Guilty as Sin

CHAPTER 4

Harry sat silently at the end of Gryfindor table staring at his mashed potato, with no intention of eating it. The hall was once again alive with students all eagerly tucking into the start of year feast they’d been given. It had been a little painful but not unexpected to see his housemates ignoring him as soon as they’d arrived. Ron had looked the other way when Harry had gone to greet him, and Hermione had practically stared right through him as she’d barged past him on the way into the great hall for dinner. Feeling suddenly an outsider in his own house Harry had sat himself down the far end of the table, alone while the others eagerly exchanged stories of their summers with enthusiasm. Harry had felt their stares, the other students staring at him and sharing gossip that they’d no doubt heard from the papers and their parents. Harry kept telling himself it was all crap, and that none of them knew the truth but his resolve was faltering the longer they stared at him.

Eventually though it became too much and with his meal untouched Harry retreated to his dorm and locked himself in the enclosed space of his bed. Harry knew it would happen as soon as word go out of what he’d done, but as much as he told himself he didn’t care it still hurt. As he lay in the darkness of his bed, he listened as his dorm mates finally came up to bed none of them even acknowledging his existence as they’d fallen into bed laughing and joking with one another. It was late by the time Harry crept out of bed, his once friends lost in their dreams ready to begin a new year at Hogwart’s. Gliding down the staircase into the common room Harry folded himself into the chair by the warm glow of the fire and stared into its flickering flames. He hadn’t slept properly in weeks, just like every other summer he didn’t dare close his eyes unless his nightmares came back and he refused to let himself cry for fear of letting Vernon see his weakness.

It was early morning when the first students appeared from their dorms, most of them first years eager to begin their classes. Harry made himself small in his chair by the fire as he watched the Tower slowly empty of students all of whom were heading to breakfast. When he was sure he was alone he got up and took a shower and dressed in his school robes. He was in no hurry to get to breakfast, knowing he didn’t want to eat anything anyway. As long as he made an appearance at meals Snape could do nothing to him, the wizard couldn’t force him to eat.

Finally when he had his school bag packed Harry slowly made his way down to the great hall, ensuring that Snape saw him enter and sit down in the seat at the far end of the table. No one acknowledged his arrival and no one flinched when he stood up and left for his first class after only five minutes of sitting staring at the cooked breakfast.

Charms was first up, and Harry sat in the front row of the classroom knowing it would be the only free seat he’d manage to get by himself. The rabble of sixth year Hufflepuff’s and Gryfindor’s came in not long after him each of them partnering up knowing they had a years worth of practices to complete. No one sat next to Harry, and Flitwick didn’t bother to comment on the boy’s lack of partner instead assigning Harry a written task when the group got up to begin practicing the new charm they’d just been taught.

A similar situation happened in the rest of his classes for the week. Harry was content though to sit writing essay’s knowing he could always practice his homework alone and without having to make awkward conversation with anyone. His meals past the same, he ate meager amounts sitting alone at the top of the table managing to spend just enough time in the hall as to appease Snape’s rule but not enough to make himself sick.

Finally though Friday had come around, an entire day devoted to potions. It was Snape’s apparently new policy to have his Newt’s potions students for an entire day, using the excuse that the more complicated potions they’d be making needed that uninterrupted length of time to brew properly. Harry wasn’t complaining though Snape was the only professor in the entire school that was talking to him, not at him like he was a dog. Admittedly the potions professor had only snarling remarks to make but it was better than being completely ignored. It had been a miracle alone that Snape had allowed him into advanced potions, having only managed a miserable pass last year. Harry had a feeling the headmaster had something to do with Snape’s accepting him into the class but wasn’t going to ask.

As he’d done for all his classes that week Harry was first to arrive at potions and slipped quietly into the classroom and sat himself down on the front bench on what was typically the Slytherin side of the room. No doubt the class would be small with most students dropping the subject as soon as they were able but Harry wasn’t willing to risk taking another bench closer to the back incase he was forced to share. Everyone hated being close to the potion’s master anyway so there was little chance that anyone would sit next to him right at the front. The rest of the class filed in a few moments later. Harry kept his head bowed to the worktop listening to the scrape of stools on the stone floor. Harry was just beginning to relax in the knowledge everyone had avoided him when he heard the scrape of the stool next to his own as someone sat down at his bench. Looking up Harry was horrified to see a familiar blonde haired Slytherin sitting next to him.

