The Pains of Becoming

@SightSoBlind:

Hello there! Thanks so much for reviewing! I am very excited about every review especially when they are as postive as yours! Thanks so much! What a huge compliment!



@Mary Jane:

thanks for reviewing again! It means a lot to me!

I am sorry about the squickyness! –But you know I like to challenge you ;) You know I really don’t know what would be the best for Kirsty. I could imagine if Lucius wants to keep her she would be fine staying with him. Staying with Snape, well, I believe if Snape was up for it it could be the most ideal unien, but you know how I see Snape and I just don’t see him as a relationship guy, and surely not with a student! But then he actually surprised me that he let Kirsty that close in his last chapter…. And I am talking as though I don’t know how it ends, haha.

And you are right, there is only that much abuse and cruelty you can take. I think it is important for Kirsty to have something to look forward to, to know what this cruelty is worth.. Lucius has taken that from her now and also she realises what she had with Snape and her whole perspective has changed a bit. I think by beeing away from Lucius she has won some distance and now being back with him things have changed a bit for her , and she is a bit alienated by herself not being quite as willing anymore. But then again, her connection to him is so strong she really is not in charge of herself anymore.

And yeah I can’t see a party with Lucius friends to be too joyfull for her.



But lets see:..this is part one of the Finale, and Ari was so kind to beta it so that you don’t get all confused with my writing.

Thanks a lot for your hard work Ari!



---------------------------------------------------------





Chapter 35

Finale Part 1: A Sense Lost



She spent several hours by herself in this room, starting to wonder where exactly she was. Was this part of that strange location she had been to before, which accommodated the cold large hall… had all of the other places Lucius had taken her too been in fact in the same building? It started to upset her when she realized how little she knew.



Eventually Lucius came back, he held the door open and did not speak. She followed him out of the room and they entered a corridor. She did not think this place belonged to the location with the large hall after all. This clearly was a large country house. It could have been part of Malfoy Manor, but she doubted very strongly he would take her anywhere near his home. Maybe this was something like a holiday retreat somewhere else.



He led her to a large drawing room with a grand fireplace, marble floors and several sofas and arm chairs. The walls were painted in mint green and white and covered in classic paintings. There were two large windows assumingly with a view over the English countryside. Kirsty could only guess, it was dark ouside and the only thing she could hear was the howling wind against the window. The room was illuminated with enchanted candles that hovered around along the walls. She stopped in the middle of the room and observed Lucius as he walked over to a liquor cabinet and poured a glass of wine. He turned and held it silently in her direction. She slowly stepped forward and took it from him.



“Thank you,” she said but kept looking worried and suspicious.



“Loosen up, my pet. This is a party, not a trial.”



He scooped her into his arms and bit her earlobe softly.



“Sit down somewhere and relax,” he whispered.



She felt like asking him again what he was planning, for this was surely not going to be a normal party, at least not for her. There was a reason why he had her dress up like this and there had to be a very good reason why he let her join one of his parties, after having said that he was never going to let her become one of them. She had a bad feeling, but she did not want to worry, she wanted to enjoy being with him. Suddenly she felt it was easy to push all those worries away as he softly pushed her towards a sofa and followed her down onto it. He kissed her face and her neck and she bend her head back to give him more access. She could feel him grab her left breast through her school sweater and she felt something stirring with need inside her further down.



But he stopped suddenly as they both could hear voices. Lucius looked at her and smiled:



”Guests,” he only said, got up and left the room.



Kirsty had another quick gulp from her glass and sat up straight. Her heart started beating harder. She did not know what kind of people his guests would be and what kind of part he expected her to play. She wanted to be classy and well mannered and sure of herself, but that was the role of his wife. Still Narcissa Malfoy was not here, what kind of party could he give, without his wife being around. Death Eaters? Maybe, but definitely male, she was sure somehow, and with her wearing the school uniform, it would have seemed silly to try to be more than a school girl. But how was a Hogwarts student supposed to act in this situation: like an abducted victim? She had come willingly and she would not see herself as a victim. So what was she meant to do? She decided to remain passive, and simply wait for what was expected of her. But she also decided not to appear scared or intimidated. She was here because she wanted to be here.



