The long and winding road to love
The order of the phoenix
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FOR THE DELAY! Chapter 37 took AGES to write - the heat here is unbearable-.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>What’s
more, when I finally finished it, I tried to open chapter 36 to add the Author’s
note and was amazed to discover that it wasn’t there! I had to re-type it all
over again! So, please, try to understand the delay. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Thanks
for your comments on the story. I answered all reviews for chapter 35 on my LJ:
EN-GB'>
EN-GB'>on
You can take a look at it, if you want.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>That’s
all for now; here it is… chapter 36…. Enjoy!
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Chapter
36: The order of the Phoenix
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>It
is essential for human beings to have hope; to be able to trust that something
better awaits in the near future for without hope we
have no reason to live or die.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>And
believe me when I tell you that there are certain things about life that people
consider good enough to stay down here for a while. Depending on how well you
behave during your residence in planet earth you may change it into “up here”,
so it can suit your needs.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Yes.
What would come after death? Is there something after passing away? Severus
needed to be honest with himself and face the fact that he had no real believes
and that he trusted no religion. In simpler words, he had faith in nothing and
thus it was only logical for him to be sad. He was going to die; he would cease
to exist and that would be the end of it. You see, scientist such as Severus
Snape, who believe only in what can be proved, sustain the statement that mass-
material- can only be transformed; it cannot be destroyed. So a part of him was
glad that his body would repose forever in the fertile grounds of
EN-GB'>England
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EN-GB'>But what about his soul?
essence, transform as well and found itself reduced to only a couple of atoms? Can
souls be destroyed? Why do Christians support the sentence: “for as long as you
both shall live”, if love is an eternal emotion? Would Hermione re marry and
fulfil her promise and if so, could she have two husbands in heaven- where
there is no pain, where there is no suffering- or would she be put in the
position of choosing between the both?
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>All
those silly questions ran through his head while he travelled by Floo Network
from Dumbledore’s chambers, where he had placed the body on the Old Wizard’s
bed, to
EN-GB'>, the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters and his home away from home.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-lage:Ege:EN-GB'>“Blessed
be those who believe and yet they have not seen,” he said to himself,
remembering a passage he had once read as a young adult in a Christian Bible, “yes,
bless them,” he stated out loud while his head reflected about hose words, “bless
them because they can say: ‘I feel’ instead of ‘I think’,”
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>It
was impossible for Severus Snape to know something and do nothing about it even
if every fibre of his body kept telling him to stay still because there was no
way of surviving the rage of those with the Dark Mark.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>And
because of that, he felt scared, frightened about what was to come. He was in
the correct road to become a traitor and a hero, a fool and a martyr before the
eyes of both sides: the good one and the dark one.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Unfortunately
for Severus Snape,
Grimmauld Place
appeared in front of his eyes before he could even finish that thought. He was
home at last:p><:p>
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Cleaning
the dust from his impeccable black robes, he stood from the floor and walked towards
the stairs that would take him to the floor where the kitchen was situated.
Sure enough, everyone would be there drinking their black coffees to stay awake
or in Molly’s case, baking cookies for the Weasley children and Harry to devour
while waiting for further orders. They needed to stay awake and entertaining their
jaws with healthy sweets seemed the appropriate choice.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>When
he opened the kitchen door, he was not amazed to find the same situation he had
pictured in his mind: George and Fred Weasley were desperately trying to gain
everyone’s attention by eating all of Molly’s cookies at once even though Ron,
Harry and Ginny seemed too interested in their Chocolate Frog cards to notice
the twins. The older members of the order, however, looked rather shabby with
their coffee mugs filled with Colombian nectar and Severus was able to image
why because their sorrows equalled his. Uncertainty is far worse than a horrid
perspective of the future; not knowing can drive anyone insane.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Why
isn’t Hermione with you, Professor Snape?,” Ron asked,
standing up from his wooden stool once Severus’ presence could be depicted by
everybody.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“She
is sleeping, Mr. Weasley,” he truthfully answered, coughing several times in
order to clear his throat and announce the death of Hogwarts most beloved
Headmaster.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“But
sir,” Ginny interrupted this time, “She told me she wanted to be here when…”,
she started to say but Harry disrupted her speech with a kiss on her freckly
cheeich ich made her blush and stop talking.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Ginny,
don’t you see that Professor Snape here is trying to protect little Hermione
her from you, sir, when we all knew for a fact that your actions were immoral and
your marriage illegal?,” he asked sarcastically, standing up from the wooden
stool and walking all the way to where Severus was standing, a few centimetres
near the kitchen’s door.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Mr.
