Black Coffee
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
2,818
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
2,818
Reviews:
17
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Broken
CHAPTER THREE: Broken
Warning: The chapter has been written using flashbacks and it can be a little bit confusing. For any doubt you could leave me a review with your questions. I promise I’ll answer you as soon as possible. Remember that you can also leave me your comments on www . livejournal . com (user name: daphne_myst), you are all welcome!
------------
It was Sunday evening, the first Sunday after the end of the school year at Hogwarts. It was the day after all the students had gone away to their homes to enjoy their summer holidays and only the teachers remaineere.ere.
Remus Lupin had already packed his bags and made his way to the Dumbledore office. Before he could knock on the door a low voice inside the office made him enter the room. Slowly he sat in the chair and wait. As usual Dumbledore offered him Lemon Drops and some tea and they ate silently.
“So, you are leaving together” the Headmaster said with an intense gaze
“How do you know?”
“I’ve seen Severus this morning”
“I see”
“Are you sure is that what you want?”
“Albus you promised….”
“I know, I know…it’s your decision.” The Headmaster said stopping him. ”But I love you all and I want you to be happy”
“But that’s what he wants too… he told me…”
“Remus, he loves you” Albus said convincingly.
“I …. I just don’t know” the werewolf said sadly “I thought he did but I’m not sure now”
“And what about you” the Headmaster asked “do you love him?”
Remus remained silent for a few minutes, looking straightly into the old man’s eyes. Finally he stood up and took his bags, walking towards the door while he muttered.
“I’ve got to go now”
“You know my office will be always opened for you …if you need me”
Remus turned around and smiled sadly “I know Albus” and then he went away.
The Headmaster sighed and stood looking at the closed door, several worried wrinkles were painted in his face.
“That’s not going to be easy. Don’t you think Fawkes?” he said out loud and smoothly caressed his old phoenix bird. The animal made a low sound. “Oh I know … I know, it’s none of my business” he said exasperated and then ordered some food.
-----------------------
A few days before, in the cold dungeons, a dark-haired man was looking at the dark trees of the Forbidden Forest, bathed by the moonlight, through the tall windows. ‘He never felt the night so dark and the light so sharp. He always knew something could happen at any time, but he never could imagine it would be like that. He never imagined the coldness, the pain so long forgotten. In a few hours he would be alone, alone after nine years of pretending happiness. But he was determined…’
Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts
“Enter” he said and turned around to face the door. A small silhouette entered the room silently, an undetermined expression in his face.
“I can explain it Severus”
“There is nothing to explain Lupin” the Potion’s Master said sharply
“But if you just let me… you don’t understand... it has a l a long time… all these years I thought he killed them Severus, but I was wrong… I don’t know what I’m feeling right now and … he needs me” he said, trying to put all his thoughts and feelings in a coherent sentence, but he failed.
“You’rong ong Mr.Lupin, I consider myself an intelligent person and I know what I’ve just seen. I’m not a fool, I know what kind of “need” he wants from you… and I have serious motives to think it’s reciprocate” he said levitating a trunk towards the werewolf .
“What’s that?” Remus said hopeless, knowing the answer fully well
“Your belongings” he said as if stating the obvious “I think you’ll need them in your ‘new life’” he said, his voice so slightly trembling that his lover almost missed it. Almost.
“You don’t want me to go” he said with a faint of hope
“Oh, Yes I do” he answered, trying successfully to seem determined. “I told you then and I repeat it now: I’m not the second option of anyone. You managed to lie to me during nine years Lupin, but you won’t anymore”
“Lie… I didn’t lie to you Severus.. I lov…”
“Shut your poisoning mouth, you repulsive werewolf” The Potion’s Master shouted trembling with anger, and Remus froze. He never heard such filthy words from Severus, not even in their school years. Butinstinstantly felt an unknown anger pulsing inside his veins
“You don’t understand a shit Severus, as usual, you never trusted me and you will never trust anyone because you’re just a coward” he said shaking “ You never trust anyone because you’re just too afraid, If someone can make you suffer you push him away…”
“THAT’S ENOUGH, GET OUT OF MY ROOMS” Severus shouted trembling in anger
“Be sure I will” Remus said strangely calmed “Maybe you’re right, maybe I should start a new life… at least ‘he’ trusts me” He finished, the anger mixed with an aching sharply pain.
