Darkness Shadows Light

Chapter Four - Random Acts of Intelligence & Senseless Acts of Self-Control

Harry sat on his bed for a while just staring into space. The conversation with Ron could have gone better, but he was confident that given a bit of time Ron would agree to help him. After all, what are friends for!

Finally he decided he couldn\'t just sit here and wait any longer, and the desire to see Severus grew by the moment. He desperately needed to know what the older wizard was feeling about their situation, he didn\'t want to push it, but he very badly needed some reassurance that he would not desert him.

Having made up his mind, he grabbed his invisibility cloak - if all went well he would need it on the way back - and headed to the dungeons. Everyone would be at dinner by now, but Harry reckoned that Snape would feel like eating as little as he.

Harry checked the office first, but though there were signs of recent occupation, there was no sign of Snape. Either he had decided to go to dinner, or he was in his private chambers, so Harry decided to check their first.

He got to the portrait that hid Snape\'s rooms and uttered the password, \"Serpentine\". The portrait slowly opened and Harry entered. Snape was sitting in one of his leather armchairs slowly sipping a glass of what Harry assumed was whiskey; he did not even look up when Harry came in. Harry dropped the invisibility cloak by the door.

\'I thought you\'d be along sooner or later,\' said Snape in a distant, disinterested voice.

Harry\'s hopes sank, this didn\'t sound like a man who had come to terms with being a father, let alone one who cared about him.

\'I think we need to talk,\' said Harry.

Finally Snape turned to look at him, those dark eyes that he had seen so full of passion, were cold and empty.

\'You\'d better sit down then,\'

Harry moved over to the other armchair, near to emptempty fireplace. Getting out his wand he pointed it until there was a merry fire burning. He felt eyes on him questioningly.

\'I was cold,\' he murmured.

\'You\'ve never complained about the cold before,\'
\'I\'ve never been pregnant before.\' Snape flinched.

*Definitely hasn\'t come to terms with it* tht Hat Harry abstractedly.

For a while both seemed lost for words, neither knowing quite how to begin this conversation.
nallnally Harry broke the silence.

\'I\'ve spoken to Ron,\'

\'Ah, yes. Yours and Albus\' brilliant plan to keep the world from finding out that Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, has been shagging one of his most hated teachers who just happens to be an ex-Death Eater.\' Snape\'s tone was bitter.

\'We\'re doing this to protect you!\' protested Harry.

\'No, you\'re not, well at least Albus isn\'t,\' conceded Snape. \'This is purely to do with my usefulness as a spy. If this came out, my usefulness would be over. The fact that I would probably be dead as well is only a secondary matter of little importance.\'

For the first time, Harry realised the man in front of him was hurting, that he, Harry, was not the only one who needed reassurance. Unsteadily he got to his feet and went and stood in front of the other man.

\'I\'d care if you died,\' he said softly, reaching out a hand and trailing a finger down the prominent nose.

The dark eyes seemed to soften a little as they surveyed Harry. His own hand came up and captured Harry\'s, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently.
\'Perhaps you would care a little,\' he admitted quietly.

Harry knelt down in front of him, placing his chin on his hands on Snape\'s knees, he looked up at him.

\'I\'d care a lot,\' he whispered.

For a moment he saw something flare in those eyes - a recognition of what Harry was trying to say? - but it disappeared all too quickly. Snape shook his head as if to dispel the mood.

\'So what did Weasley say?\' he asked abruptly.

For a moment Harry just stared at him as all the softness, the vulnerability, seemed to leave Snape.

\'Um, he said he\'d have to think about it.\' Harry finally managed to say. \'As you could imagine he was a bit shocked, but I think he\'ll do it. Though I had to tell him that story we would use was it was a one night stand and it was all a big mistake.\'

\'So Weasley wasn\'t interested in the post of your long term lover?\' Snape looked almost amused.

\'Of course not! I\'ve told you before, Ron is most definitely straight. Besides,\' Harry wrinkled his nose, \'if we had to pretend to be together people might expect us to be affectionate or something...\'

\'You might have had to kiss him,\' Snape said almost playfully. Harry\'s face turned to a mask of distaste.

\'God, that would just be so wrong!\'

\'So you don\'t find young Weasley attractive?\'

\'Definitely not, even if he wasn\'t straight,\' Harry looked up wonderingly as a thought struck him. \'You\'re not jealous are you?\'

\'Of course not,\' denied Snape uncomfortably.

\'Because you know there\'s only one person I want to kiss.\' Suiting the actions to the words, he pushed himself up and gently pressed his lips against Snape\'s. At first Snape did not respond, but then with a groan, he opened his mouth and deepened the kiss. This was not how he had planned events to go, he had planned to tell Harry that they could not be together and then send him away. He had certainly not planned to let those soft lips touch his, as soon as they did he knew he was lost.

Eventually they broke apart. Harry had somehow ended up on his lap.

\'Please, can we just have sex. I need to be close to you.\' Harry said in a passion-filled voice, his eyes looking intently into Snape\'s.

Snape stiffened, suddenly coming to his senses.

\'That\'s what got us into this trouble in the first place.\'

\'Well you can\'t exactly get me pregnant again,\' said Harry sarcastically.

\'I think it would be best if you go now,\'

\'I don\'t,\'

\'I don\'t think Albus would approve,\'

\'It\'s a bit late to worry about that,\' argued Harry. \'It didn\'t seem to bother you two months ago.\'

\'It bothers me now.\'

\'Are you trying to tell me you don\'t want me anymore?\' Harry could not keep the hurt out of his voice.

*There, the perfect opportunity to break it off, for god\'s sake take it!* Snape thought wildly.

\'Of course not,\' he found himself saying. *I must be mad*

Harry\'s face lit up. Quickly he got off Snape\'s lap and held out his hand.

\'Then let\'s go to bed,\'

Snape felt the hunger rising within him at Harry\'s words and took the offered hand, allowing himself to be led to the bedroom.

\'This isn\'t a good idea,\' he still protested, only to be silenced by a kiss.
\'Stop thinking so much,\' whispered Harry against his lips whilst undoing his robes. \'Just feel.\'

*Oh well I\'ve already got my place in hell booked, I might as well enjoy the ride.* And with that thought he gave himself over to the moment, pushing any misgivings to the back of his mind...

Much later Snape woke up from a light doze to find Harry asleep on his chest. Gently he shook the boy awake. Harry looked up at him with tired eyes.

\'What?\' he murmured.

\'It\'s late, you\'d better get back to your dormitory.\' Snape said brusquely, already regretting that he had given in to the boy.

\'Okay,\' he yawned, untangling himself from Snape. As he got dressed he commented that it was a good thing he had brought his invisibility cloak. Snape\'s eyes narrowed.

\'So you presumed this would happen?\'

\'I hoped,\' replied Harry with a faint smile.

After Harry had gone, Snape realised that they had resolved nothing. Next time they met, he would have to be a lot stronger...

Meanwhile Harry had got back to the entrance to Gryffindor tower with no run-withwith Filch or anyone else. The fat lady had given up long ago on worrying about students being out after curfew and merely opened up without comment when he uttered the password.

Harry started to head for his dormitory when he was stopped by someone saying his name. It was Ron. He had obviously been waiting for him.

\'No need to ask where you\'ve been,\' Ron said dryly.

\'No,\' replied Harry simply, not wanting to antagonise. \'Were you waiting for me?\'

\'Yes...I\'ve come to a decision...\'