The Inadequate Life

Grawp swung the tree again, and two Death Eaters sailed headlong into four others. A half-dozen already lay unconscious, and Grawp had only stepped out of his hiding place five seconds earlier.

The sight of Grawp, roaring as he swung a half-meter thick tree like it was a twig, was enough to make the mass of Death Eaters that had survived Fred and George’s gauntlet scatter. Every time one of them started chanting a curse, Grawp would reorient on them with surprising speed, completely breaking their concentration—and often breaking body parts as well. The few Curses or Hexes that did manage to hit him could do no more than sting his skin or lightly burn him—which just made him angrier.

Hagrid was right there with Grawp, a massive redwood branch in one hand and a wand in the other. Harry had had a wand made to match the specifications of Hagrid’s first wand—oak, sixteen inches, rather bendy—that had been broken when he’d been expelled from Hogwarts, just for this occasion. Hagrid certainly wasn’t showing any signs of having forgotten how to spell-cast—which only made sense, considering that he’d hidden the pieces of his wand in his pink umbrella and had used it illegally for years.

The advantage Grawp had in size and strength, Hagrid made up for in the ability to cast hexes. He also was a good bit better at staying aware of what was around him, so he dodged all of the curses that came his way instead of getting hit and ignoring them. Grawp and Hagrid together cut a deadly swath through the Death Eaters, dividing their ranks in two and sending them off in small clusters in both directions up and down Diagon Alley.

A clutch of four Death Eaters ran toward Madam Malkin’s Robes For All Occasions. Before they could even react, a pair of Stunning Spells flew out of the alley beside the shop, felling two of them. The other two ducked, and one tossed off a Reductor Curse at Lavender and Parvati, who’d fired the Stunning Spells. Lavender shrieked and ducked as the Curse missed her and broke apart the wall behind her.

Before the girls could collect themselves, the last of the four Death Eaters raised his wand, with a clear view of Parvati. He started mouthing the words for the Killing Curse… and a red blur zoomed down out of the sky. Alicia, traveling at seventy Kilometers an hour on her brand new Firebolt Mk II, nevertheless hurled her weapon with the accuracy of a brilliant Quidditch Chaser. The object struck the ground directly in between the two remaining Death Eaters and exploded, tossing them in different directions. But rather than landing heavily, the Death Eaters bounced off the ground, the sides of buildings, and other Death Eaters, until they finally came to rest, mildly broken, severely bruised and very unconscious.

Death Eaters were all across Diagon Alley by then, and were experiencing similar encounters. There were frightened shouts, and fingers and wands pointed at the sky, but Angelina, Alicia and Katie were moving far too fast to be struck with the hexes thrown their way—not to mention that each girl had years of experience dodging Bludgers and other Quidditch players. And in the meantime, more Death Eaters ended up bouncing into unconsciousness.

“Levicorpus!” Susan shouted, standing from her hiding place. A Death Eater twisted upside down with a yelp, his wand flying out of his hand. Another Death Eater threw a Curse at Susan, but she’d already ducked back behind the short stone wall she’d been using to hide. Hannah leapt up the second the Death Eater’s curse had flown over their heads, the words of the Bat-Bogey Hex already on her lips. The Death eater dropped his wand and swatted ineffectively at the enormous winged bogeys attacking his face.

“Well done,” Susan chuckled as Hannah dropped back behind the wall. “I’ll finish him!”

She raised up to cast a Stunning Hex—and found another Death Eater with his wand pointed straight at her. The shock froze her for a second too long.

“Avada Kedavra!”

*****

Hannah’s scream drew the attention of Oliver, who’d been peering the other way down Diagon Alley from his hiding place. His head whipped around just in time to see Susan fall. “FUCK!” he shouted. “Angelina, Flourish & Blott’s!”

Angelina had already seen. Enraged, she dove on the Death Eater, one of Fred and George’s “grenades” already in her hand. She threw it with so much force that when it struck the Death Eater in the head, the explosion sent him tumbling end over end through the air until he collided head-first with the magical instruments shop across the street. He fell to the ground, clearly not going to getting up again soon—if ever.

*****

Sobbing, Hannah clutched Susan against her, rocking on her heels. “Susan,” she moaned, wake up! Y-You have to wake up!”

Remembering her necklace, Hannah gulped down her tears, pulled Susan tight against her and shouted “St. Mungo’s!”

She appeared in the foyer of St. Mungo’s Hospital, taken there by one of the Portkeys around her neck. Two Medi-Witches jumped in shock at the sudden appearance. “Wh-wh-” one of them stammered.

“Sh-she’s hurt,” Hannah cried pleadingly, trying to hold up Susan’s limp body. “You h-have to help her!”

The women rushed over and dropped to their knees, pulling out their wands to run diagnostic spells. One of them put her hand on Susan’s chest. “She’s not breathing!” she gasped. “What happened?”

“D-Death Eaters,” Hannah stammered, and every head in the foyer turned and stared at her. “Th-th-they cast the K-Killing Curse!”