He took his trunk and went away, closing the door noisily behind him and crossing the damp corridors quickly, a single tear unsuccessfully struggling to get out of his eyes. ‘He felt empty, so terribly empty … but he managed not to feel it… Severus didn’t want him… he didn’t love him… he was angry just because Sirius took him his ‘property’… just because he hated Sirius…’ he thought, but deeply in his heart he know that was not true.
--------------------------
‘It has been all so fast… a month ago he had discovered that his old lover Sirius Black was not a murderer, that he had been held in Azkaban for twelve long years knowing that anyone trusted him.
And now it was there in front of him, claiming for his lost love just like in the school days. He was devastated and broken and needed someone by his side. He had just known Harry, his godson, when the boy had rescued him the the Hogwarts prison and helped him escape. He was the last memory of his friends James and Lily Potter.’
Remus put a gently hand on his shoulder while Sirius tried to explain what happened that terrible day twelve years before. His voice was low and tremulous, his body shaking in tears.
“I tried to tell you Moony… but I just couldn’t, it was too risky… I thought I would fail so I asked Peter…. I’m so sorry… I didn’t know, if I had just been stronger...”
Remus embraced him and smelt his scent with his wolf senses, recognizing the sweet taste of his lost love beyond the sweat and the fear… ‘he was still him, the young Sirius he loved was still there, hidden behind a thirty-year-old body’.
“It was not your fault, Padfood” he said and embraced him “It’s me who needs to apologize…” he said with a weak voice
“I didn’t trust you, I thought your were a murderer, I thought you brought them to Voldemort… I’m sorry” he finished almost whispering.
They stayed in each other’s arms for what seemed to be years, since both calmed down. Then Sirius talked for hours, he explained all his years in Azkaban, all his thoughts, the feel of guilty and the pain for his friend’s deaths.
And finally he said something that broke Remus from the inside, something that hurt him deeply.
“But there is something that made me go on, something to fight for” Sirius said, looking intently into Remus eyes, with such confidence that afraid him.
Slowly he put a gently hand on Remus’ cheek, caressing him kindly with his thumb
“And that was you … you were the only strength I had to keep on living… I love you Moony, I never stopped loving you… your memories were the only thing they couldn’t made me forget”
And without any advice, Sirius pressed his body against his lover, making them both gently fell down the floor, and embraced him with such strength Remus couldn’t believe possible. his his lips touched and a shiver shook his body so strong that he thought he could faint. His mouth responded instinctively and moaned when their tongues touched. But then he came back to the present and pushed Sirius’ mouth away.
“No… Sirius wait…. I cant”
“ What’s the matter ?” Sirius said worriedly
“Sirius … you have to understand… it’s been so long… I believed you killed Lily and James..”
“I don’t understand Remus… nothing of that matters now…I love you… it will be like the old times, when we were together… come with me Moony, come with me to Grimauld Place, we will start a new life…” Sirius pleaded
“I can’t Sirius… I … I am with someone now” he finally said and Sirius froze, suddenly understanding
“ Who…? Do I know him?”
Remus stared at him, the words struggling to get out of his mouth when the door was opened. A large black robe entered the room and suddenly stopped. A pair of painful eyes remained looking at him intently for a few more seconds, and then, without uttering a word, he went away, letting the chilly wind blowing through the opened door.
“No! Severus wait!” Remus shouted and pushed Sirius away trying to follow the Potion’s Master, but a hand strengthened around his arm stopped him.
“Since when do you mind what the ‘greasy old bastard’ thinks?” Sirius asked
Slowly Remus looked at Sirius eyes and he understood. Pushing Remus away he asked:
“How long?”
“ Sirius…” Remus said and moved closer
“How long?” he asked almost shouting
“Nine….” He whispered it so low that Sirius couldn’t hear the ending
“Months?”
“Years”
Sirius stepped further and looked at Remus not wanting to believe it, but when he saw his eyes he knew it was true. Suddenly he felt really ill and almost fell down the chair behind him. Remus looked at him hesitating but finally he turned around and made his way to the dungeons ‘he could explain him after, but first of all he had to find Severus’.
And he found him, looking at the dark trees on the forbidden forest through the tall windows. Remus sighed and entered the room, hoping he would understand….
