On My Own

Here is chapter 2! I hope you are all enjoying this fic. It moves faster soon, I promise.

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Chapter 2 – This Changes Nothing

For the next few weeks Ginny continued as usual, many nights of the week leaving the castle close to curfew to drown her sorrows of what ever happened that day. Some nights Ginny would be desperate to leave the confines of Gryffindor tower but couldn’t because of the watchful eyes of her brother and friends. Ginny was sick of her brother thinking he had to look out for her, she was only a year younger than him and didn’t need his constant surveillance. Ron had his heart in the right place but he just made things worse. Ginny felt strangled and yet abandoned. She had no clue as to why she felt oppressed by her family, but she did. She was the only girl and the youngest so it was easy to see why everyone thought she needed protection. But she was stronger than they all thought. Then on other occasions she felt like the one forgotten in all the hype about Ron and Harry. In her first year, when they missed the train and flew the car into the whomping willow she felt like it wasn’t important that she had been excepted into Gryffindor because it was all about Ron. Of course at the time she could see no blame for Harry, but now, she blamed him just as much as the rest of her family.

Ginny couldn’t understand why she felt so strongly about how people saw her and yet she did. Ginny wished that someone had noticed the changes that had happened that summer. But it would appear that no one ever noticed her, she was not seen and so no one could tell the difference. It was the summer after fourth year and everyone was at Grimwall place.

Flashback…

Ginny was walking aimlessly when she walked into a room with the idiot who steels things. He was trying to unlock a box with the worst spells, some were hexes and not even unlocking charms. She asked what he was doing and he replied that he was trying to get his things out of the box, that someone had sent him. Deciding that she should just help him before he hurt himself, Ginny unlocked the box and discovered firewhisky. He handed her a bottle and said “lets just keep this to our selves shall we” and Ginny nodded, pocketing the bottle in her robe and left. She certainly wasn’t going to tell anyone, especially since if her mother found out she would be in more trouble than it was worth.

Ginny hid the bottle and forgot about it. It was only two more days until Harry was due to arrive. Dumbledore had insisted he go to his uncles for the first week of holidays to be with family and think things through. Harry knew it also had a great deal to do with the charms protecting him, but he was happy for a little alone time. Ginny had owled Harry during that week to ask if he wanted any of her mothers cooking and to make sure his uncle and aunt were being nice to him. Harry had replied that everything was fine and that he would be at Grimwall place as soon as Dumbledore let him. Ginny just wanted to provide him with someone to talk to without having to say anything meaningful. As long as he knew she cared.

Harry’s arrival was quiet, he arrived after dinner when the order were mostly elsewhere. Sitting in the library of the Black house, Harry and the Weasley’s swapped details of the first week of ‘holidays’. Harry put the term holiday in inverted commas because he knew that this was the beginning of the major fight and that there would be little rest or peace for anyone. He really just wanted to curl up and forget everything, he was no longer angry, he was just sad. Days progressed and nothing much happened. Remus came and saw everyone and had a quiet chat to Harry, Snape billowed in and out on occasion and Hermione arrived.

As time went on things settled into a rhythm. Hermione was helping Professor McGonigal with some research, Harry, Ron and Ginny often left to themselves to practice DADA (with permission of course) and help with anything that needed doing. They were all in the dark about Order business still, but at least they were given things to do. Everyone was coping with the loss of Sirius rather well, all things considered, even Harry had been seem laughing on a few occasions, but mostly he was serious and more determined than ever to work on spells and curses. The Black library had never been used as much as it was now and the number of dark arts volumes were very helpful for knowing what they were up against.

One night, Ginny couldn’t sleep. She decided a glass of milk would help. Walking quietly downstairs to the kitchen, Ginny opened the door to find non other than Harry sitting on a chair facing a bottle of clear liquid. It looked like water but the bottle was very muggle and unfamiliar. Harry’s eyes were red and he was just staring, she sat down opposite him and watched him look up at her.

“Duddley gave me this” He pointed at the bottle “Apparently it will make me forget”

“What is it?”

“Muggle alcohol.”

“You aren’t going to drink it though? Are you Harry?”

“No”

“Why are you down here then?”

“I couldn’t sleep and decided I would come down here in the quiet and think”

“Sorry Harry, I will just go then.”

Harry looked up at her and motioned for Ginny to stay. “No Ginny don’t go, it is nice to have someone here.”

Both sat in silence, neither knowing what to say and both enjoying the company without any expectations of having to discuss things.

