The Sins Of A Father

A/N: Well, this is it. The last three chapters of this story. I hope it was worth reading this to all of you as I had the honour to write this fic. I know some will hate it, perhaps some will think it’s a fitting end, but I know no matter what others will say I do not regret writing this. Not at all, and I will always remember this story by heart. God knows that this plot bunny had been torturing me slowly…Plus I would like to say that two songs have encouraged my bunny to no end! To anyone who wants to know its called;



“Roads” By Portishead



“Hurt” By Jonny Cash



There was a point to this story by the way lol. Like I said in the first chapter, some things have made me think twice thus the result of this story. This story was based on a question of a personal matter. And now I have become even more open-minded to the things I have seen. I need to know if people think the way I do. I had hated incest with a passion, anything that leads to incest in anyway. But now I’m not quite sure. I know I hate incest when it comes to BLOOD relation. But is it truly wrong to fall in love with someone who is related to you but not by blood? Is it wrong to act upon it even though you know you will be happy? Is it ok to suffer through it knowing it will make others happy by not knowing it? Is it wrong to deny things that your heart screams out just because people cannot understand it? My question to all who is willing to answer is…



Is it wrong to be human?









Chapter Thirty-Two: The Sins Of A Father







30th of January.



The day that was petal’s birthday.



And the day that all of my sin had finally ended.



Lucius still did not know of anything I had planned for him. No, rather I wanted to let this little charade go on, to make him feel safe, to make him feel loved, for that because I wanted to make him suffer. Now what better way to do that then to manipulate that person? Pulling and tugging their heartstrings until they finally snapped?



And what better way to do this than to use his own game against him? And this was the day that he would know; this was the day that he will pay with his tears.



I grinned in sadistic delight. I had waited for this for so long…to see that I have crushed everything he hold dear in his grey eyes and see it withering away. See himself withering away along with it. So I sat in my office, around lunchtime, waiting for him, as I knew he would come like always. Me typing away on my laptop.



So predictable. Which was to my advantage.



He knocked on the door, and I had to use everything I had in my will power to not laugh in glee. So I simple said, “enter”



Just as I predicted he came in, looking like the pompous prick that he is and walked in as if he owned the place. “Severus, coming for lunch?”



“Oh, just wait one minute my love,” I smiled as sweetly as I could, well, not too overly sweetly as I would probably gag myself to death. And I wish not yet to die, unless it was of laughter at seeing Malfoy being humiliated. “I just need to finish this, I promise it will not take that long…”



He smirked, “Oh Severus…working through your lunch break, what a hardworking man that you are….always breaking a sweat to do your duty”



Oh, he would be eating those words, “Oh of course, I’m always a very hardworking man…I make sure I finish what I started”



“Oh, that I will utterly agree with,” he came closer to the desk as he sat on top of the surface sideways, leaning forward a little. “You always know how to finish your work the right way…”



I looked up to glance at him, “That I do…” Then I pressed a button onto my keyboard and what came out made Lucius’s face froze in utter fear.



Payback.



“You…” He whispered out breathlessly.



I raised an eyebrow and turned up the volume, “Yes? Lost for words love? You seem very vocal in this little video I have made”



He now stood up, his pale complexion becoming redder by the second, “How...how dare you?! How dare you do this to me!?”



“Me?” I scoffed while I leaned back into my chair seemingly unfazed, I was simply enjoying this far too much to stop, “It seems you have forgotten who had started this little game?” He now started to breath more roughly, his fists tightening by his sides so tightly I would of not been surprised if he drew blood. I grinned while leaning forward to turn around the laptop so he could watch the homemade video I had so happily wanted him to see. “What is ever the matter love? You seem to enjoy sucking my dick very much…”



“Fuck you…” He said thru gritted teeth.



I laughed, “On the contrary, it seemed I was fucking you? Oh come now Lucius, do smile, frowning is not becoming of you,” I stood up walking towards him.



