Coral

Words like violence

Break the silence

Come crashing in

Into my little world



Painful to me

Pierce right through me

Can't you understand

Oh my little girl



All I ever wanted

All I ever needed

Is here in my arms

Words are very unnecessary

They can only do harm









A week or so after the the train ride, Amanda was overcome with the inexplicable urge to crochet something. Rummaging through her pattern box, with every intention of crocheting a luncheon cloth or table runner, she came across a pattern for baby booties, worked in fine filet, with rosettes at the toe.



She put the pattern aside, only to take it up again and examine it. She took up the pattern for a rather boring runner, then another for a lampshade cover. A lampshade cover, she thought, was just what the table lamp in the parlor needed.



Once she had settled herself on the chaise, with her workbasket, and a good light, she found herself irresistibly drawn back to the baby shoes. Giving up, she decided to try just one, and quickly changed out her thread and hook for something much finer. The pattern was agonizingly tedious, and difficult to follow, but at last she had the shoe shape begun well enough to be recognizable.



Just as she was finishing, Polly came in with a tray of tea, and when she noticed what Amanda was making, the woman had dropped her duster, and clasped her hands under her chin.



Until that time, Amanda had not realized that she had been remiss in informing the other woman of her condition. Feeling incredibly guilty she had dropped the small shoe into her lap, and held her hands up in supplication.



" Oh, Polly. I am sorry!" she said. " I wasn't keeping it from you intentionally...I just haven't wanted to talk much about it. "



" Oh, don't worry about that! How do you feel?" Polly asked breathlessly.



" Rather well, actually."



" Couldn't I make you anything to eat? Something special?"



" No, thank you. I haven't been particularly hungry. Just an unusual urge to crochet. I guess that sounds strange."



" Nothing strange. New mothers always want odd things, but that doesn't make it strange. Here, let me at least get you a stool for your feet. And you've been up and around so much!"



Amanda gestured the other woman to sit for awhile with her, which was not an uncommon routine. She liked to talk to Polly, though the other woman was slightly stiff at times. She still had the occasional amusing anecdote, either about her family or about her first years of service to Winter.



At first, she had not wanted to say much of anything to Amanda, but bit by bit, after she came to trust her, she revealed that Eloise had made her so nervous that she ended up breaking one of Eloise's perfume bottles on the first day. And whereas Winter,( whose dogma on servants was that only married women must keep an aloofness with their maids, but spinsters and widows could afford to befriend them) Eloise had apparently mistrusted Polly for the first four years.



" I couldn't pour tea for her but she didn't think I was after her silver." Polly laughed. " But still, I do admire her. I hope to be just like her when I am her age."



Amanda found it acceptable enough to be friends with the maid, but then, she had never had one before, and being rather young, she saw no harm in it, so long as Polly did not try to pry to deeply into personal matters. Amanda liked for friendship to be a surface pleasantry. If she sought deeper guidance and advice, she would turn to her mother, or a friend such as Amele who did not share the same quarters.



She was at that point in her pregnancy where she welcomed any diversion which did not involve food or moving around in too violent a motion. She was so dizzy, that even the notes on the sheet music would spin and blur if sat down at the piano, and make her queasy. She found that to play the music, she had to stare at the wall, and play only those songs she knew by touch.



She spent the greater amount time listening to the record player instead, which was the perfect solution, provided she did not allow herself to watch the record actually spinning. It became so bad, that Stella took her to see Healer Thoroughgood, who reassured her by saying that she was perfectly normal, that she should eat soda crackers, and that it meant the baby was going to be a Quidditch player.



Lying at home, in her bed, with cold compresses applied to her forehead, she hoped that it became a famous Quidditch player, as that was the only way it could justify the suffering. Edward, whose romantic plans had been momentarily halted due to her illness, tried awkwardly to amuse her, but eventually, she became so irritated with herself for feeling bad, that she began to speak sharply to him, and eventually he retired to the library, where he spent his hours in solitary sullenness.



---



Eloise had never been so beloved as the day that she arrived with a case of small glass bottles, each holding a carefully concocted potion ideal for relieving a woman's discomfort during pregnancy. She apologized for not having them sooner, but the potion had to season for three weeks.