TO BE CONTINUED
-----------------
Like it? Hate it? Review please!!!!!!
Warning: The chapter has been written using flashbacks and it can be a little bit confusing. For any doubt you could leave me a review with your questions. I promise I’ll answer you as soon as possible. Remember that you can also leave me your comments on www . livejournal . com (user name: daphne_myst), you are all welcome!
------------
It was Sunday evening, the first Sunday after the end of the school year at Hogwarts. It was the day after all the students had gone away to their homes to enjoy their summer holidays and only the teachers remaineere.ere.
Remus Lupin had already packed his bags and made his way to the Dumbledore office. Before he could knock on the door a low voice inside the office made him enter the room. Slowly he sat in the chair and wait. As usual Dumbledore offered him Lemon Drops and some tea and they ate silently.
“So, you are leaving together” the Headmaster said with an intense gaze
“How do you know?”
“I’ve seen Severus this morning”
“I see”
“Are you sure is that what you want?”
“Albus you promised….”
“I know, I know…it’s your decision.” The Headmaster said stopping him. ”But I love you all and I want you to be happy”
“But that’s what he wants too… he told me…”
“Remus, he loves you” Albus said convincingly.
“I …. I just don’t know” the werewolf said sadly “I thought he did but I’m not sure now”
“And what about you” the Headmaster asked “do you love him?”
Remus remained silent for a few minutes, looking straightly into the old man’s eyes. Finally he stood up and took his bags, walking towards the door while he muttered.
“I’ve got to go now”
“You know my office will be always opened for you …if you need me”
Remus turned around and smiled sadly “I know Albus” and then he went away.
The Headmaster sighed and stood looking at the closed door, several worried wrinkles were painted in his face.
“That’s not going to be easy. Don’t you think Fawkes?” he said out loud and smoothly caressed his old phoenix bird. The animal made a low sound. “Oh I know … I know, it’s none of my business” he said exasperated and then ordered some food.
-----------------------
A few days before, in the cold dungeons, a dark-haired man was looking at the dark trees of the Forbidden Forest, bathed by the moonlight, through the tall windows. ‘He never felt the night so dark and the light so sharp. He always knew something could happen at any time, but he never could imagine it would be like that. He never imagined the coldness, the pain so long forgotten. In a few hours he would be alone, alone after nine years of pretending happiness. But he was determined…’
Suddenly a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts
“Enter” he said and turned around to face the door. A small silhouette entered the room silently, an undetermined expression in his face.
“I can explain it Severus”
“There is nothing to explain Lupin” the Potion’s Master said sharply
“But if you just let me… you don’t understand... it has a l a long time… all these years I thought he killed them Severus, but I was wrong… I don’t know what I’m feeling right now and … he needs me” he said, trying to put all his thoughts and feelings in a coherent sentence, but he failed.
“You’rong ong Mr.Lupin, I consider myself an intelligent person and I know what I’ve just seen. I’m not a fool, I know what kind of “need” he wants from you… and I have serious motives to think it’s reciprocate” he said levitating a trunk towards the werewolf .
“What’s that?” Remus said hopeless, knowing the answer fully well
“Your belongings” he said as if stating the obvious “I think you’ll need them in your ‘new life’” he said, his voice so slightly trembling that his lover almost missed it. Almost.
“You don’t want me to go” he said with a faint of hope
“Oh, Yes I do” he answered, trying successfully to seem determined. “I told you then and I repeat it now: I’m not the second option of anyone. You managed to lie to me during nine years Lupin, but you won’t anymore”
“Lie… I didn’t lie to you Severus.. I lov…”
“Shut your poisoning mouth, you repulsive werewolf” The Potion’s Master shouted trembling with anger, and Remus froze. He never heard such filthy words from Severus, not even in their school years. Butinstinstantly felt an unknown anger pulsing inside his veins
“You don’t understand a shit Severus, as usual, you never trusted me and you will never trust anyone because you’re just a coward” he said shaking “ You never trust anyone because you’re just too afraid, If someone can make you suffer you push him away…”
“THAT’S ENOUGH, GET OUT OF MY ROOMS” Severus shouted trembling in anger
“Be sure I will” Remus said strangely calmed “Maybe you’re right, maybe I should start a new life… at least ‘he’ trusts me” He finished, the anger mixed with an aching sharply pain.
