AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Inadequate Life

by metafrantic

schedule August 27, 2020 at 12:00 AM

Metafrantic - thanks for a well crafted AU story about how the War against Voldemort could have ended.  Tons of creativity, with a generous helping of the 'spice' that makes life worth living thrown in.  The editing was generally better than many stories on this site (nobody is perfect), which made the series very readable.  There was a point where I thought the various plots and subplots were getting a little to complicated to successfully pull together at the end, but you did it without leaving any major holes.

I've said in other reviews of other stories, that one of the most difficult things to do is to write compelling and natural sounding dialogue.  There were plenty of places where the conversations were a little stilted and unnatural sounding, but many more where it worked very well.  Good on ya!

When it comes to the 'spice of life' (SEX), that is also difficult to write about convincingly.  One thing to be avoided is becoming to repetitious when describing various acts, even if there are only so many ways and combinations that one (or more) can do them.  It's hard to keep things sounding fresh, exciting, and exhilarating when you use the same language again and again.  Something to look at and consider if and when you ever review your own work.

That all said, a thoroughly enjoyable read.

 

person Anon
schedule July 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I must say that you gave your story an ending more worthy than The deathly hallows.
it's been a fantastic story and I'm glad you ended it just as well.
Well, I do not know what else to say now.. Good luck with your life.. I hope you write a lot more stories..

I'm looking forward to them.
schedule July 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That's brilliant! And I shall kill you if any of what was in your story is in the Deathly Hallows.....LOL. Well done fine effort!
schedule July 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
BRAVO!!!!! very well done......i LOVED it!!!!! it had a good ending....i look forward to your future stories.
person kodiac
schedule July 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
that was a great story will ther be more
schedule July 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I've been reading for awhile, and I've refrained from reviewing, but I have to speak up now.

You, my friend, have created a wonderful piece of fanfiction. I found it while trying to find some well-written smut, and you know, you delivered that as well. The sexy bits were nicely done, if gratuitous, but really, they didn't detract from the whole of the plot, which was done amazingly. I salute you, and sincerely hope that you keep writing.
person MrGalion
schedule July 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
truely astonding i wanted to reread it and it is awsome.
I will and have told friends about you and liked this story so much.
No matter what the 7th book says I will continue to recomend your stories and I will continue to read them.
Your stories are what makes it all worth while. Thank you for your awsome perserverence and wonderful writting skills to produce truely remarkible peice of art and tale.

MR. GALWYRD GALION
schedule July 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
A masterpiece. You can't see me, but I'm giving you a standing ovation. Excellent command, coordination and control. I've read a million pages of Buffy fic, and a half-million of HP, and this is the best I've ever read. Congratulations; the only problem is that it's not original. If you could write something original of this quality, it would have to be totally publishable. Thanks for your incredible work, and that of your beta. I look forward to your next story.
person Olwen
schedule July 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Love it!!! Great quote too. I've been wondering at the title choice. I'm almost dreading JK's version now because this was so satisfying.
schedule July 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hah!! I was just about to log off and go to bed. I checked earlier tonight, but there was nothing, and now I actually started my server up again, just to check again... and here are the completed reminding chapters.

Well there's nothing to it, just print it and go read in bed :)