Proof of Life

Whispers of Freedom



Severus was mildly surprised to be asked to join the group of his former students in the search for the Resurrection Stone, but he agreed instantly. Much to his own dismay, his reasons for joining the search were likely not what Harry had assumed them to be.



While the idea of having his name cleared once and for all was vaguely satisfying, the prospect of being free was nothing short of unnerving. Free from what exactly? He considered his current living arrangements thoughtfully, and could not find a single thing he wished to be free from. He had gotten accustomed to the company of others, to the cat, to the comfort of Harry\'s home... and more to the point, he had become attached to Harry, probably a great deal more than Harry would approve of.



This sort of feeling was new to him. Even as a small child he had never felt that sort of attachment to his own parents. While other children seemed to be upset when their parents were gone, and comforted by their return, Severus remembered being indifferent when his mother and father weren\'t around, and carefully avoiding them upon reunion.



Not that he had a good reason to feel any other way. His parents used to be largely unconcerned when he was crying and never made any haste to relieve his distress. Come to think of it, nor had anyone else in his life.



Except... the last several weeks had been different. Whenever Severus needed something, whenever he was distressed in some way, Harry rushed to respond the best he could, and Severus realized all too quickly that he could offer no defense against something so simple, and so human.



Go to the Forbidden Forest? Severus smiled ruefully. At this point, if Harry invited him to trek across Antarctica, he wouldn\'t have refused.



~ *~



Early Friday morning they left enormous amounts of food and clean water for Tripod, petted him together, and took the Floo to the Burrow. Hermione and Ron were already there, arguing in vehement whispers over an old map of the Forbidden Forest. Ginny was up as well, curled up in a large armchair with a book in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.



“Any coffee left?” Harry asked by way of greeting, glancing at two mugs on the table next to Ron and Hermione.



“Some, if you want the dregs,” Ginny said. “I\'d make a fresh pot if I were you.”



“Would you mind?” Ron asked, never lifting his eyes off the map. “Coffee is in the cupboard above the sink. Now, look, \'Mione, if we start at the site of Voldemort\'s encampment, all we need to do is work outwards...”



“I\'m not saying we shouldn\'t start there, all I\'m saying is that if the stone isn\'t found there, then we should expand our search intelligently, by estimating the most likely direction...”



“I keep telling you, you can\'t bloody estimate that! It\'s been seven years!”



“Well, if you use your brain...”



“Don\'t tell me...”



Ginny shook her head resignedly. “They\'ve been at it since six this morning. Going in circles like that.”



“Must be irritating,” Harry said.



“Actually, it\'s almost hypnotic,” Ginny said, returning her attention to the book.



“Do you mind making coffee?” Harry asked, turning to Severus. “I\'ll chat with Hermione and Ron and make sure they won\'t murder each other before we even begin the search.”



Severus nodded mutely and retreated into the kitchen. It took him a good minute to find the coffee, and a few more minutes to figure out how to work the complicated appliance that spoke volumes of Arthur Weasley\'s attachment to Muggle technology.



Eventually, the contraption yielded to his efforts and the coffee was brewed. Severus barely had time to savor his victory when he heard a sound of soft, hesitant footsteps.



He turned around to see a small girl, dressed in blue pajamas, standing in the doorway, yawning sleepily. The resemblance to Harry was unmistakable – the child had dark hair and green eyes, almost a copy of Harry\'s. The only thing that betrayed Ginny\'s parentage was the girl\'s slightly upturned nose and a small dash of freckles peppering her face.



“Hello,” the girl said bravely, extending her hand. “I\'m Lily Eileen.”



Although Severus already knew her full name, he was still startled to hear it. He reciprocated the gesture, shaking her hand firmly. “Hello. I\'m Severus Snape.”



The enormous green eyes opened even wider and scrutinized him head to toe.



“I thought it might be you,” she said. “Dad keeps a photograph of you on his desk. What happened to your hair?”



Slightly surprised by her question, he lifted his hand to his head absently. “It got all tangled up. Had to be cut.”



Lily winced in sympathy. “That\'s awful. Same thing happened to aunt Hermione\'s cat. She went away for work, she was gone for a month, and uncle Ron forgot to groom the cat, and his fur got all matted and mangy. Then it had to be cut short, and uncle Ron said he had to go to the doghouse.” The girl climbed into the kitchen chair and perched there comfortably, dangling her feet. “Dad said you were lost for seven years,” she informed Severus matter-of-factly. “Were you lost like Robinson Crusoe?”



“Hmm,” Severus muttered, vaguely recalling the old Muggle novel. “A bit like that, yes.”

Lily\'s expression grew slightly alarmed. “On a strange island, all alone, then? Were there cannibals there?”



“Excuse me?” He hadn\'t remembered that part of the book until just now. “No. Absolutely not,” he said quickly, eager to reassure her in spite of the oddly apt analogy. “No cannibals. What kind of bedtime stories are your parents letting you read, anyway?”



“Dad says it\'s a classic,” Lily explained. “What\'s a classic?”



“Something very good. Something that influenced a lot of people.”



Lily absorbed the information in silence. “Are you a classic?” she asked hesitantly.



