The Boys Who Lived

Rating: Still PG-13 but, i promise it will go up soon enough...

A/N: Here’s another chapter, I hope you like it. Also, I wanted to think all my readers and reviewers for their support, you have been a lot of help!!!

***Chapter 3: The Crush***

Just before dinner that night, as Harry sat in the common room with Hermione and Ron, a seventh year Gryffindor came to tell him Dumbledore would like to see him in the headmaster’s office.
“It’s probably about Sirius, charging in without forethought of the danger of being caught.” Hermione said in an exasperated tone.
Harry smiled at Ron while rolling his eyes and said he would see them later. As he walked towards the headmaster’s office, Harry couldn’t help but smile. He hadn’t seen his godfather for several months and Harry was eager to be near him again. Since his godfather came into his life, Harry had hope that one day he would have a family, that Sirius would be it. For a moment, at the end of third year, he had thought it would come true. Sirius had said that he could come and live with him, they would be family. The burst of joy he had felt at hearing those few words had warmed him, taking away the loneliness that sometimes threatened to suffocate him.
However, with the escape of a traitorous rat by the name of Wormtail, his hopes of finally having a home were dashed. Sirius had, with the help of Hermione and himself, escaped his sentence of the Dementors Kiss and had been on the lamb ever since.
Upon entering the office, he found his mentor sitting behind the desk, an all too familiar twinkle in his eyes.
“Aw, Harry, I am glad you have arrived. It’s seems you have a visitor that has been very eager to see you!” With that Dumbledore stood and walked towards the offices entrance. “If you don’t mind, I believe I will head down to the Great Hall for dinner. The house elves had prepared a most delicious meal tonight and I am keen to partake. Good evening, gentlemen.”
Harry watched the elderly wizard leave and then turned around, glancing around the room to locate his godfather. To the left of him, near the roaring fireplace sat what looked like a large mangy black dog, but was in fact, was Sirius Black in his animagus form. The dog walked over to Harry and nuzzled his hand and licked it, whining quietly. Laughing, Harry knelt down and wrapped his arms around the dog, hugging him tightly.
The dog quickly morphed into the kneeling figure of Sirius. His godfather hugged him back and whispered in a strained gruff voice, “Thank Merlin, you’re alright! I about keeled over when I heard about what happened, Kiddo.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Sirius. I missed you.” Harry said quietly, the tears that had been threatening all day, finally began cascading down his cheeks.
“Everything will be alright…” Sirius murmured. Holding his godson, he comforted Harry while the boy let all his fears and frustration out.
Harry’s sobs, muffled by the weathered robes of his godfather, after a time gave way to quiet sniffles and whimpers. Finally Harry seemed to have cried all he needed and he raised his head looking into sad grey eyes.
“Much better?” Sirius questioned.
“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to cry all over you…” Harry smiled sheepishly as he wiped the remaining tears from his eyes.
“Think nothing of it; everyone needs a good cry now and then. I myself have never needed it but, those less fortunate who were not graced with these good looks and sparkling personality must find other ways to cope!” Sirius smirked, his eyes dancing in mirth.
Harry snorted and said “Whatever, get’s you through the day, Sirius.”
“Oi, respect you’re elders, squirt!” Sirius barked out as he boxed Harry's ears in teasing reproach.
Laughing, Harry and Sirius stayed there talking late into the night, until Sirius with a groan of disappointment said he best be off.
“Well, Harry, try not to get yourself in anymore life threatening situations this year. I don’t think my heart can take it!”
Harry promised to try his best and said goodbye. Sirius threw some powder in the headmaster’s fireplace, said his destination and disappeared with a swirl of green flames.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Over the next several weeks, Harry and Cedric found themselves gravitating towards the other. They found a natural comfort that neither could really explain but, was more than welcome. When possible, the boys would spend time together, whether it was studying in the library or around Hogwarts grounds, now that it was spring. Their relationship grew into a close friendship quickly.
Studying in the library one night, Harry looked up from the tome he was reading. Cedric sat across the table from him, head down, a look of deep concentration on his face as his wavy light brown hair fell into his eyes. As a seventh year, Cedric had been spending nearly every free moment studying for his upcoming N.E.W.T.’s. The end of term was only a few weeks away and with it came final exams.
