The Death of a Soul

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Chapter Twenty Eight

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When he had awoke this morning, Harry somehow knew that this day was going to be different from all the other torturous days he had had to endure since that fateful morning of being told of the Life-Debt. Harry knew something just as bad - if not worse - was going to happen to him. It suddenly occurred to Harry that this feeling of ‘knowing’ reminded him of someone else, and how she had known that something terrible was going to happen between them.

And like Ginny Weasley, Harry didn’t know how he knew this – he just knew. He could feel it.


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As soon as Harry had slammed the bedroom door behind him, he saw a small movement out of the corner of his eye. He spun his head towards the hovering broom, and then proceeded to storm out of his quarters without giving it a second glance. He barely heard the thousand pieces of wood exploding in mid-air. In fact, Harry was so blinded by hatred and anger, that he never even noticed the way passing students had cowered against the dungeon walls, or the ones who had looked away just so they wouldn’t have to meet his piercing glare. Of course, Harry wouldn’t have seen them anyway. His mind was lost and spinning out of control. This day was becoming the worst day of his life, and it was only mid-afternoon.

Trying to sort out his thoughts, Harry began the long journey of climbing up the marble staircase. He had to calm down or he’d go mad. Half-way up, he thought his plan had worked. But then Harry replayed the events that had already occurred today in his head:

Ron’s icy stare and his cold words. Hermione’s shocked expression when Harry had sneered angrily at her. The fist that had struck him so fast and so hard that he had fallen to the ground almost the instant it was given. The scream of sheer terror that came from Hermione as Harry looked down his wand, and aimed it straight at Ron’s forehead.

But none of it, none of it, was as traumatic as the biting words he had heard next.

“Is Snape still training you, or is Voldemort?”

Those eight words alone had pierced Harry straight through his heart. His fury was replaced with another powerful emotion. Absolute fear. Fear of himself. Harry blinked and had stood there frozen in time as those words sank deep into the depths of his soul.

Harry's body refused to move at first, but then slowly, ever so slowly, he took a step back. Then another. Then another. Then Harry ran. He ran away so fast from his two best friends that he didn’t even realise he had entered the forbidden forest till it was too late. Harry had stumbled over tree trunks, bushes, and rocks, and had bruised several parts of his anatomy as he smacked into several trees. Finally incapable of taking another step, Harry collapsed against the closest tree, and tumbled to the ground. He instantly pulled his legs into his chest, tucked his head between his folded arms, and tried to make him disappear from the face of the earth.

It was the sound of crackling leaves that had pulled Harry back to the present. He didn’t have to look up to know who it was, but instinctively, Harry jumped to his feet, wand drawn. Draco Malfoy stood before him with his wand out, pointing straight at Harry’s heart. At first Harry was furious that the blond had followed him, but with a brief exchange of words, Harry no longer cared. He didn’t care about anything at that point. He just wanted his life to be over and done with.

For some odd reason that didn’t sit well with Malfoy.

“You know Potter, the only one who’s abandoned you is you… Just what the fuck are you going to do when all of this is over? Crawl under a rock and hide like the coward you are?”

That hit Harry hard. Even harder than Ron’s cold implication. And then Malfoy spoke again.

“Did you have to let it destroy who you are in the process?”

Harry had to pause on the staircase because his knees had given out. He slid down a few steps, and then sat there staring absently at the moving stairs below.

“I don’t even care if I live or die! In fact I honestly wish that Voldemort was here right now so he could hurry up and end my pathetic life!”

Harry shuddered, remembering. He really didn’t care.

“Everyone forgot that I was in love... It was like she never even existed… I loved her so much.”

Harry’s glasses began to slide down his face so he removed them, and wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.

“I loved her so much.”

That was the first time Harry spoke of Ginny Weasley - and his love for her. He had revealed his deepest secret to the one person that he had thought cared the least for him: Draco Malfoy, the son of a Death Eater, and his long-time rival. For a brief moment, Harry welcomed the idea that Malfoy was secretly working for Voldemort, and that his miserable life would soon be over. But in only one gesture of a comforting arm, Harry knew his confession wasn’t a regretful one.

Malfoy had calmed Harry down with soft words of reassurance, and instead of repelling against Malfoy and his intimate embrace, a warm feeling of genuine tenderness and security swept over Harry. He knew it wasn’t love, far from it in fact, but the power of the other boy’s compassion was there nonetheless, and he had allowed himself to be pulled for a tight embrace. There was something familiar about this. Something Harry couldn’t place.

In that moment, nothing, save Harry and Draco Malfoy, existed in the forbidden forest. For the first time, Harry had felt the heavy burden that had been sitting on his shoulders, lifted. Instinctively, Harry leant into the young wizard, and gently pressed his cheek against Malfoy’s. His lips moved of their own accord, and caressed them against Draco's jaw. Slowly he brought them forward to a soft and compliant mouth. Harry could feel the blond’s breath on his own, and anxiously awaited for some sort of response.

