodded. "Yes."
"What would you want?" Draco asked, feeling dreamlike to even be thinking about it.
"For you to come back home with me," Harry answered honestly.
Draco leaned in kissing Harry again, whispering against his lips, "If you still want me then, you can take me anywhere you like."
Harry smiled. "Then I will. But first, we need to make it past this part, Draco."
"The part where I have to ... hurt you," the blond whispered.
"I'll be fine," he whispered back, kissing Draco's chest. "I won't stop loving you."
"Could you do it? I mean, could you do something like that to me?" Draco asked.
"Do what? Stop loving you? Or hurt you?" Harry asked.
"Torture me?" Draco whispered.
"Probably not," he replied truthfully. "Not just because of how I feel about you ... I just ... I wouldn't know how to do that to someone. Besides Him."
Draco was quiet a moment. "I think I know what to do. But I would have to ...."
"Just do it," Harry said softly but firmly. "Think of our life after."
"I will have to act like I used to, talk like I did before," Draco said. "We won't be like this ... until after."
"All right ... it's actually easier not being able to see you," Harry replied.
Draco's heart clenched at the idea of what he would have to do. Could he really do it? He took a deep breath and tried not to let Harry know how much this frightened him. "I have a couple of provisions then," he whispered.
"What?" Harry turned a bit more so that he could bury his face in Draco's neck.
"I can't go back and forth. Once we start this, we are back to Potter and Malfoy. Not Harry and Draco." He frowned, thinking hard. "Because you are going to have to scream and beg and I am going to have to ignore your pleas." He was shivering again.
Harry nodded, understanding. "Malfoy," he whispered, pressing his lips against his skin gently. He pulled back and nodded again. "I understand."
"And, if you ... change your mind," Draco said, "there should be a way to tell me to stop."
"How? Like ... yelling stop won't work," he said.
"No, it can't be anything one would normally say when someone is ... hurting you," Draco said. "Something no one but us would understand."
"Like ... hippogriff?" Harry shrugged. He didn't expect to make him stop, but at least he had a way out. Just in case.
Draco snorted, "You would bring that up. Yes, I suppose that will work." He kissed Harry quickly so he understood he wasn't angry.
Harry kissed him a few more times before he lay back with a small sigh. "Do your worst, Malfoy."
"One more thing," Draco said.
"What else?"
"I want you to know that ... I love you. I regret hurting you then and now," Draco took a deep breath, "I would rather spend this night making love to you. But I will trust you. That this is what you want."
"If we do this right, we'll have plenty of other nights of just you and I making love," Harry answered with a smile.
Draco leaned in, kissing him again. He didn't know if he would ever be able to do this again and he wanted to remember.
Harry kissed him back gently, forcing himself to remember Draco's kind touch.
Lingering over the kiss, Draco knew he was stalling. He finally drew back and looked into Harry's unseeing eyes. He wanted to ask if he was sure, but Draco knew he was. "Are you ready?" he whispered.
Harry leaned up to kiss him one more time, missing his lips and kissing his nose instead. He smiled a bit, probably for the last time in a while, and lay back, nodding. "I'm ready."
"I am going to rebind you," Draco said. He thought for a minute. "I think I need to leave and re-enter, just to be able to see this as different."
"Okay, bye," he whispered, relaxing back into the bed and closing his eyes.
Draco slid from the bed and picked up his wand, doing cleaning charms on both of them and then the spell to tie Harry to the bed again. He also sent the dishes back to the kitchen. He redressed himself, watching Harry as he did.
Harry tried not to struggle in the bonds, biting his lip as he became nervous. He never thought he would have asked for something like this. He bit down on his lip harder when he wanted to call out for Draco.
Draco had to grit his teeth not to reach over and soothe Harry; seeing his distress was unnerving. Could he really go through with this?
"Hurry," Harry whispered through his gritted teeth, wanting to get through this. He didn't want to back out. This would save their lives, he told himself.
Draco nodded, even though he knew the other man could not see it. He left the room and stood on the other side of the door with his back to it.
When he heard the door close, Harry let himself get prepared, hands clenching and unclenching in the bonds. "It'll be okay," he whispered to himself.
Chapter Title: A Desperate Plan
Words: 2970 Words
Harry shifted closer, resting his head on Draco's shoulder when he was close enough. "I ... I don't know what's supposed to happen to me," he started, draping his arm over his body, "but at least I had this night, day, whatever it is, with you."
"But you won't tell me why?" Draco asked softly.
"I said I wanted to say when I saw you ...." He bit his lip gently, pausing. "Does that mean I'll never see you?"
