Marriage Law Madness

Albus Dumbledore stepped through the Floo system into his office, setting his suitcase down at the side of the hearth. It was obvious they had been somewhere warm, as he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals. On his head he wore a cap with two black ears sticking out and his name embroidered on the front. Minerva came through a minute later, similarly attired.

“So, Severus, did anything of note happen while we were away?” he said jovially. Judging by his reaction, Albus obviously wasn’t expecting the answer he got.

“Let’s see. I added three children to my family, one of whom ran away and I frantically searched for for three days, another who is pregnant, the other of whom, if Cornelius Fudge hadn’t stepped in, would be cooling his heels in Azkaban for using an unforgivable. Made arrangements to bury Hermione\'s parents after they were brutally murdered by Hermione’s biological family, narrowly saved my wife from the same fate, got into a blood feud…no, nothing much happened out of the ordinary.”

“Please, Please tell me you aren’t serious,” Minerva begged him.

“Unfortunately, the only one I’m not sure about is the feud. There’s a representative of the Branstone family coming to see me in about twenty minutes, which is why I was sitting in here.” He quickly filled them in on what had happened. “So Hermione’s home, but will be sore from the curses for a day or two yet. Molly will probably be in St. Mungo’s a few weeks.” There was a knock on the door, and Evan Branstone strode into the office.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen and lady. Mr. Snape, I am seeking some answers as to how my father ended up dead on your kitchen floor, and why Cornelius Fudge signed the death certificate without an investigation.”

“Your father attempted to kill my wife, and apparently had a heart attack from the myriad of curses that Mr. Malfoy and Master Potter threw at him. His wand was also tied to three murders and one attempted murder at the Granger residence. Surely you have an idea of where this all started. It started with you and Felicity.”

“What does she have to do with it? She dumped me when I was a teenager.” Evan was clearly confused.

“Oh, Merlin, I’m beginning to see. I think if your father hadn’t died on my kitchen floor, my sister and her husband would have been next.” Severus reached down to his watch chain and touched Ginny’s pendant. ‘Gin, can you send Hermione to Dumbledore’s office, please?”

“She isn’t here, she went to the library with Harry. I’ll go get her.”

A short while later, Hermione was standing at the office door, terrified. Why had she been summoned here? Had something happened to Molly?

As soon as she entered the room, a man she didn’t know gave a gasp, his mouth hanging open like a fish. “Evan, I’d like you to meet your and Felicity’s child, my daughter Hermione.” Severus had obviously been right in his thinking that Evan had been lied to as well.

The man simply stared at her for a long minute, then said, “She has my ears.” He reached up and smoothed his hair behind his own ears so she could see.

“She has your smile, too. I remember when you and Felicity were first years, giggling over something or another. But she has Felicity’s eyes.” Dumbledore smiled.

The wards started sounding as three bodies piled through the Floo, which proved to be Felicity, Sophie and Aurora. “Something’s wrong at the house, the wards started going nuts, I heard someone scream as if a ward hit them but there was no one there. Remus wasn’t home, and this was the only safe place I knew to go.” She looked around, suddenly noticing Evan. Her face turned deathly pale and she looked like she was going to faint when she saw Hermione standing next to him.

“Sister dear, may I introduce you to your daughter. I had hoped that I could have introduced you better, but it seems fate is against that.” He gave her a hug and then led her over to Hermione. “Let me look at you two together.” Meanwhile, Albus had his head in the fire conversing with Auror headquarters.

They all sat down around the fire, each filling in what they knew. “If I ever find my stepmother, I’ll kill her.” Severus swore.

“Leave a piece for me. She was the Mother-in-law from hell.” Lucius added his two knuts.

“Huh?” Hermione looked from one to the other, extremely confused.

“Didn’t you ever wonder why Lucius and I were so close? Narcissa and I were the same age, and my sister and I double dated a lot since my stepmother refused to let her go without a chaperone.”

”But that would make Narcissa, Tonks’ Mum and Bellatrix Lestrange my aunts!” Hermione was more confused than ever.

“Let’s go to the Library, it will be easier if I show you.” Lucius led them out of Dumbledore’s office, through the corridors and to the back of the library. Pansy, Ginny, Draco and Harry were busy working on a History of Magic assignment, which Binns had made due the first day of the new term.

