The Reluctant Detectives
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
30
Views:
13,515
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
3
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
30
Views:
13,515
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
3
Disclaimer:
I don't own Harry Potter or anything else from the book series. Nor do I make any moneys from doing this. Though goodness knows I wish I did.
Chapter Three
Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to review. And, as usual, please read & review!
***
Chapter Three
Hermione gaped at him as Severus roared, “Are you mad? Do you think I have time to-to hunt down criminals? I am the head master of Hogwarts!”
Kingsley looked over to her to find her shaking her head no. “Don’t look at me. I may not have that much of a life, but I don’t want to be doing your job any more than he does.”
“But…”
“I’ve done my bidding for king and country, thank you very much,” Snape hissed. “For all the thanks I got, that is.”
“Being a hero is a thankless task,” Hermione murmured. “At my last place of employment the woman told me that I was her hero. She liked me so much I caught her fucking Ron a week later in our bed.” Severus looked at her. “You’re missing nothing.”
“We are getting off the point,” Kingsley told them.
“What is the point?” Hermione asked him. “Neither one of us are trained as aurors, nor do we what to be. So tell me how it is that we’ve been recruited?”
“Because I do believe that the two of you would make for an excellent investigations team for this case,” he explained to them. “Severus, you know the Death Eaters and what they might do. You, Hermione, know muggle weaponry. The fact that both of you were at the forefront of the fighting in the last war…”
“I would turn you down for that reason alone,” Snape muttered darkly.
When the head auror looked over to Hermione, she said, “As odd as this sounds, I’m agreeing with him on this one.”
Kingsley pursed his lips and went to the last resort. “In that case, there is a very good chance that you will be investigated in the bombing.”
“Blackmail is beneath you,” Hermione hissed at the big man.
“Yet effective,” Snape muttered, resigning himself to the fact that he would have to help with this farce, like it or not.
***
Hermione stepped through the floo. Looking around she found Snape at his desk looking over papers. Quietly she went over to sit down at the chair in front of his desk, pulling out the death log that she had taken from the Ministry of Magic’s Hall of Records. True, one could fake ones death. One could even postpone it, but they could never lie to the death log. If you died, it was recorded right down to the very second. Unfortunately, since the population was growing and death was as unavoidable as taxes, there were several different sets of logs. One by date, one by name, and the other by political affiliations—as a politician it always paid to know what side ones bread was buttered even in death.
“What is that?” She looked over to see Snape looking at her for the first time.
“No hello?” Hermione asked him. “Really, Severus, very tacky.” He rolled his eyes and was about to snipe at her when she said, “It’s one of the death logs.”
“What? How did you get your hands on that?” he asked her.
“I asked,” she replied, turning another page. “I am looking at the Death Eater’s list of dead at the moment.” She made a face. “Ouch. I didn’t know Draco’s grandfather didn’t die of dragon pox.”
“He did,” he muttered. “Or at least that was what I heard.”
“You heard wrong,” she told him. “As did everyone else. He was run over by a tractor trailer.”
“Do I even want to know?” he asked sourly.
“More than likely no, but it should make for an interesting conversation for the next time you speak to Lucius Malfoy,” she pointed out to him.
He was silent a moment thinking that over. “Good point. What have you been able to find out?”
“Other than my need for reading glasses? Much of nothing,” she murmured. “I knew that Molly had killed Bellatrix LeStrange, but what I never knew was that she stuck her wand up her nose and gave her the killing curse that way. It made her head explode.” She became slightly ill at this. “Nasty business.”
“Molly’s domestic skills may very well be top rung, but she has never been known to be much of a duelist,” he murmured. “If that is all…”
“No, I have a question,” she told him. “What does…hold on…I’m looking for it…Here it is! What does S.Y.T.B.D. mean?”
“Do I look like a dictionary to you, Miss Granger?” he asked tiredly.
“No, but I thought you might know,” she said, getting up. “This trip over here turned out to be a waste of time. See you later…”
“Stop.” He got up and went over to her. “Hand the book over.”
She did and waited as he read it over.
“It’s in the place that should read type of death, not to mention time,” he muttered, looking at others just like it. “Ah, I see. All those individuals were given the Dementor’s Kiss.”
“So that would probably mean ‘status yet to be determined’?”
“Sounds correct,” he said, handing it over to her. “Have you eaten dinner yet?”
She shook her head no.
“Come along. This should prove interesting.”
***
Hermione ate in silence, trying as she might to ignore the student body most of who were watching her like vultures. She kept eating, ignoring them as best as she could. It wasn’t until she saw one of the students coming up to the professors’ table that she stopped and looked up.
“P-pardon me, miss, but I was wondering if you were…” He took a deep gulping breath. “If you were Hermione Granger?”
“No, I’m not,” she answered, seeing the boy’s disappointment. “People mistake me for her all the time. I think it’s the hair.”
Once the boy walked away, Snape leaned over and asked, “Why deny that you are who you are?”
“Something tells me that no matter what I say at this moment, it will be wrong,” she murmured. “But let me tell you that was the first time I did that.” But then she took a bite of her food, chewing it slowly. When she swallowed, she added, “I just wanted this one meal, if only this one meal, to be somewhat normal.”