Just the other day, Harry and he had been talking about what Cedric wanted to do after graduating and Cedric had said he had plans to stay on at Hogwarts for several years to apprentice under Professor Flitwick in Charms. When Harry had heard this he felt a tingly sort of feeling spread through his body, warming him and making him irrationally giddy. Harry had immediately pushed down those feelings, he was not sure he wanted to delve into what they meant exactly. However, no matter how much he tried, he found himself smiling for no reason at all and constantly staring at the older boy, studying him.
Since the night of the final task, Harry had realized that a bond had been formed between the two of them. Part of it was the fame and notoriety they received as “The Boys Who Lived.” They were both commended in some circles for having survived such a traumatic event. In other circles they were criticized for “trying to seek fame from lies about the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” or so Minister Fudge had claimed in the Daily Prophet.
The school was no different, some stood up for them, saying that if Harry and Cedric said He had returned, they believed them. Of course, the some, mainly the Slytherins, tried their best to throw accusations at every turn, trying to cast doubt on their integrity. Others did not know what to believe and chose to stay out of the clashing groups.
“Harry, you’re staring.” Cedric declared as he looked up from his homework.
“What? Oh, sorry…” Harry mumbled as he blushed and looked away.
Laughing, Cedric put down his quill and stopped working for a moment.
“So, what are your plans for the summer?” Cedric asked.
“The usual, just going back to my relatives for most of it. I might go and stay at the Burrow for a little while at the end but, most of my summers are spent in Surrey. Why? What are your plans?” Harry asked.
“Well, my parents and I are going to France for a few weeks just after I come home, my aunt and uncle live there. However, for the most part, I didn’t have anything set in stone.” Cedric replied as he played with the quill in front of him. “I was kind of thinking I could come and visit you sometime, if you would like. I received my apparition license last summer, so I could visit whenever you liked.”
Harry beamed, the smile spreading across his face. “I’d like that; it can get kind of boring for me during the summer.”
They stared at each other in a comfortable silence for a few seconds, neither wanting to break the spell cast between them. But a student nearby stood up, his chair scraping on the hard flagstone beneath it breaking the connection.
“What is the Burrow?” Cedric asked.
“Oh, that’s Ron’s family’s home. His family has lived there for a long time; I think it was built by his great-grandfather or something. Anyways, it’s this perfect little place surrounded by a small forest and it had a pond nearby. They have farm animals that are always about and little gnomes that are constantly burrowing under Mrs. Weasley’s garden. I love it there, whenever I visit they make me feel like one of the family, well honestly they always do that but, when I’m there it feels warm and comforting, like a real home. Besides Hogwarts, it is the place I feel the safest at.”
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
While Harry spoke, his eyes lit up and a big smile lit across his face. To Cedric, it was obvious that he thought “The Burrow” was like heaven on earth. Cedric would love to see this place if it made Harry this happy.
Though Cedric smiled outwardly, inside his mind analyzed the words Harry had spoken. Though unknowingly, Harry had told him another little glimpse of his home life and from what Cedric had gathered so far, he did not like the picture that came to mind.
He had heard here and there about Harry’s home life, as he was friends with a seventh year Gryffindor. It seemed that Harry’s relatives did not treat him well and if he had heard right, they possibly abused the younger boy as well. From what Cedric had seen, in the beginning of every new school year, Harry looked underweight and his clothes were always many sizes too large. Sometimes, the things Harry said made it clear, that he had not had an easy life. He always seemed to light up when people showed him affection, as if he was starved for it. Whenever Cedric had asked about Harry’s family, Harry always gave the bare facts and then quickly changed the subject.
The thought that Harry’s family could treat him like that, that any family could treat another member like that, angered him. He had been tempted at times to visit his so called family and tear them up for their treatment of his friend. Cedric did not know when it had begun but, a protective feeling had started to envelop him when he thought of Harry, he felt alarmed when he thought of all the young boy had been through and what he knew was still to come.
Cedric couldn’t help but think about the first time he had seen Harry four years ago. A fourth year at the time, he had sat at the Hufflepuff table just as the welcoming feast had begun. Professor McGonagall had come into the Great Hall, the first years trailing behind her. When he first spotted Harry, he hadn’t known who he was; just that he looked like a curious but scared boy. His messy blue-black hair and pale white skin had caught Cedric’s eye but, his eyes had kept him looking. Those soulful emerald eyes had captivated him. They were so expressive and lively, like jewels sparkling in the light. Of course, as the years wore on Cedric saw more and more of Harry, he had watched as the tiny scared boy had grown into a fiercely protective friend who was always supportive of those around him.
