Proof of Life

Safe Places



When Luna arrived, Severus made an attempt to evade her and escape to his study, but quickly found out how impossible that was. She convinced him to stay in the living room, and pulled out a game from Harry\'s bookshelf. Recognizing the Exploding Snap cards, Severus shook his head, but having no other ideas for spending the evening, decided to yield to her plans.



She shuffled the cards, and began to deal them.



“I\'m really glad Harry was fired,” Luna said matter of factly. “I think he\'s going to be much happier now.”



“Hmm,” Severus muttered. He knew for a fact that Harry hadn\'t shared the details of his departure from the job at the Auror Office with her, but he wasn\'t especially surprised that Luna had worked the details out on her own. “Yes, I suppose so.”



“It\'s wonderful to be home with someone who cares about you,” Luna whispered, as if talking to herself. “It feels so safe.” There was a small note of longing in her voice. “Doesn\'t it?” she asked, and looked up at him, her grey, misty eyes studying him intently.



Severus scowled, unsure if it were an abstract question, or an intensely personal one. But she gave him a tiny, hesitantly hopeful smile, and he nodded curtly in response.



“You know,” she said, standing up and abandoning the cards, “there\'s something I\'d like you to try. You\'ve got your wand on you, haven\'t you?”



~ * ~



When Harry emerged from the Floo at the Burrow, Lily was the first to rush to him, and jump into his arms. Harry lifted her up, and she squealed in unrestrained delight, kicking her feet until Harry allowed her to sit on his shoulders.



He surveyed the small crowd of friends and family, gathered in the living room of the Burrow. Molly and Arthur were there, along with Ron, Hermione, George, Ginny, and Marietta. Ginny had followed Harry\'s wishes in keeping the gathering as small as possible.



“Happy birthday, Harry,” Hermione was the first to say. “Do you feel older and wiser yet?”



“One hundred per cent,” Harry said solemnly. “I feel wisdom just oozing out of me. It\'s absolutely incredible.”



Ron snickered quietly and shook Harry\'s hand.



“How\'s the Auror\'s Office doing?” Harry asked.



“Much better, now that you\'re gone,” Ron quipped, earning himself a small smack on the back of his head from Hermione. “Ow, what was that for?”



“You\'re supposed to feign sympathy, I think,” Marietta said dryly. “Potter looks absolutely devastated by his loss, can\'t you tell?”



Harry laughed out loud.



“Daddy, I\'ve got something for you!” Lily declared, squirming on Harry\'s shoulders. Harry chuckled quietly and let her off, setting her firmly on the floor.



Lily took a hold of his sleeve and dragged him upstairs to her bedroom. Once there, she produced a large drawing and presented Harry with it. Harry stared at it for a few seconds. As far as he could tell, it was a representation of a person, although Harry wasn\'t entirely certain. However, he suspected that asking what is it? wouldn\'t be the best strategic move at this point.



“It\'s wonderful,” Harry said. “Thank you, Lily.”



“Does it look like him?” Lily demanded, staring at Harry hopefully.



“Uh,” Harry mumbled, desperately wondering who that \'him\' might be. Eventually, he opted for a safe response. “I think so.”



“That\'s what Sev\'rus Snape will look like, when his hair gets long again,” Lily advised him, pointing at the straight black lines that presumably indicated the man\'s hair.



“Right,” Harry agreed quickly, and smiled. “Why did you draw him?”



“He\'s your best friend, isn\'t he?” Lily asked cautiously.



“Hmm,” Harry was taken aback slightly by the question. “Yes, I suppose he is.”



Lily smiled hesitantly, and looked up at Harry with obvious worry. “What about me?” she asked in a very small voice. “Am I still your best friend?”



Harry felt his stomach drop. He should have known that Lily would be troubled about this change in living arrangements – what child wouldn\'t be?



Quickly, he reached for his daughter, and scooped her up in his arms.



“Absolutely,” he told her, holding her tightly. “You and mum will always be my best friends. Nothing can change that.”



