The Pains of Becoming

And we continue!

Here is chapter 24, featuring guest appearances from Hagrid, the Weasley twins and Angelina Johnson. The conversation between Hagrid and Kirsty was particularly fun to write!



Please leave me a comment if you like this story, critic is also ok ;)

And another thanks to Lily Evins for betaing!



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Chapter 24

A Defence of a guilty Girl



Two hours later Snape had let her go back to the dormitories to sleep. He had not said anything to her about what he had done to her, nor had she of course. But while she didn’t mention anything out of embarrassment he seemed not to think about it anymore at all, as though it was a natural kind of thing to do… maybe it was where ever he grew up. She brushed the thought away and treasured her walk alone back to the dormitory. The idea of escaping came to her mind again. It seemed like a dream to be able to just walk out the doors. But she was not foolish enough to try.

Suddenly she heard voices, arguing in annoyed but hushed tones. She stopped. A bunch of 7th year Gryffindors came around the corner and stopped when they noticed her.



“What are you doing here?” Kirsty snarled, she was annoyed, she barley had time for hers to be alone these days, and those Gryffindors ruined a peaceful moment. They were not supposed to be down in the dungeons anyway and considering their arguing they were up to something.



“We thought we come around your homey place and have a chat with you, actually”, said one of the Weasley twins.



“I don’t ‘chat’ with Gryffindors,” Kirsty stepped forward to walk pass them, but a girl Kirsty knew as Angelina Johnson stepped in her way. The others followed.



“We have a few things to clear up with you.”



“Yeah?”



“We know you broke into our common room a few weeks ago, and you put some kind of magical device under Harry Potter’s bed, which made him very sick. I suppose you are not going to deny it, cause it’s obvious it was you, since Snape is struggling so hard to keep you. And I don’t suppose you are going to deny that you meant for Harry to be harmed. I don’t suppose you thought that thing you put under his bed was giving him particularly nice dreams?” Angelina crossed her arms and waited for a response.



Kirsty looked at all of them for a moment and then said: “I didn’t care about what it did to him.”



“We reckoned as much. What has he ever done to you, hm?”



“Nothing.”



“So you are going to tell us that it was just a fun thing to do? After all Slytherin have such great humour…”



“No. I’m not going to tell you anything. Get out of my way, and get out of my dungeon.”



Kirsty tried again to squeeze herself past Angelina, but all of them closed in on her again and Angelina grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly back.



“We aren’t finished with you. Snape might be able to somehow get Dumbledore off your back, but not us!”



“Hey you!”



Everyone turned. Draco, Crabbe and Goyle stood only meters away. Draco stepped forward and sneered: “Gryffindors in the dungeon, I thought I smelled something ugly…”, he spotted the twins, “no wonder…Weasleys…”



“Go play with kids your own age, Malfoy”, Angelina said not loosening her grip on Kirsty’s collar. That was when Draco noticed Kirsty in their middle. They exchanged looks for a moment then Draco turned back to Angelina.



“You don’t give orders around here, Gryffindor.” The cracking of Goyle’s knuckles could be heard.



“What, you little ferret and your two fat friends want to take us on?”



Draco hesitated: “Maybe one day, but right now it would be a lot easier to call for Professor Snape. –Like I said this isn’t your territory, Gryffindor.”



Angelina exchanged looks with her friends and silently seemed to come to an agreement. She turned back to Kirsty and pulled her towards her:



“Your little boyfriend and Snape won’t always be around to save you. We will make you pay, you can be sure of that.” She released her and they cleared off. Kirsty didn’t move and looked after them. Then she turned and looked at Draco.



“Thanks”, she said.



He put his hands into his pockets and muttered quietly “Saved your butt again…” as he walked passed her. Crabbe and Goyle followed him.



“You definitely did not save my butt today…,” she mumbled quietly, not quite aware that she had said it out loud till Draco stopped and turned.



“What?”



“Nothing,” Kirsty said quickly and hurried into the other direction towards the common room.



