Torment

A/N: So sorry for the long wait people, I've been really busy because I've just entered year ten and I'm getting loads of course work at school. Anyway, hope you like this next chapter.

I do not own Harry Potter or any related characters.

Chapter 3: Attempted Suicide

Over at the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy was miserable. He couldn’t stop thinking about blasted Harry Potter and what his Uncle did to him. At first he thought it was funny, but then he only found himself pitying Potter and it was driving him mad. Eventually, he made the decision to talk to Potter about it, maybe help him get over it. He had no idea why he felt like that but he did. He slowly stood up, ignoring the people asking where he was going. He slowly made his way across the Hall to the Gryffindor table and stopped directly behind Harry. He looked up when he noticed Malfoy behind him. Malfoy leant forward and spoke in Harry’s ear so that only he could hear him.

‘Potter, I need to talk to you… in private.’

‘Why would you possibly need to talk to me?’ Harry whispered back.

‘Do you really want to talk in front of all these people?’ Draco sneered.

‘What about?’ Harry asked, his curiosity peeked. He could see Ron and Hermione glaring at Malfoy.

‘It’s about your Uncle,’ Draco whispered. Harry spun around so fast, his neck cracked. Malfoy noticed that Potter had paled a little and his mouth was hanging open. Malfoy straightened up and walked out of the Hall. Harry turned to Ron and Hermione, made a quick excuse and raced after Malfoy. Draco was waiting for him and pulled him inside an empty classroom, locking and silencing the door so they could not be disturbed or heard. As soon as that was done, Harry rounded on him.

‘What do you know?’

Draco shifted uncomfortably. How was he going to say this? ‘Everything.’

‘How?’

‘Um, I sort of overhead you talking to Weasely and Granger.’

Harry’s face darkened. ‘So you were spying on me?’

‘No! I heard people talking and then yelling. I didn’t know it was you until I heard what you said. So it’s true then?’

‘What’s true?’

‘About what you said. Your Uncle really did rape you, didn’t he?’

Harry sighed and nodded. Then he spoke again, this time with anger in his voice. ‘What do you want?’

‘What?’

‘What do you want? You obviously want something to keep your mouth shut so you won’t go to the Prophet.’

Malfoy just stood there in shock, not able to believe his ears. Harry thought he would sell this to a newspaper? He couldn’t believe… no, actually, he could. After all the things he’d done to Harry and his friends over the years, he shouldn’t have expected anything else. ‘No… I don’t want anything.’

‘What?’ Harry asked in surprise.

‘I don’t want anything,’ Malfoy repeated. ‘I just wanted to know if it were true. I guess I know.’ Draco turned to leave but Harry grabbed his arm. He felt a tingle run up it at Harry’s touch. Strange, he thought. He shook it off and looked up into Harry’s startling green eyes. He could see, fear, anger and sadness in them.

‘Why?’ Harry asked.

‘Why what?’

‘Why don’t you want anything, why are you being nice?’

‘Harry, please. After what your Uncle did, did you really expect me to run off and tell the entire school? Your Uncle’s a bastard for what he did and I know we haven’t gotten on the best in the time we’ve known each other but I would never do something like that to you and I would never tell anyone what happened.’ With that, Malfoy swept from the room, leaving a very shocked and confused Harry behind. He stayed like that for a minute or maybe and hour, staring at the spot where Malfoy had just been. Eventually, he left the room and headed to Gryffindor tower, dinner having finished. When the portrait opened, Harry spotted Ron and Hermione waiting for him by the fire. He went over to them and sank into a chair.

‘Harry, you all right mate?’ Ron asked, looking worried. Harry didn’t answer. ‘Hey Hermione, he looks like the first time he got kissed by Cho Chang. You don’t suppose Malfoy kissed him do you?’ At this, Harry looked up, his eyes wide as he started coughing heavily. ‘Oh god, you should have seen your face,’ Ron said between laughs, then stopped when he noticed Harry wasn’t laughing. ‘Um… He didn’t kiss you, did he?’ Ron asked, worried again, everyone knowing that Malfoy was bisexual.

‘No, of course not,’ Harry said looking at Ron disbelieving. ‘No, but he was being nice, for once.’ Right at that moment, Harry wished he had a camera for the look on Ron’s face was hilarious.

‘He was being… nice?’

Harry nodded. ‘Yeah, it was weird.’

‘What did he want to talk about,’ Hermione asked, looking up from her potions essay.

‘He… He overhead us talking, about my Uncle.’

‘Oh great, I bet he’s gonna run off to the Prophet with it or blackmail you,’ Ron said.

‘Yeah, that’s the thing. I thought the same thing but he said he didn’t want anything and he wasn’t going to tell,’ Harry said with a frown.

‘Are you sure he was telling the truth, Harry?’ Hermione asked.

‘I just know, you didn’t see him, it was very weird.’ He shrugged and turned to stare into the lit fire.