If anything, the past three months proved it beyond any shadow of a doubt, Harry thought, where, in spite of arguments and disagreements, everyone banded together around him.



“Best friends are like family,” Harry said, running his hand through Lily\'s hair. “There\'s always room for one more.”



“All right,” Lily said, looking incredibly relieved. “Happy birthday, daddy.”



“Thank you, sweetie. Now, let\'s go downstairs and join the party, hm?”



Harry and Lily came downstairs together, with Lily still holding on to his hand.



Marietta presented Harry with a bottle of excellent Firewhisky.



“You really didn\'t have to get me anything,” he muttered awkwardly, giving her a small hug.



“Who says it\'s for you?” Marietta quipped. “I\'ll probably get into it myself next time I\'m over.”



“Well, Harry, since you always say you don\'t want anything for your birthday, we decided to get you something small this time,” Ginny interrupted, presenting Harry with a small scroll of parchment. “This is from all of us.”



“Yes, but mostly from Ginny,” Hermione said.



Curious more than anything, Harry accepted the parchment scroll. When he unfurled it, his eyes opened wide in shock.



“The Black Estate?” Harry asked, with a small tremor in his voice. “What...how?”



“Ginny bought it out,” Hermione explained, watching Harry with delight. “We just helped a bit. Try not to sell it too many times, all right?”



“You really shouldn\'t have,” Harry said uncomfortably.



“You shouldn\'t have sold it in the first place,” Ginny whispered in Harry\'s ear, embracing him. “Though it was my fault more than yours. Irritated with you or not, I should have offered to help right away... knowing that you\'d never think to ask.”



“Thank you,” Harry whispered back, tucking the scroll away into the inner pocket of his robe.



“No whispering!” Lily demanded, tugging on Ginny\'s and Harry\'s sleeves at the same time. “Let\'s party.”



~ * ~



“What\'s the first spell you ever tried?” Luna asked.



“Lumos,” Severus said reluctantly, clutching his wand nervously. “I, uh, borrowed my mother\'s wand when I was six...”



“Borrowed,” Luna repeated with a wry smile.



“Well, she got it back eventually,” Severus grumbled. “What about you?”



“When I was eight, I tried Accio,” Luna mused. “I wanted to summon a book from the top shelf.”



“Oh.” Severus smiled slightly at the image of an eight-year old trying to use a fourth year charm. “How did that work out?”



“The bookcase toppled over, and every single book flew in a different direction. It was spectacular,” Luna said, grinning mischievously.



Severus nodded slightly. Hearing the laughter in her voice, and seeing the careless mess of the Exploding Snap cards on the kitchen table, brought a strange, barely comprehensible longing. Maybe his childhood hadn\'t exactly been a happy one – but suddenly he found himself remembering a simpler time – a time when magic was for knocking branches off trees, and conjuring light in a dark room...



“It\'s just like that now,” Luna murmured in a barely audible voice. “We\'re home.”



~ * ~



The party went on for some hours. Marietta was the first to depart, and go to her night shift at St. Mungo\'s. Lily was sent to bed next, making a great fuss, and protesting, but calming when Harry told her how much he loved her picture. George, Ron and Hermione left next, and finally, after hugging Harry and wishing him a happy birthday yet again, Molly and Arthur retreated for the night as well.



Ginny alone remained in the living room, curled up on the couch, holding Lily\'s drawing in her hands.



“It\'s Snape,” Harry felt the need to elaborate. “With long, thoroughly brushed hair.”



Ginny smiled a little. “She\'s a kind girl. Much kinder than I was her age.”



“You\'ve turned out all right,” Harry said, smiling back. “Apart from your temper and stubbornness and...”



This time, Ginny didn\'t just smile, she laughed out loud. “Really, Harry, you\'re the one to talk.”



Harry nodded. “I know. I really have been a prat lately. But that\'ll change, I think, now that I\'m not working for Diggory anymore.”



“I think so too,” Ginny said, inclining her head slightly. “I think it\'ll be good for you.”