The two Medi-Witches gaped at Hannah. “Miss,” one of them said finally, her voice filled with tenderness, “if that’s true… I’m afraid that there’s nothing we can do.”

“NO!” Hannah shouted furiously. “Don’t say it! She’s not! You can Heal her! You’re medi-witches, it’s what you’re for!” She shoved the woman back down next to Susan. “Heal her!” she demanded. “Heal her now!” When the woman just looked up at her helplessly, her eyes full of pity, Hannah snapped. “Ollivander’s!”

Another of Hannah’s Portkeys transported her into Ollivander’s boarded-up, empty shop. She ran to the door, kicked it open and stepped out to see two Death Eaters headed away from her. “Bombarda!” she shouted, and the two men were blasted halfway across the street. Before they could drag themselves up, Hannah was on them, pointing her wand down at their backs. “Bombarda!” she shouted again, and they were slammed hard into the ground. “Bombarda!”

The fight was raging around Hannah, but she didn’t even notice. By then the two Death Eaters were unconscious, and the spell wasn’t doing enough damage to satisfy her. “Crucio!” she shouted—but there was no effect. “Crucio, Crucio! AVADA KEDAVRA!”

Nothing. Hannah fell to her knees, dropped her head to the ground and howled.

*****

Oliver saw Hannah struck by an errant Disorienting Hex. Already on the ground, she barely slumped over. “Krum, Ollivander’s!” he snapped into his magical walkie-talkie. “Hannah’s down!”

The Death Eater nearest Hannah had spotted her. Raising his wand, he grinned nastily and opened his mouth…

Krum, flying even faster than any of the girls, rocketed out of nowhere. Hidden as he was by an Invisibility Cloak, a rippled blur went past the startled Death Eater—and suddenly he wasn’t holding his wand any more. He had just enough time to register shock before Sally-Ann leveled a Stunning Spell at him and he dropped, unconscious. Oliver watched Hannah from his vantage point, and after a moment she shimmered, and disappeared. Oliver nodded with relief and returned his attention to the fight, moving back up Diagon Alley under his own Invisibility Cloak so he could get around unnoticed. Either Cho or Justin had taken Hannah to St. Mungo’s.

*****

George pressed the activation button on one of the “grenades” he’d been carrying and lobbed it over his head. It hit and exploded well back of the group of seven Death Eaters near his and George’s hiding place, but by now every one of the participants in the battle knew what those explosions meant. The Death Eaters backed away hurriedly so as not to be caught in the shockwave—and backed right into Fred and George. “Levicorpus!” Fred shouted, just as George called out “Bombarda!” The yelp from the Death Eater who found himself upside down distracted the other six Death Eaters long enough for George’s spell to blast three of them off their feet.

The other three fired Curses back at Fred and George, who ducked back into the doorway they’d been using as protection. The four downed Death Eaters all struggled to regain their feet, but the three who were still up were trouble enough…

ZOOM went a red blur, and the three Death Eaters found themselves clutching empty air instead of wands—Angelina had just raced past, and evidently cast a Disarming Hex. Fred and George took advantage and tossed off two more Bombardas, followed by a series of Stunning Spells. When they were certain all seven of the Death Eaters were unconscious, they ducked back into their hiding place to consider their next move.

Fred looked up at another BOOM, and grinned as Angelina flew off, leaving three bouncing Death Eaters in her wake. “Bloody hell, she’s magnificent,” he said.

George winced as one of the Death Eaters bounced right into the front wall of Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes, leaving broken boards on their storefront. “Our poor shop,” he moaned. “Do you think our insurance covers bouncing Death Eaters?”

“Seems like an allowable business expense to me,” Fred decided with a shrug. “As soon as we figure out how to package the bouncing effect as a pill or potion and market it to the thrill-seeking wizard, we’ve got it made. Now come on, it’s too cold to stand still for long.”

*****

“LOOK OUT!” Lee yelped, and grabbed Luna by the back of her collar. He yanked her back behind the wall of Quality Quidditch Supplies just before a trio of Death Eaters, on the run from Grawp—who was still swinging his tree and showed no signs of tiring—could blast her out of their way.

“Thank you, Lee,” Luna said affably. “I think a Trip Jinx is appropriate, don’t you?”

Grinning, Lee nodded. He and Luna leveled their wands, and the second the Death Eaters were in sight they both shouted the incantation. With startled cries, the front two Death Eaters fell on their faces, their legs bound by unseen magic. The third did a little hop, skip and jump to avoid tripping over the other two, but by the time he’d gotten past them, Luna and Lee had both adjusted their aim to him. Lee cast the Tripping Jinx again, but Luna had other ideas and called out “Levicorpus!”

The result was that the two spells whipped the Death Eater upside down so fast that his head slammed into the cobbles. “Oops,” Lee said, wincing as the already-unconscious Death Eater twisted upside down.

