As If In Wonderland

“Is anyone doing anything for Christmas?”, Hermione asked thoughtfully while laying on a rug in front of the burning fireplace in the library, Voldemort was writing notes as he always did from various books. He looked up and chuckled, “what?”

“One: you said you wanted it to be just you and me for this Christmas day thing tomorrow, two: no one is organising anything and three: its amusing to see you lying on the floor like a slave”, he spoke softly making her pout.

“Anyway…I would like to spend Christmas with you, no distractions…no work…but maybe in the evening we could hold a celebration? I like them”

“We could have a celebration of our own”, he smirked.

“Sometimes I wish you wasn’t so interested in sex, but then again, you give me a lot of pleasure though its quite painful most of the time”

“it’s the best kind. Why are you on the floor, its annoying me now?”

“Its cosy down here, nice and warm”

“You know the same goes for my lap”, he sat back as if inviting her to sit on his lap, “or do you prefer the floor?”

“I like it anywhere, the floor, your lap…up against the wall…”, she winked before giggling as he opened his mouth slowly. “Though it looks like you are busy, I wouldn’t want to disturb your work”

“Little minx”, he growled, “I will put you in your place later, you are correct I’m busy and I would like to continue in peace”, Hermione tutted at his use of the word peace but didn’t say anything.
Hermione moved up and sat on the edge of the sofa Voldemort was sitting on, listening to the scratches of his quill against parchment and watching interestedly at his serious expression as he wrote. “Is there something fascinating about me writing?”

“Yes actually…and I have a question, though it is a bit random…”

“Please enlighten me with this question”, Voldemort smirked but still did not look up.

“What is the next step? I mean, you have everything, now the challenge is keeping it that way…but is there no another goal you would like to set yourself? Something more personal maybe?”

“I have no goals for me as a person if that is what you mean”

“Well, even if you set yourself no more goals you should at least be prepared for anything that may happen…”

“what are you getting at?”, Voldemort asked impatiently.

“Nothing in particular, just wondered…anyway, is there anything I can do? Im bored…anything at all?”, Hermione changed the subject abruptly.

“You sound quite ungrateful, I don’t have to do anything for you or give you something to do”

“I know you don’t, but you are still able to”, Hermione sighed, “I haven’t done anything in weeks, my mind is going dead from boredom…”

“I promise you that from now on it will be back how it was before, you coming with me on my travels, assisting me and serving me”

“Really? I don’t wish to be a death eater and you know that…I don’t really like the word ‘serving’ either, I feel like a slave…im not-you don’t still see me as that do you?”, she narrowed her eyes.

“No I don’t, you are a very willing wife, who quite likes to please me. I wish for you to be by my side more often as you have rarely had the chance to…I have nothing planned ahead till the day after Christmas, when I am going to Canada in the hopes of finding a dark relic once owned by my ancestor, I have researched and it is more than likely to be there. I see what you are thinking, no it is nothing special in that way, it just curses whoever wears it-but if found worthy enough to wear it, it wont. I just want it because I wish to own all of my ancestors possessions”

“Wear it? Is it like a necklace or something?”

“A crown actually. I have no wish to wear it of course, it rightfully belongs to me and is located in Canada because it is where Salazar visited often…don’t worry about the details. Would you like to come with me?”

“I would love to…”

“Then its settled. Now I still have letters to write to many leaders around the world, must keep up to date with these things before chaos happens-you know, I don’t think I should be telling you so much”

“It’s up to you what you tell me…”, Hermione replied while getting up and putting her hair up with a bow she made appear. “If you don’t mind, I am going to train”

“Train? Since when do you do training voluntarily?”

“Since I decided to. Nothing magical, I just need to get fit, weeks of lying down has made me feel weak in my body, also I guess you need to have a healthy strong body to be able to cope with magic, and a split in two soul”, she added with a moan.

“You should still be resting, you could do some damage to yourself and I cant have that”

“Ive been resting for weeks, unconscious and now im bored. Im still tired and im feeling under the weather, I just need to wake myself up a bit…Look I wont be using any magic, I just want to get a bit more fit-plus doing that will help my body cope more…It might even be better for me than just resting”

“Very well, though it sounds very muggle like”

“im muggleborn, there is nothing wrong with muggles!”