She could hear Lucius coming back. The door opened and a man entered, followed by Lucius. She did not remember having seen this man before, he was tall, like Lucius, maybe taller, he had black slightly curly hair, cut above his shoulder and a beard. He looked handsome, and a bit intimidating, but not creepy, in the way some of the other Death Eaters had appeared to her. Maybe he was just some pure blooded friend of Lucius, a cousin of some sort maybe? But then he was wearing all black robes and his eyes had a green spark, that made her somehow nervous, as though it was telling her that something was wrong with this man, even though he seemed perfectly normal. He stopped when he spotted Kirsty. He looked a little startled. Obviously Lucius had not told him that she would be here.





“What the hell is this? Did Draco forget to take his girlfriend back home? Or did she just take the wrong turn in the floo network?”



Lucius ignored his question and walked over to pour his guest a drink. When he handed it to him he said.



“No, it’s quite alright. She’s mine,” he looked at her as he continued, “she did some good work for us at Hogwarts,” he shrug, “now that’s over and I thought”, he looked at his friend “and you know I don’t like to waste things.”



The stranger looked at her for a moment and then walked towards her. He stopped right in front of her and looked down at her. She was unsure whether she should get up or remain seated. He only continued looking down at her as though she was a new piece of furniture that Lucius had wanted to show him. He took a gulp from his drink.



“I don’t suppose her family cares, then?” he asked with mild interest.



“Her family doesn’t matter.”, Lucius replied casually as he turned back to the cabinet and rearranged the bottles, “Her mother is dead, her father is a muggle.”



“So your mother was a blood betraying whore, was she?”



Kirsty dropped her head, to not show the anger she was struggling with at this.



“What’s with the outfit?”



“You don’t drape house elves in expensive curtains to make them look like noble women, do you?”



The stranger laughed and almost coughed up his drink. Lucius continued:



“And still, house elves have their uses, so does she. It’s about the particular service something has to offer.”



“And what does a Hogwarts student have to offer?” He asked and continued to look down at Kirsty. She finally got a feeling of where this was likely to be heading.



Lucius abandoned the cabinet and stepped beside his friend to look down at Kirsty, too. He bent his head slightly and continued looking as though he had never really considered her, then he said: “I’m not sure I can explain it. I can’t help having Dumbledore’s visage in my mind, as he sits in his castle clueless chewing his dinner while I molest one of those kids that he has sworn to keep save while it is me who is educating them.”



The other man laughed again.



“The other is just…well, I suppose you just have to try it out yourself…”



Kirsty tensed and did not dare to move or look up, expecting to be grabbed by one or the other. But Lucius simply turned away again and left the room as there had appeared more voices outside. She was frozen to her seat and continued to stare at the floor. That stranger was possibly still staring at her. She could hear him swallowing his drink. Then he said quietly:



“Can you move and talk cause even muggles and house elves can do that?”



She looked up carefully, entirely frightened. He only smiled.



“You like him?” he asked and motioned to the door Lucius had disappeared through.



She nodded.



He took another gulp from his glass.



“Hope to be in his marriage bed one day, instead of his wife?”



She shook her head and said quietly: “No.”

How stupid did he think she was?



“So, what is it then? You realized you have been stupid to get mixed up with him and now you wish he would let you go home?”



She shook her head again: “I only wish to serve him… for a long time,” she added, still fearing for her life a little bit.



He looked back at her mildly surprised and finally said: “That’s nice. I think I might get myself one of your sort.”



She wanted to tell him there weren’t more like her, that she was special for her commitment, but she did not want to give him the idea to claim her, so she kept quiet. Then the door opened again and two more men entered again followed by Lucius.



Kirsty remembered her glass and picked it up to be able to hold something and to look at least remotely breezy.



The chatting died down immediately as the two new guests saw her. The dark haired man turned to them and made a dismissive gesture “It’s just his Hogwarts pet.”



