Falling to pieces

I woke the next morning still laying on my side, but I found a heavy blanket now covering me. I realized I must had fallen asleep after my mental breakdown from the night before. But wondered how I had gotten covered. I laid there, rubbing my eyes, getting the sleep out. The events of the night before were not forgotten and I instantly felt that nervous pit in my stomach return. I groggily laid there, still half asleep. Wishing I could avoid ever going down stairs. The sound of light breathing suddenly jolted me wide awake.

I turned around and saw Draco sitting in the large arm chair that was next to my bed. He was slouched against the side, his hands curled under his head in a makeshift pillow. His long legs splayed in front of him, one actually draped on the edge of my mattress. He was sound asleep and looked peaceful. I enjoyed the look of calm on his face. I don't know how long I sat there watching him slowly breath in and out. It was almost hypnotizing in a way. I slowly moved to get out of bed not wanting to wake him. I swung my legs over the bed, slowly stretching my back muscles out. I was used to sleeping on cots and sleeping on this soft mattress was doing a number on me. My being quiet didn't work.

“Good morning.” Draco said in a groggy state. I looked over my shoulder and he too was now stretching his muscles. I stood from my bed and rounded the corner to face him. I assume he knew I was curious to why he was in my room. “ You were yelling in the middle of the night, and I came in to make sure you were okay. You were asleep, you were having a nightmare. I went to wake you up, but you....” He stopped and I was curious why.

“I what?” I pleaded.

“Well when I touched your shoulder, you calmed down, like instantly. Then you said my name. I decided not to wake you, and I covered you with a blanket and I stayed in here in case you had another nightmare. I guess not, because I fell asleep and you never woke me. Until now that is. I didn't mean to scare you or anything.” His sweetness surprised me, even after the night before.

“Well thank you, it was nice of you to come in.” I thought back to what my dream could have been. I remembered being back on the floor, Bellatrix LeStrange pinning me down. I could feel the sting of her dagger carving my arm. I unconsciously rubbed my forearm with my hand. Draco noticed and walked to me.

He grabbed my hand and removed it. He grabbed my forearm and pulled it towards him. I thought of pulling it back, but didn't. He slowly, almost tortuously, pulled my sleeve up. I watched his face as he saw my scar. I saw his face slightly cringe, as if in pain. He traced the letters with his fingertips.

“I heard Ron and Harry talking about this before. I had hoped it wasn't as bad as they made it sound. I'm so sorry, Hermione. I'm so sorry.” He shook his head, a look of disgust on his face. He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips across the rancid word permanently carved into my flesh. I closed my eyes, blocking the tears from showing how much the act still hurt me. When I opened them again he was standing there looking at me, still holding my arm. His eyes glistened and I was surprised at how hurt he really seemed.

“You didn't do it, Draco. There is no reason to apologize.” I tried to comfort him. I wondered why it seemed the roles reversed.

“But I stood around and let everyone hurt you guys. I watched them lock up Ron and Harry, and Luna and everyone. I just watched everything. I stood around the corner while she did this to you. I heard you begging for her to leave you alone. I listened to your screams as she carved you. I could have ran out at anytime and stopped her, but I didn't. It was that single moment, hearing those screams from you, that made me decide to leave. I couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't handle all of the evil. I couldn't do it.” Draco finally let me see him, the vulnerable, deep side of him. A single tear fell down his face and he turned to quickly hide it. He started to leave the room.

I walked swiftly to catch him. I grabbed his arm, and he stopped. He wouldn't turn to look at me until I pulled him to do so. His tear had disappeared, and his eyes were dry. He wouldn't make eye contact with me, he avoided it like the plague. I tentatively reached up and cupped his face with my hand and brought it down to look at me. I found pain in his eyes. I hated it. I was feeling sorry for him, something I had never felt for him.

“Draco.” It's all I said, all I needed to say. He met me half way, knowing what I wanted to give him.

The kiss was sweet. It was like the ones in the muggle films I watched. No moving, no sensuality, just a kiss. A kiss to kill the pain. After what seemed like an eternity we finally moved, the kiss gained some momentum. His hands moved to my back and my hands moved to his hair. This time it was me begging entrance into his mouth, and it surprised me. He obliged and soon I was moving backwards. My knees hit the back of my bed. We stopped moving then and Draco pulled away.

“I don't want you doing anything you don't want to.....” He was cut off by my lips crashing back to his. I knew what he meant, and it meant a lot to me that he would even care about how I felt. I knew what I was doing and if I didn't want to I wouldn't. After last night I knew I wanted Draco and I wasn't going to deny myself anymore.

We tipped backwards onto the mattress, a giggle escaping me as we fell.............................