Taken aback by the odd question, he wasn\'t certain how to respond. Fortunately, Harry rescued him, by calling out from the living room, “Lily, you aren\'t bothering the Professor, are you?”



“I\'m not bothering anyone!” Lily protested indignantly. “And you forgot to introduce us. That\'s not very polite.”



“I didn\'t know you were awake,” Harry said, entering the kitchen and pouring himself a mug of fresh coffee. “Run along, sweetie. Time to get washed and dressed.”



The girl jumped off the chair and left the kitchen, but not before casting one parting look at Severus and telling Harry in a very stern, not-quite-whisper, “Don\'t forget to brush his hair when it gets long again!”



Harry looked at Severus sheepishly and opened his mouth to say something when the Burrow burst into a flurry of activity. Some people were arriving by Floo, others Apparating just outside of the house and knocking on the door.



Severus and Harry stepped out into the living room together. Severus looked around, taking note of those assembled. He saw Neville and Hannah, Pansy, Daphne and Blaise, Luna, Marietta, and a few others, including Cho Chang, Dean Thomas, Angelina Johnson, George Weasley, and Lee Jordan. Draco was the last to arrive; he gave Severus a barely noticeable, subdued nod upon entering the Burrow.



“We\'ve got a problem,” Cho\'s loud and slightly distraught voice announced. “We can\'t Apparate anywhere near the Forbidden Forest anymore. I spoke to Professor Flitwick last night. He said the Ministry of Magic and the Board of Governors held a meeting, and the anti-Apparition wards around Hogwarts have been expanded...”



“How far?” Ron asked calmly.



“Fifty mile radius,” Cho said regretfully.



“I suppose they weren\'t too pleased with us searching Hogwarts and trying to prove the Professor\'s innocence,” Blaise said. “Well, now what? Potter, can you get us a Portkey?”



“No, it\'ll take too long to steal one or make one, and even longer to sign one out for personal use,” Harry said. “Let\'s just Floo to Hogsmeade and walk to the forest.”



“All right,” Hermione said, consulting her listing of Hogsmeade businesses. “The coffee shop, High Grounds, is the first one open. We\'ll Floo in there, have breakfast, and then go search for the stone.”



“What if the search takes longer than one day?” Daphne asked. “Maybe we should book a couple of rooms at Madam Rosmerta\'s, just in case we need to spend the night...”



“Good idea,” Ginny agreed. “I\'ll book two nights for all of us, just in case.”



“Rosmerta now has a guest house as well,” Harry explained, noticing Severus\' slightly confused expression. “Right next to the Three Broomsticks.”



Severus nodded quickly. He was beginning to feel slightly crowded, but not nearly as uncomfortable as he had felt in Diagon Alley a few days earlier. The faces of his former students, as far as he could tell, held no signs of gloating, pity, or even curiosity. In fact, everyone simply seemed to be excited and focused on the task ahead.



Harry\'s hand rested on his elbow.



“Shall we go?” Harry asked.



Severus looked at him, studying his expression. He saw the concern and the unspoken offer to return home, along with something that almost looked like a friendly challenge of sorts.



“Yes,” Severus agreed. “We should go.”



A moment later they stepped into the Floo together, followed closely by the others.



~ * ~



High Grounds turned out to have a large floor space, and an even larger garden with tables, easily accommodating the entire group.



Harry took a hold of Severus\' elbow and skillfully navigated them through the crowd to a quiet table in the corner.



“Are you doing all right so far?” Harry asked once they were seated and the hostess had delivered the food to their table. “The crowd isn\'t getting to you?”



“I\'m all right. The crowd is fine.”



“That\'s good.” Harry poked his egg with a fork absently. “You know, I hope it doesn\'t weird you out too much,” Harry said, clearly trying to keep his voice even and measured, “but I hope that when we find the stone, and your name is cleared, you won\'t leave right away.”



“You intend to host me after it is no longer necessary?” Severus clarified. “Why?”



“Well, legal freedom is one thing, but... it takes time to adjust to regular life, I imagine,” Harry said neutrally. “I need to make sure you\'re all right before you take off to be on your own again.”



Severus stared at Harry intently, not wanting to admit how much comfort Harry\'s statement brought with it. “Oh? I didn\'t realize I inspired that much pity.”



“Pity is probably the wrong word for it,” Harry said, appearing to take no offense at his tone. “But... when people fight on the same side, they should take care of each other once the dust settles,” he said softly. “Otherwise, what\'s the point of fighting?”



“Hmm.” He didn\'t quite know how to counter that odd logic, nor did he want to try, so great was the relief flooding him at Harry\'s words. “Do you really think we\'ll find it?” Severus asked instead.



“The stone? Well, I don\'t see why not. Only the group here knows about it being there. The chances of it having been picked up by someone else are small, I reckon.”



“That\'s reasonable,” Severus admitted. The word freedom played through his mind again. This time, for some reason, it appeared a great deal less threatening.



~ * ~



They began their hike towards the Forbidden Forest an hour later. Hermione and Ron led the way, followed closely by Lee, George and Angelina. The Slytherins trailed closely behind them, casting curious glances ahead. Marietta and Luna walked a dozen feet ahead of Harry and Severus, who were bringing up the rear.