‘Fine but I think the three of us should have a word with him tomorrow,’ Hermione said.

Harry nodded. ‘Yeah, I’m gonna go to bed. I’ll see you later,’ he said as he stood up. Ron and Hermione bid him goodnight and he made his way up the stairs to the boy’s dormitories. He entered the seventh year’s room and quickly got changed into the new pyjamas he had bought at Diagon Alley. He climbed into his bed, pulling the hangings shut around it. As Harry tried to fall asleep, his mind was filled with Malfoy’s words and thoughts about the Slytherin. Why was Malfoy nice? he thought. Is it some ploy to get near to me and then hex me or was he really being sincere. He didn’t know and until he found out, he was going to be on his guard. It took a few hours to fall asleep but eventually he did, still thinking about the blonde boy.

The next day, Harry woke up feeling even worse than when he fell asleep. The events of the past couple of weeks had finally caught up on him and he just felt so… Urgh, he didn’t know how he felt. He quickly put up a silencing charm and let all the pain, anger, sadness and humiliation leave him in a wash of tears. For one of the first times, he just let it all out. Everything that he had felt in his life, everything that had happened to him. The abuse and neglect he got from the Dursley’s, his first year at Hogwarts with Quirrel and Voldemort, the Basilisk and Riddle in his second, Dementors and Sirius in his third, the Triwizard Tournament and the graveyard in his fourth and the battle at the Ministry of Magic and Sirius’ death in his fifth. Not to mention everything that happened last year. Everything that had ever happened in his life, all the pain and suffering he caused people. He just let it all out, the tears coming fast as sobs shook his body.

A moment later, he heard a creek on the stairs as someone came up and then the door opening. ‘Harry?’ came Ron’s voice. Harry quickly wiped his tears away and pulled the hangings open. He plastered a fake smile on his face as he climbed out of bed. ‘Are you OK, Harry?’ Ron asked, noticing the fresh tear tracks on Harry’s face.

‘I’m fine, I’ll be down in a minute, I’m just going to get dressed.’ Ron didn’t look convinced but he turned and left the room anyway. Harry sighed and sank onto his bed. Nobody else was in the room. Maybe all I do is bring pain to the people around me. Maybe I’m better off dead, he thought.


Meanwhile, downstairs, Ron went back down and sank into a chair by Hermione, a few minutes later. She looked up at him and noticed the troubled look on his face. ‘What is it?’ she asked.

‘It’s Harry, I think he’s been crying again.’

Hermione sighed, concerned for her friend. ‘I’ll go up and talk to him.’ She got up and made her way up the boy’s staircase. She knocked on the seventh year boy’s door but received no answer. She knocked again but still no answer. Hermione pulled the door open … and screamed. A few seconds later, Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean came hurtling up the staircase with their wands drawn. When they saw what made Hermione scream, they froze. There, hanging by his neck from a rope, was Harry. His eyes were shut tightly closed and his face had an impassive look on it. Neville looked as if he wanted to be sick and Seamus and Dean didn’t look any better so Ron took charge.

‘Neville, go and get Professor McGonagal, Seamus, Dean help me with him. Hermione, go back downstairs. Do it, now!’ Everyone did as they were told. Ron ran forward, Seamus and Dean right behind him as Hermione and Neville disappeared back out the door and down the staircase. Ron drew his wand, pointed it at the rope and muttered a spell. Instantly, the rope cut and Harry’s limp form fell to the ground with a thump. Ron quickly removed the noose around Harry’s neck and checked for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt one. A moment later, Professor McGonagal hurried into the room and surveyed the seen.

‘What happened?’ she asked.

‘Professor, Harry tried to hang himself! He’s got a pulse but it’s really weak!’ came Ron’s reply.

McGonagal paled. ‘Move! I’ll take him to the hospital wing. Mr Weasely, go and get Miss Granger and inform Dumbledore.’ Without another word, McGonagal picked Harry up and swept from the room, running as fast as she could with Ron right behind her. In the common room, Ron grabbed a teary Hermione and they both ran as fast as they could to the headmaster’s office. As soon as they got there, Hermione practically screamed the password at the gargoyle and when it leaped aside, they ran up the staircase and burst into the room without knocking. Dumbledore looked up at them startled but before he could say anything, Ron spoke.

‘Professor, you have to come quick. It’s Harry, he tried to hang himself.’

Instantly, Dumbledore was on his feet and heading for the door. ‘Where is he?’

‘McGonagal took him to the hospital wing.’ Without another word, Dumbledore left the office with Ron and Hermione at his heels. They went as fast as they could, making their way towards the hospital wing. When they got there, they saw a group of people standing beside a hospital bed, which had Harry in it. The group consisted of Professor’s McGonagal and Lupin, her having met Lupin on her way to the hospital wing and he joined her when he saw Harry, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ginny, Lavender and Parvati, the three girls also following Professor McGonagal. Ron and Hermione joined the group while Dumbledore hurried over to Madame Pomfrey

‘Poppy, how is he?’

