The Taming of the Shrew - Wizard Style - COMPLETE

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10-16-09 F


Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Insights and opinions abound - a writer's paradise. Here are my responses for this set of reviews:

Alecto – I think the shields came down just a little in the warm water of their shared bath. Your description was quite lovely, too. Thank you.

blue artemis – I hope your bad week is now in the past. A thread of connection was formed under those bath bubbles. Will it last? Hmmm…

lemonade8 – Hey lemonade8, you’re closer than you know about Lucius’ changing understanding about Hermione in his life. A bit of trust is forming, but it doesn’t mean Hermione can set aside her self-esteem issues as she compares herself to Narcissa. She has a ways to go, also.

mrequecky – Hermione’s natural personality is controlling, so she would have to try to take the reins in any situation. She wouldn’t trust anyone else to do as good a job as she could. That’s always been her mindset. Luckily, her warrior attitude helped Harry win against Voldemort. It isn’t as useful with Lucius, however, because he wants something different from her.

jw – I assume the bath salts didn’t feel too good under Lucius’ bum either, but his focus wasn’t on that. Not with a naked Hermione in the tub. Maybe the water relaxed their defenses enough for some initial bonding. Water will have a slightly different use in this chapter. Hermione will learn more about Lucius’ little pervert problem soon.

katiekrm – I admit a few comments on my stories have bothered me, but they are not the ones which have reasoned concerns. It’s the sarcastic, superior snippy ones that I don’t care for. Constructive criticism makes my work better (a la you), and even though I’ll examine the few that are cutting, belittling, or disparaging, for nuggets of truth, those do get less attention as bonafide input. And LOL you’re right again. Lucius didn’t give Hermione a chance to say “no” – not to the marriage, not to the wedding night, not to the collar or spanking. I think he’s only speaking of allowing him to have sex with her. I do think he would accept it if she said no to him wanting sex in any given night. But he wouldn’t take that as a blanket “no” to all sex for the future. (I’m laughing here – Lucius is much more pushy than that). Lucius is trying to reach out, but he’s SO not in tune with his Muggleborn wife that he gets confused, then irritated, then incensed at her barbs, then he blows up and she gets spanked again. She’s now working that game to her own advantage. Hermione is very clever, if not terribly sympathetic to her husband yet. She isn’t too aware of his financial disasters so she’s basing his lack of attention solely on her own lack of attractions. Enjoy the firewhiskey for the next few chapters. Lucius says it’s his best.

Linstock – Oh, Linstock, I’m sure the description of the undissolved bath salts feeling gritty was only my finely honed imagination. Really! Um…

Lemontwist – Ooh, another Lucius/Hermione reader! I know you’ll never forsake Snape, nor should you, but adding another pairing that appeals to you and making that pairing include Lucius – priceless! He fascinates me with his Slytherin mind, which is very like Snape’s, but also his engaging charm used for his own purposes, his status-conscious view of the wizarding world, and his ignorance of the Muggles’ world, allows for great latitude in creating his character. It doesn’t hurt that he’s gorgeous, either LOL. Thank you for the wonderful compliment!! That one goes on my computer.

Abbeysmum – Hermione has to get over Lucius’ heinous past, but worse, she has to come to terms with her feelings for him in the present. He draws her physically and she feels like she shouldn’t be interested in a man with a past like his. He is trying to move on with his life and fit into the new wizarding world. So is Snape for that matter. Hermione needs to accept that for Lucius it was a war. Bad things happen in war. Then war is over and people adjust to changed circumstances. The conflict scarred her young mind. She’s very strong and will come about. It just takes time. (At least a few more chapters, anyway, LOL.)

Draco_Lover – It must be difficult seeing and sleeping with a handsome, charismatic man every day and night and not succumb to his magnetism. I’m happy you mentioned seeing the pics. Sometimes I wonder if anyone looks at them besides my LiveJournal cronies.

