Bonds of Affection

It was still early in the morning, when Severus and Harry made it out of the bedroom. Just as Harry was about to head to the kitchen and make breakfast, a firecall came in from Hogwarts. McGonagall addressed them from the firecall connection.



“It began,” she said without a preamble. “The school has been evacuated – fortunately, not many students were on premises, given that we are on holidays. The members of the Order and the teams of Aurors are gathering to search the school, the grounds, and surrounding area, in the attempt to find and destroy the Horcruxes that we suspect are still around. Please remain where you are and make sure Harry does the same.”



Harry opened his mouth to protest, but Severus covered it with his palm.



“We will. Please keep us updated,” he said quickly.



“I am not sure how much I will be able to,” McGonagall said reluctantly. “We are shutting down the Floo network and all communications until it's over.”



“Understood,” Severus said.



Minerva regarded him cautiously. “We expect that Voldemort will attempt to intervene. We have been told that he had summoned Lucius Malfoy. Possibly some others. Do you expect he will summon you to participate?”



“I doubt it,” Severus said quietly. “I am certain that in his mind, I am more valuable to him as a spy at this point.”



“The joys of being a double agent,” Minerva said dryly. “Good day, Severus.”



When the connection terminated, Harry glared at Severus furiously. “We should be there. We should be helping....”



Severus shook his head. He himself wanted nothing better than to be there, looking for the damned Horcruxes, and fighting... but he knew that blowing his cover now, of all times, was not an option. And as for Harry...



“We will wait here,” Severus said with a finality in his voice.



For a few minutes they sat in the living room, Severus staring in front of himself vacantly, and Harry, fidgeting, until finally, Harry got up and went to his bedroom. Severus followed him closely, and watched in silence as Harry searched through his belongings, first calmly, then desperately, emptying everything out of the trunk onto the floor, and rummaging through his possessions.



“It's not here,” Harry said sullenly.



“What?” Severus demanded.



“The Marauder's Map,” Harry said. “It shows movements of every person at Hogwarts... where they are, where they are going. .. it's not here.”



Severus frowned. “Do you know where you may have left it?”



Harry shook his head. “Don't know. I hope I didn't drop it at Hog's Head while I was drinking with Trelawney...”



Harry fell on the bed on his back and shut his eyes. Severus walked out of the bedroom, and went to his study. He could not focus on any of his readings, and eventually just sat there numbly, staring into a text in front of him, unable to absorb a single word from it. Harry walked in an hour later, and said,



“I am going to the Burrow.”



“Absolutely not,” Severus said gravely. “You are not leaving my side.”



Harry gave him an odd look. “Then you'd better come with me, because I am going, whether you want it or not.”



Severus rose an eyebrow. “You think so?”



“Look, I would rather do it with your permission, but I will do it anyways. You can cane the living daylights out of me when I come back.”



Severus swore inwardly. Going to the Burrow at a time like this was not the best course of action – the last thing he needed was attract attention to himself and be found in the house of the members of the Order. But Harry's face was determined, and Severus relented, imagining the agony Harry must have been feeling at not even being close to his two best friends at this time.



They firecalled the Burrow, and then, Floo'd in. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione greeted them quietly. Arthur, Molly, Charlie, Bill, Fred and George had gone to Hogwarts, Ron advised them.



“Marauder's Map?” Harry asked. “Did the twins take it?”



“Yeah,” Ron said sheepishly. “They were going to ask you for it, but then... your stuff was here when you – you know... came over that night, so they just lifted it. They figured they didn't want you to know something was up until the day it happened. Sorry...”



“No problem,” Harry said with a strained smile. “Hope it comes handy...”



A strained silence ensued, and lasted for a while. From time to time, either Ron or Ginny attempted to strike up a conversation, but it fizzled out almost immediately. Hermione smiled a little and said, in a muted whisper:



“Waiting for Godot.”



Blank looks answered her. Severus was the only one who recognized the reference, as far as he could tell; an Muggle play, where heroes spent their lives in tense anticipation of someone's arrival, doing anything, from swapping hats to contemplating suicide, just to 'hold the terrible silence at bay'.