"Probably not," Draco said quietly, not liking to think about it.
Harry went silent, still biting his lip. He guessed that something like this would happen, but actually hearing it ... "Where am I?"
"I can't tell you," Draco said, "and I don't know how long they will let me stay with you."
Running a finger down Draco's chest, he slowly came to an understanding. "I'm going to die like this."
Draco didn't answer, wrapping his arms around Harry and holding him tight. "I didn't want it like this," he said quietly.
Harry didn't know what to say, his cheek pressed against Draco's chest. All his life he'd dodged death, but now there was no way to escape. Before he knew it, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. "Neither did I," he whispered, blinking as the first tear made its way out.
Draco didn't know what to do. He lay there holding Harry and stroking his hair while he cried.
"You'd th-think I wouldn't be afraid of dying," he muttered, rubbing his face against Draco's chest. He hated crying. It made him feel so vulnerable, but he felt helpless in this situation.
"I don't want you to die," Draco whispered, the touch of Harry's tears on his chest feeling like they burned right through.
Harry felt his lips tremble as he spoke, "I don't want to die." He pressed himself against Draco as he hugged him tightly, fresh tears spilling out of his eyes. He breathed in deeply a few times, trying to calm himself down. "I ... you know ... how w-we were in school," Harry started, wanting to get this out first before anything.
"Yes, you hated me," Draco said quietly.
Harry sniffled and pulled back a bit, rubbing at his eyes. "But when we fought ... it was different, right?" he asked.
"It was always different, Harry," Draco smirked.
"Yeah, well, one day I started thinking about you differently," he tried to explain, still wiping tears away, but the more he did, the more the tears seemed to flow out of his eyes. He took a moment, breathing in again. "And then with everything on the t-tower ... and then after ... that's how I grew to like you."
"Like me?" Draco asked, sounding unconvinced.
"Love you ... however you want to say it," he whispered, sniffling again.
Draco tensed. "You ... love ... me?" he asked slowly, with a hitch in his voice.
"That's what that feeling is, right? This feeling I'm having now. Especially knowing that ... I'll never see you again ... it kind of hurts," Harry said softly, "right here." He laid a hand over his chest.
"Is that what that feeling is?" Draco asked, sounding confused or awed or both. His heart sped up.
"I'd say so ..." Harry answered quietly, running a hand through his hair.
"How ... do you know? Maybe it's just ... lust?" Draco asked in a trembling voice.
"No, if it was lust, things would be different. I wouldn't have told you anything," Harry replied, looking in his direction.
Draco lay holding this man and trying to understand what that meant for himself. He had known he lusted for Harry. But could what he felt mean more than that? His heart was beating fast and he was frightened by the idea.
"But all that doesn't matter," Harry whispered.
"It doesn't?" Draco asked, still sounding confused.
"I'll never be able to really love you ...."
"You said ..." Draco frowned. "Why?"
"Because I'm going to die!" Harry exclaimed, his hands clenching into fists. "I won't be able to see you ... and to say it to your face ... and to tell you how beautiful I think you are ... or how sorry I really am for that scar."
"Even if you live, that wouldn't be possible," Draco said quietly.
"Why not?" Harry asked, looking confused now.
Draco snorted, "Because I will be dead."
"I don't want you to die because of me," he said. "Not you, too."
"I didn't do what I was told," Draco said, his hands stroking Harry again.
"What ... what do you mean?" he stuttered, biting his lip. It was one thing for him to die; it was another thing with Draco.
Draco snorted, "Well, do you think they gave you to me for us to do this?"
"What were you supposed to do?" he asked.
"I asked for you, as a kind of gift," Draco said. "But it was as much a test. One I am sure I have not passed."
"But, they'll kill you now?" Harry asked, sitting up.
"Probably." He shrugged. "I have been somewhat of a disappointment to ... them ... for a while."
"No ... no ...." Harry shook his head, not wanting to believe that.
"I was supposed to torture you," Draco continued. "To rape you and make you suffer."
"We ... we can make it look like you did, Draco ... maybe you can ... just ...." Harry didn't know what he was saying or why he was saying it.
Draco frowned, looking down at Harry. "What are you saying?" he asked.
"You know what I'm saying ... they're probably going to do that to me anyway," he whispered.
Draco stiffened. "You can't be asking me to hurt you," he whispered.
"I don't want you to die because of me, Draco. Don't you get that?" he asked softly.
"You are going to have to say what it is you do want, Harry," Draco said. "I don't know if I can."
"I die regardless of what happens in here, Draco. You have a chance ... to go on ... to live." He bit his lip again, looking thoughtful. "If it means ... making me suffer ...."