What Harry didn’t expect was to be pushed away…

Harry had meant it to only be a caring and an innocent kiss. He had poured his heart out to Malfoy, accepted his warm and caring touch of comfort, and in return he was turned away. But why? What had he done wrong? Didn’t Malfoy feel the same energy that had passed between them? He acted as if nothing had happened between the two of them, and then left him standing outside the Quidditch changing room. Whether it was the Gryffindor or the Slytherin in Harry, he was determined to find out why.

Once inside, and standing in front of a furious Draco Malfoy, he was hit with the harsh reality.

“What the fuck don’t you understand, Potter? You’re married! Do you understand that? You're fucking married! Maybe that doesn’t bother you, but it does me!”

Harry’s face flushed crimson as he remembered. And now that he was finally able to reflect on the moment, Harry wondered why it was so important to him to confront Malfoy. Harry wasn’t gay so why did he try to kiss him? Why did he feel compelled to look at Malfoy’s nakedness? Harry couldn’t stand looking at his own husband’s body, so why did it feel different when he looked at Malfoy's? Was it that Harry was just appalled by the fact that it was his husband’s body, and not per se' a male’s body?

“And don’t ever come near me again.”

Harry closed his eyes tightly as Malfoy's words tore at his heart, and how the blond had begged him to leave. He had toyed with Malfoy's emotions - brought upon by his own selfishness.

The sounds of the boy’s cries of anguish still echoed in Harry's mind. And his soul.

Harry slowly pulled himself to his feet, and started back up the stairs. His legs were just as unsteady as his emotions, but he had to keep moving. He didn’t know why, only that he had to.

“Please, Harry. Let me help you. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on. Tell me what you want.”

Harry's muscles seized. His fingers gripped the banister.

“Tell me what you want.”

Harry didn’t tell Snape what he wanted – he showed him. He showed him in the most brutal way. Harry would have never imagined himself to be that cruel. That heartless.

“Did you have to let it destroy who you are in the process?”

Harry spun around and raced down the staircase so fast that his legs were but a blur. He knew what he had to do now. He had to destroy the one thing that would set him free.

Himself … Or Voldemort.


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Severus felt it first. It was a powerful surge of energy, and it seemed like it shook the entire castle. Snape bolted from the dungeons just as another bout of energy erupted. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the location. The fourth floor.

Snape ran as fast as a young, agile youth would have. He had to get to Harry before anyone else could. Barely out of breath, he reached the fourth floor, and stopped to listen. He knew was so close but he could hear nothing but the sound of his own pounding heart.

BOOM!

Snape stumbled backwards, being so close to the shock wave. He quickly regained his bearings, and started banging on the wall.

“Harry, damn you! What are you doing in there? Let me in!”

BOOM!

Snape caught himself this time before falling. He screamed louder.

“You ignorant child! What the bloody hell are you trying to prove? Just how insane you are?”

The wall opened up and Severus flew forward, landing on his hands and knees. Gingerly, he stood, trying to keep his composure, and calmly brushed off the dirt that had come from the filthy floor. As he waved the dust from his face, he looked around the large room. Pieces of dead animals were scattered everywhere, and blood drizzled down the walls. His eyes finally landed on Harry.

Harry was standing in the corner, wand gripped tightly. His face was pale, and his expression was neutral save the pressed-thin lips. Harry’s body was as still as a statuette. Snape narrowed his eyes confused, and took a step towards him. In a flash of an eye, Severus was slammed against the wall.

Shaking off the curse, Snape looked over at Harry. The boy hadn't moved.

“You said I couldn’t hurt you,” Harry said flatly. “You lied.”

“Harry, I …”

SLAM!

“Damn it, Harry! Will you stop?” Snape cried as he pushed himself away from the wall.

“Admit it. You lied.”

“I didn’t lie! It was our wedding day and…”

SLAM!

Snape slid down the wall, coughing.

“So,” Harry began slowly. “You're saying that we were unable to hurt each other because it was our wedding day? Is that right?”

Snape winced, anticipating another curse, but then nodded when none came.

“I see,” Harry drawled. “So if I really wanted to, I could kill you now.”

Severus’s eyes widened for an instant, and looked at Harry in horror. “You… you wouldn’t,” he said, lowering his voice to hide his uncertainty.

A dark smile of amusement crossed Harry’s lips, and his eyes twinkled, but he said nothing. Blinking once, Harry looked around, and motioned about the room.

“Like it? I think I’m ready,” Harry smirked. He spun back around to Snape who was now leaning on the wall, holding his ribs. “What do you think?”

Snape sneered at him. “I think you're mad.”

Harry pressed the tip of his wand under his chin, and looked up at the ceiling. “Hmm. You may be right.” He looked back over to Snape, and grinned. “But I still think I’m ready.” His grin turned into an evil smirk. “Would you like to test me?”