Sirsevchick – Whoa! Lucius read your review, grabbed his toweling robe and took off. I hope you have plenty of hot water. He tends to splash a lot. Yes, they do seem to talk a bit more if it’s pre- and post-coitus, don’t they? Oh, more misunderstandings are a given but, of course, their relationship does get better. And, of course, the sex never lets up (grin). Lemme see, garden sex…try “Beyond the Veil” chapter 34 http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600014988&chapter=34 ; and “A New Order of Wizards” chapter 22 http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600007234&chapter=22 ; and “Lucius and the Waif” chapter23 (just at the beginning) http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600006908&chapter=23. Sorry, no garden sex in “Taming”.

Pittwitch – Hold up Lucius, Pitt only offered to kiss your shins. That Lucius is a whoopee-making fool. And Hermione is learning from the best. Lucius is edgy, horny, and looks fabulous in water (especially clear water…). The masculine solo pleasure thing…ummmm.

DragonFyre – Lucius loves baths, so if you ask him, he’d probably test your hot water for you. As for Lucius as a superhero? See Apollo, perfect for looks, but Apollo is gay-you can scratch that part for this story. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_%28comics%29) And superheroine Hermione – Callisto (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Callisto_%28comics%29). The summary for the story says ‘Preg’ so, yes, at some point they’ll procreate, but not for a looong time.

BeaBibliophile – Yeah, that mayo reference was subtly vulgar. Never call yourself a poor sliver of meat. I’m sure you’re a prime piece, Bea LOL. And yes, they did each give up a bit of control in the tub. BUT. Don’t thank your gods so quickly. Not quite yet. Lucius and Hermione have made progress, but a little backsliding goes on before they both start pulling their oars in the same direction. In the meantime, enjoy Snape, okay? (Dodges flying, Bea-sized stiletto.)

Rini – Thanks, Rini, for the correction! It’s fixed now. Hugs. Lucius will report on his shins in this next chapter. My mental view of Narcissa is light blonde, willowy, with delicate features, whose face can sneer as well as Lucius’, but in this story she is softer. Lucius got some quality time in Hermione’s bath salts, for sure.

Snapes_Goddess - How many bath scenes can there be? Let me count the ways. And Lucius is profiting from them all. And Lucius getting his hair washed – now I’m feeling eerie. Genius smut writers and all that. Not for many chapters, though.

Lilbitbord – I rather like this Narcissa (as long as she stays away from Lucius). (Hangs head) - I’m not being very nice to Lucius right now, poor man. But I made up for his sore shins with some happy time in the tub. Hermione is not by nature a follower, but I do think Lucius will come to appreciate that.

aliciana – Meg Ryan isn’t a favorite, but Billy Crystal as a love interest?? No, no, no.

Tell me if the ‘boys’ misbehaved in your new spa. Oh! Silly me, never mind (blushes). True civilization between the two is yet a little way off, but the rough edges are being attended to…some. Maybe I should issue blood pressure warnings with my sex scenes… A blond wig for hubby – don’t give me ideas!

Serin Blackmoon – And arigato gozaimasu to you, too! (bows) Yes, there is a crack in the defenses for both of the characters and your measurement of a micrometer forward in their relationship is about right LOL. Lucius apparently understood that Hermione wouldn’t hurt him in the bath.

RayvennTashinki – Welcome! Pull up a comfy chair because this tale is long. I’m glad you’ve found me (waves). Enjoy!

Angeles – Ah, I am happy you like hot and sexy, since I like to write it – snicker. Next chapter coming up!

Aleysiasnape – LOL Hermione is getting to massage quite a bit of Lucius. There isn’t much left she hasn’t had her tiny mitts on now. And she’s doing a sterling job as far as he’s concerned.

Scary Bear Hair – LOL, it’s getting kind of crowded in that tub, with all of us elbowing each other to sit next to (or on top of) Lucius. What a sweet man, he isn’t complaining at all. (Did you feel a hand on your backside just now?) Bathtub sex is always fun to write. Poor Lucius, still swimming upstream against Hermione’s strong will. Maybe the answer is bathtub water to mellow them whenever they fight, because you’re right that Lucius’ idea of him being king of his castle is doomed. The cuddly talking happens later. Hogwarts is still a few chapters away.