“I never said there was”

“If you say so…im going to run and attempt to do some stuff like handstands…just for the fun of doing a handstand”, she laughed before getting up and skipping off without another word. Voldemort sat gob smacked, she was like a cross between a little girl, a wise old woman and a energy filled teenager…he liked the fact that she was the only person to laugh in front of him while talking to him, not a smirk or a formal chuckle but a real happy laugh. He shook his head of the thoughts and growled at himself, realising how weak he must be to think such stupid things.

“I will show her, im not weak”, he said to himself darkly.

*.

Hermione had never been good at sports, or anything related, she was rubbish on a broom and even when she was younger before she knew she was a witch she never joined in the ball game in the playground at school. She knew this and remembered it well, not as bad memories, just plain memories from her past…she always preferred to read.
She remembered it as she drank a goblet of water after jogging and doing various other things, she wasn’t fat but she wasn’t fit either so she grew tired easily-plus the fact her body was still healing itself from the incident with Bellatrix before, it wore her out quickly.
She lay down the goblet in the small empty room she had been using, and sighed, a visit to the hospital about feeling under the weather brought her a diagnosis she never expected. The training was to keep fit, but also to keep her mind off of things.
She stood up and went to do a handstand just because she found it fun, she used to do it when she was very young.

“What are you doing?”, Hermione fell down in a heap on the floor after being surprised with the amused voice of Lucius Malfoy.

“I was doing a handstand”, she replied as she rubbed down the creases that had appeared in her black top and shorts.

“Oh I never knew you were so good at gymnastics”, Lucius said with a sarcastic grin to match his tone of voice. “Well I heard you were supposed to be resting, it doesn’t look like you are doing too well at that”

“I get bored easily”

“I cant tell…The dark lord wants to see you, he isn’t in a good mood either”

“He was okay earlier…”, Hermione groaned as she got up, “he’s like a child. What is it that he wants?”

“Just come with me before I curse you! Stop asking questions for once, it is annoying to say the least!”, Lucius spat and headed out the doors leaving Hermione to quickly run after him.

*.

Hermione was surprised to find herself in the great hall along with the inner circle of death eaters standing in their usual circle, Voldemort was stood waiting, not looking happy at all. Lucius pushed her forward before taking his place, she didn’t say anything knowing it was best to wait for him to start.

“Why are you wearing that?”, he asked calmly, Hermione looked on puzzled before looking down and realising she was still only wearing shorts and a strappy top.

“I was doing exercise, it’s easier to do it in these sort of clothes-”

“-so you come in my presence, as well as my inner circle, without bothering to change-are you trying to dress provocatively?”

“No of course not milord! I had no idea your inner circle would be here, and I just didn’t think to change clothes. Can you explain why im here and you don’t seem to happy to see me either…”, Hermione spoke softly but feeling anxious at his tone of voice change from earlier that day.

“I bring you here to give you three options. One: you may go off, back to your life outside of these walls, im going to let you free to do whatever you wish to do”, Hermione’s mouth dropped. “two, you may stay here, as you are, as my wife…and that is it. Your knowledge and magic unused and left to stay inside your head, nothing else whatsoever. Or three, you stay as you are at the moment, and also agree to joining my inner circle, being given tasks my inner circle would be given and you will follow them. Make a decision, because if you don’t…lets just say you wont be sleeping well for weeks. So, what is it going to be?”, Voldemort looked amused at her expression.

“Huh! I mean what? I-I have no idea what the hell in Merlin all that means, or anything”

“It is simple, three choice-I am being generous, im giving you choices. Now pick one”

“I cant! You have just put me on the spot, for no reason”

“Speak respectfully”

“I apologise then milord”, she snarled and glanced to her side to see Draco standing silently, waiting for her answer like everyone else. “I-I cant do this, why now?”

