Marriage Law Madness

Sorry it took so long to update! Moving internationally was a definite time taker. I am now back at school in the USA, and am putting all the handwritten chapters in the computer!

~~~~

“Have a good first day of term. See you tonight, alright?” Severus hugged Hermione tightly. Several of the other students on Platform 9 ¾ stared at their potions master as if he had grown a second head. “Oh, wait a minute.” He extracted a few Galleons from his pocket. “For lunch on the train,” he explained. It had made sense to have her ride the train back, that way he could spend the day with Molly and could just Apparate back in time for the third sorting feast of the year.

“Bye, Dad.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He hugged her again and Apparated back to St. Mungo’s, leaving her to find herself a carriage on the Hogwarts Express.

~~~
Later that afternoon….

Severus sat at Molly’s bedside, sipping a cup of strong black coffee. “Molly, what are we going to do if the girl who is available for adoption gets put in my house? We absolutely cannot take another one.”

“I hope someone else gets her, but if she goes in your house we are taking her, we’ll manage somehow. This is a child we are talking about here, not an unwanted puppy.” Molly looked indignant.

“But you’re going to be here for at least a few more weeks, if not months...” He stopped his objections at the mutinously stubborn look on her face.

“We’ll deal with it if it comes up, ok? Now tell me about Hermione. She seemed back to her usual sunny self this morning.”

~~~~
Around the same time…

Harry and Ron were sitting in the Gryffindor common room waiting for Hermione to arrive when Hedwig tapped on the window. ‘Strange,’ Harry thought. ‘The letter has Muggle postage.’ It was addressed to ‘Harry Potter, c/o the Hogsmeade Post Office, One Broomstick Road, Hogsmeade.’ He almost choked when he read the Return address. ‘Dudley Dursley, 5 Mile End, Devon.’

He read the letter aloud to Ron:

‘Dear Cousin –
I had a visitor today from your Ministry of Magic informing me I am something
called a Squib. After he explained to me exactly what a squib was, he informed me that Squibs are now to be subject to your “Marriage Law.” I have three months to find a suitable candidate, with the wedding to take place after graduation in June. Having been informed of the low status of Squibs and having no knowledge of your world’s social structure, Mr. Weasley and I feel that the best course of action is for you to choose several appropriate witches for me to choose from. Is he related to the gits who dropped that candy that made my tongue swell up that time? He seemed nice, so I hope not. But with that name and red hair it seems likely.’ The boys laughed.

The next line made Harry’s eyes almost pop out of his head. ‘Aunt Marge and I will be spending the Easter break at Hogwarts to meet potential candidates.’

“Aunt Marge? As in the aunt you blew up like a blueberry in your third year?” Ron looked almost as shocked as Harry felt.

“Yes, that Aunt Marge. She hates me. Must have been a shock for her, as she has never been told that I am magical. He kept reading. ‘P.S. Is that giant guy who tried to turn me into a pig still there?’

Harry and Ron were laughing at this when Neville came through the portrait hole nursing a red mark on his cheek. “Hannah wants some time to herself and suggested I spend some time with the guys. Anything interesting going on in here?”

Harry quickly filled him in on the events that had happened over the break. Neville stared at him when Harry informed him that they were related. “I didn’t know I had an uncle. Who knew Grandma actually had an illicit romance? You’d never know it looking at her now. Don’t ever tell her I said so, but Snape’s Boggart looked better in that outfit than she does.”

They started to chuckle. Then Ron came up with an idea. “Harry, why don’t we look through that huge bag of marriage offers our brother brought you? There’s got to be a decent girl or two in there.”

“Good thinking. I’ll go get them.” Harry ran up the stairs to the 7th year boys dorm. Panting, he dumped the bag onto the common room for. For awhile, the only comments were things such as “too old!,” “ewww,” and the occasional snigger.

Finally Ron held one up. “Elladora Dolohov, 23. Attended Durmstrang, 5 O.W.L.s, 4 N.E.W.T.s. Enjoys herbology, but has a degree form the Dolmathakia Beauty College in Glamour Charms and Beauty Potions. Playwizard Playmate January 1995 – and it seems she sent her centerfold picture.” He held up a photo of a dark haired witch, reclining nude on a purple drape who winked sexily at Harry and Neville.