She did not stop until she had reached it and had locked herself in the bathroom. There she breathed deeply and tried to calm herself down a bit. She hesitated a moment, then she stepped towards the mirror. She pulled up her skirt and let her fingers slide over Lucius initials on her thigh. That was something Snape would not take away from her, she thought, the one sign that made her his forever, no matter what happened. She slid her hand back and turned her back on the mirror, exposing her bottom to it. She pulled her panties aside and turned her head back over her shoulder to look at her bottom. An exited shiver washed over her as she saw herself lightly bruised there. She squeezed one cheek and moaned quietly at the soft pain. It felt comforting somehow.



She slept fairly well that night but in the morning she was just as tired and unwilling to get up as the last couple of days. It was like there was no point in getting up, there was no point in life anymore. She stroke over Lucius initials on her thigh as she dragged herself out of bed.

She skipped breakfast in order to have some precious minutes alone and then went to class. It was only Double Care of Magical Creatures, that wasn’t too bad, she could easily sneak away from the group and have some rest to sit and stare and think of Lucius and if there was anything she could do to improve her situation. If Hagrid complained she could say something mean, that usually made him back off and leave her alone, that big fool. The only downside to the class ahead was that it was shared with a few Gryffindors and she did not fancy hanging around Angelina and her friends.

Luckily the Gryffindors generally liked Hagrid and did not seem to find it fair on him to interrupt his teaching by bullying Kirsty. All she got was angry and threateningly looks from Angelina and her friends. Kirsty quickly followed her plan and as the students formed groups to deal with some kind of four legged, very furry animal she slowly and unnoticed stepped back and sat down further away from the class on a rock hidden slightly by the brunches of some trees.

She breathed. She was tired, she wanted to go back to bed… she wanted to run away…she had to find a way to communicate with Lucius! For a moment she thought about using a fireplace but she had learned her lesson and would not in anyway appear near Malfoy Manor again. Her best option was still Snape. But she wasn’t sure about what to do. Ask him again? She could not quite remember now whether he had spanked her because she asked for Lucius or because she had broken her quill. Her memory felt distorted when it came to last night. But she got the impression that he would never tell her anything. He was to smart to give her clues by accident, and he would never put her in contact with Lucius willingly. Maybe she should turn to Draco about this again.



Suddenly she heard some louder rumouring among the students and Hagrid asked repeatedly: “Where is Kirsty Flame?… I was supposed to… oh no… has anyone seen her?”



Kirsty hesitated to get up from her rock, there Hagrid hurried around the corner and saw her, he breathed out apparently terribly relieved.



“There you are. What are you doing over here?”



“Having a moment to myself, you mind?”



Hagrid hesitated: “Uhh, well… I suppose you should be helping the others… you know…”



Kirsty only glared at him. She was putting on her most threatening glare. She didn’t think it was too impressive in general, but it was surely enough to have an effect on that fool in front of her.



“Well, I don’t. I’m tired and I don’t feel well.”



“Maybe you should go to the hospital wing then? ...Maybe they can do something about it?”



“No thanks. I just need some rest, ok?”



Hagrid hesitated again. He seemed to think very hard. Kirsty crossed her arms to make obvious she was waiting to be left along.



“Well… I wouldn’t mind really…,” he muttered.



“So?” she prompted.



“But… it’s just… Professor Snape asked me to…”



“Professor Snape asked you to what?”



“To keep an eye on you. He spoke to all your teachers. But he said since my class is outdoors it might be tempting for you to… you know… run off or something. And anyway… he said you should be kept in the group, not be…. excluded, that’s what he said.”



Kirsty stepped towards him, her eyes glittering: “Is that what he said? Well, did he tell you by any chance why? Did he tell you what I have been through in the last month?”



Hagrid hesitated again: “No. … not as such.”



“I was kidnapped by a Deatheater, who beat me and cursed me and raped me in pretty much all ways possible. So, would you mind, giving me a break?!” She had stepped right into his face or as far as she reached up to it anyway. Hagrid had backed away and without either of them realising it they had appeared from behind the brunches and the entire class was looking at them. Kirsty had spoken a lot louder than she had intended.



