First

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Potterverse. . .once again.

Chapter 3: First Kiss


The next morning, Remus woke up very early, just as it was getting light. He looked around, feeling very uncomfortable. It was too early, and he felt too awake. He climbed out of bed, shivering as the cold morning air hit his body. He grabbed a sweater off the floor, not really knowing or caring who it belonged to, and threw it over him.

It was black and warm and smelled familiar. He raised the collar to his nose and took a breath.

“Sirius,” he whispered, smiling despite himself. Something about wearing Sirius’ sweater made him feel comfortable and put him at ease. He trudged down the stairs and into the common room. He looked around at the spotless room and was very surprised to see that he wasn’t the only one awake.

The figure sitting in the chair turned, and upon seeing who it was, smiled. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” he asked softly.

His quiet words, which were so unlike him, sent an odd chill down Remus’ spine. But he smiled, regardless. “It was the first thing I saw, and I was cold. Do you mind?”

“No, not at all,” he said, turning away from him and staring into an empty fireplace.

Remus walked over to him and sat down on the chair next to him, pulling his feet under his lap, and smiled at his friend’s profile. “Why are you up so early?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep, I guess.”

“Are you still feeling sick?”

“No. If I was, I’d probably still be sleeping.”

“Probably.” It went silent after that, but it wasn’t awkward or weird. It was a content silence. They didn’t really need to talk to enjoy each other’s company. It wasn’t like when they were with James and Peter. When the four of them got together, it was always loud and fun. Put Sirius and James in a room together, and havoc was bound to ensue.

But Remus knew that on his own, Sirius could be quite calm and content. He wasn’t really like that around anyone else, not even James. Remus was the only one who ever really saw this side of him. Even though Sirius and James were thicker than blood, Sirius and Remus had always had an odd sort of connection.

Best friends, but always something a bit . . . more.

Remus had never known what it was before, but he was sure he did now. It’s because I like him. And I’ve probably liked him for a long time, and I didn’t even know it.

“What are you pondering, I wonder?” Sirius asked, smirking at him.

Remus shook himself out of his zone and smiled at his best friend. “Nothing really. Just stuff, like things about my childhood . . . our childhood. You know, times we’ve had here. Can you believe we’re almost done?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

“It’s kind of scary, don’t you think?”

“Exciting is more like it,” Sirius said with a wide grin. “I love this place, but at the same time, I can’t wait to leave and go out into the real world.”

Remus shrugged, looking around the common room nostalgically, closing his eyes and breathing in his surroundings. “I guess I’m not really looking forward to the real world as much. It’s not like I can live in it like a normal wizard. I mean, I’m not normal, am I?”

When Remus opened his eyes, he was shocked to see that Sirius had stood up and was now leaning over him, a determined look on his face.

“No, you’re not normal. You’re more than that. You’re . . . better than normal.”

Remus swallowed loudly, again, and tried to pull his eyes away from Sirius, but failed. “Better?”

Sirius didn’t say anything, but leaned closer to his face, bringing his lips very close to Remus’. Remus closed his eyes in anticipation, but opened them almost as quickly when he realized what he was doing. He felt his face flush once more, and pulled away from Sirius.

Sirius stopped moving closer and stared. It seemed as if he was desperately searching for an explanation as to why he was invading his best friend’s personal space. He forced a bright smiled on his face and ran a hand through Remus’ hair. “Way better. Better than most.” He pulled away and turned to look in the opposite direction. “You know, except me of course,” he said, turning his head slightly to smirk at Remus’ who was now glaring at him.

“Cheeky.”

“Aren’t I though?”

“Oh yes, you’re a regular riot.”

“Ha! That’s why you love me,” he said loudly, jumping over and wrapping his arm around Remus’ neck, taking his fist and jamming it into his head. “Say it!”

Remus struggled and tried to pull away. “Never,” he managed to gasp, laughing as Sirius’ hands moved down to his ribs, wriggling his fingers against ticklish skin. “Stop it!”

Sirius laughed and let go of his struggling friend, putting a hand to his stomach. “We’re going to wake the whole house.”

“Like you care,” Remus said, attempting to catch his breath. “Come on, Padfoot, you know I hate being tickled. Just because I laugh doesn’t mean I like it!”

“I know. That’s why I do it.” He looked out the window up at the now pick sky. “I guess people will start waking up soon. It’s got to be about 6:30 already.”

“Yeah . . .” Remus said. Letting his thoughts wander as he looked at Sirius standing in the small amount of light the early morning provided. He cleared his throat and turned, making his way back upstairs. “Well, I’m going to jump in the shower. I’ll see you down at breakfast?”

Sirius looked up and smiled, “yeah, at breakfast.”