That seemed to be good enough explanation for the two, because they simply continued talking about a meeting they had been to recently, as it seemed. Kirsty easily picked up that it was a Death Eaters meeting. She thought she probably had met one of the two before in the hall. She was pretty sure he had been one in the group that Snape was saving her from one day. To her great relieve he did not seem to be too interested in her now and he took a glass of wine from Lucius and sat down with his friend. Lucius tapped something with his wand that looked like an old gramophone and it started playing some slow jazzy tune. Two more men strolled in shortly later, one of them, she knew as McNair, he gave her a shifty look when he saw her but Kirsty suddenly got distracted as she noticed what the other man was carrying. It was the Book of Forgotten Curses. He placed it into the candlelight on a desk by a row of shelves. A few of them gathered around it, staring at it in deep thought. Others poured themselves drinks and soon the room was full of animated talk and debate. From what Kirsty could hear they where debating different curses from the book and which ones to use how. But since she had no idea what kind of curses exactly were hiding behind their strange Latin names she felt not much wiser when she was overhearing them.



Kirsty remained alone sitting on the other side of the room by herself, ironing her pleated skirt on her knee with her palm. She did not know whether to be glad to be ignored or not. But next time she dared to look around she spotted Lucius across the room from her sitting in an armchair. He looked right back at her and patted his knee. Her heart gave a jolt and she did not care that she suddenly felt very much like his lapdog. She took her glass and walked over to him, he motioned her to sit on his knee. She followed his wish and he refilled her glass. She noticed that a few of his guests looked up momentarily, though they continued talking. Lucius seemed to be patiently listening to someone’s idea of how to reconstruct some curse to make it more effective but did not share his own opinion. He started to give his physical attention to Kristy, which made her heart beat harder in her chest. His hand sneaked under her skirt and/to stroke the mark on her inner thigh absentmindedly as it seemed. He was not hurting her, he was touching her without it being a punishment, she felt almost instantly dizzy at her luck and the feeling of his hand caressing her, rather than hurting her. The fact that other people were in the room did worry her, but it also excited her more just a little bit.



Soon his hand had moved deeper and stroking the fabric that covered her secret place so lightly, it was hardly noticeable. She could feel herself getting wet, greedily awaiting more. She emptied her glass, enjoying the lightheaded and out-of-control feeling it gave her. Yet she tried hard not to make it obvious how much she was enjoying herself.



Then he suddenly came close to her ear and whispered: “Take off your sweater.”



She hesitated but then took it off, it had become rather warm anyway. He refilled her glass. And as she began drinking again, she felt him opening the top buttons of her shirt and loosening her tie. She let his fingers slide over her exposed neck and she closed her eyes. That was when she noticed the other man had stopped talking. Had he gone away or was he watching? Why would she care? She tried to concentrate on Lucius’ touch but he did not continue further and instead pushed her off his knee. She opened her eyes. She found his icy grey eyes glaring at her and he pushed her all the way on the floor before him.



“Remember how it works, pet?”



She looked up and nodded, then turned her attention to the buttons on his trousers and started opening them. She took her time, she wanted to do this better than she had ever done before. She wanted him to realize there was good reason to keep her alive.



She put all her effort into keeping her hands from shaking as she took his cock into her hands and into her mouth.



She took the continues talking of the rest of the guests as reassurance that people did not take notice or did not care of what she was doing. She tightened her lips around him, sucking his cook, massaging it with her tongue. The noise in the room was loud enough so she dared to softly moan around him to give it some extra sensations. She gained his approval when his hand gripped her around the back of her neck and held her tightly in place. He liked what she was doing for him, he wanted her to continue, she was worth something for him right now. The moment was precious. She filled up with pride. As time went by and her mouth grew tired and her lips started to burn she grew more comfortable doing this while other people were in the room and she surprised herself by wanting to show off, teasing him with her tongue, let her teeth slide over his hard cook for a sudden moment, challenging him for a reaction, but if he was reacting, she was not able to hear it against the talking of the guests and the bewitched music that was quietly distorting the background noise. But she knew he liked what she was doing, as his hand twitched and tightened against her neck. Slowly his hand moved up and grabbed her hair and held her head firmly in place, she knew what this meant and she thought she felt him harden even more for a moment before he released himself into her mouth.



Even though she still found it hard to not spit out his cum in reflex, this time she was more than willing to swallow it all. She did not want to make a mess of herself in front of his friends.

He pulled himself out of her mouth and closed his trousers. Then he took her glass from the little table next to them and handed it to her. Almost greedily she drained the wine to wash down the taste in her mouth. With the glass so suddenly emptied she looked up and had to notice the room was spinning in front of her eyes. How many glasses did she have yet within only about two hours, four?



