Draco's Companion

A/N----Okay, heres the chapter. I'm not going to make you guys wait any longer!!-----

Chapter Twenty-Six:Thoughts and Feelings


Harry stepped towards the bathroom, and turned and moved back towards the door. He heard another squeak, although not as loud as the other. He moved around the door slowly, listening for other creaks, it seemed that the entire doorway was very creaky. He grasped onto the doorknob and shut the door. He pulled it open slowly. The old wood was groaning at the use. It was a different sound, and obviously not what he was looking for. Why hadn't he heard the door groaning open? Just the creak?

He glanced back at Draco who was looking out of the window, watching the rain splatter the glass and the lightening light up the sky. Harry put his hands in his hair and rubbed vigorously.

"I don't know. Someone was obviously in here. Did you hear the door open?" Harry asked Draco.

Draco shook his head, a blush creeping up his face.

"I wasn't really listening. I didn't even hear the initial squeak."
He pointed out.

Harry smiled and walked forward.

"I don't know who it could have been." He said after sighing.
Draco just shrugged.

Harry sat very ungracefully on Draco's bed. He could feel the angry tears pricking his eyes. He blinked hard so they would go away.

"Whoever it was, was in this room!" He said angrily. "They were right fucking here!! We could have done something!"

Draco looked across the room at Harry.

"We would never have known." He said.

"We would have! If we were just laying here we would have heard them! We didn't, because we weren't just laying!!" Harry shouted angrily.

Draco leaned back, as though he was trying to get away from the shouts.

"Stop yelling." Draco said calmly. "You do *not* yell at *me*" Draco said pointedly.

Harry's eyes turned hard as ice, seconds before they softened and tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Draco shook his head.

"I'm going to sleep now, if you would please relinquish my bed. I don't want to hear anymore words from you until tommorow." Draco said harshly.

Harry nodded stiffly. He left Draco's bed and walked towards the bathroom. He slammed the door immaturely and turned on the shower.
After letting it warm up he stepped inside. Once he was completely under the shower head, and hot water was spraying onto his hair he let it all go. He really bawled. He sank down to his knees and continued, his sobs becoming harder and louder. He curled up, his knees to his chest and really let it out.

'If only we weren't being so spontaneous! We would have heard, and none of this would have happened!! Lucius...you were like my father. I loved you and respected you so much that it hurt sometimes. Please be listening to me! I will find this out. I *need* to find this out! I'm so sorry that this happened. Please tell me that it isn't a punishment for loving Draco! Please. I can't help it! I really can't. He's all I have. Expessically now that you've left us. Please, please, don't let anything more happen to us! Please make sure Narcissa is alright, if she died too I would be completely undone. I'm so, so sorry.'

He was never one to pray, he didn't even really understand the higher life. All he knew was that if one more thing happened he might snap. He layed in the bathtub, hot water pounding onto his skin. He made a vow right then. He would no longer be attracted to men. It was immoral1 and it was causing pain and suffering among the people he loved the most. That much was obvious. Harry had a flashback to when he was eleven, and just leaving for school.

Lucius was trying to warn them! He had asked them to please try and be apart, make friends, make *girl* friends. If only they had taken him seriously. Maybe if they had both tried to be attracted to females then none of this would have happened.

Sobs were racking Harry's body and his ribs were starting to ache. He moved from his laying position and moved so he was sitting, with his back to the spray of water.

What was he thinking? This did not happen just because Harry and Draco were lovers. That was ridiculous. Someone obviously had a grudge against this family, either that or Lucius and Narcissa had done something terrible and brought all the pain among themselves.

'Sorry Lucius' He thought quietly as he made the previous assumption.

Harry was determined to figure it out.

'It all hinges on where they went the other night.' Harry told himself. 'That obviously has a lot to do with it. Once we can speak with Narcissa I'm going to ask her where they went, seeing as how Draco won't ask.'