“You…you said…!” He might have been angered by this, but his eyes was showing much more passion then I have ever saw. Anything that I had saw resembled that passion was when the night he took me to his flat.



Oh lets see how far can I watch that passion break and shatter into pieces, so I step forward so close that I cupped his face as tenderly as I could, “What did I say Lucius? That I loved you?” I moved my face so close that I let my lips brush against his to whisper out, “That I wanted to be with you?” I let my thumb trace softly against his lips.



“I had gave you everything that I had,” his voice-even though anger was still lacing around it- it held heartache and all I wanted to do was bask in it with delight. “I have never let anyone see me as I let you…! I loved you…I even killed for you…And this is how you repay me?! I risked everything for you!!” He pushed me way and before he could punch me I grabbed his fist and tighten it with all my strength I possessed. He cried out in pain but I did not let go instead I back handed him - what he done to me before - his lip splitting open then I twisted the arm that I held his fist behind his back and pressed his back against my chest.



I pressed my lips against his ear, making my voice as low and as caring as I could make it so I could tell how I felt about him. “Oh but my Lucius…I hate you with every fibre of my being,” I placed a mocking kiss behind the shell of his ear. I spoke once again, “I hate the way you talk, they way you look, the way you walk…I just simply hate you. You make my skin crawl with disgust as I had to go near you, to talk with you, to…touch you…” I twisted his arm higher that made him let out a high groan which made me pleased even more that this was finally over, that this will be no more before lunch was over. “But they’re was a consolation out of this. “I laughed deeply into his ear, “Relationship we had. I enjoyed with pleasure as you confessed over and over again of your love for me. How you say you think of me, how you want to be with me, how you care for me, how you would do…anything for me. How truly pathetic Malfoy. How truly pathetic, for you to wear your heart on your sleeve, but I guess it was fun.“ I licked the side of his neck smirking and murmuring against his cold sweated skin. “How fun it was to watch you beg like a whore for me to fuck you. How you screamed for release. How fun it was to make that video, looking at how pathetic you looked. How fun it was to watch and now to see the love you held for me shatter along with your hope. What is wrong Lucius? You feeling a little betrayed? A little disappointed? A little…hurt?” I pushed him away from me and watched him stumble onto the ground but he stood up quickly trying to pick up whatever dignity he had left. His eyes now murderous and no longer holding the love he had for me. I smiled in satisfaction.



He pointed at me as if it could intimidate me in some way, “You…you will pay for this Severus. Just you watch, you will pay for this along with you family’s lif-”



Before he could finish that sentence I ran at him, grabbing hold of his neck and pushing him against the wall. I could feel my eyes throb as my anger filled my veins. I growled deeply, just managing to hold myself that was so dangerously close to breaking point. “Lets make this clear Malfoy. I am not a man to be messed with. You do not want me as your enemy Malfoy. If you ever do anything to my family, or if anything ever happens to my family I will hunt you down like the dog you are. What ever happens to my family I will automatically blame you and I will - before showing that little video to your wife - skin you alive and make you eat it while bathing you in salt. I will make you suffer so much that you will rip your own heart out. So not even try to threaten me…you will regret it with your life!”



He still held the murderous glare but I could see the fear of my threat lurking beyond the grey mist. I could no longer stand his face so I threw him in the direction of the door and stood up straight. “I pity this Lucius, before you had ruined this by drugging me in Japan, we actually had some sort of friendship developing…It’s too bad really. We could of become good friends.” For some odd reason that made his glare soften but only ever so slightest. Perhaps he wasn’t that all-pompous as I made him out to be. But never the less, I did not regret my actions towards him. With his final glance he left my office and all I could do was sigh in relief. This bored of cess game has finally ended for the better.



Checkmate.



Before I could even sit in my chair my mobile rang. I looked at the screen, which told me Harry was phoning. I knew now what ever I did to Lily was now my entire fault. Lucius was now out of the picture but I know Harry would not be. I loved him too deeply to rip him out of my life. I smiled sadly and went to speak to him.