“Mr. Weasley! What is the meaning of this mess of lewdness?” They had been so engrossed in the pictures that they neglected to notice their head of house enter.

“She wants to marry Harry. But we’re actually looking for a spouse for his cousin.” Neville explained.
“Dudley? That huge, useless, whining lump who used to beat you up all the time? In that case, move over!” Minerva plopped down next to them and grabbed a pile of letters. After awhile, she said, “ What a pity we can’t just find the worst possible person – but they do have to live with each other for the rest of their lives. Here’s a good one. She’s Pansy’s sister, a squib. With the doubling of the genes from the Parkinson side and the fact that Dudley is genetically a wizard, their chances of producing a magical child would be quite high. I’m sure Albus and Tia could run the numbers for you.”

She read out the bio. “William Parkinson, on behalf of Laurel Parkinson, age sixteen. Squib. Sixth year, home schooled in the Wizarding and Muggle classics, dance, music, fine arts and poetry as well as standard school subjects. Likes watching Quidditch and dueling, fences and plays tennis. Wants a degree in Muggle art history or archaeology if her husband allows her to attend college. Nice, modest picture, good bloodline, and the right age range.”

“I’ll talk to Pansy after the feast tonight and see what she thinks.” There was a scratching at the portrait hole, and the Fat Lady swung open to admit Crookshanks, who padded over to Minerva, rubbing against her as if acknowledging a fellow feline.
He then jumped onto the now much smaller stack of unread letters, snuggling up in a ball with his tail curled lovingly around his nose.

“I guess he thinks we don’t need to look anymore. Harry reached in anyway, and Crookshanks swiped at him sleepily. It was from a woman whose name Harry recognized. Rachel Aberfoyle was a chaser for the Quidditch team Puddlemere United, a teammate of his old Gryffindor team captain Oliver Wood. There was a handwritten note attached. ‘Dear Harry – I know I am too old for you, but Oliver insisted I write. According to him, you are one of a rare breed of man who appreciates female Quidditch players, and women in general, as equals. I agreed to at least write, since he did wonderfully matching up our coach with some lady named Madam Hooch. Oliver said you’d know who she is. Regards, Rachel Aberfoyle.’

”I think I may forward this one to Victor Krum.” Harry laughed. “He needs someone who understands. A relationship between a Quidditch fanatic and someone who doesn’t like the sport would never work.”

“Precisely why he and I lasted a mere three games into the season.” Hermione stood at the entrance to the portrait hole, her small traveling bag in hand.

“Hi, Sis.” Ron went over and gave her a hug. Taking her bag, he banished it up to the girls’ dorm.

“Hi Ron, Hi Harry. Hello, Aunt Minerva.” Hermione settled herself on a soft cushion. “Now, is there any particular reason you were discussing my ex-boyfriend and relationships?”

Harry handed her the letter. After skimming it, she merely said, “Better ask Percy to check if she’s still available, you wouldn’t want to get his hopes up. She seems like a good match for him, though. Much better than he and I could have been.”

Ginny stomped to the top of the stairs, fuming. “Hermione, your stupid bag hitting the floor woke me up. Have some consideration for pregnant people, will you!” She snarled and stormed back down the hall and slammed the door.

“Now I see what Draco meant in his letter to Mum. She’ll be extremely lucky if he doesn’t break the engagment if she keeps treating him and everyone else this awful. He actually keeps a spare robe, pajamas and toothbrush in the Hospital wing. He’s been in there four times since Christmas and term hasn’t even started yet.”

“She’s been like this in Magical Home Arts, too. We’ve been having couples classes since the honeymooners got back, and Harry and I are partnering Fraise and Pansy for the exercises. Ginny threw an Impotens hex and him after Madam Pomfrey showed the video on natural childbirth and announced he was never touching her again and to ensure that she would be ordering a chastity belt as soon as she gave birth.” Ron sniggered.

“Video?” Hermione looked confused.