Remus walked up the stairs and pulled off the black sweater, throwing it onto his bed. He made his way over to the bathroom, but stopped as he saw James sitting up in his bed, with a book in his hands. But judging by the fact that his eyes weren’t moving, Remus assumed he wasn’t really reading anything.

“Prongs, what are you doing?”

James glanced up and smiled. “Well, I was reading,” he said simply.

“And you’re not anymore because?”

“I lost interest.”

“I see. So why are you still holding the book?”

James looked down at the book in his hands, almost in a confused way. “I don’t know. Just started zoning out I guess.”

“Thinking about Lily again?” Remus asked, sitting down on the corner of his friend’s bed.

James put the book down and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up more than before. “When am I not? It’s driving me crazy, Moony. I don’t get it. I just . . . I don’t really get shot down very often, you know?”

Remus laughed, “yeah, I know. I think Lily is the only girl who has ever really rejected you.”

“Yeah. So I gotta wonder if the only reason I want her is because I can’t have her. Or maybe . . . I don’t know.”

“Maybe you just really like her.”

He pondered the thought for a second and smiled. “You know, I probably do. I’m not really used to feeling this way about someone. Especially someone like Evans. I mean, she’s a beautiful girl, but not exactly the type of girls I normally go out with. She’s more than that. Better than normal, she’s . . . special.”

“Special? Is that . . . is that better than normal?” Remus asked, his mind wandering to the conversation he’d just had downstairs.

“Well, I should think so.”

Remus stood up and walked to the shower. “Well, don’t worry about it; I’m sure everything will work out. I mean, if it’s meant to be, then it will happen.”

“Yeah . . . yeah, you’re right. I mean, she means something to me. So if I find a way to show her that she’s not like the other girls; that she actually means something to me. I might actually get somewhere with her.”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah, well go get ready. I’ll meet you downstairs. Thanks for the advice.”

“You’re welcome,” Remus said, walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. “And thank you,” he whispered.

James stood outside the bathroom door and smiled to himself. “And you’re welcome too, Moony,” he said, starting to change into his uniform and humming happily to himself as Sirius walked into the room and began to get dressed as well.

* * * *

When Remus walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, he was not at all surprised to see a horde of people sitting around Sirius as he told some loud and obnoxiously funny story, at the expense of some poor pathetic Slytherin, no doubt. Remus shook his head as the group of people laughed loudly at whatever it was Sirius just said, and sat down next to Peter.

“Good morning,” he said, brightly.

“Nothing all that good about it,” Peter grumbled.

“What’s your problem?”

“He’s failing Transfiguration,” James said loudly, leaning his head towards them.

“Thanks for the narration, Prongs,” Peter said scathingly.

“Hey, don’t worry about it, my friend,” Sirius said loudly, jumping down for the table, and making his way over to them as the swarm of people went about their separate ways. “You’ll manage to scrape by. You always do. Anyway, off to class, shall we?” He held out his arm and James linked arms with him as they led the way out of the Great Hall, gathering a lot of laughs and snorts at their ridiculous behavior.

Once they were out in the hallway, they let go, and shoved at one another playfully, joking about something that Remus wasn’t really paying any attention to. He looked over at Peter, who was buried in his Transfiguration book, trying to cram in some study time before class. At this rate though, he wouldn’t make it to class without bumping into every wall that came their way.

“Excuse me,” a small voice called out from behind them. “Mr. Black, excuse me!”

They all turned around to see a slight fourth year girl walking quickly towards them.

“Its, Sirius,” he said, walking towards her. “And you are?”

“You can call me Penny. I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment, in private?”

Sirius turned towards them and raised an eyebrow at James who laughed and turned away. Sirius turned back to the girl and flashed her a smile, “sure thing.” He took her gently by the arm, and led her over to a secluded corner in the hall, where they couldn’t hear them.

“All the girls go for either Sirius, or you,” Peter said bitterly to James.

“That’s the price of being beautiful, dear Wormtail. And Moony too, he does pretty well, if I say so myself.”

Remus shrugged away the comment and kept his eyes glued on the two in the corner. “Not that great. I suppose I get by though, don’t I?” He squinted his eyes at the girl who was smiling and handing over a piece of paper. He looked at Sirius’ goofy smile and he waved and walked away.

He walked over to them and didn’t say anything, just smiled and stuffed the paper into his pocket.

Without really meaning to, Remus grew very annoyed by this, but put it aside while they went to class. During Transfiguration, he couldn’t pay attention because his mind kept wandering over to what happened that morning. After class, he grabbed his stuff, and stormed out of the classroom, not waiting for his friends.

“Hey, wait up!” James yelled to him, but he ignored it and kept walking.

He rushed to the first bathroom he saw and ran into a stall and locked it. He sat down and fumed.

