rate_review Reviews

loved the story. i have two (in my opinion) really good ideas for a story. if you are interested, let me know. i have so many ideas, problem is im not a good writer. email me at lalyta8@hotmail.com

RE: chapter six

Holy cow, Hermione cast an unforgiveable curse without a wand--WICKED!

OW, poor Hermione to have been raped for her first time and losing her virginity--bummer.
:p

'... Voldemort was angry and disgusted with himself.'
Hmm, maybe there might be some hope, however small, for him after all.

Well done--keep up the good work!

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F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) 'Hermione sat on Voldemorts ["Voldemorts" should be "Voldemort's"] side at the huge table filled with a feast made by the house elves, ...'

2) '... to talk to anyone rather than obeying Voldemorts ["Voldemorts" should be "Voldemort's"] rules.'

3) '

RE: chapter three

Hmm, I like he thinks about her after he leaves her, and how he has made his claim of her in front of his Death Eaters.

Great story so far, very well done--keep up the good work!

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F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) '

RE: chapter four

YaHoo, Voldemort has his yummy looks returned to him.
*::drools while grinning like a Cheshire cat::*
;~D

Oh man, the dirty, rotten, son-of-a-sea-hag put the Dark Mark on poor unconscious Hermione.

Well done--keep up the good work!

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F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) '

RE: chapter five

I like how he is seeing to her well-being by healing her up, allowing her to get cleaned up, giving her new clothes, loaning her some books, and giving her complements too. Not to bad for a dark lord, hey?
:D

Well done--keep up the good work!

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F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

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RE: chapter one

I like how you fleshed out the first chapter giving it more substance. It makes the reader want to find out what happens to Hermione next (well for me anyways--LOL).

Well done--keep up the good work!

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F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) 'Her determination to hurt as many death eaters as she could shone through here ["here" should be "her"] tearful eyes, ...'

2) 'Voldemorts ["Voldemorts" should be "Voldemort's"] eyes glowed even redder than they were as he saw Lucius grab the girls hair tight, ...'

3) '

RE: chapter two

Oh my, even though he (Voldemort) tortured Hermione a few times, he was still somewhat kind, in his own way, by allowing her the food, drink, and questionable quality blanket.

Well done--keep up the good work!

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F.Y.I.--errors found needing correction:

1) '

Wow! I really like this story. But you sure left it on one hell of a cliffy! I can't wait for your next update. Be careful of spellcheck though. Read through your work. Spell check will often change misspelled words into something else entirely. Etc: Their into there, or those into them, regardless of what the grammar might actually call for. It happens to the best writers. In order to avoid it, try reading the chapter out loud to yourself. You'll catch a lot more mistakes that way. When you read something silently your brain automatically changes the errors, but when you read them aloud the grammatical and spelling errors become more obvious as your mouth trips over them. I hope this helps.

wow! I LOVED his and mine, and i LOVE this one! but, I never read the One Shot, so im in suspense for the ending! I was wondering when she was going to get pregnwnt. I can't wait to see what happens!! update soon =]

Aww, poor Hermione, having an inner battle with herself in her little head. LOL

Update soon :o)