I Alone
A Shattered Past
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A/N: Thanks to everyone that has continued to review
my work. It means a lot to me and I'm
enjoying the writing of this piece.
This part is a bit dark and hard to write. As before, I don't own any character from Harry Potter.
some thanks to the reviewers:
Snape's Secret: I did update really fast,
didn't I? LOL If I'm really into a
story, it just flows out. Plus I'm off
from work so I have a lot of free time! ^_^
Thanks for liking Jordan and I think she's great for Snape too ;)
considered her to be the mother hen of the Order. She has the Order's best interest at heart and can only see
Jordan as a Death Eater right now. And
as long as my muse cooperates, I'll keep updating. And I hope you keep reading. :)
Moony's Angel: Thanks for the review!
playing Lupin. Saw some pictures of him
as Lupin and it's YUCKY! I read another
one of your fics and you are very talented!
I'm going to check out the rest of them this weekend and you're welcome
for the reviews. ^_^
the counter: Er... thanks for the
statistics (I think). And what is
preduce? Do you mean prejudice?
Chapter Three
A Shattered Past
"I used to be a Death Eater," she finally said.
The words were finally out and Jordan's head began to
spin. She stepped away from Snape as he
quietly let go of her arm. He stepped
away from her and turned around, his mind racing. "A Death Eater?" he asked just to make sure he'd heard
right.
Jordan pulled the cuffs of her muggle sweatshirt over her
hands and then roughly wiped the tears off her cheeks.
at him.
He turned and looked at her. Why would someone like her become a Death Eater?
he knew what they looked for in potential members and she didn't fit the
profile. The Death Eaters wouldn't even
consider recruiting someone like her because it would be a waste of their time.
"Why?" he finally asked.
eyebrows in confusion.
"Why what?"
"Why did you become a Death Eater?" he asked as
she slowly moved over to her bed and carefully sat on the end of it, "I
know for a fact that Death Eaters don't care for head girls from Gryffindor
that got prefect marks and were loyal to Dumbledore."
"I had no other choice," she quietly admitted as
she looked at the floor, "I was forced to become one."
"How?" he hissed. Oh how he loathed Death Eaters that forced others to do things
they didn't want to.
Ja'>Jordan kept her eyes trained toward the floor and began to
wish that he'd leave. She was tired of
having to tell her story and how people viewed her as weak when the truth came
out. And part of her felt that Snape
would be disgusted by the things she'd done.
"Just leave," she whispered, "I don't want
to talk about it anymore. You know my
secret now and I'm sure you'll soon join the others in regarding me as nothing
more as a silly twit of a girl that doesn't deserve respect."
trained on.
"I can't," he finally said as he walked to the
recliner that sat in the room's darkest corner, "I want you to tell me
everything."
"Why? Why do
you want me to relive what they did to me and my family?" she hissed out
as she looked over at him, "Is it because you enjoy seeing others in
pain?"
Snape let out a low laugh. "It's true. I'm a
sadist and I love to inflict pain upon the weak," he said as he sat back
in the recliner, "But believe me Jordan, I don't want to hurt you.
happened... how someone like you was forced to become one of them."
She let out a long sigh and concentrated on the carpet
below her feet. She then straightened
up her posture. Jordan knew he wouldn't
leave until she told him the whole torrid story. "You want the long version or the short version," she
bitterly asked.
"That's your decision," he said as he motioned
for her to continue.
Jordan nodded her head and closed her eyes, trying to
think of the best place to start.
"Since you were a Death Eater, you probably know or know of
Alexander and Henry Collins," she said as she opened her eyes and looked
at him.
Snape nodded his head.
Everyone in the magic world knew of Alexander, Henry and the Collins
family for they were ruthless.
Alexander and Henry ruled the family with iron fists and often had
minions that did their dirty work. Most
Death Eaters loathed them but never dared to cross them.
finally said, "Why?"
"They're my uncles," said Jordan as she crossed
her legs in front of her, "My mother, Katherine, was their younger
sister."
"Ah, yes. I
think I heard them talking about her once," mused Snape.
"She was the only good thing that came out of our
family," smiled Jordan as she remembered her mother, "She never
listened to her brothers and often told them she'd follow her own path.
into Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin like her older brothers.
it."
Snape watched as she stood and walked over to the
window. He smiled becatalktalking about
her mother made her blue eyes twinkle with happiness.
"Anyway," she said as she turned from the window
and looked at him, "While in Ravenclaw, my mother fell in love with a
halfblood named Simon Harris. My
parents loved each other very much but they had to keep their relationship a
secret because my mother's family would never accept it.
got married and a year later, I came along."
Jordan smiled again and crossed the room, going back to
her bed. The memories she had of her
childhood and parents were the only happy and normal things she had
anymore. "I was their saving grace,"
she continued, "Once I was born, my grandmother told Alex and Henry to
leave my parents alone. She wanted my
mother to be happy and she was until my grandmother died.