“I will leave you to catch Hermione up on recent developments, and I definitely will have a word with Miss Weasley tomorrow after I have a chance to talk to young Mr. Malfoy. Give me the letter from Miss Aberfoyle. I’m going by the ministry in the morning and I will ask Percy about her. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go meet the transfer students in Dumbledore’s office and get ready for the sorting.” She swept out of the room.

“So what’s this about a video?” Hermione asked.

Neville answered her. “It seems Professor Snape left Flitwick some of his project samples to play with since he said he was bored. Flitwick tinkered around with them and achieved what Snape had been working on for years - managed to use a movement charm on an energy potion and made a substitute for electricity. So far, all Muggle appliances can work on it. We can have CD players next term, and we are all getting laptop computers with Magic Mail accounts. Rather than put TV’s in the common rooms, they are going to build a TV room for each house. Lucius is working on renovating that old dusty room on the third floor into a movie theater. He doesn’t know it yet as he has been so busy with you and your mother, but Professor Snape is on the speakers list for this year’s charms conference. They missed the deadline for potions, but they are on top of the list for next year.”

Just as he finished, the dinner bell rang summoning them to the start of term feast.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few minutes later all the students were assembled in the Great Hall for the feast. Dumbledore had arranged for a nice dinner to welcome the second batch of Beuxbatons students, and one girl from Durmstrang who had married Slytherin Miles Bletchley over the break. She had decided to just transfer at term rather than waiting to see if she had gotten pregnant on her honeymoon.

Minerva Dumbledore placed the sorting hat on its stool, and it began to sing.

“Loyalty, Intelligence, Patience, Ambition
By traits like these it is my mission
To find for you the perfect house….”

The hat finished its song and Minerva unrolled her scroll. “Ainsley, Amanda!” A small second year stumbled out of line. True to their word, the Ainsleys had pulled all four of their children out of Beuxbatons.

Only a few seconds after it touched her head, the hat shouted out, “Ravenclaw!” Her older sister Laura went to Hufflepuff, and her oldest sister Clarice went to Slytherin.

“Ainsley, Michael!” The hat hesitated a moment. “Gryffindor!”

“Bletchley, Anastasia!” The hat pondered a long time before announcing, “Gryffindor!” There was a moment of shocked silence. Everyone had assumed that someone from Durmstrang would be a Slytherin.

“Hughes, Anwyn!” A nervous blonde fifth year wearing a maternity jumper stepped forward.

‘Please, Please, any deity that happens to be listening - let her go to someone else.’ Severus was wringing his hands. The hat made a decision. “Ravenclaw!” Severus could see Lucius go pale from across the room. ‘At least she’ll fit in nicely. With that hair and blue eyes, no one who doesn’t know will be able to tell she and Draco aren’t blood siblings.’

“Millay, Frances!” She was the consummate French girl, dark hair, dark eyes and petite everywhere but the lump in the middle. “Ravenclaw!”

Minerva collected the stool and hat while her husband stood up to give the opening address. “Welcome to all of you, I trust your new housemates will help you settle in. And now, eat up, my children. The magical plates filled with food as Dumbledore’s eyes swept the house tables.

All too soon, dinner was over. The heads of houses passed out the new course schedules and then shooed their students off to bed. Severus put Clarice into the care of Pansy and Millicent, heading to his rooms to be alone for awhile. However, an hour later he checked the common room and discovered every single Slytherin was still awake. The big table was covered with paper bits, fake gems, lace and all manner of trim.

“I don’t recall extending bedtime for arts and crafts. What is this mess?” He said irritably. Looking around at his students, he realized they were all subdued and it was obvious that several had been crying. He noticed the card that was on the table said, “To Mother Molly.”

‘Stupid!’ he berated himself ‘Why didn’t you think how much Molly being hurt would affect them? You should have told them yourself. You were so wrapped up in how much you were hurting that you didn’t give them a moment’s thought.’

“Please, sir.” Loralei Withers stepped forward shyly. “We made a get-well card, will you take it to Mum when you visit? We put our money together for flowers, but we weren’t sure if she was allowed to have them yet.”