The sun was peeking timidly through the thick cover of clouds, and a tiny, barely noticeable spray of rain fell from the sky. Severus smiled absently, as the infinitesimal droplets of water touched his skin. The faint rustling of wind along the grass seemed to give an almost human voice to the odd, unfamiliar hope.



Freedom. The word continued to haunt him as he pondered its many meanings and implications. If Harry\'s words were to be trusted, and every instinct of his suggested that they should be, it was something to look forward to. Maybe freedom was something like Harry\'s touch, that took nothing away from him, but simply gave something that he had needed his entire life, yet had never dared to hope for.



As if in response to his thoughts, Harry\'s hand brushed against his elbow, and Severus\' heart skipped a beat at the slight, barely noticeable contact.



“Still doing all right?” Harry checked.



“Yes. Fine. You?”



Harry\'s face, bearing the small droplets of rain, looked radiant in the morning light.



“Brilliant,” Harry said.



~ * ~



When they finally reached the Forbidden Forest, it took Harry the best part of an hour to find Aragog\'s abandoned lair.



“The spiders left after the war was over,” Luna informed Severus. “They never came back. It\'s really tragic.”



“Yes, really, who\'s going to eat us alive now?” Ron mocked, but in a good-natured way.



“All right, can I have everyone\'s attention, please?” Ginny announced, waving the large book that she\'d been seen reading back at the Burrow.



The chatter died quickly and everyone stared at her expectantly. The next fifteen minutes held a crash-course on archaeological techniques that Ginny delivered in a competent, clear, and concise way, including demonstrating the spells for lifting and sifting the layers of soil.



“We\'re going to partition the area into five-meter squares,” Ginny said in conclusion. “Work in pairs, it helps to have someone else watch your work. When you complete your square, if you\'ve not found anything, move on to the next one. Don\'t be afraid to spend too much time on one square; don\'t speed along. This isn\'t a race. Precision, attention to detail, and focus are everything. Remember, the stone is very small, think about the size of your thumbnail. If you find it, you\'ll know – it\'s black, and it has a very particular design: a triangle with a circle inside it, and a line crossing it. If you get confused, please ask for help. I\'m sure Hermione will be more than happy to lecture you and tell you what a hopeless idiot you are.”



They set to work at once. Harry seemed to be a quick learner. He worked quickly and efficiently, going through layers of soil with unwavering concentration and an astonishing amount of energy. Severus watched him for several minutes, surprised at the ease with which Harry had learned the new spells. Whatever he had thought of him as a student, there was no denying that Harry was now a competent wizard.



“Was it here?” Severus asked suddenly, as he watched Harry sift through a heap of freshly upturned soil.



“Was what here?” Harry asked absently. “Oh. When Voldemort struck me with the killing curse? Yes.” Harry grinned a little. “Why?”



Severus was watching Harry intently, trying to imagine what it might have been like for a seventeen-year-old boy to walk willingly to his death.



“It must have been terrifying,” he said very softly.



Harry shrugged. “I don\'t remember. I remember what I was thinking... I remember every tree branch, every root that was sticking out of the ground, but for the life of me, I can\'t recall what it actually felt like.”



“It\'s understandable. The emotional intensity of memories fades in time,” Severus mused. “Occlumency and Legilimency are good mental disciplines that can help retrieve memories without the emotional… entanglements.”



“I know,” Harry surprised him by saying. “Ron and I took some Occlumency training as Aurors. It was... actually quite interesting.”



Severus was surprised by the pang of regret that came with Harry\'s words, regret that seemed suspiciously close to jealousy. He couldn\'t tell whether he was jealous of the fact that someone else had succeeded where he\'d failed, managing to teach Harry the complex discipline... or whether it was just a vague sense of discontent at the realization that over the last seven years other people\'s lives had been going on, while his own had stood still.



Harry glanced at him above the rim of his eyeglasses and grinned a little.



“Not to worry. I\'m still not nearly as good as you at Occlumency. When you start casting spells, you can practice Legilimency on me all you want.”



“Don\'t flatter yourself, Potter,” Severus said automatically, “your mind isn\'t that fascinating.”



For a split-second Severus was genuinely horrified by the words that emerged from his own mouth without any effort at sarcasm. He tensed slightly out of habit, half expecting some sort of disaster to strike, but Harry snickered and then doubled over in laughter. Severus let out a breath he didn\'t know he was holding and chuckled quietly, allowing himself to relax as well.



“What\'s funny?” Luna asked from the square next to them. Next to her, Marietta interrupted her work, glancing at Severus and Harry with a wry grin.



“It\'s a private joke,” Harry said when his laughter had subsided.



“You aren\'t making fun of us, are you?”



“No, Lovegood. If I were making fun of you, I\'d do it in a very public way,” Severus assured her.



Luna Lovegood lifted her head and stared at them both with undisguised affection. “That\'s good to know,” she said with a genuine and slightly mischievous smile. “I\'d hate to miss something like that.”



To Be Continued...