But I Won't Do That

Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna sat around a table in the library. All their eyes held confusion, bewilderment, and fear.
There was no one else in the library to hear – Madam Pince was in the stacks – so Hermione had choked out what had happened in the Room of Requirement around her tears; it had filled in the details that explained what they’d all felt. Words seemed inadequate to describe what the five friends were feeling.

“I can’t believe it,” Luna said softly after a while. She had lost most of her dreamy, carefree nature in recent months, and now seemed almost ill, like she was stretched thin. “Not Harry. Not after everything we did.”

“We all felt it, Luna,” Neville said, his voice surprisingly even. “It’s exactly how Hermione described it. We…really only did what we did because Harry made us.”

“Harry…Harry ruined us,” Ginny whispered.

“That bloody BASTARD!” Ron shouted, leaping to his feet and slamming his fist on the table, making them all start. “We almost died following him into the Department of Mysteries! I’ve still got scars! And this is how he thanks us?”

“Ron, shh!” Hermione hissed.

“Don’t tell me to be quiet!” Ron snapped. “What the hell are we sitting here moping for anyway? We’re the ones who were hurt!”

“What are we supposed to do, Ron?” Neville asked. “We can’t make it so it didn’t happen.”

Ron glared furiously at Neville for a long moment before throwing himself back into his chair with a growl. “I’ve been pissed at Harry before,” he muttered finally. “I’ve been jealous, I’ve been disgusted…but I never thought I’d hate him.”

“Harry broke the laws of wizardry, didn’t he?” Neville asked. “I mean, Love Charms are illegal, right?” He looked at Hermione, who nodded.

“What should we do?” Luna asked. “Should we tell someone?”

“It wouldn’t do any good,” Hermione said miserably. “If we told Dumbledore… he knows Harry has to face Voldemort, he might not even do anything. And if we told- oh, say the Ministry, they’d want to lock him up in Azkaban.”

“Sounds about right to me!” Ron snarled.

“Harry can’t go to Azkaban,” Neville said. “V-Voldemort can’t be defeated until Harry’s fulfilled the prophecy, so if Harry’s locked up Voldemort has free reign.”

“Damnit, Neville, don’t you care what happened?” Ron asked hotly. “You’re talking like it’s just a stupid argument instead of Harry ruining our lives!”

“Of course I care,” Neville answered sadly. “I thought Harry was my friend, but I guess I was wrong. But I’m wrong a lot, so it’s nothing new.” No one could think of a response to that, so Neville continued. “But I don’t think Harry ruined our lives. He betrayed us…and it hurts, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“J-just the end of our friendships with Harry,” Luna said around a fresh outbreak of tears.

“There- there’s no going back from this…is there?” Hermione looked up and met Ron’s eyes. She didn’t think she’d ever seen so much pain in his expression; he was usually so good at hiding his feelings. But what Harry had done was far too big to be forgotten with an apology.

“WHERE IS HE?”

The five of them jumped at the furious bellow and twisted in their seats. Draco Malfoy was storming toward them, and any anger they felt was dwarfed to nothing by his. “Malfoy-” Neville started.

“Where is he ?” Draco repeated, shaking a piece of parchment in his hand. “I know you know where he’s gone! He fucking raped me, that sick bastard! And then he runs away ? I am going to kill him !”

“Wh-what do you mean, runs away?” Hermione stammered.

“I went to the Room of Requirement to curse him into little meaty Gryffindor chunks, and he’s gone!” Draco growled. “And he left this !” He threw the crumpled parchment onto the table, and the other five crowded around to read:



I’m not even going to try to make excuses. What I did was wrong; I knew it when I cast the Charm. I knew even then that I was going to lose all of you, but it didn’t matter. I knew when I first heard the prophecy that my life really wasn’t mine. I had to do anything and everything to prepare myself for fighting Voldemort, and that meant that the choices I wanted to make were unimportant.
I told Hermione you wouldn’t have to deal with me any more, and I meant it. I’m not going to make you waste time dealing with me any longer. I’ve left to find Voldemort to finish this mess…hopefully so that you all will be safe. You shouldn’t bother looking for me, although I know you probably wouldn’t anyway; but I’m magically cloaking my movements.

I’m going to win, too. It seems weird to feel so sure, but I know I’m going to beat him. And I’m sure you won’t care, but it’s because of all of you. You gave me the confidence to know I can defeat Voldemort. I just hope that the wizarding world learns you were the real heroes, not me.

It’ll happen quickly, I’m guessing within the next few days. And when it happens, you’ll know. There’s an after-effect to the Charm I cast that means you’ll all feel some things from me for a while. That means the six of you will know the instant Voldemort is dead. When it happens, please tell Dumbledore. Not for me, I wouldn’t ask that now, but it’s important the wizarding world know for sure. Dumbledore should be able to find Voldemort’s body, I think; I won’t be bringing it back. I won’t be coming back at all.

Thank you, and I’m sorry.
Harry

*****

Not surprisingly, the teachers noticed right away that Harry wasn’t attending classes. Professor Dumbledore called Ron and Hermione into his office the next evening and asked where Harry was. Ron and Hermione answered, truthfully, that they didn’t know.

“Did something happen I should know about?” Dumbledore asked, them, his eyes boring into them.

“No, sir,” Hermione mumbled, as Ron’s fists clenched until they were white.

The next day arrived in a rush. Everyone seemed to have noticed Harry’s absence, and rumors were spreading like wildfire throughout the school. The only six people who knew weren’t speaking – although it had taken a lot of effort to convince Malfoy not to openly declare Harry a rapist. Eventually they’d had to appeal to his pride and sense of self-preservation, pointing out how bad it would look to the other Slytherins that he’d been having sex with Harry.