Harry was intelligent, funny, kind, giving and he was also stunningly beautiful. He knew that Harry complained about his small stature and thin seeker’s build but, Cedric found it very appealing. The combination of the small frame, messy black hair, glowing emerald eyes and feisty personality, reminded Cedric of a Sprite or a Pixie. Ethereally beautiful, with slight feminine features. However, he had a strong masculine presence about him that never allowed for people to think he was anything but a man.
Cedric had been attracted to Harry since shortly after the beginning of the school year and he had no idea what to do about it. Having realized two years ago that he was gay, Cedric had slowly found his way in dating the same sex. He had dated here and there, nothing public as he was not ready to be open about it and nothing truly serious that is, until Harry. The way he felt about the Gryffindor, he knew was significant, the only problem was whether or not Harry felt the same way. Cedric got the feeling that Harry might be gay but, wasn’t sure. Their interactions at times felt like flirting, well he knew it was on his end anyway but, the question was if Harry was truly flirting back.
“I think it’s actually near where you live. It’s by Ottery St. Catchpole.” Harry said, taking Cedric out of his contemplation.
“Yeah, we live not far from there. I didn’t know the Weasley’s lived so close. Maybe when you visit them this summer, we could all get together as well, play a little quidditch?” Cedric asked hopefully.
Harry gave another quick grin and nodded. “That would be brilliant.”
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Before they knew it, the year was over. Harry, having packed his trunk, made his way from the castle to the Hogwarts Express. The gleaming red train sat on the tracks, waiting for the hundreds of students making their way towards it.
Hermione and Ron walked beside him, arguing about something or other but, Harry only smiled. He was used to his two best friends’ behavior by now, it was more than obvious that they both fancied each other, but neither was willing to say how they felt. He wondered when they would finally get together.
They had been dancing around each other all year, arguing here and there for ridiculous reasons, at times making Harry place as both their friend awkward. Ron, of course, was too stubborn to make a move and had fumed in the background all year as Viktor Krum had shown attention to their female friend. Hermione, in her own anger, had stomped around the castle. Irritated by Ron’s immaturity to tell her how he felt, she tried her best to make him jealous of the Bulgarian champion she was seeing. Towards the end of the year their feud had ended, somewhat, but they were still tip toeing around each other when it came to expressing how they felt.
Harry was both eager for his friends to get together, as he wanted them to be happy but, he was also dreading it as he wondered where he would fit in once they were a couple. Something about “two’s a party, three a crowd” flitted through his head and made him frown.
As he reached the train, Harry climbed onboard and made his way to a free compartment. Walking through the narrow corridor, Harry heard a voice yell out his name. Stopping, he retraced his steps and came to a compartment with the door open and looked inside. There standing near the window was Cedric smiling at him.
“You can sit in here if you like.” Cedric told him as he sat down on one of the seats, patting the seat beside him.
“Okay, as long as Hermione and Ron can join us?” Harry replied.
“I wouldn’t dream of breaking up the Golden Trio!” Cedric said with a laugh.
Nodding, Harry stuck his head out the door and looked for his friends. “Ron, Hermione, in here.”
Stepping inside, he made his way over to Cedric and sat down. Hermione and Ron entered a minute later.
“Hi, Cedric, are you ready for the summer?” Hermione asked as she and Ron took a seat across from Harry and Cedric.
“Yeah, my parents and I are going to go visit family in France for a few weeks. Then I am going to spend some time with Harry here whenever he’ll let me. I’ve grown quite attached to him being around to save me, if needed.” Cedric joked as he looked down at Harry beside him.
“I always knew you were the damsel in distress type!” Harry laughed as he ducked away from a swipe from his friend. “I guess that makes me the knight in shining armor, huh? I had better get it all polished for the future rescues and such.”
Hermione giggled as she watched Cedric flick one of Harry’s ears and give him a playful glare.
“Oi, that hurt! Besides, it’s your own fault, you walked right into that one.”
Cedric rolled his eyes at Harry and then turned back around to Hermione. “Have any plans for the summer?”
“My parents and I are going to vacation in Spain for a month or so and then I am staying at the Burrow for the rest of the summer while my parents go to a medical conference in the United States.”