Insolence – Hermione takes the part of Lucius that appeals to her and attempts to ignore the rest LOL. That is getting more difficult as time goes by. Thesaurus.com is on my toolbar. I LOVE the thesaurus.

Now, what's happening at Malfoy Manor...

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Chapter Twenty


Snape’s Potent Potion


Lucius' and Hermione's tentative truce in the tub lasted for a few quiet days, but it wasn’t enough to forge any lasting unity quite yet and they returned to their uneven struggles to find a balance in their marriage that didn’t include giving up any control on either side.

Several days later Hermione was thrown over her husband’s lap for throwing a full water goblet at Lucius’ head during lunch when he upbraided her selecting the wrong fork for her fish course. She drenched him and his hair hung in wet clumps as he smacked her rear with real relish, his temper once again unleashed.

This time he didn’t spank her in the privacy of his bedroom. She was seeing the underside of the dining room table as he walloped her, not even counting the strokes. Hermione herself lost count after twenty and it went on until she began to scream, mostly with rage. The chastisement itself was familiar, but the power of the blows was harder. She hadn’t known for sure until this spanking that Lucius had been restraining his smacks before. He was really livid this time and her bum was soon glowing under his hand; it felt like he was using a cast iron frying pan.

Hermione knew she had brought the spanking on herself; he just made her so mad, superciliously correcting her at every move, showing his disappointment along with his opinion that he really couldn’t expect anything better from a lowly Muggleborn. With their chronic lack of communication, she didn’t understand that this spanking had more to do with her trying to pull his tail again, than her poor table manners.

Hermione had taunted him by using the wrong fork on purpose and when he had risen to her baiting with his withering comment on her atrocious behavior, she had snapped and picked up the nearest missile and launched it at her nemesis. She was learning that she had a temper to match his and it was war between them. The feeling was glorious – until she’d been thrown across his knees and even then she’d felt that lusty rush until the swats had kept coming and coming.

It never occurred to her to cower in the face of his anger. She had even imagined biting his thigh as she lay there being punished, but she finally decided somewhere between spank eight and twelve, that her precarious position over his knee wasn’t conducive to a counterattack on him just then.

However, when he finally ran down and let her up from her ignominious punishment and began to lecture her about her coarse behavior, meaning her constant taunting of him, she saw more red than was now decorating her rear and, before she thought, she hauled off and slapped his face so hard his water-drenched hair swung over his eyes and stuck to his nose.

Hermione knew she’d used the wrong fork on purpose, knew she’d ignited his temper just to see him blow up, but had assumed he’d been talking about her table etiquette and she was as incensed at him as she was angry with her own idiocy at bringing his rough justice down onto her bum. She instantly disapparated leaving a stunned wizard sitting alone in his formal dining room.

Lucius had never, ever been treated to a retaliatory strike from Narcissa. She had always had her own power to make him feel just a little sorry for spanking her by trying pitifully not to cry and failing. The sex afterward was especially tender. They had both known the score and had, without words, enjoyed the dominant/ submissive side of their marriage, but those spankings had been fueled by lust, not anger. The play arguments powering the spankings had been foreplay for them both.

St. Pan on a pogostick! This new wife wasn’t playing by the rules at all. Lucius idly pulled his wet hair back off his face and contemplated what had happened. His cheek hurt like it had been blasted by dragon’s breath, but his icy eyes began to crinkle at the corners. He had wanted a firecracker in bed and it seemed he now had one.

She had a strong right arm, surprising for such a small woman. It occurred to him that when he had complained of her coarse behavior, he meant her attempts to rile him, while she obviously thought he was still referring to her inadequate table manners. He didn’t think that was going to occur to her, though, unless he clarified things and he decided not to try.

Snape was entirely correct. It was he, Lucius, who had gone about it all the wrong way. Hermione was no more like Narcissa than a raging lioness was like a kneazle (although he thought Hermione’s half-kneazle looked kind of vicious).