Draco Malfoy. The boy had grown over the summer, he was taller and had grown his hair longer like his father. Like everyone else though he’d said nothing to Harry for the entire week and Harry wondered why the blonde had sat next to him when there were still plenty of other benches. It was also a well-known fact they hated one another, and so Harry was dubious of the boy’s motives. Harry decided then he’d have to move and went to stand up to shift benches, but before he could Snape strode in through the door waving his wand at the board and revealing the background of the potion they were going to brew. Snape glared at Harry who was half way off the seat, and the boy knew silently he had to sit back down again or face detention on top of the weekends he was already spending with Snape. Reluctantly he did so and began pulling out his books for the day’s lesson, knowing he could always move next Friday.

Snape went through his usual spiel about his students excelling and proper procedures. Before long though they’d been set to work to begin preparing their ingredients for their potion. Harry and Draco worked silently on their individual projects and Harry found himself concentrating a lot harder than he normally did in the class, his potion reflecting his dedication. Even Snape it seemed couldn’t fault what was in Harry’s cauldron and merely observed the boy silently as he strode between the benches checking work. They broke for lunch, suspending their potions to return to after their meal. Harry was reluctant to leave, much preferring the silence of the classroom to the rabble of the great hall. Once again Harry ate very little, managing a few lettuce leaves and a slice of chicken before retreating back to the dungeons to resume the lesson.

It was drawing towards the afternoon and the end of lesson. As Harry was just adding the last ingredients into his potion he heard Draco swear to himself beside him and Harry couldn’t help but glance across. The muttered curse was the only thing Harry had heard the blonde say all day. The blonde it seemed had broken his knife slicing his last ingredients. Without even missing a beat Draco looked up at Harry, for the first time making eye contact during the entire day.

“Can I borrow your knife please?” Harry was stunned that Draco had even asked let alone talked to him and so dumbly nodded and slid his knife across the tabletop to the other boy. Draco nodded his thanks and went back to chopping his shrivel root. Harry stared at the blonde dumbfounded but his attention was broken when he felt Snape’s familiar shadow fall over him. Grimacing Harry continued to stir in the last of his ingredients, wondering what the potion master wanted having left him well alone all week.

“Potter when you’ve bottled that I wish to speak with you in my office before you leave.” Harry nodded and extinguished the fire beneath his cauldron. Snape inclined his head slightly and retreated back to his desk. Harry took his time bottling his potion and cleaning up. The bell for the end of the last lesson rang clearly through the castle and with a reminder of homework Snape dismissed the class. Most students were eager to be out of the professor’s way Draco among them who was one of the first out of the classroom. Harry though knew there was no escape and merely finished collecting his books before moving to stand in front of Snape’s desk where the potions professor was writing something. “Come with me.” Finishing what ever he was writing with the familiar scrawling signature Snape stood up and led the way into his office, Harry trailing behind. “Close the door Potter.” Obediently Harry did as he was told and stood waiting beside the professor’s desk as Snape stalked around to his seat beside the fire. “Come here.” Crooking his finger at Harry, Snape gestured for the boy to come closer and Harry did as he was bid. Harry winced a little as Snape reached up and grabbed Harry’s chin, roughly pulling it up and into the light of the candles. Automatically Harry closed his eyes as he felt Snape’s cold fingertips brushing his cheeks and forehead inspecting his face for something unknown. Almost with disgust Snape let go of Harry’s face and the boy re opened his eyes to stare at the man by the fire. “It will do no good starving yourself Potter.” Harry dropped his gaze to the floor biting his tongue so that he didn’t retaliate with another sarcastic comment he knew would get him nowhere. “Has the potion I’ve been providing not helped settle your stomach complaint?”

“No sir.” Harry whispered having wondered to himself why Snape had continued to send him the potion each morning when it was clear it wasn’t working.