That afternoon, Ron, Hermione and Neville were in Transfiguration. The class was proceeding as normal, but nothing for the past two days had felt normal, and the empty chair beside Neville seemed to take up far more space than it actually did. Even Hermione was finding it difficult to concentrate, and she, Ron and Neville all felt extremely tense, and couldn’t keep from fidgeting.

It was just as Professor McGonagall was demonstrating the day’s transfiguration lesson that it happened the first time. Ron, Hermione and Neville all were suddenly overwhelmed with tension, fear and rage. Their vision clouded, and they were lost in the emotions that flooded their senses. Their heartbeats accelerated, and their pulses pounded in their ears; sweat poured from them as though they were running a marathon, or fighting for their lives…

All at once it was over. The three friends found themselves on their hands and knees, looking at the floor and trembling with reaction. Everyone else was staring at them in horror. “M-Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger,” Professor McGonagall stammered, her face white. “What on earth just happened? Are you all right?”

Hermione raised her head carefully and looked at Ron. He seemed as uncomprehending as she was, and just as shocked. Her eyes darted to Neville, and he seemed the same.

And then it hit them again, but not the same. The tension flowed from their bodies, and joy filled them, joy and unbelievable relief , so powerful, that it filled them with peace. Ron’s jaw worked as he tried to understand what was happening, but it was Hermione who finally spoke. “He did it,” she whispered. “Harry- he did it!”

And Ron and Neville knew all at once Hermione was right. They all pulled themselves to their feet and stared at each other. Giddy laughter bubbled over and spilled from all three of them. “He did it !” Ron shouted, and with a whoop of joy threw his arms around Hermione and Neville.

The three of them cheered and sobbed, oblivious to the bewildered looks of their classmates. “I c-can’t believe it!” Neville stammered amazedly. “Harry beat him, he really did!”

It was like the weight of the world had been lifted from their shoulders. The most powerful, evil wizard in the world, whose name was never to be spoken, who had filled the world with terror, was gone. There would be no more nights wondering who might die tomorrow, no more family vanishing to never return. No more living in fear.

“Oh- Dumbledore!” Hermione blurted out. “We have to tell Professor Dumbledore right now!”

Without a word or a backward glance, ignoring McGonagall’s indignant cries, the three friends turned and ran out the door, followed by McGonagall and then their classmates. They flew down the corridor, only slowing when they found themselves face to face with Luna and Ginny, who’d come from another part of the castle. Words weren’t necessary – the happy tears on all their faces said everything that needed to be said.

When they arrived at the stone Gargoyle, Draco was already trying to gain entrance to Dumbledore’s office. All of them had brought their classes in their wakes, and the hall quickly became crowded and loud, but when Hermione reached Draco he turned to face her. “Bloody bastard did it, didn’t he?” he muttered. And when Hermione nodded, Draco scandalized the Gryffindors, disgusted the Slytherins, and shocked the entire school by throwing his arms around Hermione and crushing her in a fierce hug. “I don’t have to fear being killed in my sleep for not taking the Mark any more,” he whispered thickly, and Hermione further scandalized everyone by hugging him back with a surprised sob.

“I assume there is a reason for this impromptu gathering?” Dumbledore said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs. His eyes flashed over Hermione, who was just releasing a noticeably teary Draco, and his eyebrows shot up.

“Professor Dumbledore,” Neville blurted out before anyone else could speak, “Voldemort is dead!”

Every single person went completely silent. Dumbledore, who had always been the picture of poise and calm, bugged his eyes out. “What exactly are you talking about, Neville?” he asked carefully.

“Harry, sir!” Ron called from the other side of the corridor. “Harry did it, he beat V-Voldemort! That’s where he went, to find him, and now he’s done it! He told us we’d feel it, me, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Luna and Malfoy, and we all just did!”

“It’s true, Professor,” Hermione added ecstatically as Draco, Ginny, Luna and Neville all nodded vigorously. “Harry told us to tell you so you could go find Voldemort’s body to prove it! It’s over! Voldemort is dead!”

The corridor erupted in deafening cheers. Dumbledore tried to ask another question, but no one paid attention; without care of house or year or teacher or student, everyone hugged and kissed and hooted and wept. The siege had finally lifted; life could start again.

As the bearers of such fantastic news, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Luna and even Draco were the center of the raucous celebration; Luna found herself being embraced by Professor Sinestra, and Neville received a kiss on the cheek from a flushed Pansy Parkinson. And it was as Hermione was receiving her third hug from Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchley that they felt it again.

Shock, and pure terror. Then sudden pain, everywhere, overpowering them, crushing the breath from their lungs-

Then nothing. It was there and gone so quickly that all six of them staggered, barely staying on their feet. Draco’s shoulder hit Ernie Macmillan, who caught him, and Hermione found herself supported by an ashen-faced Seamus Finnegan.

The corridor was silent again, except for six throats gasping for breath. Everyone stared unblinkingly, unsure what had happened.

“No-” It was Ginny’s voice, barely more than a whisper, but loud enough for everyone to hear. “Nooo…”

“Harry,” Neville gasped. Ron had tears pouring down his cheeks; Luna’s fingernails were digging into her cheeks. Hermione shook her head, staring at nothing, and Draco bit his lip until it bled. Ginny collapsed to the floor with a heartrending wail, clutching at Professor McGonagall’s robes.

They’d all just felt Harry die.