He had wanted her fiery nature, but had been trying his best to subdue it - to stuff Hermione into his preconceived box of a rigid Pureblood marriage. He hadn’t taken the time to sort through the nuances of Hermione as an individual because he’d been so focused on his dwindling fortune and all the financial catastrophes bombarding him.

Lucius sat at the table, the water dripping from his bedraggled hair and clothing unnoticed, as he thought over exactly what he wanted from his wife. He liked to dominate a relationship and that was what he had had with Narcissa, so what was it about that long ago bout of sex with Bellatrix that still drew him? The wicked bint had been completely unrestrained in her enthusiasm and sexual hunger and she had loved his rough handling of her. Actually he had been encouraged by the crazy harpy to conquer her as she fought him, then lost. He had really liked sexually subduing her, asserting his masculine power, while knowing his physical strength wouldn’t truly harm her.

Today he had been treated to a sylphlike young woman fighting his angry spanking of her with a well-aimed, open-handed right cross; his jaw would probably have a bruise. He hadn’t seen the blow coming, but he remembered Draco complaining of being socked by her years ago and thought maybe he was lucky to have only received a slap.

Lucius grinned. This boded well for them having the kind of sex he’d longed for in the bedroom - as long as he never lost control of the situation and that was by no means guaranteed with this woman. Poor Narcissa would never have thought of smacking him. His ex was definitely better off with Snape who always wanted to wield the wand, whether it was made of wood, cane, leather, or flesh and who neither brooked disobedience nor wanted any.

Lucius sat back, rubbing his cheek and smiling. Gods, he wanted his prick in his little wife. Ruefully, he understood she wasn’t exactly waiting for him wearing her collar.

