Devil May Care

Author\'s Note: This might possibly be it, folks. I really don\'t know. If it is, this is my all time favorite story and I enjoyed every minute of it. I hope you all did as well.

If it\'s not the end...well, we\'ll see what happens. :-)


Worries and Revelations


No Draco in the bath. I bathe alone, and that’s fine. I’m calmer now, and that’s even better. I have to take things nice and easy, nice and easy. It’s hard, but I’ll get through it. No matter how piss-arse things seem right now.

The bath helps, it really does. I feel more relaxed, I feel more calm, I feel more like myself. I’m ready for anything, whatever they want to throw at me, I can handle it.

I wander back into the bedroom. Still no Draco. This is really weird. I *told* him to be here. Sure, I told him I’d be late but I said to be here, naked and in bed. I’m starting to get not worried, exactly, but a bit put off. What’s he off doing, that’s so damn important? He doesn’t *do* anything?

I sit down at my desk, and I ponder this for a bit. Where could Draco be? Well, if *I* were Draco, where would I go? Into bed, to be shagged senseless by me. Obviously the real Draco’s thought process isn’t what it should be.

I don’t like when I don’t know where he is. Maybe I’m paranoid or something, but something about it bothers me. It’s not like I think he’s out maiming innocent animals or anything, I just get this weird feeling. It’s not even like I think he might be cheating on me. He wouldn’t be, he doesn’t do that. What would be the point?

So where the fuck is he?

I may as well just wait for him, I’m not going to waste all of my energy looking for him. I’ll get lost, we won’t meet up, it’ll be n awful mess.

He’s not going to be naked in bed waiting for me, fine. I’ll be naked in bed waiting for him. Turn the tables on him, throw him off and all of that.

I strip, I get into bed. Now I’m naked in bed, and realizing how tired I really am. And worrying about these so called problems Draco and I are supposedly having.

We’re not having any problems. Or if we were, we got over them this morning. He’s probably…I don’t know. Maybe he has friends. I’ve never really bothered to find out. Crabbe and Goyle don’t count, they’re walking boulders, not friends.

So maybe he made friends, and he’s with a friend. But then begs the question: who would be friend with Draco? He’s not really easy to get along with. You have to be a real special sort of person to consider Draco pleasant company.

Hell, I’m in love with him and I don’t even think he’s pleasant company. He *can* be, when he tries, but he doesn’t try all that often. He’s moody and pouty and spoiled. He throws tantrums and he talks back. I love him though, even if I want to hit him half the time.

Where is he?

It’s getting later. I don’t like this. I want him here, now. Why am I getting so worked up over this? He doesn’t just run off without telling me. I guess I’m just bored. No one’s here. I’d even take Black at this point. I’ll have to move him in, soon. He’d be somebody to talk to, at least.

Maybe *I* should try and make friends. This is getting me nowhere. I can’t just lay here waiting. I get out of bed and get dressed again, wondering what the hell I can do. Something tells me that post-war reconstruction is all about the boredom.

I’m not going to go talk to Lucius. He’ll just be all silky and haughty like he was earlier. Wonder what’s bugging him.

I suppose I can drop in on old Snape. Wonder how he’s holding up? I’ve seen him around a bit, but we never talk or anything. I think he’s still kind of pissed at me. I wonder how he treats Lupin? If he even still has him…

Yeah, I’ll go see Snape. It’s better then lying around worrying about Draco. Not that I’m *worrying*, I’m just wondering. It’s perfectly normal to wonder where he is, when he didn’t leave a note or a message or anything. He’s got to not do this ever again, I’m getting way too worked up over it. I can’t be worked up, not now.

So, Snape.

He’s probably not going to be too happy to see me, but oh well. That’s his problem, not mine. I head out of my room, and just sort of start wandering. I don’t really *want* to see Snape, I just don’t want to lie in bed wondering whereco ico is.