She put her arm around his leg and was happy to make herself comfortable on the floor next to him, but before she could, he loosened her grip on his leg and pushed her away from him. She looked up at him, questioning but had to note that he was not looking at her, he gazed past her. She turned, in that moment the dark haired man pulled her up by her shirt and pulled her over to the sofa she had been sitting on when he had first spotted her. He pushed her on it and followed. She tensed up and looked over to Lucius. She only saw him looking away, paying his entire attention to one of his guests again. She turned back to the stranger. She felt him touching her hip and pushing his hands under her shirt. This touch was so unfamiliar. Inside her head a voice was screaming: “I don’t know you! Stay away!”



“Why so tense?” the dark haired man asked while starting to nibble on her earlobe.



“I don’t know you”, she whispered.



He laughed quietly but continued. His hands found their way under her skirt. But when his right hand reached for her secret place she instinctively pushed her legs firmly together and turned her face away from him. But in that moment Lucius’ cane came firmly down on the sofas padding right next to her face, she shrieked and looked up.



“You don’t deny my friends. You’re embarrassing me.” Lucius said, looking sharply down at her.



“I’m sorry…I..”



“No excuses.”



They held each others gaze for a moment. Then Kirsty slowly opened her legs for the stranger. She felt as though Lucius stare was commanding her legs to move, as though her own mind had no control over it, and yet she was sure he was not using a spell.



But when the stranger started touching and stroking her pussy, she felt nothing but a strange kind of depression. And looking slowly around the room she noticed almost everyone was watching, some of the men had come to stand around her and the stranger. Suddenly he impatiently tore down her panties. She felt strangely tired, a tiredness and indifference she had never felt in Lucius company.



She heard the door, but did not register that someone new was entering.



Snape stepped into the room and looked over to where most of them were and spotted the situation.



“Uh, it’s that kind of party,” he said miserably. His familiar voice jerked Kirsty out of her bewildering melancholy. She turned her head to him, not really caring or noticing that the stranger had pulled down his trousers and was trying to get between her legs.



Lucius left his place right next to Kirsty and walked over to Snape.



“I’m glad you came! You have become so antisocial in the past years I almost didn’t expect you to show up.”



Snape’s eyes shifted briefly to Kristy, but rather factually, then he looked back at Lucius.



“So, is it possible to get a drink around here?”



Lucius hesitated a moment as he seemed to bore into Snape’s eyes, then he waved his wand lazily at the liquor cabinet and a glass of wine levitated across the room into Snape’s hand. He swallowed quickly then looked back across the room to where the current entertainment was still momentarily interrupted. The dark haired stranger had leaned back from Kirsty and she had crawled up to the other end of the sofa. Everyone was looking at Snape, he did not seem to be to bothered by it though.



Lucius voice cut through the silence: “Oh I must apologize, Severus, that I did not fill you in on my plan to take my pet back from you. You will understand, I did not want you to have to compromise your cover, since you were so worried about that.”



“That was indeed very thoughtful of you, I’m glad”, Snape replied, still looking at Kirsty. Her big eyes stared right back at him, empty, torn between begging him for help and being loyal to her master.



Then suddenly Kirsty moved to get up from the sofa. She did not think, but felt like getting away from the stranger, who seemed to have lost his interest in her for a moment. But when she made the slightest attempt to get off the sofa she felt his hand suddenly on her thigh clearly indicating he wanted her to stay. It was enough to make her freeze back down on the sofa.



Lucius waved his wand casually at a wall of bookshelves and the wall slid back. Behind it was a hidden room. From what Kirsty could see it was just another drawing room in the same style as the one they were in. The room lit up.



Lucius motioned for Snape to enter it and together they turned their backs on Kirsty and the others and walked away into the other room. Kirsty exhaled nervously. She wanted them so desperately to stay with her. She wanted Snape to recognise her, make sure no one would hurt her. But he could not do that, he was undercover, she reminded herself. Or was there more? Was he personally offended that she had run away from him? Maybe he was, maybe he now finally had given up on her. Maybe he thought she was back where she wanted to be, -and she was! She told herself again. She wanted to be with Lucius! –But she wasn’t, right now she was with this stranger, who started slowly to dig his fingers into her thigh again.



“You really don’t like me much, do you?” that stranger suddenly said. Bewildered she turned to look at him.