" One vial a day, in the morning with a cold glass of water. Never more than one. And keep them in the cold pantry, they have kelp in them and you don't want that to spoil."



Amanda could hardly wait for the next morning, when she could ring for Polly to bring her one. She had woken up much earlier than usual however, and then remembered that the day was Sunday. Sundays Polly had the entire day off, and was all the way in Cornwall, visiting with her family.



Resolving herself to the necessity of having to negotiate the morning and the staircase in order to find relief, Amanda forced herself out of the bed. She found a note from Edward, reminding her that he was taking the morning to buy unicorn hair. This yearly event took place on the Hogwarts school grounds, where he claimed they kept unicorns. He was never happy when he had to purchase such rare supplies, he could, he claimed "remember when it was only ten galleons a peck for unicorn hair." Apparently, now he could spend ten and get a fourth of that.



Tucking the note into her silver box, which was packed tightly with such notes and letters, she chided herself for the past week, and her short-temper, resolving to prepare something special for dinner. Surely with the help of Eloise's brew, she could stand to make something he liked.



This was the extent of her thoughts as she staggered into her dressing room to find something cool and comfortable to wear.



As she was dressing, she began to experience a feeling of great unease. At first she thought it might be physical, and she held her breath, trying to place it. Mentally, she felt out every limb and organ, listened to her own heartbeat. No..it was something else. A subtle discomfort, such as when the air was too cool or too hot to notice right away. Hastily she pulled a pale green cotton dress over head, and began buttoning it as she stepped out.



She thought it might be only a mild claustrophobia, but when she exited, the feeling only intensified,only now it had a familiarity to it. She felt very alone.

This was not the first time she had been alone, and she was never nervous or scared of dark rooms, or corners. This aloneness was different. She had the sudden and terrifying sensation that she might be alone in the bedroom, but that someone else was in the house.



Her breath quickened as she stood, trying to decide what to do. It would be easy enough to open the door, and investigate, but for some absurd reason, her hands were shaking, and the thought of going downstairs was as improbable as leaping from the third story window.



Taking up her wand, she stood, facing the door and straining her ears. She could hear nothing. Edward could have returned early, or Polly may have forgotten a pattern or recipe for her mother. Or, it could be her imagination.



Swallowing, she advanced carefully toward the door, making no sound as she tread barefoot across the hardwood floor. Thankfully, due to her perseverance in keeping all of the hinges well oiled, the door was also silent as she swung it slowly open. The doors to the other upstairs rooms were closed.



Listening again, she heard nothing, but the anxiety did not dissipate. It was now severe enough to cause her pulse to pound rapidly.



Her first instinct was to want Edward.



Or Eloise. Polly, Stella,...anyone who could use a real wand. Glancing down the hall toward the balcony, she realized what she wanted to do. Perhaps she was just imagining things, and perhaps she was being foolish, but she would risk being ridiculed this one time. Creeping to the balcony door, she opened it and beckoned Crisp inside.



For once, he was relatively silent, and she hurried with him back into her room, glancing over her shoulder at the staircase as she did, certain that at any moment, an unfamiliar and evil face was going to appear.



As soon as her door was closed and locked, (For what good that would do, she thought), she took out a piece of paper and scrawled a hasty note in a shaky hand. She couldn't send it to Edward, he had told her that the grounds to Hogwarts were protected by anti-Apparation/Disapparation charms. He wouldn't be able to come fast enough. To Amele? No, she had the children, and couldn't simply leave them on a whim.



She tied the note shakily to Crisp's scrawny leg.



" Take that to Aunt Eloise. Make sure that she, or Winter, or Stella open it immediately. And Crisp, for god's sake, please hurry!" she whispered. The bird seemed to understand. He too, kept his head cocked, as though listening or sensing something at a great distance.



He flew out of the smaller, high dressing room window, which faced the side of the house, and had been gone only a few minutes when she felt the tension in the air slacken, and she began to relax.





She still did not hear anything, or anyone, and began to chide herself on being so foolish.



As soon as the fear began to fade, she felt a bit weak. The room spun slightly, and she thought once more of the vials downstairs. She decided that she could simply creep out of her room again and descend quietly, watching carefully for intruders.