“I think it will be good for all of us,” Harry said quietly, moving closer to her and gathering her up in a tight embrace. She issued a small sigh, but made no effort to withdraw from his touch. Harry leaned forward to kiss her cheek, but she bowed her head and pulled away slightly, and his lips barely brushed against her skin.



“I\'ve missed you,” Harry whispered in her ear, holding her close.



“I\'ve missed you too,” she said guardedly. “But please, don\'t...”



“Don\'t what?” Harry asked uncomprehendingly.



“Don\'t do this,” she said pointedly, taking his hands in hers, and pulling them off her waist. “It\'s hard, Harry. I\'ve only just begun to get used to sleeping alone again.”



“Well, maybe it\'s not a good idea to get used to something like that,” Harry said. “I want you to come home.”



“I don\'t want to talk about it now,” Ginny protested. She pulled her feet up, and curled into herself, with her chin resting on her knees.



“Why not now?” Harry pressed, turning to face her. “Now is as good a time as any. Look – I know that I\'ve been distant, and moody, and what-not – but it\'ll all change now. I want you back.”



“I said, I don\'t want to discuss it now,” Ginny repeated stubbornly. “Come on, Harry...”



“Well, you don\'t need to move back tonight,” Harry conceded, “but let\'s at least make a plan. It\'s driving me crazy to come home, and not see you and Lily there. How about we aim for the first week of September?”



Ginny bit her lip, and then took a deep breath. “I want a divorce, Harry.”



“What?” In spite of the fact that they\'d spent the last three months apart, he was still shocked to hear it.



“You heard me. I want a divorce,” Ginny said with obviously forced calm.



“You\'re breaking up with me on my birthday?” Harry asked, only belatedly realizing how pitiful and self-centered that statement came out.



“I wasn\'t planning on doing it today,” Ginny said softly. “I told you I didn\'t want to talk about it.”



Harry sighed deeply. So she did.



“I don\'t understand,” Harry protested. “What\'s wrong? We\'re getting along better...”



“We are,” Ginny conceded quietly. “But it\'s not enough. I want something more.”



Harry threw his head up, suppressing an irritated remark. “Something more?” he asked, trying to keep his tone as understanding and non-confrontational as possible. “Like what?”



“Passion,” Ginny said softly. “Being in love. Being irresistible to someone. Being excited about living together, rather than tolerating a mediocre marriage because we care for each other and are too scared to be on our own.”



“I\'m not scared!” Harry spat indignantly, instantly irritated by the suggestion. “I know a great deal more about being on my own than you ever could.”



For a second he expected her to pick a fight over his outburst, but she just smiled with unusual sadness and nodded.



“Yes, I suppose you do,” she whispered, leaning towards him. She stroked his face absently, and pressed a small kiss to his brow.



Harry wrapped his arms around her and drew a deep breath, before burying his face in her hair one more time. “I love you,” he whispered, surprised by how much it hurt to say those words this time.



“I know,” she agreed, softly shifting in his arms and resting her head on his chest. “I still love you, Harry, I really do. I just don\'t think it\'s going to work to be together.”



For a long time, he simply held her, listening to nothing but the quiet, measured breathing in the room, hers and his own. Every time he inhaled, he could smell her scent, familiar, dear and filled with memories of affection and comfort. It\'s over, he thought, it\'s over, he repeated to himself each time he exhaled.



Letting her go like this somehow was harder than a bitter, angry fight would have been, because the ties of affection were still there, strong and permanent... and woefully insufficient.



She pulled away from him at long last, and gave him another brave smile that he returned unenthusiastically.



“All right. Now what?” he asked, feeling a lump in his throat as he spoke.



“Friends?” she offered hesitantly.



“Of course,” Harry agreed miserably. “What about Lily?”



“She should stay with me for now,” Ginny said firmly. “But you can come and visit any time you like.”



“I want her to stay with me, too, at least some of the time,” Harry protested at once, bracing himself for an argument.



“Out of the question,” she said flatly. “With the Death Eater threat to Snape? I don\'t want Lily to be there, should they attack your house.”