“What the hell?!”

His mind went back to the conversation they had that morning. He says those things to me and then goes about flirting with some stupid forth year who doesn’t even know him. He’s so . . .

But whatever Sirius was; Remus couldn’t find the right word. All he knew was that he was jealous, very jealous, and he didn’t exactly like it. He heard the bell ring in the distance and ran from the bathroom hurrying to class, and managed to get inside the doors just as the last signal rang again.

He gave a small nod to Professor Slughorn and took his usual seat next to Peter. James raised an eyebrow at him in question, but Sirius didn’t even glance at him. And when Remus tried to get his attention, he was ignored.

Remus opened his book and folded his arms, tuning in to what Professor Slughorn was saying and forgetting all thoughts of Sirius as his new little girlfriend.

* * * *

I don’t know why he’s so mad. I mean, it’s obvious that he’s jealous, but if he likes her so much why doesn’t he just say something? Sirius fumed in his seat. It wasn’t like he didn’t notice the agitated look on Remus’ face when he got that note and the way he ran from Transfiguration, completely ignoring them. I didn’t even know her name so I have no idea how he knows her.

He pulled the note out of his pocket and opened it. He read through it quickly and smirked. Just another dumb blonde, he thought. He crumpled it up and put it back into his pocket, fiddling with the things on his table. He glanced around the classroom, but avoided looking over at Remus. He didn’t feel like dealing with his jealous rage.

He looked over at James who was taking notes sporadically, no doubt day-dreaming about Evans some more. Those days, James had a one track mind, and its one and only track was Lily Evans. He couldn’t really blame James, Lily was gorgeous, but ever since the year started he had been changing himself in order to accommodate her wants and forgot all about the person he used to be.

Sirius would be lying to himself if he said that he and James weren’t slightly drifting apart. It wasn’t exactly something he wanted to happen, but it just was. They all were. They were growing up and growing apart, and before they knew it, their time would be done. And then what?

He forced himself to look over at Remus, just to see what he was up to and was surprised to find Remus staring at him. Remus attempted a smile as an apology for his earlier behavior. Sirius rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair and smiled. It wasn’t like he could ever really stay mad at Remus anyway.

He took the note out from his pocket again and smoothed it out, turning it over and grabbing his quill.

Check this out. This girl has absolutely no shame. And to think, she’s only 14. She’s just another brainless bimbo. Seriously though, the girls in this school have absolutely nothing going for them. Sure, they’re pretty hot, and always good for a quick tumble, but try dating one . . . yuck. I mean, if they’re so willing to jump into bed with me, just think about who else they might be jumping into bed with. And I don’t trust most of the guys in this school as it is.

He folded the note and subtly passed it to Remus, who stared straight ahead at Slughorn, but reached out to take the note. He opened it slowly and began to read. As he went on, the smile on his face grew till he had to hold a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud. He quickly turned it over and scanned the girl’s writing. Then he grabbed his quill and began to write.

Sirius breathed in relief to find out that Remus didn’t really like that girl at all. If he had, he wouldn’t have laughed at the note. It didn’t explain why he ran out of class and looked so annoyed, but he’d probably figure out why soon enough.

Remus passed the note back, and Sirius grabbed it quickly, anxious to read his reply. His hand brushed Remus’ slightly as he grabbed the note and he had to stop himself from blushing at the sudden, yet innocent touch. He opened the note, and read:

Ha. I know what you mean. I have no idea who that girl was, but I can assure you, you can do way better. Don’t sell yourself short, you got a lot going for you.

Sirius smiled again and grabbed his quill once more:

Aw, thanks. That’s awfully nice of you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had the hots for me, Moony. Something you aren’t telling me?

Sirius passed it back without even thinking to watch out for the teacher, and anticipated Remus’ reaction. He laughed softly as he read the note, grabbed his quill, and only wrote down one word before passing it back.

It read: Maybe.

“Something you’d like to share with the class Lupin?” Slughorn suddenly asked, very loudly. The entire class went silent as he walked over to them, grabbing the note from Sirius’ hand and opening it up to look at what they had been writing. Sirius could only hope that he wouldn’t read it out loud.

He looked at the side that Penny had wrote and began to laugh. “Well, this is just too precious to not share with the entire class. I really hope you don’t mind, Black,” he said, but obviously didn’t care as he cleared his throat and grabbed the classes’ attention.

“Dear Sirius,

I hope you don’t think this to be too forward, but I’ve noticed you for the longest time and I never knew exactly how to express my feelings towards you. You see, I really like you, and I have for a while now. I always want to approach you, but you’re always with your friends or some other girls, so I never know when would be a good time. I know that I’m only 14, so you might not be interested, but I’m way more talented than any of those girls could ever hope to be. I could make you happy, I know I can. So I really hope you’d be willing to give me a chance. Even if you don’t want to be my boyfriend, we could still do things together. Well, I think you know what I mean. Please consider it, and get back to me.