“After tomorrow you will be following whichever path of the three options you choose”

“So…I don’t know. You are letting me go milord? Be free again?…but there is nothing left for me out there, nothing at all because you took it all. And I don’t want to be a mindless bored object who hangs on your arm every now and again in public so you can look good”, she said nervously. “I have never wanted to be a death eater, you know that”

“Make a decision, I have much to do today and my inner circle are growing impatient like myself”, Voldemort spoke as calmly as ever, but she could see in his eyes he wasn’t. “You will hurry wife, there are more important matters to attend to”

“You gave me the choice of freedom because you know I wont take it and you know I hate not using my mind, you know I hate not learning and getting more knowledge…you left me with no choice on purpose!”, she cried but silenced as soon as she saw him clutching his wand tightly.
“Merry Christmas milord, you just got a new member of your inner circle”, she sneered with closed eyes, they snapped open as she felt a wand pressed against her chest.

“My dear wife, I knew you would make the decision, because I know really you want it. You have always wanted to be a part of things”, Voldemort said, while raising his wand and twirling it around a ringlet of her hair.

“I wanted to be a part of you more, as a wife…”, she breathed heavily, she lowered her voice so only he could hear, “I have done much to prove I would be a good wife for the dark lord. I have done most of the things you have asked, I have tortured so many I have lost count, killed people I do and don’t know, and caused a massacre without breaking a sweat. You seem to forget something though, Im young and still only a teenager, I have done so much even just a rare few would do in a lifetime. So milord, have I not done enough to prove I am good enough? That I must join your inner circle, be a death eater to show you?”

“No, I know what you are capable of. There is no denying that you are powerful. Let me see your dark mark”, Hermione raised her left arm, the black mark boldly displayed to the room. “This may sting”, he placed his wand on it and muttered a spell in Latin Hermione didn’t recognise, she winced as she felt her mark burn and glow red before returning to its normal black colour.
“You mark before just showed who you belong too mainly. Now it has the same functions as the marks on all my death eaters”

“gives you even more control over me doesn’t it…”, Hermione sighed as she stroked the ring on her finger.

He ignored her and motioned for her to join his death eaters, she frowned but stood herself next to Draco who gave her a comforting smile.
“I believe I must apologise for the minor moment there on behalf of Hermione, though I believe you will be pleased to have witnessed the confirmation of her service to me as a follower”, his eyes flickered to Hermione’s as if daring her to say something, she didn’t as she knew he was doing it on purpose but she was not at all happy about being part of his inner circle-she knew it would mean she would have to do more things she didn’t like, at least when she wasn’t part of it she had that bit of freedom when he wasn’t home.
“I will be travelling after Christmas for a few days, so I wont be here, so normal duties will take place-of there is any problems speak to Severus who will know how to inform me. Understood? Good. I will be alone, but when I return I wish for a few reports to be made on muggle parliament-ever since I brought back a president/prime minister for them as I have no time for such petty things, I believe it is more likely for occurrences to happen…see to it that things run as smoothly as ever”, Voldemort continued as if thinking aloud. “Draco, what is your task?”

Draco bowed his head before looking up and stating clearly, “to interrogate a pureblood witch in connection with a number of incidents lately”

“Very good, you will do this some time im away…I believe Hermione should assist you”

“-But I thought, I thought you said before that I could go with you milord”, Hermione muttered.

“I changed my mind, and you are still healing from your coma. You are treading on thin ice now, your attitude must change. I would have tortured you so much in the last ten minutes that you wouldn’t be able to walk-however, it could slow down you healing process which would put you out of action for even longer”

“I didn’t say anything!”, she was met by a flesh ripping backhand, Voldemorts wedding ring catching her cheek causing a lot of pain and blood, Hermione threw one palm over it but didn’t show any other sign she was in pain though she was.