I had gone home early that day, Riddle knew why. He would also be there at my home but only latter on. My petal had decided to stay home on her birthday, as she was too exhausted to even go out for the night. She wanted to spend some time with the family, opening her presents, then go and rest her aching feet, which I did not mind, not at all. The only problem was that…



I was cooking.



I thought I was an ok cook but as Indu has said to me once, ‘Oh dear god, is that moving?’ No it was not, I don’t think, it tasted fine to me at least. So that is why Harry had phoned me to get the ingredients he need so he could pass it off as my cooking. He was actually good, but if I had the time to cook I would have been a great chief.



…Oh god, am I moaning?



As I pulled up in my drive way I took out the shopping bags and began to enter the house, and as I entered I could smell the delicious food that my mouth began to water. I walked towards the kitchen to see Harry hard at work chopping the salads. I dropped the bags onto the counter.



“Where’s your Mother?”



Harry gave me a quick smile, “She went to get something at the hospital. Apparently some of her work friends got her something”



I returned the smile and went over to give him a quick kiss, which he gratefully took, “Jimmy and Indu?”



“To go and get the cake from the bakery’s”



“Oh alright, so, you need any help there with that?”



“Not if I want food poisoning”



I swatted his bottom playfully, “I can still ground you.”



He smirked as he finished chopping the salads and putting it into the bowl to toss, he winked at me, “Is that a promise? Will you punish me?”



I now smirked, “Behave Raven or you might regret it…” What an idiotic thing to say. His smile had fallen and a look of worry placed on his features, and I cursed silently at my stupidity. I cupped his cheeks so he could look into my eyes, “I’m so sorry, I never meant it like that Harry…I love you”



He broke out in a tiny smile, “I know…it’s just that…I’ll get over it. It’ll just take some time”



I kissed his lips briefly, “That’s my boy. Now, I’m going to go and change and come back afterwards ok?”



“Alright Papa”



As I went to go and get changed I had finally thought that everything from now on would get back to normal, well as much as it could before Lucius became psychotic. Though perhaps I did pity him, but he did deserve what he had gotten. He was not a man of sympathy himself so why should I? But nevertheless he was out of my life as much as possible and I was glad. Now I could focus my attention onto my family



I strode towards to the kitchen as I was dressed in casual wear. I stood at the door, watching my Raven cook and I could not help but smile bitterly. I did love him as a son but I loved him as a lover. He was both to me and I knew it was wrong, it felt even more wrong that he thought me of his father yet as well as a lover. But I still loved him even if it was wrong, even if this was my sin…



A sin that will soon end.



“You know, you could be a very good cook someday Harry,” I walked towards him to wrap my arm around his smaller waist.



“I don’t know, I might but I really do like football. But who knows? I still got time to think what I want to do with my life”



“And…what does the future hold for you, you think?”



He stopped what he was doing and tip toed up to kiss me deeply, “You…” He breathed out hotly, “I know that I want you in my future Papa…I want you to always be there for me…”



I breathed out heavily as he stepped even closer to me, pressing his slight form against my larger form. I knew I could not push him away, I stopped doing that; it was of no use. It only caused pain with suffering on top of it so I had now truly accepted him, accepted us being together as we are. He now began to kiss my neck, leaving little trails of butterfly kisses then crushed his lips against my own. And I let him, I left my self be carried out and enjoy this wonderful-worth risking-sin…



Yes, it was truly a risky sin…



Even as I heard something crash, break and shatter on to the kitchen tiles.



As we broke the kiss in surprise I turn to see what had caused it. And I stood in utter numbness as I felt my blood drained away from my heart and from my body. My heart stopped beating, But even though I could not feel my nerves, I could feel my heart slipping away, brushing past my fingertips as a final farewell as I saw my beloved petal standing there with eyes unashamedly letting the tears fall from her lashes.



