Payback is a Witch

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to JKR. All situations are mine. No $$$ is being made from this fanfic.
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Chapter 3 ~ Waking Up Witch

"Um…eight o'clock wake up call! You have to get up!" a nervous young male voice sounded on the other side of the door to room one eighteen.

It was twenty-two year old Harold Gumpfort, the morning prep wizard for the Three Broomsticks. Normally he'd be in the kitchen setting up for the breakfast crowd, but this morning Rosmerta sent him upstairs to do a wake-up call because she was busy with inventory and placing orders for supplies.

"Make sure she's up before you leave, Harold," Rosmerta told him.

So far, there was no answer. Harold knocked again.

"Morning wake-up!" he called through the door. He had a key and could use it if necessary, but he'd rather the witch in the room got up herself.

Severus groaned and rolled over. He opened his eyes and blinked several times. He immediately knew he wasn't at Hogwarts. Who was banging like that?

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, still trying to get adjusted to the bright light of day. What happened? The last thing he remembered was that Hermione had stuck him in the ass, saying she had the antidote, then everything going blurry…

Severus was suddenly aware that he didn't feel quite right…his chest felt heavy. He looked down…

Harold started when a piercing scream came from the room. He fumbled with the key and opened the door and rushed in to find a chestnut-haired witch sitting up in the middle of the bed feeling her body all over.

"What's wrong?" he asked Severus.

"What's wrong?' Severus snapped, climbing out of the bed and standing up, facing Harold and pulling his robes tight against his body. "Look at this body! These breasts! This ass!"

Harold looked. They weren't too bad. Sure she was older than he was…looked as if she were around twenty-six. Was she coming on to him?

Harold leaned back and looked out into the hallway to see if anyone were coming. No one was around. He looked at Severus again.

"Doesn't look like anything's wrong with your body from where I'm standing," the wizard said with a grin. "Maybe I should give it a closer examination?"

Severus froze and looked at the young man imperiously.

"This…" he seethed, "Is not my body. It belongs to someone else."

"Oh," Harold said, the light going out of his eyes, "Well, if you're involved with somebody else that's all you had to say."

Severus stared at the wizard for a moment.

"Get the fuck out of my room," he said.

His voice still sounded dangerous, even though he spoke with Hermione's timbre. Harold picked up on it immediately and backed out of the room.

"All right," he said closing the door and heading back down the hallway.

"Crazy witch. She needs to get her signals right," he muttered, bouncing down the stairs.

Severus stood in the room, helplessly looking down at the body he found himself trapped in. Hermione Granger's body. And if he were in her body…that meant…she was most likely tripping around the wizarding world in his. Dear gods.

"Shit," he said, running his hand through his thick mane of curling hair. Suddenly he had to piss. He walked toward the bathroom, aware of the weight of his breasts and ass as he did so. He felt off-balance and had to twist a bit to move properly. Everything seemed to jiggle.

The transformed wizard entered the bathroom and walked over to the loo. He immediately began to unfasten the front of his robes and went for his fly, but there was no fly. He had a skirt on underneath his robes.

"Oh Merlin's balls," he seethed, turning around, hiking up his robes awkwardly and lowering his knickers. Severus sat on the bowl, hissing because it was cold. He felt as if he were sitting on pillows, his ass was so plump.

"I'm going to kill that witch," he said, scowling.

After using the loo and wiping himself, Severus flushed it, washed his hands and splashed some water on his face. Then he stared at himself in the mirror. Wide amber eyes stared back at him, and small full lips pursed petulantly. His hair looked as if he'd been in a wind tunnel. He ran his hand through it, but it just looked worse. He looked around the bathroom. There was no brush. Fuck it. He had to get out of here and find Hermione. Hm. She said the antidote was at her house.

Damn. He had no idea where Hermione lived.

Severus walked back into the room and looked at the table. His wand was there but every bit of paperwork was gone. The patent papers were in his robes pocket and Hermione must have taken her briefcase and all the research papers. He picked up his wand and put it in his pocket. Then he sat down on the bed to think.

How could he find out where she lived?