“I just… I…”, she did not know what to say, “I can’t betray him. I belong to him.” Somehow she figured that was a better answer than to say that she simply had a problem with a total stranger in her pants.



The stranger smirked: “That is so sweet. But I believe Lucius just made very clear what he expects from you. If you belong to him, you surely want to obey him, don’t you?” He grinned and his hand crawled back between her legs. He leaned into her again and bit her neck. She let him push her back but tried to keep that other room in sight. She could not see Snape or Lucius anymore but she thought she could hear their voices talking. She wished Snape would come back out and save her. She wished it so much she felt she had to pull herself together not to call for him.



Instead she whispered her pleas to the stranger. If there was a human being in him, he would stop and leave her alone.



“Please… please don’t do this to me…please…”



He let go and looked back at her, his hand tightening in her hair: “Will you stop whining? You make me feel like some pathetic rapist.”



She closed her eyes and broke into tears. She could not handle this anymore:



“I can’t! I don’t want to do this! I’m a human being, for God sake!”



As she heard her words echo in her head she realized that she had shouted. And in return the room around her had done silent.



When she opened her eyes she only saw the stranger looking back at her as he called:

”Lucius!”



Lucius reappeared out to the next room.



“It seems your pet really doesn’t want to play”, the stranger explained.



“What the hell does that mean?”, Lucius snarled and came back over to them.



Kirsty did not dare to look up at him, she simply froze.



“Like I said… she doesn’t want to play. She is getting all hysterical. It seems you don’t have as good a grip on her as you thought. ”



Lucius was quiet for a moment. But Kirsty thought she could feel his silent anger turning the air static.



“We will see about that. GET UP!”



Kirsty hurried to her feet. She could not get off that couch and away from that stranger fast enough anyway. But as she stood in front of Lucius her legs went very shaky.



He looked past her to his friend: “You will excuse us for a moment?” The stranger nodded and turned back to his glass that he had abandoned on the coffee table next to the sofa.



“Get in there”, he hissed at Kirsty and his eyes followed her as she walked over to the next room in which she knew Snape would be. This made her feel a lot better. Lucius followed her and with another wave of his wand he closed the hidden door behind them. Kirsty stopped. Snape was sitting in an armchair in one corner of the room. On one wall there was a big old framed mirror. She knew this room. She had seen it in Snape’s memory. It was the same room. Her eyes dropped to one sofa on the right. That was where the red haired girl had been tortured and killed.



But that thought was literally blown out of her mind as Lucius stepped in front of her and hit her face so hard with the back of his hand that she fell before Snape’s feet.



She got on her knees, holding her cheek. The room was spinning badly before her eyes.



“How dare you embarrass me like that? GET UP!”



Again she hurried to her feet, her head still throbbing.



“Master! I’d do anything for you! But not for him!” she cried with all the breath she had left in her lungs.



“Don’t give me that shit!” he stepped towards her, grabbed her only to throw her across the room. She fell painfully against the sofa and cried out.



“Crucio!”



The last thing she noticed was the hatred in his voice before the terrible curse hit her and the blinding pain made her fall back on the floor and shake and cry violently.



From very far away she heard Snape’s bored voice.



“Lucius really, is that your idea of a relaxed evening? You said we’d get together for some drinks and to think about how to use the book in a quiet, relaxed atmosphere. I can have plenty of drama at Hogwarts. ”



The pain stopped and left her muscles exhausted and numb.



“Well you are to blame, Severus”, Lucius said quietly, “they get rebellious when you spoil them.”



“You think I spoiled her, do you?”



“I think Dumbledore has made you soft. You have forgotten our old ways. You don’t dare to put a toe out of line in dear old Dumbledore’s castle.”



“You are angry and you don’t know what you are saying, “he said dismissively and took a sip from his wine then he looked at Kirsty who was lying on the floor trying to keep up with her racing heartbeat, “Kirsty, get over here.”



She heard Snape’s voice and crawled as fast as she could over to him and slumped down again, resting her head against his leg.



“I’m sorry, Master”, she whispered, staring tiredly ahead, “I did not mean to embarrass you, I just can not do this. Please forgive me.”



“Who do you think you are?” she heard Lucius hiss in a furious whisper.



“Your servant, Master, and nobody else’s.”