“Are you being physically ill?” Snape queried further his hands resting tightly in his lap looking up at Harry who was struggling to stay upright. He’d gone all week without having any substantial amount of food, and the lack of nutrients was making him feel a little woozy and light headed if he was forced to stand up longer than necessary.

“Not if I don’t eat sir.” Harry replied leaning heavily against the potion professor’s desk and closing his eyes when his vision began to swim. Harry needed to lie down and it must have showed on his face when Snape stood up and guided him heavy handedly over to the other chair beside the fire.

“So that is yes.” Snape muttered as he left Harry’s side and walked over to a cabinet, pouring the boy a glass of water and passing it to him. “Are you in pain anywhere?” Harry pointedly avoiding looking into the man’s eyes and instead stared at the water in his glass. Harry had been in pain since the night it had all happened but he’d put it aside, knowing that no one was bothered and he wasn’t about to ask for help. “Potter, are you in pain?” Snape asked again, and once again Harry refused to answer. “Fine, I’ll take your silence as a yes, now lift your shirt.” Harry looked up at Snape abruptly but didn’t argue as the elder wizard glared at him, his patience obviously worn thin after an entire day’s teaching sixth years. Putting the glass of water aside Harry reluctantly pulled up his school shirt closing his eyes as Snape’s gaze fell on the deep purple swelling around his stomach. Harry tried not to flinch as Snape’s finger tips pressed the swelling, but when the man pressed his palm flat down on the purple like bruise Harry couldn’t help but yelp in agony. Snape stepped away abruptly and shook his head in obvious annoyance. “Tell me Potter, is there blood in your urine?” Knowing he’d pushed his limit for the day Harry nodded watching as Snape sighed in irritation. “When did this happen Potter?” Harry shrugged his shoulders in reply, knowing exactly when but not wanting to divulge the information. “This blasé attitude of yours is not helping your situation Potter, and while you may enjoy suffering I however are under orders not to allow it. Now I’ll ask again, when did this happen?” Harry lowered his shirt and closed his eyes the memory of his last night at Privet drive so fresh in his mind. He remembered so clearly when his injury occurred just as he remembered how every other scar he had occurred during his summers at Privet drive. Harry knew exactly what had happened, being forcefully bent over a picket fence and fucked by an over eager, overweight and intoxicated teenager was bound to do you some damage, if not mentally but physically. Not that Harry was going to admit that to Snape. No, he had to remain true to his Uncle Vernon’s account of the events and that meant lying.

“During the fight I tripped on the garden hose and fell into the fence.” It wasn’t the truth but it was part way there and Harry dared to glance up and watch as Snape fell for it hook, line and sinker.

“You have internal bleeding, most probably a puncture to the stomach by those fractured ribs of yours.” Snape stood up abruptly from his chair opposite Harry’s and strode over to his potion cabinets. Harry watched over his shoulder as Snape sorted through a few vials before finding the one he was after and returning to Harry’s side. “I want you to take this and yourself up to the infirmary immediately. Madam Pomfrey will undoubtedly keep you in over the weekend so your detention with me is cancelled. You will however in lieu of this missed detention write me two feet of parchment on the benefits a wizard can obtain by eating a well balanced, regular and healthy meal, to be handed in by Sunday at 7.30pm. Is that understood?” Reluctantly Harry nodded and clutching at the vial and his stomach slowly rose from the chair, knowing that he was being dismissed. Harry was just leaving the office when Snape spoke again making him pause and glance back at the potions professor who was back behind his desk, parchment and quill in hand. “And Mr. Potter, if you hide serious ailments such as this from me again I will have you moved from your dorm into the dungeons where I can keep a closer eye on you.” Harry glared at Snape practically daring the man to do so and take more of his dignity away, that hadn’t already been stripped from him by the papers and his peers. With a darkening scowl Harry slammed the door to the professors office closed, wincing a little at the stretch of muscles but rejoicing in the satisfactorily echo it made in the deserted classroom. If Snape wanted to play the self-righteous professor than Harry was going to make the bastard pay for interfering.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>