He took his trunk and went away, closing the door noisily behind him and crossing the damp corridors quickly, a single tear unsuccessfully struggling to get out of his eyes. ‘He felt empty, so terribly empty … but he managed not to feel it… Severus didn’t want him… he didn’t love him… he was angry just because Sirius took him his ‘property’… just because he hated Sirius…’ he thought, but deeply in his heart he know that was not true.
--------------------------
‘It has been all so fast… a month ago he had discovered that his old lover Sirius Black was not a murderer, that he had been held in Azkaban for twelve long years knowing that anyone trusted him.
And now it was there in front of him, claiming for his lost love just like in the school days. He was devastated and broken and needed someone by his side. He had just known Harry, his godson, when the boy had rescued him the the Hogwarts prison and helped him escape. He was the last memory of his friends James and Lily Potter.’
Remus put a gently hand on his shoulder while Sirius tried to explain what happened that terrible day twelve years before. His voice was low and tremulous, his body shaking in tears.
“I tried to tell you Moony… but I just couldn’t, it was too risky… I thought I would fail so I asked Peter…. I’m so sorry… I didn’t know, if I had just been stronger...”
Remus embraced him and smelt his scent with his wolf senses, recognizing the sweet taste of his lost love beyond the sweat and the fear… ‘he was still him, the young Sirius he loved was still there, hidden behind a thirty-year-old body’.
“It was not your fault, Padfood” he said and embraced him “It’s me who needs to apologize…” he said with a weak voice
“I didn’t trust you, I thought your were a murderer, I thought you brought them to Voldemort… I’m sorry” he finished almost whispering.
They stayed in each other’s arms for what seemed to be years, since both calmed down. Then Sirius talked for hours, he explained all his years in Azkaban, all his thoughts, the feel of guilty and the pain for his friend’s deaths.
And finally he said something that broke Remus from the inside, something that hurt him deeply.
“But there is something that made me go on, something to fight for” Sirius said, looking intently into Remus eyes, with such confidence that afraid him.
Slowly he put a gently hand on Remus’ cheek, caressing him kindly with his thumb
“And that was you … you were the only strength I had to keep on living… I love you Moony, I never stopped loving you… your memories were the only thing they couldn’t made me forget”
And without any advice, Sirius pressed his body against his lover, making them both gently fell down the floor, and embraced him with such strength Remus couldn’t believe possible. his his lips touched and a shiver shook his body so strong that he thought he could faint. His mouth responded instinctively and moaned when their tongues touched. But then he came back to the present and pushed Sirius’ mouth away.
“No… Sirius wait…. I cant”
“ What’s the matter ?” Sirius said worriedly
“Sirius … you have to understand… it’s been so long… I believed you killed Lily and James..”
“I don’t understand Remus… nothing of that matters now…I love you… it will be like the old times, when we were together… come with me Moony, come with me to Grimauld Place, we will start a new life…” Sirius pleaded
“I can’t Sirius… I … I am with someone now” he finally said and Sirius froze, suddenly understanding
“ Who…? Do I know him?”
Remus stared at him, the words struggling to get out of his mouth when the door was opened. A large black robe entered the room and suddenly stopped. A pair of painful eyes remained looking at him intently for a few more seconds, and then, without uttering a word, he went away, letting the chilly wind blowing through the opened door.
“No! Severus wait!” Remus shouted and pushed Sirius away trying to follow the Potion’s Master, but a hand strengthened around his arm stopped him.
“Since when do you mind what the ‘greasy old bastard’ thinks?” Sirius asked
Slowly Remus looked at Sirius eyes and he understood. Pushing Remus away he asked:
“How long?”
“ Sirius…” Remus said and moved closer
“How long?” he asked almost shouting
“Nine….” He whispered it so low that Sirius couldn’t hear the ending
“Months?”
“Years”
Sirius stepped further and looked at Remus not wanting to believe it, but when he saw his eyes he knew it was true. Suddenly he felt really ill and almost fell down the chair behind him. Remus looked at him hesitating but finally he turned around and made his way to the dungeons ‘he could explain him after, but first of all he had to find Severus’.
And he found him, looking at the dark trees on the forbidden forest through the tall windows. Remus sighed and entered the room, hoping he would understand….
TO BE CONTINUED
-----------------
Like it? Hate it? Review please!!!!!!