“Mate, did Dumbledore say when you could come to stay at the Burrow this summer?” Ron asked as he relaxed into the cushion behind him as the train started moving.
“He said that I need to stay at the Dursley’s until my birthday but, after that I could come and stay.” Harry replied glumly as he sighed.
“You have to spend another birthday there alone?” Ron exclaimed in fury, his fists clenched.
“Ron, calm down, there’s nothing we can do?” Hermione said quietly as she took Ron’s hand in hers. Then looking at Harry she said, “Well, we will just be sure to send extra food and treats, until you come to the Burrow.”
“Yeah, it will be fine, Ron.” Harry said dejectedly as he looked at Ron.
He pleaded silently with his friend to keep the conversation for another time. Harry hadn’t told Cedric too much about his relatives and was not happy about when he would have to. He knew Cedric wouldn’t look down on him for the way they treated him but, he wasn’t ready for the looks of pity he was sure to get from the older Hufflepuff.
As luck would have it, Neville, Seamus and Dean came into the compartment and kept the conversation from going any further. For the next few hours, the teens laughed and talked. Ron and Seamus got into another heated argument over which of their favorite quidditch teams was better. Harry, when the food trolley came by, decided to treat his friends to a snack and bought an arm load of treats. The boys heartily dug into the sweet treats, while Hermione grabbed a piece here and there.
All too soon, the train pulled into King’s Cross Station and the group said their goodbyes.
“Harry, I’ll be back in home in three weeks so, I will owl you about coming to see you.” Cedric said with a smile as he grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it tightly in reassurance. “I’ll see you then, Harry.”
Just after Cedric spoke Harry heard his uncle yell from a ways away. “Boy, get over here, now!”
Harry turned to see his impatient uncle scowling at him. Grabbing his trunk and Hedwig’s cage, Harry turned back to Cedric and said “See you in a few weeks.
Walking over to his uncle, Harry felt himself snatched roughly by his uncle’s chubby hand and yanked towards the entrance to the muggle station beyond. With one final look before he crossed the entrance to Platform 9¾, Harry saw Cedric still standing where he left him a heavy frown on his face.
When Harry arrived back at Number 4 Privet Drive, he felt his trunk seized from him, his wand taken from his pocket and told to “get to the room, freak!”
Harry, with Hedwig’s in his hand, took the stairs two at a time and entered Dudley’s second bedroom. Closing the door, he heard the lock slide across his door soon after and he knew he was stuck in the room for the night. Harry opened up the cage allowing Hedwig to hop out with a hoot and fly onto his shoulder, nipping him affectionately on the ear. Harry walked to the window and opened it. Hedwig gave one last nuzzle of his hair and then flew off for a bit of hunting for dinner.
Sighing, Harry sat down on his bed and rested his back against the wall behind him.
He wasn’t looking forward to the next few weeks. The time he spent here on Privet Drive was never pleasant and made him feel so alone. While his friends were off traveling with their families or just enjoying the summer holidays at home, he was locked away in this room for most of it. Throughout the day, he was allowed the privilege of leaving said room to cook for the Dursley’s or clean after them.
He hadn’t even been away from Hogwarts for more than five hours and he already missed it. The month and a half until his birthday was going to drag by.
o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
The next evening, as he lay in his bed reading an old book Dudley had quickly discarded upon receiving, he heard the familiar rapping of an owl’s beak on his window. Standing up, he opened the window and a gorgeous snowy white owl with brown streaks down its flank hopped onto the window seal. Harry smiled at the owl as it reminded him of Hedwig. Taking the offered letter attached to the owl’s leg, he gave the owl a treat and watched it fly out the window and back towards home.
Opening the letter he couldn’t help but smile.
Dear Harry,
I hope your first official day of summer is treating you well. My parents and I arrived in Paris this morning and did a little sightseeing during the day. We went to see something muggles call ‘The Eiffel Tower’ and I was speechless. It is this great monstrosity that literally towers over the city of Paris. I have to say that muggles have an ingenious way over living without magic. We traveled by way of Automobiles, which I am sure you are familiar with, as you were raised by muggles. I felt both terrified and exhilarated when riding in them.