Lucius apparated to his bathroom, dried himself off and changed clothes, then flooed Snape from the fireplace in his study and went for a quick visit to discuss his change in strategy.

~~~~~~~

Lucius entered Snape’s laboratory through the floo in a flash of green flame, and hurried over to the lab counter, dusting off the ubiquitous ashes he detested from his clothing. A mild Scourgify removed the rest of the debris from his pristine robes.

The dark-haired wizard waved the Pureblood to a seat on the other side of his workspace, but didn’t take his eye off his task. Lucius was nothing if not predictable about his disgust for that mode of travel, so it must be important to have him coming through the floo.

“So how is your sociological experiment progressing, pitting Pureblood against Muggleborn?” Severus asked idly as he poured a stream of some noxious purple liquid into his large, black cauldron. He dipped his finger gingerly into the pot and quickly withdrew, sucked up the liquid, nodded once, and began gently stirring the brew.

The former Potions Master had on a black chemist’s apron protecting his black trousers and white formal shirt; the sleeves were rolled up his forearms showing a surprisingly healthy, lightly tanned spread of skin overlaid with a sprinkle of back hairs, and the Death Eaters’ fearsome, but now static tattoo on his left forearm. His face was glowing with color, too - perhaps from the heat of his cauldron.

Lucius set his cane against one of the bookshelves, then divested himself of his fur-trimmed cape, carefully folding it on a stool. He grumpily settled onto another of the uncomfortable stools across the table from the ex-Potions Master, slowly pulling off his black leather gloves, finger by finger.

“That is my wife you are talking about and my marriage is not an experiment,” the blond wizard admonished, his chin in the air. “Please do not make the mistake of thinking I won’t defend her to the death with a wand duel, if necessary. And my shin is finally turning yellow from your boot, thank you.” Lucius tucked his gloves tenderly into his cape pocket.

Snape just rolled his eyes and continued stirring, concentrating on his mixture, “You deserved the bruises,” he said, unimpressed, not bothering to look up as Lucius shrugged indifferently. A few quiet minutes ticked by as the two wizards just enjoyed each other’s company, listening to the cauldron’s contents swish and slop against the sides.

Several minutes later Snape was able to look up from his concoction. He lampooned his comrade scornfully, “As for you defending your wife? Wand duel, my arse. You couldn’t hex the broad side of Hagrid with that thing.”

“Oh very well,” Lucius huffed, but his icy eyes gleamed, betraying his impish enjoyment of Snape’s derision, “just don’t make fun of her, that’s all. I don’t like it.” Feeling he had defended Hermione enough, the blond wizard answered Snape’s original query, “She’s learning to enjoy what I require from her physically, and we occasionally find some common ground, but it’s only in the bedroom. She still basically thinks I’m a sadistic troll with not a single admirable quality. I’m constantly under bombardment from her nasty tongue. I know she still blames me for accepting her stupid marriage contract.”

“And when she learns the rest of it, you will probably be missing more than her lack of goodwill. Can one still father children if one’s right testicle is torn off?” Snape’s lips quirked briefly before he resumed his concentration on the cauldron, not expecting an answer to his rhetorical gibe. “ You’d better tell her soon or she’s going to wake up one morning in Dumbledore’s old bed wondering how she got there.”

"Well, I’ve already told her I was needed for Hogwarts, but not why she was needed. Having to tell your wife that the Ministry thinks you’re a pervert rankles,” Lucius groused, then he brightened. “Ah, yes, I did want to mention one tiny detail,” Lucius smiled evilly at Snape who immediately paid more attention.

“And what tiny detail is that?” Snape’s deep voice went silky much like his blond friend’s did when either of their suspicions was aroused.

“Hmmm? Oh, nothing too important. Dreary, really. I mentioned to Hermione that I was being politely coerced into helping you with this Hogwarts plan. In effect, you were blackmailing me due to some minor peccadilloes of mine from long ago.”

“So you’ve painted me the villain and yourself the innocent victim?” Severus cocked his head, spearing his friend with his obsidian eyes.

“Of course not,” Lucius was affronted, “I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not a bleeding heart do-gooder in any case, and the only way I would do this job was under duress. I was essentially a selfish Slytherin protecting my backside from a bit of blackmail.”

“While kicking my backside into the dustbin of lost reputations.”

Lucius scoffed, “You lost your reputation with her when she was twelve. She said you made little girls cry.” Smiling at Snape’s disgusted look, the blond craftily cajoled, “Is taking some responsibility for sending Hermione back to Hogwarts and reviving her nightmares too much to ask of you? I’m newly married and I do not wish to be the sole, responsible party for making my wife relive her worst nightmares. She still has them, you know.”