***
REVIEWS!! REVIEWS! MUST HAVE REVIEWS! LOL! Thanks for reading.
***
Chapter Three
Hermione gaped at him as Severus roared, “Are you mad? Do you think I have time to-to hunt down criminals? I am the head master of Hogwarts!”
Kingsley looked over to her to find her shaking her head no. “Don’t look at me. I may not have that much of a life, but I don’t want to be doing your job any more than he does.”
“But…”
“I’ve done my bidding for king and country, thank you very much,” Snape hissed. “For all the thanks I got, that is.”
“Being a hero is a thankless task,” Hermione murmured. “At my last place of employment the woman told me that I was her hero. She liked me so much I caught her fucking Ron a week later in our bed.” Severus looked at her. “You’re missing nothing.”
“We are getting off the point,” Kingsley told them.
“What is the point?” Hermione asked him. “Neither one of us are trained as aurors, nor do we what to be. So tell me how it is that we’ve been recruited?”
“Because I do believe that the two of you would make for an excellent investigations team for this case,” he explained to them. “Severus, you know the Death Eaters and what they might do. You, Hermione, know muggle weaponry. The fact that both of you were at the forefront of the fighting in the last war…”
“I would turn you down for that reason alone,” Snape muttered darkly.
When the head auror looked over to Hermione, she said, “As odd as this sounds, I’m agreeing with him on this one.”
Kingsley pursed his lips and went to the last resort. “In that case, there is a very good chance that you will be investigated in the bombing.”
“Blackmail is beneath you,” Hermione hissed at the big man.
“Yet effective,” Snape muttered, resigning himself to the fact that he would have to help with this farce, like it or not.
***
Hermione stepped through the floo. Looking around she found Snape at his desk looking over papers. Quietly she went over to sit down at the chair in front of his desk, pulling out the death log that she had taken from the Ministry of Magic’s Hall of Records. True, one could fake ones death. One could even postpone it, but they could never lie to the death log. If you died, it was recorded right down to the very second. Unfortunately, since the population was growing and death was as unavoidable as taxes, there were several different sets of logs. One by date, one by name, and the other by political affiliations—as a politician it always paid to know what side ones bread was buttered even in death.
“What is that?” She looked over to see Snape looking at her for the first time.
“No hello?” Hermione asked him. “Really, Severus, very tacky.” He rolled his eyes and was about to snipe at her when she said, “It’s one of the death logs.”
“What? How did you get your hands on that?” he asked her.
“I asked,” she replied, turning another page. “I am looking at the Death Eater’s list of dead at the moment.” She made a face. “Ouch. I didn’t know Draco’s grandfather didn’t die of dragon pox.”
“He did,” he muttered. “Or at least that was what I heard.”
“You heard wrong,” she told him. “As did everyone else. He was run over by a tractor trailer.”
“Do I even want to know?” he asked sourly.
“More than likely no, but it should make for an interesting conversation for the next time you speak to Lucius Malfoy,” she pointed out to him.
He was silent a moment thinking that over. “Good point. What have you been able to find out?”
“Other than my need for reading glasses? Much of nothing,” she murmured. “I knew that Molly had killed Bellatrix LeStrange, but what I never knew was that she stuck her wand up her nose and gave her the killing curse that way. It made her head explode.” She became slightly ill at this. “Nasty business.”
“Molly’s domestic skills may very well be top rung, but she has never been known to be much of a duelist,” he murmured. “If that is all…”
“No, I have a question,” she told him. “What does…hold on…I’m looking for it…Here it is! What does S.Y.T.B.D. mean?”
“Do I look like a dictionary to you, Miss Granger?” he asked tiredly.
“No, but I thought you might know,” she said, getting up. “This trip over here turned out to be a waste of time. See you later…”
“Stop.” He got up and went over to her. “Hand the book over.”
She did and waited as he read it over.
“It’s in the place that should read type of death, not to mention time,” he muttered, looking at others just like it. “Ah, I see. All those individuals were given the Dementor’s Kiss.”
“So that would probably mean ‘status yet to be determined’?”
“Sounds correct,” he said, handing it over to her. “Have you eaten dinner yet?”
She shook her head no.
“Come along. This should prove interesting.”
***
Hermione ate in silence, trying as she might to ignore the student body most of who were watching her like vultures. She kept eating, ignoring them as best as she could. It wasn’t until she saw one of the students coming up to the professors’ table that she stopped and looked up.
“P-pardon me, miss, but I was wondering if you were…” He took a deep gulping breath. “If you were Hermione Granger?”
“No, I’m not,” she answered, seeing the boy’s disappointment. “People mistake me for her all the time. I think it’s the hair.”
Once the boy walked away, Snape leaned over and asked, “Why deny that you are who you are?”
“Something tells me that no matter what I say at this moment, it will be wrong,” she murmured. “But let me tell you that was the first time I did that.” But then she took a bite of her food, chewing it slowly. When she swallowed, she added, “I just wanted this one meal, if only this one meal, to be somewhat normal.”
***
REVIEWS!! REVIEWS! MUST HAVE REVIEWS! LOL! Thanks for reading.