Potter, you are just as stupid as your father when he was your age,” Severus
said between his teeth for no one to hear, “Do you wish to become a hero, Mr.
Potter? Then, be a man and quit acting like a child because this time there
will be no Dumbledore to defend you,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Delivering the news to the rest of the group in such a rude manner seemed inappropriate
and impolite of him.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What
do you mean?,” Harry enquired, forgetting all
formalities. He looked calmer, as if the sudden news had tamed his rebel
spirit.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Mr.
Potter, Albus Dumbledore is dead,” he confessed, trying to hide his feelings
from the rest of the world even if the pain was horrible and unbearable.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What
He trusted you and you killed him!,” the boy-who-lived
said for everyone to hear while closing his hands into fists. Severus Snape needed
to pay for his actions. He had killed the only father he ever knew; he had
killed Dumbledore. He had been right all along: Snape was nothing more than a
Death Eater working for the Dark Side.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Fortunately
for Severus, the feminine voice of wisdom- Minerva McGonagall- interrupted
their private chat.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Harry,
dear,” Professor McGonagall said from behind them while Ron wrapped Harry with
both his arms in order to prevent him from beating Severus. “The professor has important
news for us all,” she said, catching the attention of the rest of the members.
When all heads had turned into their direction, she added in a murmur, “Where
is Albus, Severus?,”
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Swallowing
hard, Severus tried to find the courage he needed to tell the Order of the
Phoenix that Dumbledore was dead even if he knew first hand that no wizard had
the necessary audacity to break such news. Without Dumbledore, the Wizarding
World was left with no hope. And without hope, as I said before, there is no
reason to live or die: nothing matters any more.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Professor
Dumbledore is dead,” he clearly said. For
a moment there, there was utter silence. Who can dare speak after such terrible
words?
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What
do you mean by “dead”, Professor Snape?,” Molly Weasley said, breaking the
silence while rubbing her dirty hands in her apron, “because, Professor, Arthur
will be here from the Ministry any moment now and I don’t want to disturb him
with false information. Albus cannot be dead, Professor Snape… you know that.
Explain yourself, please,” she stated, giggling like a schoolgirl. No. Albus
could not be dead; it was impossible. She must have misunderstood Professor Snape.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Mrs.
Weasley, I am afraid that Albus Dumbledore is, indeed, dead. There is nothing I
or any of you can do about it. The plan we elaborated, however, may make all
the difference,” he said, in front of a group of sobbing men and women known
for their courage. Yet now they looked like vulnerable children whose parent
would be no longer there to protect them.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>With
one last deep breath, Severus told them everything just like Dumbledore had
done with him a couple of days ago.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“That
means that…,” Ginny said, speechless, “that means that…,” she tried to state,
but she had run out of words. The scheme wa cle clever, yet so dangerous. She
couldn’t find the proper group of syllables to articulate the turmoil of
emotions she was feelings at the moment, so she stopped talking for there was
no real need for words. Everyone had obviously understood the plan and judging
by the look on their faces, Severus could tell that he had given them optimism
again even if he had lost it forever.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“My
presence is required elsewhere, I am afraid,” he said, looking for the first
time at Harry Potter who had fresh tears in his light blue eyes, “Lucius is
rather impatient and making him wait will not make things any easier,” he
explained, still looking at Harry. Those eyes reminded him of Lily so much that
the pain of one thousand stubs invaded his chest in no time when the memory of
Harry’s mother reappeared from the back of his memory.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Murderer,”
Harry gesticulated for only Severus to comprehend. And he had understood
indeed.
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glanced for the very last time at the Order of the
EN-GB'>Phoenix
There was a very good change that this would become the last time he wouver
ver
see them all together and alive again and that was an excruciating thought to
have even for a tough man such as Severus. Walking out of the kitchen and
towards the stairs where the Floo Network would communicate him with Lucius
Malfoy, he reminded himself to stay calm because Lucius would not hesitate in
killing them all. The wrong word, the unsuitable gesture and his heart would
beat no longer.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>But
it was pointless to think about it.
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style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Trebuchet MS";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Throwing
some green powder into the flames which roared green with the fury of one
million lions, Severus’ head appeared at Malfoy Manor.
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