Other Worlds

The pain was blinding, worse than the time his Dad had taken the chair leg to his back. Worse than the time he'd knocked him down the stairs. Shit, so many to choose from; that was depressing. Well, now he had a new gold standard. Getting Voldemort's Mark was the worst pain Severus had ever experienced, and his Occlumency walls were going to start cracking if it didn't stop...right..

...Now. Oh thank the gods, it was done, and Voldemort was moving on to the next poor dumb fucker, and he was still alive. It wasn't until the third man in the line up's time had come that Severus had realised that surviving the rite itself wasn't automatically a given. The man's heart had just given up, and he'd been tossed on the pile of corpses in the corner of the room. And hadn't that been a fun surprise? A pile, a fucking pile of corpses, right in front of him. No warning from Lucius about that little golden nugget, just a comment that as a Potion Master Severus was exempt from a certain part of the initiation ritual.

The rising hysterical giggle was quickly shoved behind his mental walls. Exempt from the part where the brand new Death Eaters hunted, raped, tortured and killed their very own muggle. Muggles, for fucks sake, like they had had any chance against a sadist with a wand grabbing them off the street. Two candidates had fallen there, refusing with their last shred of honour intact to rape and kill, and had been painfully slaughtered by the insane whirlwind that was Bellatrix LeStrange. As were, of course, the muggles they had died to save, thrown like toys to the ravening mob. Blood everywhere, screams tearing the night apart and now, still more screams as the hellish Mark seared into flesh and magic.

Another candidate dead. Four out of the ten presented. Not a healthy retention rate, all things considered. No, make that five. Merlin! How had Nott survived this at his age? Movement. People shuffling into rows, some moving with less ease than others. Unsurprisingly, given the amount of Cruciatus flung around this room for the last two hours. Bowing. Everyone bowing. The crack of disapparation as Voldemort and his fucking snake left the room.

Ah yes, the Big. Fucking. Snake. Merlin, Loki and Anansi, but that was a big snake. He would have liked a little warning about the snake. Fucking Lucius. A man should mention these things. Then again, what with the big fucking pile of corpses alone, he might just have declined his invitation if he'd have known what the 'Special Ceremony' had involved. Like there had been an invitation. Like there had been a fucking choice. He should be sitting with Lily and James, listening to Sirius taking the piss, not stood in front of a fucking big pile of fucking corpses. Oh god, he was going to have to watch all these things again in the Department and the Big. Fucking. Snake. That, if he concentrated on, might block his view of the nurse. Snake. Eating what might be a house elf but in any case was small with one shoe. SNAKE. THINK OF THE SNAKE.

A hand on his elbow. Lucius. Fucking Lucius. You could go right off some people, you know? There he was, thinking Lucius was completely, probably, separate from the violence, the terrorism, the murders; thinking the Inner Circle was somehow separate from the Death Eaters of the war, spokesman for a fucking intellectual/political dinner party gathering. They were all fucking Death Eaters. Cheering each other on, and oh yes, Severus had heard Lucius' voice amongst them, had seen his hand flying on his prick as the Muggles had screamed and struggled and

Merlin, he was Draco's godfather. His godson had this piece of steaming shit as a father, and while no-one could award Tobias Forever-Damned Snape a Father of the Year Trophy Severus was pretty damn sure he'd never stood in a room cheering and wanking while

Fuck, he needed to go. He couldn't stay, he was too close to breaking, and if he broke here it was for Nothing, Nothing at all, and some other dumb fuck with an idealistic streak was going to come here and die because he couldn't hold his mind together. How long is the socially acceptable time to leave after a death orgy? Narcissa never covered this in her Gentle Introduction For Poor Dear Halfbloods. It hadn't been on the curriculum, not even for Slytherin House. Was one expected to help hose down the blood and shit. No, no, that was for the freaky masked fucking house elves. Masked house elves. You couldn't make it up. Tiny masked house elves with tiny Death Eater masks picking up tiny

He needed to get Draco and run like fuck before Draco got moulded into thinking anything about that room was ok. He needed to find Sirius and tell him that he was the best and wisest man he knew for escaping from that fucked up family and could he please just fuck him until his brain stopped screaming at him about the shoe, the little shoe, it was right there in front of the snake and

Lucius saying something about a port key home, and fuck yes, because Spinners End, no snakes at Spinners End, Sirius was waiting at Spinners End and Sirius would take him to

Black whirling noise and no clear vision, and flying and landing and being sick, sick for days and days and days and 'Severus, Severus, can you move, fuck, Severus, Mysteries, yeah mate, you need to come through, bring a healer, this is just fucked', and retching then 'ok, Mr Snape, we're going to move you to the couch, what the hell has happened here, severe shock and disassociation, we need to get him to the clinic, THIS MAN NEEDS A MIND HEALER.'

The shoe on the floor in front of him and

Severus, I'm here mate, listen to the healer, ok? I've got you mate

Oh Merlin

The shoe was so small Sirius, it was so

Severus, I'm going to take these memories out; just think of where you were at seven pm and focus on the start of that memory. Just the start, Severus, stepping through the Floo to Malfoy Manor, I'll get the rest, I'll take it all out, Severus, and your cousin can take it away, and you don't ever have to see it again, Severus, now, seven o'clock and you're going to use the Floo

A wall ahead and a warm chest behind and strong arms around and It's ok mate, I've got you and Sev, oh Sev, love, come back to us, we're all here, we're all here Sev, that's it, it's ok to cry Sev, I've got you mate, I've got you, you're safe here, oh god, James, what have we done

I've got you mate

I've got you.