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Maternal Instinct

By: MissSnape
folder Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 35
Views: 37,339
Reviews: 425
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Hermione sighed, "She doesn't waste much time, does she? But that means Ron might not have known anything about it. He could have just ordered the flowers without knowing the potion was on them."

Severus nodded, "It seems that way. I don't understand it; that potion is not one that a person can make without instructions, but it's so unheard of that it's never been put in any potions book; it was very hard of me to find out about it. Amy's family are not well known and nor were the Krum’s before Viktor became famous. Their families aren't very clever either. They shouldn't have been able to find out how to make that potion."

"But they did find out," She sighed tiredly, "and they made it, and they used it on me."

The resignation in her tone made Severus look up. She was very pale, her eyes dark and flat, with a constant wateriness that suggested tears were not far away. The big fluffy dressing gown she was wearing only made her look smaller and so incredibly lost. Severus had never seen a Gryffindor look so defeated.

He could help but notice how beautiful she was once again, but realized that it was the wrong time to be having such thoughts. She was upset, as she had every right to be, and it was clear that she was still scared, even though they almost certainly knew who had given her the potion.

Severus knew that Amy was low - she had proven that quite a few times during their so-called marriage - but he never thought she was that low. He suspected that he was in some sort of shock, because he was angry - very, very angry - but it was a numb feeling, like it hadn't quite sunk in yet. That potion may not have be officially classed as Dark, but Severus had read about it and, now that he knew the amount of damage it could cause, he knew that - officially or not - it was Dark.

But, looking at Hermione again, Severus realized that perhaps he was too worried to be able to feel truly angry yet. His subconscious seemed to have chosen looking after Hermione over going after Amy and Viktor - and Weasley, of course, for being so stupid as to get flowers from Amy's shop - and killing them.

Hermione rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, "Where's Corrin? She must have been terrified..."

Severus put the paper on the sofa beside him and wrapped his arms around her, "She's still at Hogwarts; I think Albus is trying to explain what's going on. She will be fine once she sees you."

"Mmm, I hope so. I... I'd feel terrible if it upset her too much. She shouldn't have seen that." She said softly.

Stroking her hair, Severus sighed, "It shouldn't have happened at all. Weasley should never have got his flowers from Amy and Amy should never have been able to get her hands on that potion."

Hermione leaned into him, her voice only a thread of sound, "I don't understand Amy; I really don't. She was always complaining to me that Corrin took up all of her time - even though she employed me to look after her - and that you neglected her... Now, she doesn't have to look after Corrin, you've divorced her and she's married to a celebrity! What more does she want? What have I done that would make her do this to me? I think I did her a favor, if she found being married to you as bad as she made it out to be."

"It would never have been as bad as she made it out to be." He said sternly, his hatred of Amy growing by the second.

Hermione made a quiet sound of amusement, "I felt sorry for her... once. I think. It's hard to remember if I ever regarded her without pity. I don't think she had a lot of love from her parents... She wanted me to come back one weekend while she went out, but it was my mum’s birthday so I couldn’t, and I told Amy that. She sneered and told me to see if she cared what I did when I had a day off... I thought it was a strange reply, but I thought on it and realized that she sounded jealous..."

As she laughed quietly and shook her head against his shoulder, Severus found that Amy had never mention anything about her family to him before. Ever. He sighed, "I find parents over-rated."

"Mmm..." She made a noise of partial agreement; "My parents are lovely, although they do expect rather a lot of me... But I don't think I would have been able to put up with Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, and their obsession with my blood if I didn't feel the pressure from my parents; they would have wanted me to do well if I went to a muggle school, but because it was Hogwarts - because it was magic - they wanted me to be... the best."

There was more than a trace of sarcasm in her last words and Severus knew she was tired, and that her upset would, at some point, probably give way to anger. He was just about to suggest that she go back to bed and sleep again, when the front door clicked open. There was the sound of wind rushing through the house, then of feet running.

Hermione sat up, pulling away from him slowly, as Corrin skidded into the room, followed closely by Albus who was as composed as ever, though a great deal graver.

Both men watched as the little girl leaped onto the sofa and burrowed as close to Hermione as she could possibly get, mumbling things that only the woman could hear.

"Ssh," Hermione stroked her hair, "Don't be silly. I'm fine. I know you were scared, Sweetie, but you were so brave! You did so well!" Corrin whispered something else and Hermione nodded, "Of course I will. Come on."

Corrin jumped from the sofa and - while Hermione got up slowly - wrapped her arms around Severus' waist, "I'm going to play with Hermione now. See you later, daddy."

His hand brushed the top of her hair briefly, almost of its own accord, before she hurried out of the room and up the stairs. He carefully grasped Hermione's arm when she was near enough and drew her close to him.

"What?" She sighed.

Severus frowned, "You're meant to be resting."

Hermione glared at him, "I do not need to rest. I am fed up of resting. If I am told to rest one more time I will be forced to commit murder." Then she looked slightly confused, her eyes blank as if she was looking inwards even though they were fixed on him. She shook her head, saying quietly, "I don't feel tired. I feel... empty."

As she followed Corrin, Albus put his hand on Severus' shoulder. "I can feel your frustration and anger, Severus, but I just hope that you take it out on the right people and not Hermione. She has had a hard time since her first miscarriage and, what with Mr. Weasley leaving so quickly because of his own grief, I do not believe she was really able to come to terms with it. Losing another two children will have been hard enough on her, without the fact that she had to - or want of a better word - abort a baby that would have died anyway and left her with four miscarriages."

The old wizard pushed Severus gently towards the sofa and they sat down, then he went on: "It may be hard for you to understand, Severus - I know that you have never had any particular desire for a family - and I do not presume to be able to interpret the female psyche competently, but I believe that taking the potion to save herself from a fourth miscarriage distressed Hermione more than the miscarriage would have, had she not taken the potion. I also have a feeling that she is angry with herself. With her body for not doing what the female body evolved to be able to do - to carry on the human race, to bear children. She is hurting, Severus, and she needs to be allowed time to heal, but she also needs to make sure that she doesn't become to consumed in unhealthy grief; I think Corrin will help with that. That girl has a strong presence - the presence of a child - and that should distract Hermione enough, until she feels naturally better." He smiled kindly, understandingly, "But I know you, Severus. You love her - I am more certain of that than of anything - but I know that you get frustrated easily. She knows that as well, but she is not thinking about it now, obviously. In fact, I doubt she will be thinking properly for a few weeks yet, if not longer. You need to try and be patient with her."

""""""""""""""""""""

Hermione turned Corrin's bedroom light off and closed the door slightly. Slowly, she went down stairs. She was tired and every limb was aching, but she really didn't care. Nothing really seemed to matter at that moment.

And especially not people telling her to rest.

Looking around the living room, she sighed and then began the task of tidying up - Corrin seemed to have got out every toy she possessed. Hermione didn't mind though; tidying up gave her something to do, made her feel like she was a use to someone, able to do something.

Finally, she sent every doll or toy up to pile themselves silently in Corrin’s room. Then, after taking a Dreamless Sleep potion, she settled herself on the sofa in front of the fire, just staring, until at last she fell asleep.
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