Severus shook his head. “Not till she gets out of the intensive care ward. But of course I’ll take her the card.” There was no way he was going to tell them that they likely wouldn’t have a baby to bring home. His eyes misted over as he looked at the card. He really did have a great group of kids. Shame it had taken him sixteen years to figure that out. “Come here, all of you.” He opened his arms and was almost knocked over by the force of the group hug. “If any of you are done, clean up your mess. She might enjoy a nice collage to hang on her wall out of all those scraps, though. I’m going to make some hot chocolate.”

Crossing to the new kitchenette, he discovered that there wasn’t enough milk. Might as well go to the kitchens. Maybe I can talk Dobby out of some cookies.”

To his surprise, when he reached the kitchens Minerva was already there. “Getting a bedtime snack for the kids, Severus? As it is obvious that they are still up.”

“How did you know they are still up?” he demanded.

“Because mine are too, and so are the Hufflepuffs.” Minerva smiled sadly.

“I see everyone else’s children decided to stay up.” Lucius entered, wrapped in his green silk dressing gown. “Severus, you have glitter glue in your ear.”

“Well, you have paint on your nose, so I guess we’re even.” Winky came over and levitated herself up, attacking both of them with a wet cloth.

“Behave, Severus, Lucius. Severus, whatever you did with Hermione, it worked. She is a hundred times better. She’s the one who initiated the card project after the word got around and she had nine crying first years on her hands.”

“I’m glad she’s better, I was worried sick,” Lucius looked relieved.

“Now all I have to do is straighten out Ginevra before your son gets sick of being hexed ten times a day and breaks the engagment.”

“If she doesn’t push someone else so far they harm her first. She’s even managed to irritate Albus, and he has the longest fuse of anyone I know.” Minerva was extremely concerned about Ginny and had been for some time.

“If she wasn’t pregnant, the days she could sit would be outnumbered by those she couldn’t due to all the detentions she’d have. Every single one of her professors has told me that they had almost assigned her detention several times. All of them are worried - even Sibyll sought me out. I’m bringing the issue up at staff meeting. Before, I couldn’t do anything. Don’t indulge her anymore. Take house points, give her a detention if she deserves one, and find something safe but unpleasant for her to do.”

“I will also speak to her about her behavior in Gryffindor tower. Now, let’s get back to our kids. We can talk shop later. Dobby, can you take the plate up to the Hufflepuffs?”

“Yes, Missus, as soon as their chocolate is ready I will bring them cookies and chocolate to all plus some healthy food. Some of the new children were too nervous to eat dinner, Dobby noticed. ” Dobby bowed.

They all headed out to the corridor with their trays. When Severus reached the common room door, he was surprised to hear only one voice. Draco was sitting in one of the big green velvet armchairs, telling the younger years a story. The older ones were quietly cleaning up the scraps, puddles of glue, etc. with whispered Evenesco spells.

He placed the tray of cookies on the table just as an enormous stack of mugs appeared on the table in the back of the room. A second later a pot filled with steaming hot chocolate, a pitcher of milk and several plates of assorted sandwiches, cheese and fruit appeared next to them. They took a break to get food and then Draco finished his story.

“Will you tell us one now, please?” Loralei looked at Severus pleadingly. Ever since her detention she had become sort of a pet of his, so he acquiesced without much argument.

“Alright. Have you ever heard the story of the founding of Hogwarts?” He could see some of the older ones nodding, but the younger years were shaking their heads. Lifting Loralei into his lap, he started the story. “Long ago, but not very far away at all…” About halfway through the little ones started to fall asleep, and by the end only Draco, Millicent, Clarice and Blaise were awake. Malfoy lifted the sleeping first years and he and Blaise carried them to bed, and then came back for the older ones. Once they were all tucked in, Severus stood and carried Loralei to her bunk while Millicent, hit by a pregnancy hunger pang, finished off a sandwich. Then she and the boys put the rest of the food away and went to bed. Severus made sure all his first years were securely tucked in, and then used a spell to extinguish the lights. Parenthood could be so rewarding sometimes. It was frustrating and exhausting, but he was slowly discovering that the little gems like tonight made the rest of the time worth it.