Ginny’s mind wandered, she thought about how hard things must be for Harry and then about what was to come, but she quickly moved on from that depressing thought and then her mind landed on the bottle. ‘It would make him forget’ she thought, Ginny didn’t know how know anything about Muggle alcohol or how it worked. She knew that firewhisky made the drinker rather happy but could give them a rotten headache in the morning. She had older brothers, so she had seen people drinking. But never muggle drinks. The drink interested her, she wanted to know what it tasted like, what it made her feel, and what would she forget and for how long.

Ginny looked up to find Harry watching her.

“Why did your cousin give it to you?” She asked again

“I have no idea. Dumbledore told them to be nice and Dudley said he didn’t like it so I could have it. He told me not to tell aunt Petunia though, they don’t like me getting things, and your not allowed drink this until you are of age.”

“oh” was all Ginny could reply.

“Apparently him and his friends got some when he turned 16, who knows why he gave it to me though, what do I need to forget”

“What isn’t there to forget Harry?”

“I don’t want to forget, I just want to move on.”

“So why were you staring at it?”

“Why were you?”

Silence again.

*~*~*~*~*

Ginny knew that it was curiosity that caused her to taste that bottle of firewhisky. But it at the time she blamed Ron. Harry, Hermione and Ron were going to learn something with Remus and Ginny wanted to go, but Ron said she couldn’t and when she complained to her mother she was told she was to young. It reminded her of Egypt and not being allowed into the tombs.

Resentment, hate, anger, confusion

Ginny was determined to do something to go against them, she wanted to forget she was the youngest, forget she needed to be protected and forget that she wasn’t allowed. All her life she had been told she was too young, and yet it was now four years since she faced Riddle, dealt with his thoughts, his betrayal. Ginny was not made of glass and all she wanted was for people to see that. Why couldn’t they see her for who she was and not just the youngest Weasley.

After several large burning mouthfuls of firewhisky Ginny felt no difference until she stood and that’s when it hit her. She giggled at herself, she didn’t feel bad she just wanted to run through the house laughing, but knew she couldn’t.

This was fun, her mind was going a bit slow and everything had a funny aspect. All her anger and annoyance at not being aloud join the trio was forgotten as she enjoyed the numbness, eventually the feeling faded and she was tired falling into a deep sleep.

End of Flashback…

*~*~*~*~*

So the term was passing at Hogwarts and she continued to work through the school year. Drinking every few nights and more often when the trio ignored her or when people said told her she was too young. If she was so young then how could she sneak out of the castle whenever she wanted and drink? Too young, no she didn’t think so!

*~*~*~*~*

Draco’s mother was less than happy with the piece of information Draco gave her. Her reply was in the tone of the worst howler he had ever received. But this was not the type of information that one yelled about at breakfast. She had told him in no uncertain terms to use any means possible to find out what the older Weasley were up to. It must have been big for them to be so insistent. But what surprised Draco the most was that they were letting him do anything at all. He was always seen as the heir and the one to be protected, he was never allowed to know what was going on, his father always saying it wouldn’t be good to have that knowledge so close to Dumbledore. So why trust him with this and why now? Finally his parents trusted him with work for the Dark Lord so he was not about to complain, especially when it was nice clean work, even if it was hard and involved that horrible forest.

Draco started following Weaslette out of the castle. Some nights she would go out and drink, others she would not even venture outside the portrait hole. Draco didn’t know which nights he liked best, he liked to sleep early and rise early and yet he wanted so desperately to discover Ginny Weasley’s secret. He was also rather impressed that she managed to get away with it, he wondered what she was drinking that no one ever smelt it, and he certainly had never been close enough too. He also wondered how she made it outside without ever being seen by her friends, brother or a teacher. ‘Her innocent image must be helping her a lot’ Draco mused.

There was a definite pattern to her habits. She would leave the tower every third night on average, and then on other random nights as well. Soon Draco discovered that these nights seemed to link with how she was regarded by the Potter and his insufferable sidekicks. But the three-night pattern didn’t change regardless of when else she left. He found that very interesting. Draco started to notice there were also three spots she liked to sit and drink, one near the lake, one just inside the forbidden forest and the last one was near the castle but in amongst the shrubs and bushes. It did seem however that this last place was reserved for times when she seemed put off by the trio, almost like she was proving something to them. It was dangerous to sit so close to the school after curfew, but maybe that was the point.

Draco had learnt a lot about the Weasley girl by observing her, she certainly had many sides to her personality. She had this clam and collected face she seemed to use in the Great Hall and in classes, she had a thoughtful depressive face that she seemed to wear when she believed she was on her own, like in the library or in the halls. Her anger even had different sides, when she was drinking her face was alight with anger and pain and something else Draco couldn’t place, and then her tempter, it was wild and untamed. Ginny Weasley was a very interesting complicated person, but observation was something Draco was good at and he was determined to figure the girl out. This had become a project for himself as much as for his family duties.