Draco was thoughtful for a minute. Then he pulled Harry tight and rolled so that he was looking down at him. "You can't possibly know what you are asking," he hissed.
"I'm not as stupid as you may think I am," Harry answered.
"I don't think you are stupid. Just naive," Draco said. "I think you don't understand that they expected to hear you screaming, begging, weeping. That they expect these sheets stained red."
"I've got what I wanted already," he whispered, looking up. "I understand all that, Draco. In some ways, I'd rather it be you."
Draco pushed away and scrambled from the bed like he had been burned. He fell to his knees, panting and shaking.
"I can't stand the thought of someone else I love dying ... at least let me die knowing that you'd be okay." Harry mumbled, hoping Draco was still in the room.
Draco was on his hands and knees on the floor. Tears ran down his cheeks and he was panting. "Fuck," he said.
"Draco?" Harry asked softly, moving to the edge of the bed and standing up. "I'm sorry if I upset you."
The blond looked at the bare feet in front of him, his gaze travelling up Harry's legs to his body. "Oh, hell," he said, dropping his forehead to the floor and resting his head against it.
Harry carefully knelt down, reaching out and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"Why you? Why?" Draco moaned from his place on the floor.
Harry didn't know how to answer, so he gently rubbed Draco's shoulder, sighing.
"You, you have done it to me again," Draco gasped. "I thought I hated you. But I wanted you. Wanted you badly. But now ... now ...." He trailed off in sobs.
Harry shifted closer, reaching out and hugging Draco close. More pain caused by him.
Draco's face was still pressed to the floor and he shuddered when he felt Harry's arm around him. He lifted his head and looked up at Harry, those lovely but blind eyes. "Now I know," he whispered.
"Now you know what?" he asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.
Draco pushed himself up so that he was kneeling facing Harry. He placed both his hands on either side of the other man's face, kissing him gently. "That feeling ... you said it is love," he whispered, "which means ... it means that I love you."
"Oh, Draco ...." Harry rested his hands on his shoulders, biting nervously at his lip. "Do you really?"
Draco laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "I am willing to die to spend a night making love to you," he said. "What do you think?"
Harry's face seemed to fall at the thought of him dying for that. "No ... Draco ...."
"Told you, already too late," Draco said. "What Snape did on the tower only delayed the inevitable. I just can't be like them."
"But we love each other ...." Harry sniffled pitifully and looked down, so used to the dark now, that if someone told him the spell was permanent, he wouldn't care ... as much.
"Apparently," Draco said, one thumb stroking Harry's lips. Then he had to kiss those lips again, his tongue tracing the same path as his thumb had just done.
Draco kissing him again made Harry want to cry more. "Please, we have to do something," he whispered.
"First, we are getting off the floor," Draco said and stood up, dragging Harry with him.
Harry stood up with him, wondering why his legs didn't want to support him quite yet, but he held on to Draco.
Draco pulled Harry with him and back onto the bed, pulling him close and kissing him again. Now that he understood why he had done this, he wanted to savour it. He wanted to taste and touch and enjoy what he could before it was gone.
Harry didn't notice he was even crying until he tasted the salty tears between their lips. He gripped Draco's shoulders and pulled back, breathing hard. "It's not fair."
Draco huffed, "Fair? You expect fair?" He stroked Harry's face with one hand, his other wrapped around the man's waist.
"It's what I wanted all my life. Then the one time I get something like this ... it's taken away from me. I should be used to it, but each time it hurts more," he whispered. "Maybe it's good that they're going to kill me."
"No, Harry," Draco sighed, "it's not good. I wish there was something I could do."
Harry sighed. There was nothing more he could do. Draco made it clear that he didn't even want to try and do what they wanted him to do, and Harry had no choice in the matter anyway. He suddenly felt cold and reached for blankets, if there were any. "Just ... lay here with me," Harry said.
Draco saw Harry reach for the blankets and pulled them up over both of them. He watched Harry's face, still so open. "I would try if it would keep you alive," he said.
"Try what?" he asked, resting his head on Draco's chest.
"Could you kill Him? I mean, if you had a wand?" Draco asked.
"I think so," Harry whispered, closing his eyes.
"I think that's why they blinded you," Draco whispered.. "Even naked and without a wand, they are afraid of you."
"Afraid of me, hmm," he said quietly, more to himself than to Draco.
"I could get you ... near Him." Draco was trembling even as he said it. "It would be horrible, but I would have a wand."
"How would it be horrible?" Harry asked, feeling strangely empty. Was it that he'd given up? He couldn't tell.