I guess I’m probably obsessing. I’m sure he has a damn good reason as to why he’s not…

Here he is. He’s walking down the hall, swinging his hips and smirking like the cat who got the crème. Where the fuck ahs he been?

“Where the fuck have you been?”

He stares at me like he’s completely shocked to see me. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at me. Do I have two heads all of a sudden? Have a spontaneously turned into a girl? What?

“Ron.”

Well yes, that’s my name. And he keeps on staring at me.

“Where have you been?” I try again, without the curse words.

“Out” Draco says, vaguely. “I thought you were going to be in a meeting all day.”

“Not all day! I’ve been waiting for you…no note, nothing!”

“I didn’t think I needed one.” Draco shrugs, as if it’s no big deal. Doesn’t he see how upset I am?

“Of course you need one! I’ve had no clue where you were!”

“You’re not my mother!” Draco snaps, brushing by me. “I was out. Am I supposed to sit about and twiddle my thumbs while I wait for you to come home?”

“Well…no…” That’s not what I mean. He’s missing the point completely. “But I was worried. I didn’t know where you were.”

“Grow up Ron.” He shoots over his shoulder at me. What a prick! I can’t stand him sometimes!

“Draco…” I jog to catch up to him. He’s in a real mood today, and it’s pissing me off. “Look. Maybe you think I’m overreacting, but I was worried. I’m sorry I flipped on you, but I love you, that’s all.”

He doesn’t say anything, he just sighs and keeps walking towards our room. I follow him, there’s nothing else I can say.

He starts undressing as soon as he’s in. I lick my lips, and I come up behind him, wrapping my arms around him.

“Let me help…” I whisper in his ear.

“I’m not in the mood.” He tells me airily. Since when? Draco’s *never* not in the mood! He’s always in the mood, he *is* the fucking mood! Oh shit. We *are* having problems.

I need to calm down. This is fine. We just…talk about it. I can talk, rationally, like I said I would. That’s all, just talk it out rationally.

“Okay.” I turn him around and I smile at him, and I give him a light kiss. “We can talk.”

“I’m really tired…” He says, stripping down to his pants. I follow suit, trying to be as damn accommodating as I can be. We need to talk about whatever’s going wrong here.

“Yeah, me too.” I agree, slipping into bed. I hold my arms out for him but he crawls into bed and turns his back to me. Okay, I can’t get mad. We’ll just yell and scream, and that *never* fixes anything. I culr up against him, and he gives a weird little sigh.

“Goodnight.” He says, kind of firmly.

“Hey…” I kiss his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him. He’s stiff and tense. “I talked to your father today…”

“Oh?”

“He sort of thought we might be having problems.” Okay, so maybe it’s a bad way to bring it up, but I’m not good at this sort of thing.

“Oh.”

“Are we?” He’s not being very helpful. I keep my voice calm and reasonable, and just sort of curious.

“No.”

“So…what’s with the cold shoulder?” I press, kissing him again. I love the way he tastes.

“Just a long day.” He’s being really vague. Amazingly vague.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Well, I should have seen that coming. At least he’s not trying to pull away, and he’s relaxing. So maybe he *did* just have a bad day. Those happen.

“Okay.” I tell him, and he turns around so he’s facing me and he puts his arms around me. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” He even sounds a little bit more relaxed. He had a bad day, that’s all it was. His father was probably giving him shit or something, who knows. He tucks his head up under my chin, and I’m not real worried anymore.

We’re not having any problems. Not relationship ones, anyway. Our problems are completely separate. He’ll want to talk about it tomorrow, I know he will. He has to be the center of attention. As soon as I start going on about my meeting he’ll start in with ‘I was eaten by hippogriffs!’ or something else that’s ten times worse then whatever happened to me.

But as long as we’re talking, it’s fine.

And that’s the big revelation for me, I think. I’m rising through the ranks of the death eaters, I’m in love with Draco Malfoy, I’m responsible for the deaths of dozens of people…and everything’s fine.

Funny how life turns out, isn’t it?

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