Just Like Jesse James

Just Like Jesse James
Chapter 3

Darkness. How fitting. The one constant in my life was the night, the overbearing darkness as I lay pensively, either in regret or anger. That night, it was regret.

The darkness seemed even more brooding that evening, no longer displaced by the flickering of a buzzing television set, only the dim radiance of the stars peering through the window granting me any vision. It was as though I was a student again, sitting in the darkness. Except I was no longer sharing a room with five other people. I could find no solace in listening to Dean's bizarre sleep talk.

Wait, Dean talked in his sleep? So he was a friend of mine back in the day. Just being here helped my memory, though I wished it wouldn't. I laid waste to my memory for good reason, though the temporary relief it brought me to look back on some beloved casualties of my self-destruction, like those intense games of wizard chess with Ron, or the very warm feelings I felt in the Burrow. At least I knew again that when I wondered if my life wasn't always misery, I knew I wasn't lying to myself.

I may have laid there all night without a word, had a knock not found its way to my door. "Who is it?" I asked. I was still in my clothes, lying on top of the covers, so I was decent enough for whatever company may have approached.

"It's Albus."

"Come in, Prof-Albus." It was still a strange feeling calling him by his first name, one I hadn't yet adjusted to. Through all my years of systematically forgetting everything of my adolescence, I was still compelled to treat Dumbledore with as much respect as I could.

The old man stepped in with nary a creak on the floor. "I assume you've gotten settled in, Harry? I hope you'll be fine without some of the muggle items you had before arriving. As you know, electric devices don't work on school grounds."

"It's alright, Albus, I'm fine."

"Alright then, good. I came to you because there's something I need your help with. I know it is short notice, but Professor Edgecombe has fallen ill because of Peeve's prank during the dinner, and she seems to be out of commission. She's no longer willing to leave her classroom, so I've made some arrangements in that respect, but her house is now without a head."

"And you want me to take over as head of house."

"Precisely. I understand if you have some troubles, as it is after all your first year teaching here."

"No, I can do it. Can I just ask you a question, Albus?"

"You have just asked me one, but I'll permit another."

I should have seen that coming. I'd fallen for it many times as a student.

"Why did you ask me to come and teach?"

"Because you are an accomplished wizard, Harry, despite years of having neglected your gifts. You demonstrated an incredible display during..." He searched for words, and I could tell he wanted to be very careful how he phrased it. "...During your time as a student here."

I could tell there was more to it than that, just as I suspected since receiving his letter, but I said nothing of it.

"When do I start?"

"Tomorrow, we will address the Ravenclaw house in the common room and I will introduce them to you."

"Ravenclaw?" No, please, no. That was the last thing I needed, being around Luna to such a degree. It had to be a senior moment, he surely meant Hufflepuff. I would have even accepted a role as head of Slytherin at that point.

"Yes, Miss Edgecombe was head of Ravenclaw."

It was as though Peeves had done it on purpose, to punish me. I wouldn't have put it past him, actually.
**********************(scene break)**********************
"This is Professor Potter comes into it. He will be teaching you Defence Against the Dark Arts, and will act as head of the house until Miss Edgecombe is willing to leave her classroom."

Luna was there, smiling at me. I was her friend, and she was glad to know that it would mean she'd have more time with what she assumed to be a kindred soul. If only she knew the truth, that I saw her as something very distant from a friend.

Albus continued to speak as I found myself again torn, just as I had when I awoke from my dream the day earlier. What was I thinking? And why? She was kooky, but what about that made her so alluring, so much more enthralling than any grown woman I'd ever met? Her long, unkempt dirty blond hair, her strange concept of jewelry, her distant, airy expression...it was all so enticing. It was unhealthy, not only on the level of age difference, but on the level of how, among all the ruins of my thoughts, memories destroyed in frustration, she remained so vivid, as though she drove flag into the charred ground of my mind. She was there, never to leave.

My thoughts cut out as Albus, almost as though he knew I wasn't paying attention, asked much louder, "Oh, my, look where the time has gone. If nobody has any questions for Professor Potter, I believe it's time for breakfast."

Nobody having anything to say, we all walked to the dining hall, friend chattering idly as we went.
**********************(scene break)**********************
"Congratulations, Harry," Hermione said as she, Ron, and Harry sat together at the staff table just as they had all those years ago.

"Yeah, Dumbledore's really got faith in you. I thought for sure Hermione was going to get it, Edgecombe doesn't have the command to handle a few rowdy students, I had no clue how she'd deal with the whole house."

"Well, maybe Dumbledore's holding out for when your nephews give you a run for your money," Hermione snapped back playfully. Ron was the new head of Gryffindor, a role he and his wife Hermione had both vied for. He won out in hopes of being able to control the influx of Weasleys on the way; twins from Charlie and one from Bill.