And out of pure compassion for the girl, I won’t say her name out loud.”

The class groaned in disappointment, and egged him on. “Come on, say it! Yeah, it’s not like we care about some stupid forth year. Yeah, what’s her name?”

Slughorn shook his head and said, “ah, but wait, there is more.” He turned it over and read the bit between Sirius and Remus and the smile slid off of his face. He cleared his throat, but only dropped the note onto the table for Sirius to grab. “Save the flirting for some other time, eh Black?”

“Yes, Sir,” he said, sarcastically, putting the note in his pocket and sighing in relief. He feared for a moment that Slughorn would read the part Sirius and Remus had written which would serve to be entertaining, but could be very harmful to both their reputations. He thought about the things they wrote and blushed. He had been flirting with Remus, but the crazy thing was that Remus had been flirting back.

He looked over at Remus whose head was bent low, and close to the table, but Sirius could see that his face was bright red.

* * * *

“What was going on today?!” James asked Sirius later on that night. “I mean, are you two like dating or something? Did you forget to tell me this?”

“Prongs, keep it down. And no, we aren’t dating. He doesn’t even know that I like him.”

“Well, why not tell him. I mean, it's not like you're shy, so what’s the problem?”

“Come on! What are the chances that he could have feelings for me?”

“I’d say about as good as the chances of you having feelings for him. I mean, think about it. You two are really good friends already— ”

“Yeah, and I want us to stay that way. I would tell him, really. But I don’t want him to not want to be friends with me anymore.”

“Come on, Padfoot, give me more credit than that,” a voice said from behind them. They both turned around to see Remus standing in the doorway, a faint blush on his cheeks. He was looked anywhere but at Sirius face, and kept shuffling his feet uncomfortably. “Padfoot, I . . . hey, wait! Where are you going?!” he asked as Sirius pushed past him and ran from the room.

“Moony?” James called out before he could leave. “Do you like him?”

“What do you think?”

They stood in silence for a moment before James smiled at him and pushed him out of the room. “Well, go after him then.”

Remus ran from the room and down into the common room. At this point, Sirius was nowhere to be found, so he had to let pure instinct lead him to where he believed he would be. He ran down the halls and found his feet leading him to the Great Hall, and outside, and towards the Forbidden Forest, something he thought to be very ironic in this situation.

He slowed down as he entered the forest and removed his wand from his robes. He didn’t know why he thought he would find Sirius here, but he knew of a clearing, and he thought that maybe . . .

“You know, I should learn to be more unpredictable. Somehow, I knew you would come straight here to find me, and here you are.”

Remus turned to find Sirius come out from behind a tall Oak. “Yeah, well what does that say about me. It seems like we both know each other pretty well.”

Sirius walked up to him and put a hand on his face. “You know me better than most.”

“Sirius, why did you run?”

“I don’t know.” He leaned down and pressed his lips lightly to Remus’ pausing just long enough for Remus to return the kiss. “I guess I was . . .”

Remus smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Go ahead, say it, you were scared.”

“Hey, shut it! I’m not scared of anything.”

“Well you should know better than to be scared of me.”

Sirius pulled back a little, but kept his hand on Remus’ cheek. “It's not enough that you know. I want . . . I want . . .”

“Me to like you back? Well, I do.”

Sirius sighed a sigh of relief and smiled. He leaned against the trunk of the tree, much more at ease and back to his usual self. “So, what do we do now? Do we tell people? Do you want anyone to know?”

“I’m not embarrassed to be with you, if that’s what you mean!” Remus replied hotly. “But I don’t want to tell the entire school. I think we should just tell our friends.”

“Hey, that’s fine by me,” he said, leaning forward and landing another light kiss on Remus’ lips. He put his hands on Remus’ shoulders and pulled out of the kiss, brushing his lips across Remus’ cheek and bringing them to his ears. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to.”

---

Author's Note: Goodness this chapter turned out to be a lot longer than the first two. I always try to keep the size of my chapters the same, but that never happens. The first 2 chapters might be the same, but then the rest are just all over the place. So far I've only recieved a pitiful amount of comments, but I'm very grateful to those who have reviewed, who apparently like this story very much. But I'd really like to know who else likes it. So please, please, PLEASE review!!!

p.s. For some reason James is all this all knowing God-like character, and it's actually kinda creeping me out how he knows absolutely everything and just happens to be everywhere. I didn't even realize what I was doing to him till it was too late. But I love James, so I'm gonna keep him that way.