"Their chance for what?" asked Snape as he
leaned forward in the recliner.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I tried to fight them off but I
couldn't. There was just too many of
them," said Jordan as she started to cry, "They used some spell on me
and I couldn't fight. Alex held his
wand to my neck and commanded me to kill my mother."
Jordan buried her face in her hands as her body was racked
with sob after sob. It was painful for
her to talk about and she hated that he had pulled it out of her.
her as her cries continued. He sat
beside her and let his hand travel up and down her back.
"Shh," he whispered.
"I had no other choice," she choked out, "I
looked into my mother's eyes and she told me that she'd always love me and then
I killed her. After her body hit the floor,
I tried to help her but I couldn't. It
was too late. I was hysterical by then
and all I could hear was my mother's voice and all I could smell was her blood
on my clothes. Gods, you must think I'm
awful for killing my own mother."
"I don't," assured Snape, "What happened
then?"
"They took me to some building and locked me in this
room. They said I was one of them now
because I had my mother's blood on my hands.
I remember washing my hands until they were raw and how her image and
scent haunted my senses," said Jordan as she lifted her head up, "I
stayed in the room for days as Alex taunted me with my father's life.
and no one could find him. I... I
finally decided that the only way I would get out of there was to act like one
of them. So I did but I couldn't bring
myself to kill anyone, which upset them even more. That's when they..."
Another sob racked Jordan's body as she started to
shake. "Shh... take your time and
tell me what they did," whispered Snape as he pushed a strand of hair out
of her face.
Jordan looked over at him and he felt his heart almost
break. She looked so lost and so unsure
of herself. "They told me I had to
kill this muggle family, that included children, but I couldn't do it so they
took me back to their headquarters and they beat me with every inch of my
life," said Jordan as she shuddered.
Snape felt his jaw clench at her words.
common sense back and had left the Death Eaters years ago.
way, did they?" he asked.
"No," she said as she shook her head, "I
wasn't pure enough for them to even consider that. I almost died. If the
ministry hadn't raided the house, I wouldn't be here right now."
"I assume that means Alex and Henry are in custody
now?"
Jordan shook her head and pressed her lips together.
while in custody and somehow Alex escaped.
I ended up in the hospital for a month, recovering from my injuries.
me to join the Order, with the promise that no one would know what happened to
me," she said.
"Then how did Molly find out?" questioned Snape.
Jordan turned her head to the side and looked at him.
massaging it. "Because she's a
busy-body and was eavesdropping one day," she explained, "Dumbledore
tried to explain to her what had happened but all she took from the
conversation was the fact that I used to be a Death Eater."
"Figures," he sneered.
"I just wish they'd stop looking at me like I'm some
sort of animal. They haven't even tried
to understand," cried Jordan.
Snape let his hand travel down to the small of her back
and held it there. He looked into her
eyes, which were now puffy and bloodshot from crying, and gave her a small
smile. "Just ignore them," he
said.
"Easier said than done. I just want to be treated
like a normal person," she said.
"You don't have to prove yourself to them and they
shouldn't expect you to," said Snape as he felt Jordan pull closer to
him. She was close enough for him to
feel her warm breath on his lips.
He let his fingers glide to her face and across her
cheek. She smelled so warm and safe to
him as he leaned forward. Jordan
blinked her eyes and started to chew on her bottom lip.
listened to me," she quietly said.
"And I'm all you need," he smirked which made
her grinned. Jordan looked at him for a
moment and let her eyes drop to his lips.
She wondered what it would be like to kiss him.
as Snape ran his fingers down her neck.
She quietly relished in the warmness that his touch
brought to her as she searched his dark eyes.
"Thank you," whispered Jordan, "Thank you for listening
and not running out of here when you found out how awful I am."
"You aren't awful," assured Snape as he gave her
a small smile, "Alas, it's getting late and I need to get back to
Hogwarts."
"Stay," she said as she grabbed his hand,
"The nightmares will come tonight and I don't want to be alone."
Snape frowned.
"I can't. No one is there
to watch the House. But I assure you
that if I didn't have a bunch of hormonal teenagers to watch over, I'd
stay," he said.
Jordan nodded as Snape stood up from the bed.
<
"But if you need anything, don't hesitate to Floo me
or send me a post," said Snape as he held out a hand for her, "Come
here."
Jordan held out her hand and then wrapped her fingers
around his as he pulled her up. They
were merely inches from each other as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms
around her body. She snuggled into him
as his scent, the smell of sage, captured her senses. She closed her eyes so she could burned this memory, of how he
smelled and how he felt wrapped around her, into her mind so she could use it
for comfort later.
"Thank you," she merely said as she pulled away
from him.
"I'll see you soon," said Snape as he softly
touched her face again before apparating. pan>pan>
Jordan
looked around her dark room and sighed to herself. "Goodnight Severus," she said to the room before
climbing into her very empty bed to dream those dark dreams that had captured
her life.
A/N: I like Christmas, don't you?
I think my next chapter is going to take place during Christmas.
other? ^_^