What He Does To Me
Disgusting Day
FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking fuckity fuck! What the FUCK did I just do? Did I really fucking do that? Did I push you away? Did I? Oh, fuck! How the fuck could, I be so stupid!
I cannot believe you did that! Shit fucking retard! Didn’t you know I would do that? Have you noticed ANYHING about me? Dear god Sirius, how could you do that to me? It took every once of self-control I had to push you away. There’s none left. Please stop fucking with me Sirius! Literally and otherwise. Stop coming to me every night. If you do, I won’t be able to keep up my emotionless state. I have to, I cannot waver. I cannot falter. I’m not supposed to let you know how much I care for you! I am not supposed to care for anyone!
And NEVER do anything like THAT ag God God, I wish I could tell this all to you, but I can’t. It’s just going to keep happing. Every night you will fuck me until I cum all over myself and you shoot your load off inside of me. Then you will leave. It will never stop will it?
GOD! How could I live if it stopped? Oh Sirius, you have no idea. I need you. Every night, you have to come to me. If you stopped, I’d be lost. I would die if you stopped coming. I need you flesh against mine even if I can never tell you that. Fuck it. Fuck it all.
This has been a disgusting day.
Snape’s POV-
That did not go well. That is an understatement. Severus why? Why? I know that you wanted me to kiss you; I know you wanted to participate in the kiss. Oh god Severus, what is wrong with you!? Why do you act like that? Why do you push me away? Severus, please open up to me tell me your life.
It is useless isn’t it? All this thinking. I’ll never be able to tell you I love you or that I’m here for you. You will never know that my intent is not to hurt you, but to help you. I’ll never be able to go to you, kiss you again, and tell you that you are okay now. That’s never going to happen is it?
But it has to! I have to get you. I have to make you my own. You are my life Severus. If you weren’t there, I would break, I would crumble. Please Severus, help me stay strong.
That’s it; I can’t keep living like this. I have to tell you that I love you! I have to take you in my arms and never let go. I need courage to love you; I hope I have that courage somewhere inside me.
Who am I kidding; I’ll never be able to do it.