“Well, it was rather more effective than either of those spells on its own,” Luna said reasonably. “Oh look, Grawp’s caught them up…”

The giant had reached the Death Eaters. The two who’d only been tripped had managed to counter the Jinxes, but they couldn’t get to their feet in time—Grawp swung his tree, and the men dropped like stones. Grawp then noticed the unconscious Death Eater hanging in the air. He grabbed the man around the waist with one enormous hand and pulled down—the spell resisted, and Grawp snarled, pulling harder. There was a sickening crack as the man’s ankle broke, and then the jinx actually gave way to Grawp’s incredible strength; the giant lifted the Death Eater this way and that, and when he determined that the man was no longer a threat, he tossed the limp body over his shoulder and stomped off looking for more targets.

Lee and Luna stared at the Death Eater. He was bleeding from his head, and his leg was definitely not bending the right direction. “I think I’m going to be sick,” Lee mumbled.

Even Luna’s usually unflappable demeanor wasn’t holding up. “I think we should take him to St. Mungo’s,” she said softly.

“Let us,” said a voice behind them, making them jump. Cho and Justin’s heads appeared as they lowered the hoods of their Invisibility Cloaks. “We’ll get him to the hospital,” Cho told them. “You two go fight.”

Nodding gratefully, Luna and Lee rushed off to rejoin the battle. Cho went over to the fallen Death Eater and looked him over. “He’s got a bad head injury, and a broken ankle—probably a broken leg too,” she said, reaching into her leather sash and pulling out a tube without even looking. “I’m going to give him a Blood Replenishing Potion, and then we should let the Healers at St. Mungo’s deal with his head.”

Justin nodded and waited while Cho pried the man’s mouth open and poured in the potion. He went to help her lift the man for transport, but movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention—a clutch of four or five Death Eaters were being driven back in their direction by Lupin, Tonks, McGonagall and Padma, and one of the fliers—Katie, he thought—was stooping to take them out with one of Fred and George’s “grenades”.

“Look out!” He cried, and grabbed at Cho; “St. Mungo’s!” he yelled, it being the place most prevalent in his mind, and the two of them vanished.

There were more shrieks from the Medi-Witches in the foyer of St. Mungo’s when Justin and Cho appeared. “Justin!” Cho snapped angrily. “Why did you do that?”

“There—there were Death Eaters coming,” Justin said, shocked by Cho’s reaction. “I was just—”

“Don’t coddle me!” Cho shouted at him. “I saw them too, and I’m perfectly capable of getting away myself! We have a job to do! Don’t yank me away unless there’s no other choice!”

One of the Medi-Witches, who’d been watching the argument with huge eyes, spoke up; “Cho? Is—is that you?”

“Yes it’s me, Melinda,” Cho said in a calmer voice. “We’re going to be bringing you a patient in a moment—a Death Eater with a bad head injury and broken leg and ankle. I’ve given him a blood-replenishing potion already.”

Wide-eyed, the woman called Melinda nodded. “Sh-should we be expecting m-more?” she stammered. “W-we’ve already had the three, but you left too fast last time to ask…”

“I suspect you’ll have a lot more Death Eater patients before long,” Cho told her. “As for Hannah and poor Susan … offer up a prayer that there are no more like them.” She turned and glared at Justin. “Well? Are you coming?” she demanded. “Eeylops!” And she vanished.

Justin grimaced. He was a realist at heart—and he knew a prayer wouldn’t be enough. “Eeylops,” he said, following Cho back to the battle.

*****

The Death Eater was too close to Lupin, and his wand was already pointing at Lupin’s head, giving him no time to get his wand around. With a growl, Lupin lashed out his right arm; his elbow smashed into the Death Eater mask, cracking it and breaking the man’s nose behind it. The man toppled back with a cry of pain, and Lupin finished him with a Stunning Spell.

Tonks finished dispatching the Death Eater she’d been dueling with, and grabbed Lupin’s right arm. “Hold still, Remus!” she demanded as he bared his teeth at her.

Blinking, Remus came back to himself. “Tonks? Um, sorry…I got carried away.”

“And you know I love it when you go all feral,” Tonks replied with a lascivious smirk. “Now hold still, I think your elbow’s broken.”

“What?” Lupin looked at his elbow and Tonks prodded it with his wand. He hadn’t noticed until that moment, but there was definitely a dull throb coming from around the spot where he’d shattered that mask…

”Tonks tapped his elbow with her wand and muttered a Healing Charm, and his elbow felt instantly better. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, flexing his arm experimentally.

“If you two are quite finished flirting,” McGonagall said sharply, stepping over the fallen body of another Death Eater, “I think there are still quite a few more Death Eaters to deal with.”

Lupin flushed slightly. Tonks grinned and opened her mouth, but before she could, Padma, who’d been fighting with McGonagall, spoke; “Um, is it my imagination… or is it getting a lot colder all of a sudden?”

Everyone hesitated. Until Padma had pointed it out, they’d been too busy to notice. But Tonks’ breath was visible in the air, and windows were clouding with ice particles even as they watched. “Oh, bloody HELL,” McGonagall swore.

“Dementors,” Lupin growled.