Draco shuddered. "They want ... to see you broken. To see you hurt. He likes ... that kind of thing."
"It would get me near him, though," he said.
Draco was feeling ill just talking about it, but he owed Harry the choice. "If you waited until he was ... near you," he said, "I could hand you my wand."
"What about you after the fact?" he asked, actually considering it.
"You mean, if you win?" Draco whispered.
Harry nodded. "Yes."
"What would you want?" Draco asked, feeling dreamlike to even be thinking about it.
"For you to come back home with me," Harry answered honestly.
Draco leaned in kissing Harry again, whispering against his lips, "If you still want me then, you can take me anywhere you like."
Harry smiled. "Then I will. But first, we need to make it past this part, Draco."
"The part where I have to ... hurt you," the blond whispered.
"I'll be fine," he whispered back, kissing Draco's chest. "I won't stop loving you."
"Could you do it? I mean, could you do something like that to me?" Draco asked.
"Do what? Stop loving you? Or hurt you?" Harry asked.
"Torture me?" Draco whispered.
"Probably not," he replied truthfully. "Not just because of how I feel about you ... I just ... I wouldn't know how to do that to someone. Besides Him."
Draco was quiet a moment. "I think I know what to do. But I would have to ...."
"Just do it," Harry said softly but firmly. "Think of our life after."
"I will have to act like I used to, talk like I did before," Draco said. "We won't be like this ... until after."
"All right ... it's actually easier not being able to see you," Harry replied.
Draco's heart clenched at the idea of what he would have to do. Could he really do it? He took a deep breath and tried not to let Harry know how much this frightened him. "I have a couple of provisions then," he whispered.
"What?" Harry turned a bit more so that he could bury his face in Draco's neck.
"I can't go back and forth. Once we start this, we are back to Potter and Malfoy. Not Harry and Draco." He frowned, thinking hard. "Because you are going to have to scream and beg and I am going to have to ignore your pleas." He was shivering again.
Harry nodded, understanding. "Malfoy," he whispered, pressing his lips against his skin gently. He pulled back and nodded again. "I understand."
"And, if you ... change your mind," Draco said, "there should be a way to tell me to stop."
"How? Like ... yelling stop won't work," he said.
"No, it can't be anything one would normally say when someone is ... hurting you," Draco said. "Something no one but us would understand."
"Like ... hippogriff?" Harry shrugged. He didn't expect to make him stop, but at least he had a way out. Just in case.
Draco snorted, "You would bring that up. Yes, I suppose that will work." He kissed Harry quickly so he understood he wasn't angry.
Harry kissed him a few more times before he lay back with a small sigh. "Do your worst, Malfoy."
"One more thing," Draco said.
"What else?"
"I want you to know that ... I love you. I regret hurting you then and now," Draco took a deep breath, "I would rather spend this night making love to you. But I will trust you. That this is what you want."
"If we do this right, we'll have plenty of other nights of just you and I making love," Harry answered with a smile.
Draco leaned in, kissing him again. He didn't know if he would ever be able to do this again and he wanted to remember.
Harry kissed him back gently, forcing himself to remember Draco's kind touch.
Lingering over the kiss, Draco knew he was stalling. He finally drew back and looked into Harry's unseeing eyes. He wanted to ask if he was sure, but Draco knew he was. "Are you ready?" he whispered.
Harry leaned up to kiss him one more time, missing his lips and kissing his nose instead. He smiled a bit, probably for the last time in a while, and lay back, nodding. "I'm ready."
"I am going to rebind you," Draco said. He thought for a minute. "I think I need to leave and re-enter, just to be able to see this as different."
"Okay, bye," he whispered, relaxing back into the bed and closing his eyes.
Draco slid from the bed and picked up his wand, doing cleaning charms on both of them and then the spell to tie Harry to the bed again. He also sent the dishes back to the kitchen. He redressed himself, watching Harry as he did.
Harry tried not to struggle in the bonds, biting his lip as he became nervous. He never thought he would have asked for something like this. He bit down on his lip harder when he wanted to call out for Draco.
Draco had to grit his teeth not to reach over and soothe Harry; seeing his distress was unnerving. Could he really go through with this?
"Hurry," Harry whispered through his gritted teeth, wanting to get through this. He didn't want to back out. This would save their lives, he told himself.
Draco nodded, even though he knew the other man could not see it. He left the room and stood on the other side of the door with his back to it.
When he heard the door close, Harry let himself get prepared, hands clenching and unclenching in the bonds. "It'll be okay," he whispered to himself.