Tomorrow, we are off to see The Louvre. My aunt has informed me that muggles are great lovers of art and so we are going to look in their museum and see what it has to offer. You might be surprised but, my aunt whom married my father’s brother is a muggle. Every summer, for the last few years since they married, we have taken both a “wizard’s” vacation and a “muggle” one as well. I find that I enjoy the muggle ones more, as I am more than slightly intrigued by what they are capable of inventing. My father tells me I have a bit of an unhealthy fascination with muggles but, I find other ways of life captivating.
I know we saw each other just yesterday but, I enjoy our conversations and hope you do as well. So I could not help myself but write. My mother laughed and asked me if I had a girlfriend, as I was so eager to write to you. I, of course told her no, that I missed talking to you.
Well, I should end for now, it is late here and I need to get to bed for our plans for tomorrow. I hope to hear from you soon.
Your Friend,
Cedric

Harry smiled and reread the letter once more. Closing his eyes, he couldn’t help but press his nose to the letter and breathe in. Cedric’s scent clouded around him, the smell of fresh cut grass and leather. He knew smelling a male friend’s letter wasn’t exactly a “straight” thing to do but, couldn’t help himself.
It seemed over the last two months, since the night in the graveyard, Cedric had quickly become a vital part of his life; a source of both comfort but also conflicting emotions. Whenever Cedric was near, Harry had felt at peace, not bothered by the problems around him. Then at the same time, Harry found his heart racing with the slightest touch, or blushing when Cedric smiled at him. When they weren’t together, Harry found himself, counting the minutes until he would see Cedric again.
It was obvious; he had a crush on the older boy. At least he could admit that to himself, if not to anyone else. He was just not sure how to react to that revelation. In the last week or two since he had admitted the crush, he had been contemplating asking someone for advice; he just wasn’t sure who to ask.
Hermione and Ron were out of the question, he wasn’t ready for them to know yet. Beside the fact that he didn’t think they would be able to give him the sort of advice he was looking for. There was Remus… since the end of third year, he and Harry had regular correspondence between the two of them. Often, Remus felt as if a father figure to him, offering sage advice and wisdom. Then, as if a light bulb turned on inside his head, he realized he knew exactly who to ask. Sirius!
Rushing to the desk, he pulled out a quill and ink bottle and a piece of parchment.
Dear Snuffles,
How are you? I hope you are having a good time where ever you are! I have returned to the Dursley’s until my birthday and after that Dumbledore says I can go and stay at the Burrow for the rest of the summer. I can’t wait until then, I hate it here. The moment I turn of age I am leaving this place without a backward glance.
I was kind of hoping I could ask you something… It is a little hard to say, I have tried many times to talk to someone about it but, every time I start, I get too afraid and say something else. Maybe a letter is the best way to do it, face to face has been unsuccessful so far.
The thing is, I have a crush on someone and I am worried about people’s reaction when they find out who it is. You see, the person I am attracted to is a boy. You haven’t met him but, I am sure you have heard of him. It’s Cedric Diggory, the boy that was with me in the graveyard. Since that night, we have become close friends and I am unsure abouteverything, I don’t know if I am… well, you know, but I can’t stop thinking about him.
I just wanted someone I could talk to about it if you don’t mind.
Okay, well, send me a letter when you are able. Keep safe!
Harry

Harry looked at the letter for a few minutes, debating on whether or not he should send the letter. Once Hedwig took it away, there was no turning back. His secret would be out. He was afraid of his godfather’s reaction, if Sirius would except that his godson might like boys. Would he disown him? Would he be disappointed? He was worried Sirius would feel like Uncle Vernon, think he was an unnatural, filthy degenerate for thinking the things he thought.
Were his feelings for Cedric worth possibly losing the only family he had? Was being honest with himself, worth it? Standing there, he wanted so much to just rip up the letter and crawl under his covers hiding from the world. But, it was no use; he would not respect himself if he wasn’t honest with those he loved.
Taking a deep breath, Harry woke Hedwig up. The owl gave an annoyed hoot at being woken up but, lifted up her leg and waited while Harry attached the letter.
“Take that to Sirius, Hedwig. Thanks, girl.” Harry said as he opened the window and watched Hedwig fly away, taking his secret with her.
Harry watched her long after she left his sight. Wondering if when he woke up in the morning he would find he no longer had a godfather anymore.
Getting ready for bed, Harry put on his pajama’s, turned off the bedroom light and rested his head on the pillow.
He hoped his godfather could accept what he was, he thought just before falling into a deep slumber.