Snape slowly stirred his cauldron, deep in thought. Finally he looked up and nodded, “I didn’t know she still suffered in any way from the war. We both know it’s too late for you to back out now and she’s still necessary. I’ll accept the blame for squeezing you on your peccadilloes. Which ones are they, by the way?” A glimmer of amusement briefly lifted Severus’ mouth to one side.

“Murky, very, very murky, and quite unenumerated. In effect, I lied.” Lucius reached over and withdrew his off-kilter wand from his cane and pointed it in mock menace at the dark-haired wizard, “And my fake, shadowy transgressions will stay that way. You aren’t to embroider my fabricated youthful lapses with any violent or perverted tendencies, letting Hermione ‘reluctantly’ dig them out of you. I’m having enough trouble getting her to see me as even human.”

“Oh very well,” Snape sniffed, annoyed at being so accurately second-guessed, “although I had thought to brighten up your love life with a specious account of young Lucius bringing a sheep into the dungeons for some one-on-one.” Snape raised both eyebrows utterly failing to look innocently helpful as he gleefully absorbed the glower that decorated the blond’s face.

Lucius snorted, “I doubt that Hermione would even understand the nuances of that particular panorama. It wouldn’t ever occur to her that I might use the sheep for buggery. She’d likely think I was going to put it in old Slughorn’s bed or some other innocent bit of tomfoolery.”

At that, the two wizards grinned together at Hermione’s naiveté and Snape changed the subject, “What did you do to your cheek?”

“I ran into a door,” Lucius said sarcastically.

“It looks a lot like a small handprint,” Snape’s onyx eyes danced.

“Oh, shut it. This was your idea in the first place. It sounded good at the time, but then you knew I’d be interested.” Lucius muttered, “Officious git.” Snape ignored the sour attitude. They both knew Lucius wouldn’t have accepted the marriage if he hadn’t wanted to, but it tickled Snape that Lucius had been walloped by his petite wife. That would have been a sight worth a few knuts.

After another companionable silence, Lucius sniped good-naturedly, “I was so damned tired of even the little bed-hopping I did.” He sighed ostentatiously, “I wanted someone of my own, since the one I had jumped ship into your lap.”

Snape paused briefly to look at Lucius before reaching for a small vial of dark red liquid, which he added to his cauldron, “According to the Daily Prophet you’re quite the tart. A new woman every night to hear them tell it.” When Lucius half-rose, his eyes sparking with anger, Snape grinned. “Calm down. I know you better than that. But why are you looking for sympathy at this late date? You and Narcissa were rotten together. You heard her at dinner and you both knew it, anyway. Why your parents thought Narcissa a good match for you amazes me. Didn’t they know you at all? Judging by that doorprint on your cheek, I’d say you now have your heart’s desire. You know you have no respect for anyone you can bully.”

“I suppose you don’t bully Narcissa?”

“Well, of course I do,” Severus rejoined, “but it’s not at all the same as your methods. Narcissa always knows where she is with me. My rules are strict but steady. You made her mental with your mercurial temper; she never knew which way you were going to explode or when. She was a nervous wreck with you. We don’t have that problem at all.”

Snape tossed a stream of white crystals into his cauldron, then cut up a whole lemon into the pot. “Plus, unlike you, I do have quite a lot of respect for Narcissa for having put up with you for so long. The woman’s a saint. And we both know you need a red-hot sinner.”

Snape stopped stirring the cauldron to empty two flasks of sparkly clear liquid into the brew and intoned a spell cooling the mixture significantly. He stirred it several more times, then glared at Lucius in exasperation.

“Well? Are you expecting me to serve you? The sangria’s ready. If you want some, get your own beaker.” Snape ladled a healthy portion of the red-purple liquid concoction into his beaker and sipped, tasting it, then took a long swig. “Perfection.” He accepted the beaker Lucius brought him and measured out an equally healthy portion for his friend.

Lucius sipped his sangria** delicately, smiling when Severus snorted at him for straightening his pinkie finger off the beaker as though he held a delicate china teacup. “This is an improvement over your last batch,” opined the elegant Pureblood, “Is there a touch of hot sauce? Is that the secret? I would have thought too much spice would ruin the wine.”

Severus gazed limpidly over the top of his beaker, “I got the recipe when Narcissa and I were in Spain. It’s the new ingredient that acts as a catalyst. I do think it has made a better flavor. But perhaps I put in a little too much. I’ll have to use just a half a cup of the bat guano next time.”