Snape nodded once. “Gladly.”

With a mere flick of the man’s wrist, everything vanished. Harry arched a brow.

“Impressive.”

“You're not the only one whose powers have excelled,” Snape said confidently, now standing tall and rigid.

“Well, then. Shall we?”

No sooner than the words had left Harry's mouth, that they both had cried, “EXPELLIARMUS!”

The curse ricochetted off each other, and within a moment’s breath, the once vacant room was filled with barriers that they could shield themselves behind. More disarming spells were tried before switching to the more powerful and complex ones. Bolts of red streams of light filled the air, along with bright violet sparks that rained down from the ceiling.

Harry maneuvered between obstacles, trying to find the ‘perfect shot’, but Snape was too quick for that. He had anticipated every one of Harry’s moves, and deflected each of his curses with ease. Finally, a loud “EVANESCO” was heard, and the statuette Harry was hiding behind vanished, leaving him unprotected and vulnerable.

“PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!” Severus screamed.

Harry fell to the floor with a thud, arm raised in mid-motion for his next spell. Snape straighten, and began circling his prone husband.

“So, Potter,” he said with an amused sneer. “Ready to do battle with the Dark Lord, are you? Believe that you are such a powerful wizard that you can do it on your own? May I remind you what happened the last time you had illusions of grandeur?”

Though Harry’s body was frozen, an enormous fire raged through his veins as he listened to Snape taunt him.

Snape crouched down beside him. “There you were, standing in the open field, facing Voldemort. Alone,” he hissed. “So brave you were… So foolish!” he snapped, rising to his feet.

“You almost got yourself killed, you idiot! Do you not remember? If I was not there to save you, Mr Potter, they would have renamed you the boy-who-was-stupid-enough-to-get-himself-killed!”

Harry’s leg twitched. He was fighting the body-binding curse!

“Did you honestly think that your anger was enough to defeat him? It wasn’t!” Severus broke eye contact and began pacing. “All you had to do was give your body to me. Was that too much to ask?” He stopped short, and glared down at Harry. “Having a solid status in the Wizarding World doesn’t matter to me anymore. Being married to the saviour doesn’t matter.” Snape leaned over Harry. “All I want now is you. Body and soul.”

Harry’s eyes narrowed but Snape didn’t see it. He had already turned away.

“I was even willing to share you just to make you happy,” Severus whispered, his back still to Harry. “With Malfoy or even,” he paused to look over his shoulder. “Miss Weas-...”

“EXPELLIARMUS!”

Snape flew six feet in the air, and landed with a crack against a stone figurine.

“How DARE you speak her name!” Harry shouted, standing tall and free of the curse. Snape tried to pull himself up. “EXPELLIARMUS!”

Snape's breath stopped as his head slammed against the wall. He slid down, leaving a bloody trail.

“Don’t you EVER mention her again! EVER!”

Snape wearily looked up.

“CRUCIO!”

Snape howled as his body spasmed under the Unforgivable Curse, and his arms and legs flayed wildly like a fish deprived of water. His head shook side to side, and blood flew out of his mouth. Snape's eyes rolled in the back of his head, and Harry finally released him. Snape continued to twitch, and instantly began coughing up blood.

“Did you think I was going to sit by, and watch you ruin my life?” Harry screamed. “And now you want my SOUL?” He approached Snape, wand still at the ready. “Well, you can bloody well have it because it’s already dead! You killed it!”

Snape's body instinctively curled within itself as he continued to cough. His eyes fluttered open but everything was one giant blur. He tried blinking to focus, but still couldn’t see through the thick pool of tears. Snape tried to shake off the pain in his head, having being exposed to this particular curse before, but the intensity of this one was different. It was stronger. Stronger than he had ever experienced. The boy was powerful. For the first time, Snape could feel death’s presence.

Mentally, Snape examined his body. A few broken ribs. Possibly a ruptured spleen. And definitely a concussion. His eyes locked with a smug-looking Harry Potter standing a few feet away. Harry crouched down and smirked.

“So, Severus,” Harry said calmly. “Still think I’m not ready?” He looked up and down Snape's body. “Not sure about you, but I know I am.”

Harry slowly rose to his feet and turned, walking away.

“Now. There’s only one thing left to do.” Harry spun around, wand pointing at Severus’s heart.

“AVADA KED-…”

“EXPELLIARMUS!” shouted three voices at once.

Harry flew eight feet back as if a cannonball had hit him in the chest. Several loud snaps were heard as he struck the cold stone wall. Harry’s body crumpled to the ground, landing in pile of pulverised flesh. Two figures stood over his body - wands still raised - and the third figure that was still bunched up against the far wall, lowered his.

Unconscious and brutalised, Harry Potter was miraculously still alive.


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