Draco followed Ginny out of the castle one Friday night, she should be headed for the lake and just like clock work, she was. Draco took a detour to the kitchens, because tomorrow was the weekend he was in for a long night.

Ginny saw Draco coming, she sat herself so she could watch him as he watched her. He often came down to watch her. Ginny couldn’t understand why he bothered, she never said anything and he never approached her. But yet several nights a week he would watch in silence. Tonight he was eating what looked like to be cake, or a muffin. It reminded her that she didn’t eat much that night on account of Hermione fussing about some silly prefects meeting and making sure Ron and Ginny would be there and had done what was asked of them. Ron agreed with Hermione but Ginny didn’t need a second mother and told Hermione so. It had not gone well, with Harry telling her that Hermione was just trying to help and Ginny firing back she didn’t need help to attend a stupid prefect meeting and maybe tomorrow Hermione could tie her shoe laces for her.

The trio had been gob-smacked to say the least. They didn’t understand why Ginny was acting so strangely, but then again they never understood did they.

Draco sat himself down on the far side of a tree, he could see her but he didn’t think she could see him. Ginny drank for about 15 minutes before she decided that it was stupid him being all the way over there just staring at her. It was not like he was getting any information no matter where he sat and he might as well make her feel like she wasn’t drinking alone.

“Malfoy”

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Draco didn’t think he could be seen but he obviously had been so he might as well get the discussion from a nightmare over and done with.

“Weasley” Draco acknowledged with a nod

“Well come over here and stop sitting there by yourself.” Ginny was being nice to the git, she presumed it was the alcohol talking.

“What do you want Weasley?” Draco drawled like he hadn’t just been caught spying on the girl.

“Ha! You have to be kidding right? What do I want, I could ask you the same thing… but I don’t want to know.” Ginny gave him a look that acknowledged what she said was true, she had no desire to know why he was watching her and following her around. “Here have a drink.” Ginny handed a stunned Draco a flask, he took a swig and chocked, spitting the clear liquid all over the ground. He expected firewhisky and what he got was nothing like it.

“What in Merlin’s name is that?” Draco looked disgusted as he handed back the flask and she took another swig swallowing it down without a trouble in the world. Ginny then looked at him and laughed. It wasn’t the insane laugh of a drunk girl he expected it was more of a giggle. He glared and she laughed harder. Ginny had never seen anything as amusing as a Malfoy chocking on a bit of alcohol… but then again her laughing was alcohol induced itself.

“Sorry, I should have warned you” another small giggle escaped her mouth “but I didn’t think you would waste it.” Ginny was trying so hard not to laugh again… but she failed breaking back into bouts of giggles. Draco just continued to glare.

“So what is it Weasel, home brew?”

“I wish. No it is muggle, they call it Vodko or Vodka or something. Great stuff, you can’t smell it really, so it is dead easy to drink and no one know” oops Ginny thought, too much information.

“But it tastes awful” Draco cringing at the taste left in his mouth

“Here have another mouthful, but a small one” Ginny said giving him back the flask.

“Yuck! That tastes foul, but I guess that’s what you should expect from a Weasley.” Draco spat the words at her like he would have like to have spat the foul liquid.

Ginny was simply glad to have heard a jab at her family, it meant that Malfoy wasn’t trying to sweet talk anything from her.

“If you can’t handle it Malfoy, that’s not my problem. Why are you here anyway?”

“Why are you drinking?”

“I guess in that case neither of us will get the answers we want.” Ginny shrugged and put the flask down

“I thought you said you didn’t want to know why I was here”

“I guess that depends on the moment I am thinking it” Ginny shrugged. Draco was interested to see that she wasn’t constantly drinking. She had put the flask down, she was talking and her face wasn’t wearing the same expression she did normally. ‘Very interesting’ Draco mused.

The strange pair sat there in silence. Ginny only lifted the bottle to her lips only a few times, six to be exact. Neither knew why they sat there, or why it was so easy to do so. Ginny wasn’t thinking about life and she welcomed the change, for Draco’s part he was just impressed that she wasn’t afraid of him. But that was also rather disconcerting, she should be worried about him being there, but she didn’t seem to be.

“Malfoy” Ginny stood and began to walk off

“Weasley?” Ginny turned and looked at him and Malfoy continued “This changes nothing”

“Good” and with that she left.


Chapter 3 will be up soon.... the more reviews the sooner I will feel like posting it *smiles evilly*