Harry muttered a quiet obscenity under his breath, wanting nothing more than to just argue, but knowing that Ginny had a valid point... once again.



“When everything settles down, we\'ll figure it out,” Ginny said. “I know that Lily needs you. I\'ll never come between you.”



“All right,” Harry said.



She reached to hug him again, and ran her fingers through his hair. “Don\'t sulk, Harry. It\'ll be all right,” she said hesitantly, as if attempting to convince herself, as much as him. “Come see Lily tomorrow.”



“I\'ll do that,” Harry said, rising to his feet. “Well, good night.”



He departed from the Burrow, holding Lily\'s drawing in his hands.



~ * ~



Rather than taking the Floo home, Harry Apparated to the village end of the lane and walked to the house, making a conscious attempt not to wallow in abject misery... much. The finality of the breakup with Ginny had begun to settle in, but he still had difficulty understanding it. He really did think that they were making progress, only to find out that he\'d managed to mistake simple gestures of friendship for something more. When he pushed the gate open, and saw the rose bushes, neatly planted alongside the path leading to his house, a familiar wave of rage welled up. For a brief moment, he was sorely tempted to kick one of the bushes, but remembered Severus crouched on the ground next to him, planting them, and held back.



He shook his head, and took a deep breath to calm himself, before opening the door, and walking in.



Luna walked out to greet him, with her finger pressed to her lips.



“Shh. He fell asleep on the couch,” she said. “Just let him sleep.”



“All right,” Harry said, also quietly. “Thank you, Luna.”



“You\'re welcome. How was your birthday party?” she asked, noticing the unhappy grimace on his face.



“Ginny broke up with me,” Harry mumbled miserably.



“Again?” Luna exclaimed in a subdued whisper.



“Well, I guess not,” Harry admitted reluctantly. “See, I\'d assumed that we were still together, and... she clarified things for me.”



“Oh. Well, I\'m sorry. That sounds really embarrassing,” Luna empathized, so sincerely that Harry instantly wanted to shake her. “On the other hand,” Luna mused, “aren\'t you glad you kept the cat?”



Harry chuckled resignedly, and nodded. “The cat is great.”



Luna took his arm and tugged on it gently. “I have something to show you,” she said, still speaking very quietly. “Come on.”



He followed her into the living room, where Tripod was napping in front of the hearth, and Severus was sleeping on the couch, lying on his side, with his right arm tucked under his head. Harry squinted slightly, looking at the familiar, still all-too thin frame of the man occupying his couch, and blinked in disbelief. Severus\' hair was no longer short. It was a long, dark curtain, extending to well below his shoulders, and half-covering his face.



Harry turned to Luna in confusion. It took a long time for the penny to drop, but finally, Harry voiced a hesitant guess. “He\'s doing magic again?”



Luna nodded silently.



“And the first thing he did was restore his hair to the normal length?” Harry asked, surprised, for the most part because he had never thought that Severus actually cared about a single aspect of his appearance.



“No, first he spent a couple of hours practising other spells first,” Luna said. “But when I went to cook dinner, he did this. Maybe he wanted to feel a bit like his old self again,” Luna added softly. “Please don\'t make fun of him, Harry.”



“I wouldn\'t do that,” Harry whispered, slightly horrified by the suggestion that he could be capable of it. “Want to see what my daughter gave me for my birthday?”



“Of course,” Luna said, and Harry showed the picture to her.



“It\'s lovely,” Luna said. “What is it?”



“According to Lily, it\'s Severus with long hair,” Harry said, smiling. “Imagine that, hm?”



Luna nodded. “She might have the gift of Divination. Either that, or it\'s a really weird coincidence.”



They stood together in the shadows of the living room for a while, looking at the sleeping Severus together. “The way his hair falls on his face,” Harry mused. “Looks like he\'s hiding.”



“Everyone hides, Harry,” Luna said. “Some of us have fewer hiding places than the rest. Let him have his.”



To Be Continued...