Hm. Ronald Weasley worked at the Ministry as an Auror. He could tell him where the witch lived. Severus stood up with purpose.

He would go to the Ministry, find out where Hermione lived, then go there and make her give him the antidote, then pay her back for this atrocity. The wizard wasn't sure what he would do to her, but he'd figure that out later.

Severus stalked out of the room, tromped down the stairs and headed for the exit. Rosmerta was counting bottles of liquor behind the bar and notating them on a little parchment pad when she saw Severus descending the stairs. She had no idea it was Severus however. He looked like Hermione after all.

"Good morning, Hermione," she said with a bright smile, "Did you have a good night's sleep?"

"No I did not, Madam, and your wake-up service leaves something to be desired," Severus snapped with a scowl, stalking past the startled witch and exiting the inn.

Rosmerta blinked after him. Hermione had never been so rude. Harold must have done something wrong when he woke the witch up.

"Harold!" Rosmerta called toward the kitchen, "Get out here!"

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Severus apparated to the Ministry and walked up the stairs quickly. He felt a little winded. Hermione's body wasn't in top physical shape like his own and already he was pushing it. Her legs were so short…he felt as if he couldn't cover any distance in good time. He tried to stride but all he could manage was a quick, shifting gait. He was aware his ass was swinging and breasts bouncing despite being encased in a bra. An uncomfortable bra. This was awful. He wasn't used to all this meat hanging off him. He walked through the Ministry door. A clerk sitting at an information desk greeted him.

"Good morning, Mistress Granger," the woman said as Severus stalked up to her, scowling.

"I need to talk to Ronald Weasley," he said.

The clerk looked at the witch. She never looked so…unpleasant before. Hermione always had a return greeting. Maybe she was just having a bad morning.

"I just saw Mr. Weasley go into the Auror staff room," the clerk replied, her blue eyes looking at Severus intently.

"And where's that?" he snapped at her.

The witch scowled a bit herself now.

"Where it's always been, down the corridor, fifth door on the right," she replied peevishly.

Severus stalked away without a word of thanks.

"Honestly, people should leave their problems at home," the clerk muttered, looking after the witch. She was walking a little strangely as if her balance was off. Hm. Was Mistress Granger a teetotaler? The clerk shook her head and went back to her work.

Severus walked into the staff room. There were tables, a cooler, a sink, counter and cabinets, and a stove. Ron was pouring himself a cup of coffee from a pot and was the only one in the room. He set the pot back down on the stove, took a careful sip of the coffee, then turned to see Severus. His eyes lit up.

"Mr. Weasley, can you tell me where Hermione Granger lives?" Severus asked him.

Ron looked at the witch in front of him oddly…then a slow smile crossed his face.

"Oh…Mr. Weasley is it now?" he said, setting his coffee down on the closest table and walking toward Severus. "Is this a new game, Miss Granger? If it is…I like it."

Ron definitely had a rather predatory look on his face as he approached Severus, who instinctively started to back up.

Suddenly, Ron grabbed him and pulled him tight against his body.

"Mr. Weasley! What the hell do you think you're doing?" he yelled at him, struggling in the wizard's arms, trying to break free. But Hermione's body didn't really have any strength to it.

"This," Ron said, kissing him.

Severus froze, then bit the wizard on his lip before he slipped him any tongue. Ron released him immediately.

"Ow! What's wrong with you, Hermione?" Ron said, dabbing at his lip with his finger and looking at the bit of blood on the tip of it.

Severus fixed his robes.

"I didn't feel like being kissed," he replied, trying to keep his cool.

"So you bite me?" Ron asked him, sucking on his lower lip now. "You could have just said no, you know."

"You wrapped around me as if you had eight arms and didn't give me time to say anything, Mr. Weasley," Severus said, frowning.

Ron looked at the witch, his eyebrows raised.

"Ah, I get it. You're role-playing. You want to be hard to get. All right, I can get into this. You be Miss Granger, and I'll be Mr. Weasley," the red-headed Auror said. "I'll come by after work and we can become 'acquainted' again. We haven't shagged in ages anyway."

