What He Does To Me

Snape’s POV-

You are standing in my doorway right now. Why the fuck are you even here Sirius? What the fuck do you think is going to happen? Am I supposed to leap off my bed and pour my heart out to you? What do you expect for me?

“What?” I growl at you. I do not want you here! Get the fuck out of my room Sirius! I cannot stand it! If you do not leave, I will not be able to resist you much longer. God, why do you have to be so beautiful?

“We never talk about,” You look like your about to die Sirius. Do you know that? You are so fucking scared to be here.

“Talk about what?” I ask, trying to sound bored. I do not think it worked. You are the only person that has ever come close to breaching the shield I have built around myself.

“You know perfectly well what Severus.”

“I don’t think that I do Black. Do not call me Severus.”

“I’ll call you whatever the fuck I want Severus,” You emphasize my name to make your point.

“No you can’t Black. Get out of my room. You seem to have no real reason to be here. Out.”

“I have a reason. We never talk about it Severus. You have never ever acknowledged what we do at night,” You are not scared anymore, you are determined.

“There is no need to talk about anything Black.”

“Really? There is no need to talk about how I pound in to you every night and make you cum all over yourself? There is no need to talk about how I suck your hard cock until your ready to explode? And there is no need to talk about how you never make a sound as I fuck you? I think that there is a need Severus.”

Fuck! Fuck you, you fucking fuck. You know exactly what to say to make me hard. Why do you insist on doing this to me?

“No S-Black. I don’t think that there is a need to talk about that.”

“Oh but we do SeverWe rWe really do. Don’t you get it? I love you.”

Fuck! Fuck! No. God no. Please no. You did not just fucking say that! Shit Sirius, you are a fucking bastard!

“That’s nice,” I sneer. I cannot break down just because of you. I do not want you to have that kind of power over me, “Now that you have that out of your system, can you leave?”

“No. You are not going to hide behind that fucking shield of your forever Severus. I know you love me; I know you want me, but I don’t know why you act like you don’t!”

“You know nothing Black. Get the fuck out of here.”

“I won’t! I will not leave this room until I know why the fuck you shut me out!”

“Well then you are going to be here for a very long ti I l I look down at the book in my lap. You are not there Sirius, not to me. I am blocking you out of my mind.

But then your soft lips are on my neck and I forget I even have a book. You push me back on the bed and follow me with your lips. I know all you wanted was to fuck me. You in love with anything other then yourself, hah, like that would ever happen.

“I know what you think Severus,” Your breath is hot against my neck, “You’re thinking that I’m lying to you. You think I’m going to tell you I love you, then fuck you and forget about you afterwards like always. But think about this Severus, why would I lie like that when I can fuck you no matter what? I don’t need to tell you anything to get you to let me fuck you. I can do it whenever I damn well please.”

“You are a sadistic bastard Black.”

“Yes. But I’m a sadistic bastard that’s in love with a cold-hearted dick. But I won’t lie to you anymore Severus. I love you. I don’t want to take you every night without ever hearing your voice anymore. Why do you just lay there and let me have you. Why don’t you do anything? Push me away or participate. Tell me everything Severus. I want to know all about you. Sex can wait.”

“You seem to already know all you need to know about me Black. You seem to think I love you back. Why do you have to hear the words?”

“You don’t have to tell me you love me,” You’re driving me insane, “But tell me everyg yog you want to.”

“What if I don’t want to tell you anything?”

“Then you’re lying,” You lift your head up from my shoulder and look me in the eyes, “I can tell a lot about you Severus. You are great at hiding yourself from everyone else, but not me. I can look in your eyes and I can see that you love me, and that you want to talk to me.”

“What the fuck do you want from me Black? I’m not going to break down and spill my guts out to you! You are not worth it. You are not the person I want to know all my secrets.

“Why?”

“Because you lie to me Black. You have done nothing but lie to me since we met! You even tried to kill me once, or did you forget that? Why should I trust you?”

You sit down beside me and your hand rests on my leg. You are great at touching me in all the right ways.

“When I first saw you, and I mean SAW you, noticed that you were there and more then just some boy with black hair that never smiles, I got scared. I didn’t look at you like I looked at everyone else. I was drawn to you. I was 15 and you were, are, beautiful, of course I was drawn to you. That first time I really looked at you, I saw a boy that I loved. I was 15, that scared the fuck out of me. I wasn’t supposed to be in love with a boy, especially you. There was also the matter of me not believing in love. If you r grew up in the house I did, you wouldn’t either.

“I couldn’t stand that there was some one that could make me forget everything that I believed. But the moment I first truly looked at you, I knew that love was real, and that I loved you. But still, I was scared. My feels for you were too big for a boy that age. I couldn’t take that you made me feel weak. I needed to make you feel weaker then I felt.”

“You were scared so you had to treat me like shit, is that it?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well that is fucked up Black. You loved me since you were 15, yet on a daily basis you would pick on me, hex me in the halls, basically treat me like I was owl shit, and then you tried to kill me. That sure is love. You pathetic weak son of a bitch.”

“All true. Severus, the point is I now know why I was such a fuck back then. I can see now that I love you and I will never do any of that shit to you again.”

“I guess now I’m supposed to forgive you for you sins and then we fuck right? Listen Black, it’s not going to work. I am not going to just forget about all that because you say you have changed.”

“After I almost killed you that time, I didn’t sleep for two weeks. I almost went insane. Started hearing voices. You know, a man can’t live without sleep for two weeks. I would sit up all night and stare out the window. I almost jumped out of it a few times, but James always caught me. I couldn’t stand that I had done something so horrible to someone I loved so much. Severus, I want you to forgive and forget, but I know that’s never going to happen. But can you just admit you don’t hate me as much as you act like you do? Maybe even admit that you love me?”

I can’t take this anymore Sirius! You are driving me insane. Your eyes are still locked with mine. Your hand is still on my leg and its rubbing it gently, “Get out,” I hiss. Please don’t let me break.

You move forward and your lips brush over mine. I can feel myself breaking inside you gently lick my lower lip. I am crumbling and it is your entire fault. For some reason, I don’t care as much as I thought I would.

“Now try to tell me you want me to leave,” You whisper seductively.

“Fucking bastard,” I growl as I grab your shoulders and shove you back against the bed. I am not going to take your crap anymore Sirius, I am going to enjoy this. You gasp at my action. God Sirius, I want you.

You deepen the kiss and explore my mouth with your tongue and I get a chance to taste your mouth. You taste like peppermint candies Sirius. I search your body with my hands, trying to find the places that make you go wild.

You garb my head with your hands and pull it up so I am looking into your eyes, “Wait,” You breathe, voice coated with lust, “Tell me you want me.”