If everything was as it should be, then the doors to the library, dining room, study and kitchen would be closed, and she should be able to see from the landing whether or not they were. IF the slightest thing were out of place, she promised herself, she would return to her room immediately.



Courage failed her for quite some time. She merely stood regarding her door, hoping to hear Eloise's reassuring, and no doubt irritated, voice at any moment. At last, she could no longer ignore the roiling in her stomach, and took a deep breath. There was still a twinge of apprehension, but that was most likely residual, it took a much longer to lose fear than to build it.



She forced herself to walk towards the landing, and when she felt nothing, and saw nothing out of the ordinary , she relaxed, and was about to lower the wand when she heard a muffled noise in what must be the study. It sounded as if something metal, perhaps a lamp base, had fallen to the thick rug.



Amanda froze, and held her breath again. She wished the blood would stop rushing through her ears, it was making it very difficult to hear anything. Another smaller thump. She began to inch backwards, preparing to return to the sanctuary of the bedroom.



Just as she found the next step up with her bare heel, she heard the opening of the front latch. Relief flooded her as she saw Polly's figure enter, and close the door, unaware of her mistress standing above her own the landing.



She didn't remove her hat, which meant she must have returned only briefly to retrieve something. When she turned and espied Amanda, she started, and frowned.

Amanda placed a finger to her lips, and tried through urgent signals, to explain why Polly should not go into the parlor. The other girl only looked at her strangely, so Amanda beckoned for her to come upstairs. Another thump, and then footsteps sounded in the other room.



Polly drew her wand swiftly, turning first to face the noise then back toward Amanda as though in question. Amanda nodded, and took a step down.

She froze when she realized that Polly now had her wand pointed directly at her. For a moment she only stared at her stupidly, unsure. The other woman drew back her arm quite suddenly and cast a silent spell.



Amazingly, Amanda managed to get her own arm up soon enough to deflect it. She felt it graze against her harmlessly. Polly ducked to avoid it's ricochet, seemingly surprised. She had not known that Amanda's wand could do more than a few dusting charms.



For the briefest moment, they regarded each other, then Polly sent another hex. This one Amanda easily avoided, and reciprocated with a freezing charm. Polly sidestepped it lightly. Amanda choked down the bitter taste of helpless panic.



Eloise's lessons had not prepared her for how frightening it was to be faced by a real enemy, and her confusion at being attacked by someone so familiar only slowed her reflexes. She should have attacked, but all she could think to do was to defend herself, hoping that someone would arrive soon.



Polly was not about to allow for that chance, and loudly cast a third hex, aiming slightly to Amanda's left. When Amanda half-turned, half swayed while deflecting it, Polly dropped gracefully to one knee.



" You just don't learn." she said softly, before murmuring a simple tripping charm, at the same time that Amanda sent a stunning spell.



In a few scary seconds their battle was ended.





The impact of the tripping spell hit Amanda in the knees, and they buckled immediately. She had been leaning slightly forward to cast the stun, and the combination of the awkward angle and severity of the blow caused her to stumble.

For one horrifying moment, she teetered on the edge of the steps, unable to reach the railing, then pitched forward, as her knees turned to liquid.



One part of her mind screamed that it was only a nightmare, that she should wake up and escape, but the moment she felt her body collide with the hard edge of the top step, she knew that this was no dream.



She clawed and fought the entire way down, trying desperately to seize hold of anything that would support her . She felt her fingernails being ripped out by the runner, and the repeated bruising's as her body struck against the steps. It seemed like an eternity of falling; a nightmarish quilt of risers and balusters passing before her eyes, just out of reach.



Her teeth bit into her tongue as she rolled out onto the floor, her head striking the newel post with such force that it caused a premature ringing from the grandfather-clock.



An enormous black field began to encroach across her field of vision. Briefly, she saw a blurred figure standing over her with hand raised.



" Pol-ly?" she croaked, trying to think. Trying to remember what had caused he to fall. She couldn't...she hurt too much, and she was so sleepy. So dizzy. I need some of that potion...I something...she managed to say to herself, before complete and merciful darkness overtook her.



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Enjoy the Silence-Depeche Mode