Her body started to shake, but she did not break my gaze. Her lips trembling and I could hear the quiver from her voice as she spoke softly, “How…How could you Severus…how could you do this to me…how could you do this at all…to the baby?” She place one hand onto her stomach but still never breaking our gaze.



I could of replied with so many answers. I could have answered with so many excuses for my actions I could of said anything at all but yet my mind was completely blank except being truthful to her at last since the beginning of my sin. “I’m sorry…”



She gave a watery smile, though I think she was talking to herself more than to us and all I could do was to listen her heart aching in pain to which I had caused. “All this time…I loved you Severus. I loved you with all my heart and soul and yet…you do this with my own son? Our own son that calls you a dad? Why? Why did you have to do this? Was I just being used…? Did you even love me?”



Now some feeling returned as I felt my eyes sting, “I love you still Lily…I do! I never meant this to happen…please, we can sit down and talk about this. Please, if not for us for the sake of the baby. Just please…Calm down petal and please sit down…Please”



“But it did…It did happen Severus….it did and I am paying for it…There’s nothing to talk about, I saw what happened Severus, and the baby?…” She choked out a sob as she was loosing her resolve. I cringed but before I could even say another word she look at Harry who was also crying no doubt feeling pain seeing his mother like this…Did he regret this also? “Harry…I still love you. I still love the both of you…But…Goodbye”



And with that she ran out into the hall way, as I now regained my senses I chased after her calling her name out. But because of those few vital seconds…it made all the difference. As I reached into the hallway she was out the door, I could hear Harry shouting out her name along with my shouts. But as her emotions was carrying it out she only fled faster into the streets…



And into the road…



“LILY!”



…And into the car…



And this is how my sin ended. This is how I lost my wife and my unborn child. She died on the 30th of January, on her own birthday. A birthday on which she wanted to spend with her family…With her children and with her husband….oh how I will always remember the sounds of the busy streets, the sounds of the protesting car horns, the sounds of her screams….



The sounds of her body flying and hitting the ground limply…



I will never forget her. No, I will always love her no matter what. Even if I do not deserve even her memories…I will always love her. She was my love, my first love and I will always cherish what she gave to me…



Happiness. A sense of being worthy. A sense of being a loving father. A sense of being a loving husband. A sense of being a loving friend. A sense of being a loving lover…



A sense of me being truly me.



And I will always love her for that. I will always pray for her peace…



As nothing will ever replace my petal.



As nothing will ever replace my Harry. As he will always be in my heart…



Even though he is now becoming seventeen years old, we are still together. Still lovers but also still as a family with me, Harry and Jimmy. My Raven…Yes I still feel regret, and I shall reap as what I have sown as I deserve nothing else. I do not deserve anything but the pain I have caused, but I shall be with Harry, with both my sons as long they need me. Though we all moved to another home as I respected Lily enough to let her rest truly in peace, as she most deserved.



Jimmy…He did not take it too well of his mother’s death. I know that at his age he does not know much of death but all he knew was that he would not be able to see his mother again…and it pained me even more. All for a more reason to be there for him.



Lucius. Oh yes who could forget? He had settled somewhat since I had blackmailed him but you could still see the glint in his eyes when I was there. Do to anger or lust I did not know nor ever would like to find out but all I knew he looked very smug as he heard of my petal’s death…But soon he became rather withdrawn from then onwards…Becoming rather quiet at most times and even now I can not get an outburst from him. Perhaps it was another ploy for me or perhaps…his life was getting too much…



And lastly Potter. Oh he had gotten what he deserved from the law, but even twenty years will never quench my thirst for his blood. And I will wait for him when the day of freedom shall be upon him.



So here I was, or rather here I am, writing in this book, as I can never confess my sin to anyone. As no one can ever know what I have truly went through. No one should know this, not even my raven. I love him so deeply that I will let my sin now rest…



The Sins Of A Father.







Fin