First Heat

When the Body reacts:

Ok I really need to stop freaking out. Wasn’t like anything happened, only that damned Smell again. Oh God who am I kidding…not myself anyway. I jumped my best friend, Sirius bloody Black and was doing unspeakable things to his leg. Oh but it had felt so…good. Ok stop just don’t go there. I wasn’t in to people, I could be bloody grateful that I had friends in the first place. I really shouldn’t curse so much. Sirius would be shocked to know what goes on inside my head. After all he was always the one cursing like a drunken sailor. I felt a huge sigh coming up, just great.
Lunch appeared on the table in front of me. God the smell made me feel sick…oh please let it not be morning sickness. I don’t want to be the first pregnant werewolf to have graced Hogwarts. I oh god I don’t want to be sick…I think I’m going to be sick. There’s that smell again, I glance to my left as Sirius settles into the chair next to me. His hair is so silky, a bluish black and his eyes have this strange grey verging on blue, they can be so warm sometimes, or sparkling or…oh god I’m rambling again. I do not fancy Sirius Black. End of story, full stop.
At last lunch is over and done with. First lesson, double potions with the Slytherins…which means that Sirius and James will be following their favourite hobby…Severus baiting. I wish they’d stop for a while, he really wasn’t that bad and…I know what its like to be the one on the receiving end…but if I stop them…they might not want to be my friends anymore…or worse could happen.
“Come on Moony, let’s get there, and see if I can present my Ode to Snivellus!” He slings a comradely arm around my shoulder and I feel his heat burn into my skin. Oh god…the smell is back. I feel my nose crinkling again and something rushes straight out of my brain to a more southern part of my body. I shrug his arm off. “What’s matter Moony…do I smell again?”
“Yes Smellius, course you stink, didn’t shower this morning did you?” James appears on my other side and pats my head. I hate it when he does that, I’m not a dog…that’s Sirius. Sirius should be patted…and stroked. Up and down that lean body which glistens… Stop!
“Shut up Antlerboy.”
“It’s not me who smells dog-breath.”
“Moony didn’t say I smelled.”
“He looked at you as one would look at a pile of poo.”
“Didn’t!”
“Guys!” I give them a pleading look. “Paddy doesn’t smell and Prongs be nice. I just had a sneeze coming, twas all.” Both of them give me disbelieving looks. I was always a crap liar. But none of us have time to say anything anymore. Because now we all troop into Doomsday lesson number one. Double potions, total disaster with my sensitive nose, I’ll end up blowing something up…again.
My mind isn’t on the subject. It’s on the fact that my body is screaming at me to get closer to Sirius but I’m not gay, I am not in love with my best friend…I am so not…
“I AM NOT GAY!” Oh god I didn’t just say that out loud.
“Thank you for letting us all know,” the dry response from Professor Arsenicum slides across the class. “Now Mr.Lupin if you would carry on with what you are meant to be doing. I am deeply disappointed to find even yourself distracted in my lesson.” I’m always bloody distracted by all the stink. But my face must be the colour of a beetroot.
“Yes sir.”

“Mr.Lupin, please stay behind after the lesson.” Professor Arsenicum frowns down at the melted mess of what once, was my cauldron and the strange purple worms that were crawling around. I nod and reconcile with my fate of probably having to scrub the lab floors again. The others leave…all except Severus. “Mr.Lupin, Mr.Snape will be giving you extra potions lessons from now on.” I stare and Severus gives me the most sullen stare back.

The lessons started this evening, after lessons, bet he’s waaayy pleased to be teaching the school resident werewolf potions in his spare time. Not that he knows I’m one but that’s beside the point. And anyway I have to check that my waist line is still flat, don’t want a belly growing there…or anything inside said belly…maybe I could steal the morning after pill from one of the girls. Just in case. Oh yeah, that would be so great Remus…go up to Dominique Flear and say, “Hey Dominique I heard you have loads of pills to stop babies happening could I have one, since I’m paranoid that some randy werewolf rutted me during the night of the full moon.” Real smooth.
“LUPIN!” My attention snaps back to Severus. He glares at me. “You could at least pay attention to what I am trying to tutor you with.” So I do, I pay attention to every word he says, and it isn’t even stupid, the tips he’s giving me. I just can’t stand the glances he sends me, as if expecting me to attack or insult him any second. I muster my best kind smile.
“Thank you Severus, for bothering.” His eyes flick up at me and a hand reaches out to stroke my cheek. His fingers leaving a hot trail on my skin that makes me rear back and dart out. I have to get away…something is seriously wrong with my body.
I feel tears sting at the back of my eyes as I race up to the Astronomy tower…its dark no one will see me…but I can already hear myself hiccupping knowing that for once in my life I can’t control my tears cause it isn’t bloody fair, that I should be a werewolf…probably gay…and probably pregnant because of the funny Smell I kept smelling.