“I don’t have use for a servant who only serves on their own terms and disrespects and embarrasses me in front of my friends.” She looked up tiredly and saw he raised his wand at her again.



“You won’t kill her will you?” asked Snape, still rather disconcerted. Kirsty listened up, but Lucius did not reply.



“Please don’t, I never trusted your aiming skills.” Kirsty held tightly on to Snape’s leg as she heard this.



“Don’t mock me, Severus.”



“I am just trying to enjoy your party. I have to say I am finding it a little stressful at the moment.”



“Why don’t you go next door then, and join our friends till I have taken care of this.”



“Well, I was hoping it could be my turn with her at some point tonight and I would really appreciate it if she was still alive then.”



She listened closely but she could not believe this had come out of Snape’s mouth. It was so obvious to her that he was saying this to save her time. This was not the Snape she knew, but as it seemed it was the Snape HE knew, because Lucius seemed not to detect anything strange. He lowered his wand.



“So”, Lucius said, still that devilish hiss in his voice, “after you told me over and over how you found her repulsive, now you want her?”



“Is that a problem for you?”



“I guess not”, Lucius said through gritted teeth and summoned another decanter of wine and refilled his glass. Then he sat down opposite Snape in the sofa and leaned back to watch.



Snape dropped his black eyes down to Kirsty.



“Well then, be a good girl.”



She understood and stood up before him. Her heart started to beat harder in her chest again and she felt herself blushing as she started unbuttoning her shirt. She dropped it to the floor and did the same with her bra. She felt Snape’s black eyes on her naked breasts and her nipples hardened. And as she dropped her skirt to the floor she felt Lucius’s gaze on her backside. She held her breath as she pulled down her panties and she stood naked before him except for her white knee socks and oxfords.



Snape looked her up and down and took a slow sip from his wine. Kirsty lowered herself back on her knees before him and moved her shaking hands to open his trousers. Carefully she freed his cock and gripped it, while trying to keep her hand from shaking. She lowered her head to it and kissed the tip, then started licking and eventually wrapping her wet lips entirely around it and sucking hard. She heard him breathing harder. And his fingers crawled lazily into her hair, which gave her a wave of goose bumps. She felt his cook harden in her mouth. By now she had learned how to do it well.



Then she let go and pushed herself up again. She looked down on him, seeking the desire in his black eyes. She saw a tiny spark there and liked to imagine that it was desire. She straddled him. Feeling the rough black fabric of his clothes on her naked skin turned her on. Her right hand stroke along his neck and into his black hair and she lowered her face to his and kissed him. She had never kissed him, scared he would reject her, but now she felt he would not reject her. He did this to save her time, not because he actually desired her. But she wanted him to desire her. She would do what ever she could to show him how much she desired him. And knowing he would not stop her gave her confidence to do what ever she wanted. She slid her tongue into his mouth, seeking his, and there it was, the tip of his hot tongue greeted hers. And a shiver ran down her back as she tasted him and played with his tongue. She felt her hard nipples rub on the rough fabric of his jacket. And felt herself getting wet between her legs. A moan escaped her. She felt his right hand move between them and place his hard cock at her entrance and moving it teasingly along her slit. She gasped and bit his chin softly. She felt his hands grip her hips and guide her down onto him. She snuggled her face into his hair and nibbled on his ear as she moaned softly, feeling him fill her. She started moving her hips carefully and traced his ear with the tip of her tongue whispering ever so quietly: “Don’t let him kill me. I want to live. …Save me.” He did not reply but only guided her hips in their movements. She was still waiting for some kind of sign that he had recognized what she had said when she felt his grip on her hips getting more firm and demanding. She was not sure that he had heard her. It seemed like he was not really there, just a man wanting to get off, forcing her in her movement, with no other interest but a fast release. She gave up on trying to make contact with his black and dead gaze. She felt him spill into her and she saw his eyes close and she felt alone.



She shook, as she felt another hand crawl around her neck and pull her upper body back against the velvety fabric of Lucius’s robes. His right hand tightened possessively around her breast. She did not feel alone any longer. He pulled her head back against him by her throat and growled: “Now why would you be such a slut with your teacher, and all frigid like a little virgin with my other guests? You’re enjoying yourself with Severus, aren’t you? Are we possibly having a little crush? Are we a teacher’s pet?”