"You don't seem very proud, Harry," Ron noted. Indeed, I didn't even try to look happy about it, for a variety of reasons.

"Harry, we know it's hard being back here again, but you should try to-"

"It's not that. I have a lot on my mind right now, I carried some baggage with me from my flat in London."

"Dean said you acting funny when we ran into him last week, said he hadn't seen you in a while. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"No, nothing. I'd rather just drop it, guys."

"Fine," Ron said, returning to his sausages. Hermione, of course, wasn't nearly as easy.

"Harry, you really should tell someone, and we're your friends. Please, don't-"

"Fuck it," I cut her off, leaving my breakfast half-eaten as I swiftly left the great hall and began my trek to my new room. Of course, the house elves had already moved all my belongings from my room in the staff section over to the head's room in the Ravenclaw tower.

As I stepped into the common room, I noticed something odd. There was somebody else in there, and it was none other than the resident fourth year crazy girl, Luna. She lay curled up on the couch with a book while everyone else ate downstairs.

"What are you doing up here?" I asked, sitting on a chair near the sofa.

"It's quiet when nobody's around. I like it, it's such a beautiful room, but it's always ruined by people shouting. It's calm, relaxing, and until Christmas, it'll only happen in the mornings."

"But don't you get hungry?"

"I do, but I can wait until lunch for that. I can start the day without toast, but I wouldn't dream of going to class without getting some light reading done."

"What book is it?"

"Dante's Inferno. It's a muggle book, but the poetry in it is remarkable."

"That's light reading for you?"

"When you're a fourteen year-old who doesn't have many friends, reading becomes easy for you."

"But I saw you at that club that night with other girls."

"My dad's the only one who will set up port keys to go out, they just bring me along because he asks them to."

How sad. She was such a remarkable girl, well-read, and even if a bit kooky, it made her endearing. And yet, she had no friends, nobody to talk to. She skipped breakfast so that she could read in silence. It was so strange, so heart-breaking seeing her in that position.

As much as it pained me to even be around her, I'd stay with her. She needed a friend, needed a companion, and as much as I hated it, I did, too. Ron and Hermione had a good life, they were in love, they had everything. I was alone, sometimes ringing up my friend Jim Bean for a night on the town. I had demons, and Hermione was right; I did need to come out with them, but they became a distant memory the moment this girl walked into the club. I would resist, for her.

Soon, the Ravenclaws came up from breakfast to get their book bags and rush off to class. I also rushed off, I had a first period class with some first years.
**********************(scene break)**********************
After my class, I went down to the kitchens. I was going to ask one of the house elves a favour, but as I came in one walked right into me. I fell back and looked to see a very apologetic house elf dusting me off and picking me up.

"Dobby is very sorry, master professor, I didn't mean to-"

"Dobby?" I asked, standing up with surprise. I couldn't believe that Dobby was still working at Hogwarts.

"Harry Potter?" his eyes grew wide with wonder as his eyes came upon my scar, faded by time. He leaped up and hugged me. "Dobby has missed you, Harry Potter. It is so good to see you again. Dobby heard you were coming to Hogwarts to teach, but Dobby had no idea you would come visit him! Oh, Dobby is so happy!"

"It's good to see you again, Dobby." I reached into my pants pocket, underneath my robes. I always kept a sock with me just in case I ran into him and needed a favour It started when I was a student here, and it just sort of became a part of my routine to carry a sock in my pocket. "Here you go."

Dobby ecstatically accepted the old grey sock. "Oh, Dobby is so thankful. Does Harry Potter want a sock of Dobby's in exchange?"

"No, Dobby, it's fine. I do have a favour to ask of you, though."

"What is it, Harry Potter? Dobby will be glad to help."

"There's a girl in Ravenclaw named Luna. She always stays upstairs for breakfast and refuses to come down, and I was wondering if you could do me a favour and sneak up two plates of breakfast every morning, one for me and one for her.”

“Why does she need two plates?”

“I want to keep her company, she gets lonely. Can you do that for me, Dobby?”

"Oh, Dobby would be happy to, Harry Potter."

"Thank you," I said as the house elf went to show everyone his new sock.
**********************(scene break)**********************
Teaching was certainly an interesting feeling. I finally understood the frustration of my teachers, who constantly told me to shut up and pay attention. It wasn't Potions or History, though, and most people stayed fairly attentive, partly due to the subject matter and partly because of the teacher. They weren't learning from some washed-up amateur dueler, they were learning from Harry Potter, the boy who lived, who in his teens had duelled and bested Voldemort himself on multiple occasions. The students were pretty amazed by that fact, and I spent the majority of the first period with each class just dispelling rumours they heard about me. I decided to take it easy, remembering some very brutal first periods I'd had with teachers, and eventually all of them had departed well before the period was supposed to end.

It was a pretty good first day, and retiring to my bedroom, I was too exhausted to think about Luna. I slipped under the blankets and fell asleep.