Lucius froze with a mouthful of sangria, then he spewed it out all over his beautiful robes. “What the fuck? That’s disgusting!” He used his sleeve to wipe his mouth, then spat on the floor a couple of times.

Severus laughed outright, a warm smile lighting his normally saturnine features, “Just a joke, Lucius. Why on earth would you think I would add bat guano to sangria?”

Lucius stared. “My Gods, that’s even more bizarre. When did you ever make a joke, then laugh? Have you been imperiused? You’re frightening me, old friend.”

Severus’ face resumed its normal phlegmatic expression and he looked down his nose at the other wizard, “I’m learning to enjoy humor from my wife if it’s any of your business. She had to have a lot of it to stay married to you. And life has been more pleasant since I married her. I’m finding that humor for its own sake has some positive points.” He eyed the trails of sangria dripping down Lucius’ fastidious person with a decided twinkle, but forbore to comment any more.

Lucius covertly searched Snape’s serene face for any sarcasm and came away stunned. It was true - Severus, who was younger than Lucius by nearly six years, suddenly was looking even younger. Lucius realized that some of the lines of habitual bitterness had faded from the man’s face leaving a calmer, more attractive visage. Narcissa was five years older than her new husband, but Lucius realized she was looking younger and much happier, too.

Lucius grimaced - had he been such a poor spouse to Narcissa? Asked too much? Allowed too little? The blond wizard began to wonder if indeed he was old like Hermione continually informed him. And too rigid. Perhaps marrying the much younger woman had been a mistake for them both. His optimistic plans for their future dimmed.

Lucius eyed his sangria but didn’t drink any more. “I’m happy for you both. But your heavenly marriage isn’t why I’m here.” He got out his wand and cleaned up his robes muttering that he’d have to change again, then intoned, “Aguamenti,” filling an empty beaker with water that poured from the end of his wand.

Lucius gargled with the water and spit it out into the laboratory sink. “I don’t know when I’m ever going to enjoy another glass of sangria, thanks to you. Persecuted here and at home. What have I done to deserve being jeered at by my friend and vilified by my wife? Never mind, I’m sure you could tell me in excruciating detail and I’m not in the mood to hear it. I just want your opinion on what to do about Hermione’s attitude toward me.”

Snape negligently leaned back against his counter, “How is she adjusting to the corporal side of things?”

“Oh, she pretends she’s being tortured against her will, but she likes it well enough. I introduced the collar and she hasn’t objected nearly as much as I thought she might. I haven’t used it much yet, though. Just breaking her in with wearing it. And I wear one too, so I imagine she feels less threatened.” A fleeting predatory grin arced across his face, then Lucius sobered again.

He rose and started pacing, “I’m just getting tired of being cast as the devil incarnate when I’m merely a husband who likes a little kinky sex with his wife. All I want is a little spanking here and there, a bit of fun with one of us tied to the bedposts occasionally, and maybe later, some playacting and anal sex. Is that too much to ask? I am quite willing to play submissive to her in return, if she wants.

“But no, she can’t let go of her puritanical idea that she shouldn’t be enjoying it, especially with a nasty man like me. That makes it fun in some ways, but extremely enervating in others. I think she’s starting to like the spanking, but she begins to feel guilty for enjoying the sex, then she lambastes me for whatever little things I happen to mention for the next few days. Then I get angry and we have another fight. It’s a vicious circle.”

“You, a submissive?” Snape snorted in disbelief. “You’re as submissive as a Hungarian Horntail in heat.” Then his lips quirked, “Well, that analogy may be rather accurate, actually, since you’ll do practically anything for sex. In any case, I don’t think you pretending to cower in your collar will ultimately be what Miss Headstrong Granger wants from a husband. She could have had that with the youngest Weasley and that marriage plan went nowhere.” Snape effectively skewered that idea with unassailable logic and Lucius sighed, seeing that he was probably right.

“So, then, what are these little things you happen to mention to her that she lambastes you for, so cruelly?” Snape lifted an interrogative eyebrow following the other wizard’s perambulations with skeptical eyes. He knew his comrade very well and instantly smelled a blond-haired rat.

“Oh, just her manners, her research business with those messy owl deliveries, her flea-bitten Kneazle - small things really.” Lucius bridled at Snape’s heavy-lidded disbelief. “Well, they’re small things, but they need to be corrected.” Lucius groused, “Is it too much to ask for a wife who behaves in a civilized manner, but won’t wilt under my temper and who likes to play a little rough in the bedroom and admits it?”