“Magical punishments might slow down your healing process but muggle punishment doesn’t affect it, consider that a light punishment”

“Oh don’t worry, I know how light a punishment that is, for you that is”, Hermione winced as her cheek throbbed but healed it soon after with a flick of her wand. “Of course I must apologise for whatever thing I did wrong”

Voldemort ignored her, “You all know of what you must do over the next few days, I suspect more challenges for the future though. I want lesson times increased too at Hogwarts, I wish for intelligent future potential followers and death eaters, better spent learning than playing around with who they call their friends…”, he announced, “Lucius I believe you can sort this out…you are still a governor of some kind if I am correct and have connections at the school…Draco being your son”

“Of course milord”, Lucius replied with eyes downward.

“I don’t want death eaters as young as Draco, unless for special circumstances…Draco does well in all he does, but I admit I would prefer someone a few years older in future, a bit of life skill is key. You are all dismissed, except Hermione”, a dozen pops later, and it was just the two of them left.

“You wished to see me milord?”, she said mockingly as he circled her.

“You are special you could say, to me that is, very much so and it is mainly because I care for you…for reasons I don’t know. I brought you into my inner circle today, so your potential is used, you are still my wife…and I will treat you the same, you are not a death eater”

“I feel like I am”

“You’re not, but I don’t appreciate your attitude, it will change and I wont hesitate to force you to be respectful, and I wont apologise for hitting you”

“I know that and I don’t really care. It was just a bit of a shock being made from average dark lord wife, to member of his inner circle…”

“If it makes you feel any better, you never were and never will be just ‘average’”, he whispered calmly, though still circling her as if she was prey. “Do you find me intimidating?”

“Yes and you know it”, she rolled her eyes, “tell me…why are you doing this? You are being so…dark lord-like”, he chuckled as she pouted. “Seriously, why?”

“I just wish for you to see me as who I am, not what you want me to be. You believe I have changed into some kind man who gives cookies to house elves at Christmas. Im not, I am the same as ever, you changed and I think you thought it was the other way round”

“I didn’t for a second think that…and the cookie thing? Seriously”, she couldn’t help but giggle at it. “Im not your death eater, even if you say im not you will soon think of me as one-I will never agree to that. I was already serving you, and I just wanted to be more involved with what was going on…look im not getting moody over it because you are still the dark lord and its up to you about these things, I don’t exactly has a say in it. doesn’t matter…”

“You are correct, though I have been lenient to you”

“I appreciate it”, Hermione replied though didn’t look up at him. “And I guess im ok with the whole inner circle thing, its just you put me on the spot…and it was so random”

“I trust you to do well”, he came closer and stroked the cheek he had hit before.

“I always do my best”, she half smirked. “Milord…how long will it be till I am healed properly do you think?”

“A week maybe…”

“oh ok, so that is when you are going to make me do your bidding properly then?”

“of course”, he murmured as he placed his wand carefully into his inner pocket, “you wont mind will you…you like a bit of action, you were quite gifted at getting people to cooperate with me”

“I just know how to use a good curse, and more importantly when to use it”

“I know and it makes you even more perfect. I have places to be now but I wanted to make the time to speak to you. I will probably see you in the morning, don’t stay up to late…Santa wont come”, he added with a hint of amusement.

“Im not a child, though I probably will go to bed early I feel tired and a bit ill to be honest”

“Go to the hospital then and avoid wearing such clothes without my permission in the presence of others”, he kissed her forehead before walking past, , “oh and I do agree you aren’t a child, hell you’re practically old enough to have your own kids. Plus only a woman could please me how much you please me”, he smirked before disappearing.

“I hate that guy”, Hermione said to herself with a groan, “no I don’t…and I hate that I don’t. he thinks im going to fail as a member of his inner circle, well I will surprise him”, she spoke confidently.
“Hell yes, im ‘practically old enough to have kids’ ”, she then sighed with a hand placed gently across her stomach, “I will surprise him…”.
___

Hmmm?
Hermione is a good and bad, think of her as Jekyll and Hyde, sometimes she can be a very good person and hate all that Voldemort does…but other times that bad streak comes through she will cause massacres and not even care. Its what living with the dark lord does to you…

And yes Lyra I do like the idea of such opposite things being fused together. A rose that signifies love and beauty and a horcrux that represents the darkness and cruelty. I do tend to use that idea often because I like the juxtaposition of things J