“Nothing to be done,” Severus told her quietly, and she glanced up at him in surprise, recognizing the quote from the play.



“Guess not,” she agreed reluctantly.



It was late evening, when the Floo finally opened, and one by one, Molly, Arthur, George, Bill and Charlie emerged. From the looks on their faces, Severus could tell that something horrible had happened, and he barely opened his mouth to ask, when Ginny jumped to her feet, and cried out loud:



“Where is Fred!”



Ron leapt to his feet as well, and stared at his parents and brothers.



“What happened?” he demanded.



Molly just shook her head.



Severus and Harry sat in absolute silence, neither daring to speak, even to offer regrets.



“How?” Ron asked finally.



“He died in fiendfyre, destroying one of the Horcruxes,” George said. “He did it. He destroyed the cup. There was no other way.”



Severus stood up and extended his hand to Arthur Weasley. “My condolences for your loss,” he said.



Arthur shook his hand as quickly as he could and nodded mutely. Then, Arthur's gaze fixed on Harry, and Harry stared back at him.



“I am sorry,” Harry said weakly.



“I am sorry too,” Arthur told him. “Harry...”



Harry stared at him.



“What? Someone... someone else died?” Harry asked.



Arthur nodded briefly, struggling to speak.



“Who?” Harry stammered.



“Remus... Remus Lupin.”



Harry bit his lip, hard, and choked back a sob.



“How?” he whispered.



“One of the Death Eaters killed him... in an attempt to recover one of the Horcruxes.”



Harry nodded dejectedly. Severus placed his hand on Harry's shoulder, but Harry shook it off angrily.



Severus hesitated asking the next logical question, but Arthur had anticipated it, and said quickly:



“Three Horcruxes were destroyed today. The Cup, the Diadem, and the Locket.”



Severus nodded. Only two were remaining, he thought – Nagini, who was always with Voldemort, and Harry.



He glanced at Harry, who was standing quietly, staring at his feet.



“Shall we go home?” Severus asked softly.



“Yes, Sir,” Harry said.



They Floo'd back to the Manor. Severus watched Harry with concern. Harry's face was contorted with anger and pain.



“I shouldn't have listened. Should have gone to Hogwarts,” Harry said bitterly. “If I had been there...”



Severus shook his head. “Harry. I am truly sorry for your loss,” he said quietly.



Harry shot him an incredulous look. “You don't need to say things you don't mean on my behalf,” he said stiffly. “I'll live.”



Severus issued a deep sigh. “I do mean it,” he said. “I realize that Remus and I were not ... friendly...”



Harry laughed bitterly. “No kidding. Look... I appreciate you trying to humor me... but don't. You hated him. You feuded with him for the entire year that he'd taught at Hogwarts. Finally, you forced him to resign.”



Severus took a deep breath. “Yes,” he agreed. “Except, I did not hate him. I was angry and scared, but I did not hate him.”



Harry glared at him. “Angry and scared, and why, exactly?” he asked sceptically.



“I was angry, because he was getting close to you, but never thought to tell you he was a werewolf. Albus himself asked me not to reveal his condition to anyone... which made me even angrier. I was scared that one full moon, he'd forget to take Wolfsbane, and you'd be near him...”



Harry's face paled a little. “Just like it happened,” he muttered. “I .. lately I just assumed you hated him because he was one of the Marauders... because he had tormented you, along with my father and Sirius...”



Severus shook his head. “He never had. For what it's worth, out of the four Marauders, he was the most... inoffensive one. He never bullied me, and as far as I could tell, he had no ill feelings towards me. At times I thought he was never really a part of that little gang.”



Harry sniffled a little. “But he never spoke up for you either, did he?” he asked.



Severus did not answer that, and Harry smiled unpleasantly. “I didn't think so. You know – what you are telling me doesn't make it better. It makes it worse. He didn't even despise you – and he just stood by and watched? And did nothing?”



Severus shrugged. “Look... Harry. Whatever he did, or did not do at sixteen... he'd lived a decent life since then, and died a hero. For that matter, so did Sirius and so did your father. That's more than I can say for myself. Try not to brood too much over the things of the past.”




Harry looked at him in stunned silence and then left with nothing more than a brief, resentful shrug.