He turned and frowned at Severus who was trying unsuccessfully to keep a straight face, “Just remember you don’t have my problem because I broke your wife in for you, although to hear you tell it, she endured twenty years of constant mindfuck with me. So do try to look like you have a little compassion even if you don’t feel any. That smug smile isn’t helping me.”

“Sorry, old fellow,” said Snape with not much sympathy.

“Please! Not that word from you, too. Old!” he spat. “Hermione’s a Muggleborn and can’t grasp the idea that my age is not old for a wizard. I’ve certainly demonstrated it enough to her physically. Well?”

Snape waved his nearly empty beaker in negation, “I find you a wife and now you expect marriage counseling, too? As difficult as it must be for you, try to see the world from someone else’s point of view occasionally. The vista is usually quite enlightening.” Snape savored the last of his latest adjustment to his sangria recipe, draining his beaker. Yes, that touch of hot sauce did add a nice tang.

The blond saw that Snape’s attention had veered to his latest brew and Lucius wanted answers. Then he remembered the odd phrase from Hermione’s description of the turkey baster and tried it on the Halfblood to redirect his attention. “Did you know that men jack off?”

“I’m aware of the phrase, yes, although I haven’t had occasion to partake for nearly three years.” Snape’s lips quirked up, this time in a taunting smile.

“You began courting Narcissa three years ago, and you’ve only been married a year,” Lucius accused.

“That is correct,” Snape agreed and now his smile was full blown if a bit catty.

“Narcissa wouldn’t do anything with me until we were married,” Lucius groused.

“Narcissa didn’t come to me a scared virgin, thank the Gods. Are you staying for dinner? I think we’re having a roast tonight.”

“No. I try to always eat dinner at home. Hermione has the table manners of the typical lower class. I work on them as I see her mistakes.” It was his responsibility to teach Hermione the finer points of his status-conscious world, not that she saw it that way, witness his unscheduled noontime bath. Seeing Severus’ reproving glance, Lucius picked up his cane and donned his outerwear.

Snape offered slyly, “Narcissa and I like to eat on trays in front of the fire.” He watched Lucius’ mouth drop open and had another chuckle at the blond’s expense.

“Tell me that was another lie,” pleaded the snobby Pureblood.

“Sorry. My wife and I enjoy a simple life. Narcissa says the money we save on washing forks and glassware alone is a small fortune.” Snape moved with Lucius just to the edge of the laboratory hearth, “And dinner is over much faster that way, leaving time for more interesting activities. Not that we don’t enjoy the occasional formality of your table. You and Hermione are invited to dinner one evening if you wish. Let us know.”

“Are you sure you have enough trays?” Lucius jeered sarcastically.

“Not a problem. We can share the two we have,” Snape chuckled at Lucius’ long-suffering headshake. “Give my regards to your wife.”

As Lucius moved past Severus toward the floo, he looked more closely at the dark-haired wizard, “You look different,” he announced. “Is that sunburn on your face?” In all the years Lucius had known Snape, the man had never shown any preference for the outdoors.

“Just a bit of nude sunbathing on the back terrace with Narcissa,” Snape urbanely replied, a bland smile totally at odds with the devilish twinkle in his midnight eyes.

He watched a culture-shocked Lucius throw the green floo powder and vanish for his home. Severus immediately went to find his wife. He couldn’t wait to tell Narcissa about his success with the bat guano joke and that Hermione had clocked her new husband. That news deserved a kiss at the very least.

~~~~

Lucius arrived in his study and realized he hadn’t had any help from the sunburned git at all. But he had kept silent, allowing Snape his illusions about Narcissa’s virginity. When she came to Lucius’ bed as his wife, neither of them had been virgins for quite a while. The only reason she hadn’t let Lucius touch her before their marriage was the idea of it being forced on her by their parents. It hadn’t sat well with either of them, but they had both known their duty and done it. Did Narcissa know that Snape had thought her a virgin? How had he missed her exploits in Hogwarts if he had searched her mind? Lucius guessed Snape had only delved enough to find out Narcissa’s feelings for him. The older depths of her mind hadn’t been explored apparently. Interesting. And rather gentlemanly of the dark-haired wizard.

**Sangria-how to make:
http://www.foodbuzz.com/blogs/uk/england/88868-sangria-the-taste-of-joy-and-summertime

tbc...

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Review? Rate? Hello? *looks around* Did everyone go to Snape's for sangria?


Don’t forget this chapter’s pics -

http://labibliographe.livejournal.com/52629.html
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