There was silence. Then Angelina stepped forward.



“Oh you poor thing. Are we supposed to feel sorry for you now? You probably liked it anyway.”



“Shut your gulp, Johnson,” Kirsty snarled.



“Don’t believe her Hagrid, she is lying as soon as she opens her mouth. She wants you to think she is the victim around here, after betraying Dumbledore and attacking Harry. –She did it because she wanted to. No one forced her. She is lying!”



Hagrid looked uncomfortable and helpless back and forth between Kirsty and Angelina.

Kirsty turned towards Angelina and walked over to her:



“I said shut it, alright? You are blubbering about things you don’t have a clue about! You have no idea what kind of contacts I have, so you better stop talking shit and back off!” The twins and some other Gryffindors and even Hufflepuffs stepped up to defend Angelina. Kirsty glared at them.



“That’s for all of you! I know Dumbledore and Harry Potter are everyone’s heroes, just cause they are not mine I am not to blame for everything! All I want is some fucking peace, so back the fuck off!!” She shouted those last words.



Hagrid stepped between them.



”Calm down everybody! Lets get on with things.”



Nobody paid attention to him. Angelina still glared at Kirsty:



“You can scream around and make a scene as much as you want. Fact is, you will have to pay for the things you have done. Doesn’t matter that Snape is protecting you. You will have to answer to someone. And try crying around then about kidnapping and rape… you sad liar.”



Kirsty took all her strength and kicked Angelina in her stomach to make her fall backwards. She landed in the grass and her friends moved towards Kirsty who quickly pulled her wand.



“Blimey!” Hagrid shouted, “Put that away!”



“Tell them to back off,” Kirsty argued, eyeing her enemies carefully.



“Everyone calm down,” Hagrid said again nervously and stepped between Kirsty and the Gryffindors. Everyone stepped back a little to not be knocked over by Hagrid who bend down to look at Angelina. But she was already struggling back to her feet.



Hagrid looked at them all: “Maybe we should finish for today… uh, everyone get a break to calm down.”



Kirsty run off back towards the castle to keep a distance between her and everyone else. She was glad to be surrounded by the dark, cold walls of Hogwarts again. She walked towards the transfiguration classroom for her next lesson, her brain was not quite catching up with the fact that it wasn’t time yet. She stopped shortly before the classroom and only stared, not knowing what to do next, then she turned to her right, she remembered something. To her right, in the wall there was a hidden door. She looked around quickly to make sure nobody saw her, and then she pressed into the wall and disappeared into darkness. Tingling memory surrounded her. It was the old classroom in which Lucius had played with her. It was quiet and gloomy. Kirsty sighed and walked over to the school bench she had been sitting in at the start of their game. She sat down and rested her head on the desk. She closed her eyes and tried to remember Lucius voice, that precious voice. She tried to recall things he had said, just randomly, anything… and tried to remember the feeling of his breath on her neck.



When she woke up she had lost all sense of time. She felt strange, as though lost somewhere between dimensions of time and reality. She slipped back into the hallway. There were no windows anywhere but she had the feeling of darkness being outside. Only few students passed her. She went towards the Great Hall and heard the voices of students from there. She had missed transfiguration, history of magic, her extra lessons with Flitwick and slept through to dinnertime!



She stopped and hesitated… she was hungry… but somehow she dreaded going into the Great Hall. Her teachers surely noticed her disappearance. She couldn’t simply walk in there to have dinner without causing attention. And she didn’t want attention, particularly not in front of Harry Potter and the entire Gryffindor house, and the entire school for that matter. She turned and walked down to the dungeons. She was simply going to wait before the potions classroom until dinner was over. As every evening she was going to spend it with Snape who was supervising her revision. …she had an odd feeling that Snape might be very angry, but she pushed the thought as far away as she could.

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I have the odd feeling Kirsty is right about that, hehe…. come back to for it!