Dreams No Mortal Ever Dreamed Before

Another chapter and I hope most of you are still with me. This is my newest plot twist, something more to torture Harry and Sev with. This story is not as smut heavy as Control but I hope you do not mind the plot. Tell me what you think!


Madamdragon- The story was written when I started to post it. But these chapters were written in the last two days, therefore the delay in posting. I do not want to keep my readers waiting for weeks, I hate that when I read a story. I usually avoid WIP. But with me you can be relatively sure that once you read something, it will be finished.


36. Choke on it


Sun drifted into the room through the half open curtains when Harry woke from some of the rays tickling his skin. He uncurled from his comfortable place nestled into the arms of his lover and was pleased when it was easy to move.


Staring at Severus he gently brushed over his cheek, the elder wizard muttering something obviously not pleased.


Ah yes, he surely was not a morning person. Grinning Harry leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on his closed lips. When he got no reaction he chuckled and rose from the bed to walk into the kitchen. Surely the work with those physiowizards had paid off and he gradually gained back control over his body.


With a flick of his wand eggs and bacon floated over and he began to prepare their breakfast.


He was still a little embarrassed by his breakdown, preferring to not talk about it but so many things had happened in such a quick succession that it was bound to happen. Last night during their love making he had felt confident and self assured for the first time since the battle but here in the broad daylight he still was not convinced that he was worth what Severus had given up for him.


He evaded those talks, with his psychologist and Severus and that feeling of panic, the horrible fear of being left alone was still present. He had began to change his ways to please Severus, going so far as helping him in his potion lab and spending a ridiculous amount of time with his lover.


“Good morning,” Severus whispered into Harry's hair as he embraced him from behind. He peered into the pan while his hands were rubbing soothing circles over Harry's stomach. “That smells delicious.”


He could not help but blush and Severus ruffled his hair while he flicked his wand to set the table. Dividing their breakfast on two plates Harry sat down and began to eat, all the while watching his lover from under his fringe.


“That tastes great,” Severus said with one of those short smiles that lightened up his whole face. “How long do you need to pack?”


Looking up from his breakfast Harry smiled. “I do not need long.”


“We will use a portkey to get there. It is a beautiful resort owned by a witch and a wizard who used to live here in London.”


“Really? Why did they leave?” Harry asked while he charmed the kitchen to clean itself.


Severus smirked. “Let me guess- why they would leave a country with constant rain and bad weather to live on an island where the sun shines down al year around.”


“I get it,” Harry said rising from his chair. “Have you packed yet?”


Severus nodded. “Actually I already packed yesterday when you were in the shower. There is a suitcase in the closet, you can use that.”


As soon as Harry arrived in a lush tropical garden he knew he would love it here. There were palm trees everywhere, a soft breeze touched their cheeks and the sun was shining through the trees.


Once they had been showed their little cottage Severus used the bathroom while Harry stood at the window to let his gaze rest on the beautiful landscape. It was breathtaking really, especially since he had never been anywhere else but Surrey and Hogwarts.


Of course that was his own fault.


Now, where had that thought come from? Harry frowned as he considered that when the door to the bathroom opened and Severus walked out.


“Do you want to go to the beach?” he asked.


Turning around Harry nodded and Severus pointed to the bathroom.


“You better change into your shorts then. You do not plan to go there in your jeans?”


Shaking his head Harry went in and undressed, wanting to put on his shorts when he saw his reflection in the window.


You are really ugly.


Was he? He was still skinny and his hair was a mess- why would Severus settle for him? With all his handicaps. If he could have somebody like Zabini?


The longer he stared at himself, the more did he feel his self confidence shrink to almost nothing. Averting his eyes he sighed and put on his blue shorts and a tshirt. He did not feel like revealing his battered body to the world.


Severus was outside dressed in brown shorts and a white shirt and he smiled at Harry but in his mind it was an expression of pity.


“Ready to go?”


Harry nodded but kept silent following his lover through the lush garden until they reached the beach. It was a private one with only a couple of other hotel guests and they placed their towels under a shady palm tree that swayed in the wind.


He sank down on his blue towel but could not bring himself to take off his shirt. He had no idea where these nasty thoughts came from but it was fuel on his fears of losing Severus.


“Are you all right?” Severus asked putting on some sun blocker.


Quickly Harry nodded. He had freaked out enough, if he had another crisis Severus would surely leave him. He stretched out on the towel closing his eyes to block out the sun.


Thankfully Severus did not mention his state of dress very likely assuming that he was not used to the sun. For a while nothing was said until Harry heard the elder wizard sigh.


“What is wrong Harry?”


Keeping his eyes closed Harry tried to act nonchalant. “Nothing.”


“You have to learn to talk to me,” Severus softly said and Harry felt a shadow as his lover bent over him. “If you keep everything to yourself, you are going to choke on it.”


“I am fine.” He had no idea where the irritation in his voice came from but it was there.


Severus was obviously not impressed but kept his voice light.


“Are you? I beg to differ.”


Was that impatience and anger in his voice? He had tried so hard to please the other wizard, why was he ruining everything now? But he surely would not let on about it feelings of inadequacy so he kept quiet.


