rate_review Reviews

I love this story 

Hi. I am hoping that you are going to finish this story at some point even though it has been a long while since you updated. After scanning the story (did not want to become too involved in case it would not see completion), I wanted to let you know that it would be a real shame to not finish it. It is really good. p

Wow. I left this story for so long I only remembered one pairing and it's even better than I remembered which is something I wasn't expecting. I am sorry though that the moderaters destroyed your betad version as well as possible future chapters. Hopefully you'll be in the mood to write more as I would love to see what happens. Ginny is rather obnoxious so far I hope she gets better or that someone finds a way to at least make her less violent. YAY! Molly's baby will live and so will Molly. It would have destroyed everyone if she or her daughter died. I love that you took a common challenge and revamped it into something amazing. Are there any good marriage law fics you reccomend or any fics for that matter if so PM me and let me know.
Thank you for the privilige of reading such a well written and thought out story.

i really love this story and want to see more of it!!!!!

So, you are back and what happened to the story?.
where is the revised story?

PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE GOING TO UPDATE THIS STORY BECAUSE I LOVE IT AND WANT TO READ MORE !!!
PLEASE EMAIL ME AT POOHNATION74@YAHOO.COM WITH THE INFO

DO CONTINUE THIS STORY BECAUSE IT IS MY FAVORITE AND I HAVE READ AT LEAST TWO TIMES AND I STILL CRY AT THE TOUCHING PARTS. I LOVE HOW YOU HAVE SEVERUS AND LUCIUS, IT MAKES THEM SEEM LIKE HAPPY PEOPLE AND LOVABLE PEOPLE. PLEASE EMAIL ME WHEN YOU DO AT POOHNATION74@YAHOO.COM AND AGAIN PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY.

PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY I LOVE IT AND CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE REST OF IT.
PLEASE SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH A UPDATE T POOHNATION74@YAHOO.COM THANK YOU

This is a good story but it is riddled with inappropriate Americanisms! This is set in the UK! The most notable and huge mistake is the use of "jumper" and "sweater"! In the UK a jumper is what you call a sweater and it is a "Weasley Jumper" not a "Weasley sweater"! I know that in the US a jumper is some hideous shapeless maternity smock with no sleeves but I only know this because I used to be an editor - not many in the UK would know and will be confused by this term! We do not wear these things anyway - not since the early seventies when pregnant women began to claim the right to not dress hideously! So you need to replace sweater with jumper and if you need to keep the smocks then call them smocks and we will understand ! No British woman would use these terms - especially not in an old culture like the wizarding world!
Good story though!

The story went way out of control a while back! You include many many things which are not mentioned until after they have occurred - when did Hermione begin searching for her real family and when were we even told she was adopted? When did Severus adopt Harry? I mean we see him in his kitchen and he tells Molly but it is missing from the actual story!

The smacking thing has now become really disturbing because you had the first instance of it as an almost sexual thing (which I find rather twisted but that is just taste not storytelling)!

Why are Albus and MInerva now watching over a fifty year old woman ike a child?

Why are they all now ridiculously ooc when they were not before (well not inexicably and not in a way which makes one queasy)?

This has potential but the last few chapters need a huge overhaul or a new home in the cyber bin! The story itself is still chugging along nicely but technically the latter part is a mess! It is salvagable and worth the saving!