Severus looked at Ron in horror. He was fucking Hermione? Great Granymede! Thank the gods he'd be out of her body in a little while.

"Um, that's fine, Mr. Weasley. Now can you tell me where I live?" he asked the Auror.

Ron grinned at him.

"A stranger with amnesia. I love it," he said with a little growl. "Do you remember what your favorite position is?"

Severus rolled his eyes. This was too much.

"Yes, on top with the witch's legs thrown over my shoulders while I hold her down by the wrists," Severus replied, "Now can you please tell me where I live?"

Ron stared at the wizard open-mouthed.

"150 Lavender Lane, Little Hangelton," the wizard answered.

"Thank you," Severus said turning and starting to leave the room.

"Wait! How about a kiss for your old shag buddy before you go?" Ron asked, stepping forward. Severus spun.

"Let's just save that for tonight," he said.

"All right. I'll keep that position in mind too," the wizard said grinning lasciviously.

Severus exited the staff room. Were all wizards such hormonal driven pigs? He thought about himself when it came to witches.

Yes.

The wizard stalked past the frowning clerk, who wondered where the Potions Mistress was going. It was almost time to clock in for work. The clerk shrugged. Maybe she was taking the day off.

Severus walked down the Ministry stairs and headed for the closest public apparation point, shaking his head slightly. Hermione Granger fucking Ronald Weasley. He would never have believed it. Ron wasn't in her league at all.

Actually, Hermione and Ron were not compatible for a serious relationship. But as shag buddies they got along just fine. Ron was fun, the kind of wizard that would tackle a giggling Hermione, pull the covers completely over them and go to town, or chase her around the house naked, or slip a sock over his cock and parade around, striking ridiculous poses while she laughed herself into conniptions. Hermione and Ron weren't truly lovers, they were more like friends who fucked occasionally when the mood hit them. Both had other people they saw as well.

Ron was something else. If he felt Hermione starting to orgasm he'd shout, "And Ronald Weasley catches the Snatch! One hundred and fifty points for Gryffindor!"

Ron was the only wizard who could make Hermione laugh and come at the same time. The Auror was a piece of work all right. And Hermione enjoyed him immensely.

Severus reached the apparation point and vanished with a scowl and a clap of thunder.

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Hermione was sitting in her living room thumbing through the latest issue of Potions Weekly. She had just showered and was dressed in a pink, fluffy bathrobe much too short for Severus' body. It had been an interesting experience waking up with an enormous hard-on. She had forgotten how big the Professor's cock was.

"Merlin," she breathed when she woke up throbbing, the black silk boxers she wore stretched and tented toward the ceiling. Pissing was quite pleasurable too. Her erection deflated immediately afterwards.

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror, noting the mesmerizing black eyes, hawkish nose and sensuous, cruel mouth of the wizard. She eyed the lanky black hair.

"Well, this is something I can improve," she said heading for the shower.

Hermione spent quite a bit of time washing her cock. It felt delicious. Then she went at the lanky hair, scrubbing out all the greasiness with her favorite shampoo and then using her jasmine scented conditioner. When she exited the shower, she dried it and brushed it to silkiness. The Professor really had nice hair if he'd take care of it. She scourgified and pulled on the black boxers. The fluffy pink bathrobe was just habit.

Now she was waiting for him to show up. It was almost nine. She was sure he'd figure out a way to find out where she lived. On the small table next to the chair she was sitting in was a small bottle and a rubber-tipped hypodermic needle. The antidote.

The Professor must have been livid to wake up in a witch's body. She could only imagine what he went through. Well, he deserved it. At least she knew the elixir worked on humans as well as it did on nifflers and horned toads.

Hermione continued to leaf through her magazine. Suddenly the door flew open and Severus stormed in. Hermione looked up to see a petite, scowling chestnut-haired witch barreling toward her. She stopped about five feet away and put her hands on her hips.

"What the fuck are you wearing and what did you do to my hair?" Severus demanded, eyeing the fluffy pink bathrobe and his silky hair. The witch was already ruining his image.

"And is that jasmine I smell?" he seethed

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A/N: lololol. Soooo much fun to write. Please review.