“Fine, you want to give me the silent treatment? It is not me who you are hurting but yourself.”


Harry heard him settling back down on his towel after a moment of silence and he felt tears welling up in his eyes.


Pinching them closed he tried to will them away but they slowly rolled down his cheek to accumulate on the sand.


“I am sorry,” he whispered and he felt a warm hand on his cheek.


“Look at me Harry.”


Reluctantly he opened his eyes and Severus tenderly brushed the wetness from his cheek.


“I am aware it is hard for you to come to terms with your life after Riddle but with shutting yourself off from other people you are letting him win.”


“I just feel so... worthless sometimes,” Harry whispered. “I am a liability-”


“Nonsense.” Severus said. “You are a gift Harry.” When he saw Harry's unbelieving expression he pulled him into his arms. “If I were on my own I would be miserable and lonely. Sometimes at night I wonder why you chose me. Why something as lovely as you decided to keep a bitter old man company.”


“You are not-” Harry started but was interrupted.


“Everybody has feelings of inadequacy, doubts about their self worth and regrets but it is in other people who love us where we find solace.”


“I feel the same,” Harry said softly after a moment. “Since I woke up in the hospital after the battle I have been terrified of being alone. It makes me sick to my stomach just the thought of you leaving.”


Severus smiled. “How could I? I would cease living my life and only existing.” His hand trailed down Harry's torso and he began to draw lazy circles on it.


Harry felt his cock hardening and it was difficult to concentrate on anything else but the touch.


Severus chuckled. “Is everything all right?” His hand widened the circular motion slowly until it brushed over Harry's erection.


The younger wizard could not stifle a soft moan and tried to turn away but strong arms kept him in place.


“What do you want me to do?” Severus sounded completely composed and his hand stopped its movement to hover next to the one spot where Harry wanted to be touched.


He gritted his teeth to keep from coming just from the innocent touches.


“Not here,” he said.


“Why not?” Severus asked leaning down to whisper into Harry's ear. “That is actually a fantasy of mine.”


Harry could not help but blush. “Everybody can see us.”


“We just have to be silent,” he said and nuzzled Harry's neck. “Does the thought of doing it here not arouse you? It adds a certain element of danger to it that is highly seductive.”


His hand cupped Harry's cock, massaging it through the fabric of his shorts and Harry had to hide his face against his cruel lover's body.


It just took a couple of touches more until he came biting into Severus leg to keep from moaning, causing the elder wizard to flinch.


When his breathing was under control again Harry grunted.


“Serves you right.”


Severus casually flicked his wand to clean Harry up and stretched back out on his towel.


“Remove your shirt now.”


Obediently he did and eventually stretched out on his own towel enjoying the sensation of the wind and the warm sun on his skin.


“It is not so easily fixed,” he muttered.


“I am aware of that,” Severus said in his collected voice.


With a sigh Harry closed his eyes and dozed in the sun until he was nudged awake by his lover.


“Time for supper,” Severus said already rising from the ground.


Harry uncurled his body and slowly sat up. And indeed the sun was beginning to set over the water so he hurried to gather his stuff and followed Severus to their bungalow.


The evening passed and Harry enjoyed himself with some glasses of wine and a delicious meal. Once they returned to their suite, Severus devoured him in their bed until he was exhausted enough to fall asleep.


He must have slept in because when he awoke Severus was already up. Uncurling himself Harry put on his pyjama pants and hearing voices from the living room he went to investigate.


Severus kneeled on the ground in front of the fire place and the head of Dumbledore floated in the green flames.


“Good morning Harry,” he cheerily greeted and turned back to the elder wizard. “See that Harry makes the appointment. Such a thing needs to be carefully monitored especially in Harry's physical condition.”


When the fireplace went silent Harry frowned flopping down on the couch.


“What was he talking about? What appointment?”


His lover chose to ignore his question, his black eyes obviously far away and he only snapped out of it when breakfast appeared on the table.


“Eat something,” he ordered sounding a lot like the teacher he once had been. When Harry wanted to object his face went cold. “Do as I say!”


With wide open eyes Harry stared at his lover, having not heard this tone of voice for a long time. Whatever Dumbledore had told him, had shaken him to the core and that was what scared Harry. If Severus was undone by something, it must have been something awful.


“Not until you tell me what happened,” Harry insisted.


Severus spun around and focused the weight of his black eyes on Harry that made shivers run down his body.


“We will have to leave early, you have an appointment with Dribble this afternoon.” When Harry wanted to interrupt he raised his hand. “Please Harry, there is no reason to burden you with a pure speculation. I promise, you will be informed once we are at the hospital.”


When Harry made no move to start his breakfast Severus sat down next to him and gripped his chin.


“Trust me on this, like you trust me to take care of you. Please.”


Reluctantly Harry nodded and began to eat from his scrambled egg feeling a little nauseous, not needing another catastrophe now.


Severus began to pack their suitcases while Harry dressed and they touched a portkey that took them to the main hall of the hospital.


Anybody wanna guess what is wrong with Harry? Poor boy, not getting a break...