‘He’s going into shock, I’m just finishing off this spell,’ she replied as she finished waving her wand. Harry’s body stopped bucking and settled back down onto the pillows. Madame Pomfrey quickly glanced at the group and beckoned McGonagal, Lupin and Dumbledore into her office. She turned to face them. ‘Albus, do you know why he did this?’

Dumbledore sighed and rubbed his head as McGonagal, Lupin and Pomfrey watched him, waiting for an answer. ‘I’m afraid I do know but before you ask, I think it is up to Harry if he wants you to know.’

‘Very well,’ Pomfrey replied but before she could say anything else, they heard yelling from the other room. The four of them hurried out of the room to find Hermione, Ginny, Lavender and Parvati crying and Harry thrashing around on the bed he was on. They could only watch in shock as Harry started yelling.

‘No, no, please. Let me go, please… No, Vernon, no, please…’ came Harry’s voice as he continued to thrash around. Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore shared a glance. Only themselves, apart form Lupin who had a vague idea, knew what Harry’s Uncle had done to him. Harry continued to thrash around, his eyes shut tightly closed as Madame Pomfrey hurried forward to calm him. Abruptly, he sat bolt upright, his eyes going wide and rolling around in their sockets. His breath came in heavy pants but he seemed to calm as he realised where he was. He looked around dazedly at the people around him, all wearing similar concerned expressions. He slowly sank back down into the pillows.

Dumbledore stepped forward. ‘Harry, do you know who we are, where you are?’ Harry gave a nod, recognising everyone around him and the fact that he was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. ‘Harry, do you remember what happened, what you did?’ Harry gave another nod. He remembered conjuring a rope, looping it around is neck and then… He turned away from them, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. ‘Harry, why did you try to kill yourself?’

Harry turned back to the old man with a sneer very similar to that of Draco Malfoy’s on his lips. ‘You know very well why,’ he hissed.

‘Harry, like I said yesterday, I’m very sorry that happened to you but that’s no reason to throw your life away. You have so much to live for,’ Dumbledore replied.

‘Like what? Having my life ruled and dictated by people like you? Having Voldemort hunting me for the rest of my life until one of us dies at the hand of the other? Watching the people I care about die because of me? I’m better off dead,’ Harry said, turning away from them again. Ron, Hermione and everyone else in the room stared at him in disbelief and shock. He turned back to them. ‘Ron, Hermione stay, everyone else get out.’ Nobody moved. ‘NOW!’ he yelled, the room shaking slightly. Dumbledore sighed but obediently left as did everyone else, leaving Ron and Hermione alone with Harry.

‘Harry…?’ Hermione began timidly but Harry cut her off.

‘Why did you do it? You know just as well as I do that I’m better off dead.’

‘That’s not true. You’re one of my best friends and I don’t want you dead,’ Hermione said, tears falling down her cheeks again.

‘Hermione, stop it,’ Harry snapped. ‘The teary approach won’t work, I’ve made up my mind.’

Ron glared at him. ‘So you’ve just decided to let him win then?’

‘What?’

‘You’re just going to give up and let You-Know-who win? Leave everyone else to stop him while you feel sorry for yourself?’ Ron said as Harry glared.

‘Ron, you have no right to say that,’ Hermione snapped as both Harry and Ron stared at her. ‘Harry has gone through a lot and I’m sorry to say this but I’m not really surprised Harry took this course of action. Now that doesn’t mean I support it but we wouldn’t be real friends if we don’t help him with this.’ Hermione turned back to Harry. ‘So, will you let us help you with this?’

Harry groaned. ‘I wish you weren’t so stubborn,’ he muttered. ‘Fine but there’s a lot to go through and I don’t think you can help.’

Hermione smiled at his response, Ron also grinning. She walked forward and hugged him tightly. ’Don’t worry, we’ll never give up on you.’ She pulled back and saw Harry wince. ‘Oh, sorry,’ she said sheepishly.

‘Look, you two had better get to class,’ Harry said. At their glance he sighed. ‘I promise I won’t try to kill myself again, well, not until you two come back at least.’

Ron rolled his eyes. ‘Fine, we’ll see you at lunch. Oh and also, um… Everyone that was in hear heard you yelling about your Uncle in your sleep.’ Harry groaned. ‘I bet they’re gonna have a lot of questions concerning this. Do you want us to tell them? It might help to have more people on your side to help with questions you’ll get about this.’

Harry sighed. ‘You’re probably right. Tell them but keep the details vague, I don’t want them getting a mental picture of it. Also, make sure they don’t tell anyone else.’ Ron and Hermione nodded, waved him goodbye and then left, leaving Harry to his thoughts.


A/N: There we go, chapter three. Please review!