Whatever had happened would be figured out, but one thing was for sure. Harry just couldn't stop loving Draco. That was going to be impossible. Well not impossible, who knows, one day they could just drift apart, but that seemed highly unlikely. If that happened Harry would probably go in self destruct mode and harm himself, rather than anybody else. No matter what happened for them to drift apart Harry would always blame himself.

That was the other thing he was thinking about. His tears were abating, but his thoughts were not. They were going a mile a minute.

'What power do you have over me Draco?' He found himself shouting in his mind. Wishing his thoughts would telapathically reach Draco's ears.

'Why do I always succumb to you? Why do you always frighten me? I'm going to try and stop that now, Draco! I'm going to stick up for myself, and speak for myself. When someone asks me a question, I am going to answer it myself!' He continued. Still hoping.

Then he wished he hadn't thought that.

If these thought did reach Dracos ears, he would no doubt be very upset. Harry would ease it in slowly, little by little, day by day. This would let Draco know that Harry was becoming more independant. That didn't mean that Harry was thinking of leaving him or anything. Just that he wanted to be his own person, without Draco there all the time, being angry at the world and not letting Harry speak for himself. It was going to be difficult, but it would be worth it in the long run.

Harry's tears completely stopped now. He stood up and turned the hot water up higher. He dumped some shampoo in his hair and started rubbing it in, his mind much more clear now.

**********

Draco watched Harry's retreating back. He had obviously struck a nerve, but who was he to yell at Draco? That was completely uincalled for, and Draco's side of the relationship. He was always the angry, moody boy. Not Harry. That's just how it worked.

Sometimes Draco would catch himself wishing that he was just like Harry. Not the pain the boy had to endure,. but the way he could just sit back and let Draco handle things, the way he could be so insecure about every little thing. It would probably be easier then always having to know what Harry was doing, just to protect him.

'Maybe he doesn't always want you there to protect him.' A voice in the back of his mind said.

Draco's thoughts were interrupted by wails. He could hear Harry clear as a bell. He was being hysterical, but maybe he deserved that. He had been through two families already. His useless parents, his dumb muggles, and now Lucius.

'Two and a half.' He corrected himself sadly.

No wonder the boy was so insecure. He never had a decent father figure, and now that he had finally found one, he hadn't got to spend more than half of his life with him. At least Draco got him for a full fifteen years. Harry only got him for eight.

'Maybe that's why you are taking it worse. Because you got to spend more time with him.' the voice said.

'No.' Draco thought, 'It's because I am selfish, I do have every right to yearn and greave my father, but at least I got him. Harry only got half of him, and he is never going to get that back.' Draco argued.

He felt his eyes filling.

He couldn't stop thinking of everything. Maybe if he and Harry had asked Narcissa where they were anyway, then they would know who did it.

'I'm asking her tommorow.' Draco told himself. Harry was right.
He was relecting on last night. He and Harry had lost themselves to each other, and that thought made him happy. It also made his stomach contract with guilt. Lucius had quite obviously stated that he didn't want two gay 'sons'. Okay, he hadn't used those terms, but he might as well have.

"I'm sorry father, but I love him." Draco told the ceiling. How he wished he would get an answer back.

He laid in the dark, in the quiet for a few minutes until he sat up quickly. He looked out the window and noticed that the rain had stopped.

Maybe Lucius had answered him after all.


A/N-1- I personally don't feel this way. Just so all or you know. My 'bro' (not really my brother, just best friends with my sister) and my 'cousin' (you know, when ya grow up with that one family that are like your cousins.) are both gay and i love them very much. They are actually really fun lol, so I am just making this a note to everyone, just so you all don't think i'm a bitch:P.

I also realize that this is a pretty short chapter, and it's really just them thinking. I'm sooo sick right now (damn water fights) and I feel really shitty. I just wanted to get something out for you guys cuz its been a few days. I'm sorry if this was a dissapointing chapter, but at the same time it's really quite good, because you get to hear their thoughts. while they are seperate. Something that hasn't happened in quite a while.

I hope it was up to your standards:P Have a good day!

Shannon xoxox