She squeezed her eyes shut, she did not want to look at either of them. Snape loosened his grip on her hips as though he did not care. He was finished with her, he was giving her away to Lucius.



“I think she is enjoying herself a bit to much.” With that he pulled her off him by her hair. She stumbled backwards. He pushed her over to the sofa on the other side. She dreaded that sofa… he pushed her over the side onto her knees and gripped her hips with one hand while she could hear him opening his trousers. She tried to control her breathing. She was still wet. She was prepared. It would be ok. She would always be ready for him.

But then she felt his hand gripping her sex harshly, spreading her juices over her other hole.



“No…” she breathed in fear and tensed.



“No?” he repeated. He gripped her hair roughly and pulled her head back painfully, “Are you defying me now?”



“No, Master! Oh, why are you so cruel?” she cried, she knew it was not a wise thing to say to him but she could not help it. This question came out of the deep of her heart. She wanted him, she adored him, but why did he have to make it so difficult for her?

He pulled her roughly back by her hair.



“I don’t like to share. It was you, who decided she had to sleep around like a little filthy whore. So I adjusted. Then you changed your mind and decided you don’t want to be a whore, and then,” he pulled even harder on her hair so she had to bend all the way back till his mouth touched her ear, “you take it all back and become a little suck up to your teacher, and now you seriously complain, that I decide to claim something else than your whore pussy as my own?”



“I’m sorry!” she cried, not knowing what else to say.



She felt as though he was jerking her head back once more but then she heard Snape’s voice inside her head somehow.



“It means nothing. He only wants to hurt you because he is angry. What he is saying doesn’t mean a thing. Don’t feel guilty….but don’t fight him. Obey.”



She turned her head to look at Snape. She could see his wand pointed at her, hidden under his cloak. He was using Legilimancy on her. She wanted to be grateful that he had come back from where ever he had been when they had sex a moment ago but somehow she only felt anger towards Snape now, that he felt he had to interfere now, that he had been vacant when she was sleeping with him, and not responding to her silent cries for help then and that now he dared to interfere, when she was with her Master. What did Snape know about her and Lucius? They had something special. She turned her face away from him.



“I’m sorry, Master.”



“You are sorry, pet?” Lucius repeated with a strange, teasing voice and softly stroke her hair back while he dug his other hand into the flesh on her hips possessively.



“Why are you sorry, my pigeon?” he asked softly.



She hesitated. What was he after?



“Because I’m confused. I want you to fuck me… what ever way.”



“Really?” he said, clearly entertained.



“Yes!” she said firmly, “please do it to me!”



“Do you think you deserve it?” He kept stroking her hair. Why was he twisting everything like this? She didn’t know what to say.



“Please,” she breathed, “please do what ever you want to me and forgive me for my disobedience.”



“That was not an answer to my question, was it?”



She sighed miserably. But before she could answer she felt Snape invading her mind again.



“Don’t play his game, there is no point in trying.”



“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” she heard herself thinking very loud in her mind and the odd feeling of his presence in her head disappeared. Had she done it? Had she blocked him out? Or had he removed himself? She looked over at Snape. He looked inscrutably at her, she could detect nothing in his face. There she felt Lucius hand stroke her hair again.



“It is not for me to decide whether I deserve something or not,”, she said quietly, remembering his question.



“Good girl,” he said approvingly, his voice ever so condescending. His hand stroke further down over her back and joined his left hand gripping her hips. He pushed her forward with his own body and his fingers slipped between her legs and he proceeded in spreading her wetness. She felt her pussy throbbing expectantly for him and tried to prepare herself for the fact that she would not get it her way. She tried to relax to his touch and let his fingers go where they wanted to go. The pressure of his body on hers was a good feeling. She moved back against him but froze momentarily when she felt his big, hard cock pressing against her back entrance. But then she moved back against him again. When he entered her she bit her lip in discomfort and tired to focus on the pleasant feeling of being filled and it being him who was taking possession of her in this manner.



She tired to be strong but she could not help whimpering at the frightening and painful feeling of being torn.



“Do you like that he is watching?” she heard Lucius whisper into her ear. A shiver ran over her as it always did when she could feel his breath near her ear.



She turned her head slowly to look at Snape. She blinked shyly, not expecting her teacher to stare straight back at her, his dark eyes glittering almost madly now. She was going to turn away, but she forced herself not to. Yes, she did like him watching. Why, she did not know.