Lucius selected a large book bound in red leather, opening it to the Snape family tree. “There’s Severus’ Mother, who was from the McGonagall line. He and Minerva are cousins, although distant. She died after Felicity was born, and Severus’ father, Accius, married Tansy Black, nee Parkinson, the widow of Alphard Black, who fathered Bellatrix, Narcissa and Andromeda. Accius and Tansy had a little boy, Michael, who died at birth.

He flipped to the Malfoy page. “Narcissa’s grandmother’s sister married a Malfoy, so Narcissa and I were cousins twice. We connect to the Weasley line a generation before that. Now Alphard and Tansy had the three girls, making Draco and Nymphadora first cousins by blood, joined by Hermione, Sophie, Aurora, Harry, Gabrielle and all seven Weasley children on the step side through Severus and Felicity. Alphard Black’s brother was the one who fathered Sirius and Regulus, meaning that entire generation were first cousins.

“You mean my adoptive father, your wife, and my Godfather are first cousins? Harry and the rest of the group had long since given up on their History of Magic homework and were avidly listening to Lucius.

“Yes. My stepmother’s only sister died at birth, so there are no cousins from that side.”

“Yes there are.” Pansy piped up. “I knew they were able to bribe Debrett’s but do you mean that even you don’t know?” She addressed her question to Dumbledore.

“Know what, dear?” Dumbledore looked quite put out that one of his students might know more than he did about someone.

“Rose didn’t die at birth – but she was born a squib. She was raised by some old cousin or other away from the magical side and married off to a squib from the Longbottom line. You notice I quit ribbing Potter about his family, Draco? That’s because I discovered he’s as pureblooded as the rest of us. You see, the squib my great-aunt was married off to was named Peter Evans, Squib son of Athena Longbottom and her lover Alistair Evans.”

“Meaning that Lily wasn’t a Muggleborn witch, first of her line, but a Parkinson/Longbottom who had received the magical gene. And that makes Neville and Harry first cousins, and Neville’s grandmother Harry’s greatgrandmother. ” Dumbledore looked absolutely dumbfounded.

“Didn’t you ever wonder, Harry, where the family name trend for women came from? Rose, Petunia, Lily, Pansy, Tansy… and my little sister is named Laurel. I think this one is going to be Violet,” she said, rubbing her abdomen.

“So that makes you and I cousins as well, correct? My head hurts too much to puzzle it out.”

Pansy nodded. “If Hermione’s both a Snape and a Branstone, that makes the four of us cousins of varying degrees,” indicating herself, Harry, Draco and Hermione.

Lucius looked at the Branstone page. “So, Evan, it seems there is another little Branstone expected? There are three lines under your name, Hermione, Eleanor, and baby boy.”

“Lydia’s pregnant? I didn’t know that, no wonder she’s been moody lately. I’d attributed it to the fact that she has had no luck conceiving again and Eleanor making us grandparents. That makes Hermione and Eleanor half sisters, and Eleanor’s husband Hermione’s brother-in-law.”

Hermione turned and ran from the room. She had to get away, anywhere - she couldn’t handle anymore right now.

“I’m so sorry. Hermione’s had a very difficult few days, and her emotions are off kilter right now. Unfortunately, she blames herself for a lot of this, believing if she had never started looking for her biological parents then none of this would have happened.\" Severus tried to explain.

“I think I’ll go find Hermione. I think seeing Molly might be the best thing for her. May I take her, Severus?” Lucius looked extremely upset.

“Yes, I think that is a good idea. I’ll meet you there in a few hours after I get things settled here.” Severus agreed and Lucius strode out of the library in search of his goddaughter.

Severus then turned to Felicity. “I’m going to send someone to find Remus, I think you all should stay here tonight.”

“He’s in Hogsmeade, setting up the new shop. Is it alright if we stay here? I’d feel safer, and it will take a day or two to reset all the wards after the Aurors are finished.”

“Of course you may. I’ll tell the house elves to make up guest quarters for you and send someone to fetch Remus,” Dumbledore said.

“I’ll go. Which shop is it?” Evan quickly put on his cloak.

“The new baby boutique, between Zonko’s and the post office. Thank you so much, Evan.” Felicity stepped forward, kissing his cheek.

Evan returned the kiss. “We’ll all get together and catch up once things calm down. Now I have to get your husband and tell my wife that we are expecting another baby.” He strode out the library door towards the Floo connection in Dumbledore’s office.

\"Come back with Remus. I have to go check on the potions for the girls, and I\'ll send some of the pregnancy vitamin potion and the anti-nausea home to Lydia.\" Severus called after him.