“Yes, Master,” she whispered passionately and heard him chuckle in response. Then she cried out as he forced himself deeper into her. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back harshly and fucked her harder. The pain numbed her mind from every worry. It was just pain and the feeling of total possession, and the feeling of those deep, black eyes on her. She gave herself up to it all.



She lost the sense for time, and she could not tell whether she liked what was happening or not, she felt save, and yet as though her life was going to end. She was somewhere else, somewhere she had never been before and she did not know what it meant.



She felt her Master pull hard on her hair, bending her neck backwards. And she felt him spilling into her, burning her from the inside with his fluids. She cried out the last feelings she had left, that kept her alive. She felt like there was no future to hold on to, no perspective to get her through this pain. So it was just that, the man she adored, and the pain, meeting inside her and using her. And somewhere a pair of black eyes, a sweet drop of comfort.



He loosened his grip on her hair and pulled out of her. She slumped onto the sofa exhausted. She did not care what happened next. She did not feel Lucius anymore. But she could hear his composed but demanding voice:



“Get up.”



She did not have to force her body to follow his command. She reacted to it naturally, as though nothing was easier than that.



Her body stood up without any effort at all and she stood, facing him, …facing the door. He pulled it open and peered outside. He said to those in the other room:



“Anyone wanting to take part in this, there will be no further objections.”



Kirsty slowly turned her head to Snape, who was still sitting there, black eyes set on her. What was he doing, she knew he was up to something, those eyes were too dark, they were only this shade of dark when he was concealing something. Somehow she knew that.



Bodies were moving in. A hand grabbed her arm. It was a bit familiar. It was that stranger who had bothered her before. He pulled her into the other room again only to throw her onto the ground. She fell near a low coffee table in the middle of the room. She was picked up and dragged over it. A hand grabbed her between her legs and a moment later she felt someone taking her where Snape had last had her. She didn’t even know who it was, but did it even matter? Her eyes flashed up. Lucius was taking a seat in front of her in an arm chair with a glass of something, looking amused and relaxed as though ready to enjoy a show. For him, she would play any part. But he had not told her which part to play. She needed to play a part, she could not do reality. Did he even care? Flashbacks of her intoxicating encounter with Lucius in the dusty schoolroom came back to her. Then she had liked to see herself as the naughty little student. It had been a game, the only time Lucius had asked her to play. It had been amazing. She remembered her heart hammering in excitement, she remembered lying on that desk and loosing her mind in ecstasy. It was as unreal as remembering a dream. She tried to focus, tried to remember that the man she adored was right there, right in front of her. She looked up at him as his cold grey eyes looked back at her, so utterly relaxed and comfortable, so unattached but amused… so cold.



Someone entered her, someone large, -that she could tell. She whimpered and closed her eyes. But she forced them open again, if there was anything to gain from this, it was his eye contact, no matter how cold, it had always been cold, that was how he was. She felt like that was something she understood about him as though there was some kind of union between them, between her and her Master.



Someone was fucking her, she clawed her fingers around that table and stared at her Master. Somehow his presence did not comfort her anymore as it used to, she was not sure why. The last thing that had comforted her was… she feebly looked around, but Snape was not there. He was gone, maybe left behind in the next room, maybe he did not care, maybe he had his fun and left, not caring at all. That was just as well, if this was how it was meant to be for her, that would be fine. She would face it. She drew her own attention back to what was happening and felt that stranger taking everything from her he needed. And as soon as she realized this, some other big hand pulled her up suddenly and into some man’s lap. An unfamiliar tongue was dueling hers. She tried to match it, her Master’s cold grey eyes still in her sight. As long as he was with her, she would be fine, she thought, as long as his eyes were on her, everything was a reward. His eyes on her were a reward. His eyes on her, his attention, his taking note of her was a gift, it made her powerful. It was a real proof of her existence.



She felt sore. She saw Lucius drinking. Someone pulled on her hair. Her body was in demand; she felt she did not quite comprehend. She could not grasp what was going on, it was like her mind refused to even understand the most obvious. She felt deep sadness at the realization that her body had gone numb to any kind of touch, no matter how intimate. It was a bit like going blind, a precious sense lost.





...to be continued