Bonds of Affection

The rest of the day flew by quickly. After dinner, Severus spent a few more hours reading, while Harry was napping on a couch in his study (or rather, a chair that Severus had transfigured into a couch). Severus placed a firecall to Albus, asking him to check the Knockturn Alley for information on Wailing Willow Bark.



Harry slept through the entire firecall, without even stirring. Severus looked at him nostalgically and shook his shoulder gently.



“Harry,” he said softly. “Your detention is over. You can get up and go to sleep. ”



Harry opened his eyes and smiled a bit. “Thanks,” he said quietly, standing up. For a few minutes they surveyed each other cautiously and silently, and then, with no small amount of trepidation and dread, Severus opened his arms. Harry nearly flew into his embrace, and pressed his face into his robe.



Severus could feel the young man\'s body tremble at the contact.



“I am sorry,” Harry said meekly.



“Don\'t be,” Severus told him. “It was to be expected, if you may recall.”



“I don\'t think it\'s the slave-bond,” Harry said tensely. “I don\'t feel it at all. I feel no different... and I think it\'s just me wanting you...” He paused for a bit. “But then, you said it would be like this, right? Imperceptible bond? Something that would make me believe that whatever I want, is coming from my own mind...?”



“Yes,” Severus confirmed quietly, still embracing him. “Tell me what you want,” he offered.



Harry sniffled a bit. “Honestly..? Don\'t taunt me. Don\'t make fun of me. I don\'t think I can handle it tonight... Just for one night... Just take me. Take me hard. Hurt me. Then hold me afterwards. That\'s all.”



Severus pressed his lips to the top of his head. “I can do that,” he told him softly. “Just let me know at any point if you change your mind.”



He lifted Harry in his arms, and was surprised at how light his body was. Harry offered no resistance, just threw his arms around his neck, and allowed Severus to carry him. Severus chose his own bedroom, and laid Harry on the bed.



“May I undress you?” Severus asked quietly.



“Please,” Harry whispered.



Severus reached for Harry\'s shirt, and unbuttoned it slowly, once again, exposing an incredibly lean body. Ribs were visible along each side, and Severus ran his hands over them gently, eliciting a mortified shudder from Harry\'s lips.



“Sorry,” Harry mumbled. “I can\'t be a very attractive sight... If you don\'t want to...”



Severus pressed a finger against his lips. “Harry, I promised you that I would not make fun of you tonight, did I not?”



Harry nodded silently.



“You\'ve got to make it easy for me then,” Severus said evenly. “And the suggestion that I am somehow doing you a favor by stripping you and fucking you is utterly laughable.”



Harry glanced at him questioningly.



“Trust me,” Severus said dryly. “For a Death Eater, who thrives on control, and power... to take advantage of an attractive, submissive sixteen year old.... it\'s hardly a sacrifice. So set your mind at ease.”



Harry smiled timidly, but nodded his head. Severus reached to unbuckle his belt, and open his trousers. Harry arched his body upwards, allowing himself to be disrobed completely. He lay silently on his back, while Severus surveyed his body – the nipples hardening in the cool air, the shockingly taut abdomen, the incredibly slender waist... and the utter lack of arousal.



Severus glanced at him questioningly. “It doesn\'t look like you want any of this tonight,” he said, but without accusation.



“I do,” Harry whispered. “Just not... look... I don\'t want you to play with me, or give me pleasure. I just want you to take me and hurt me.”



Severus leaned in to kiss him, and Harry returned the kiss passionately. Their tongues touched, and Severus bit down on Harry\'s lower lip, eliciting a brief, subdued wail, that transformed into a moan when Severus sucked on the bite, caressing it with his tongue.



“Turn on your belly,” Severus told him, pulling out of the kiss.



“No,” Harry pleaded. “Please... I .... I want to look at you.”



“It\'s easier if you are face down,” Severus said softly.



“I know,” Harry said quietly. “But that\'s not what I want... Look- you asked what I want.... I want to look at you. I don\'t want you to ... you know.. prepare me, or anything. I just want you to take me. That\'s all.”



“There will be damage,” Severus said reluctantly.



“I know,” Harry told him. “Just heal me afterwards.”



“Harry... will this be your first time?” Severus asked.



“Yes.”



“Why would you want your first time to be like this?”



“I don\'t know why,” Harry admitted with a pained smile. “I just do.”



Severus nodded curtly, and unbuttoned his own trousers, setting his erect member free. Harry\'s words, his request, and the sight of his nude, lean, trembling, and completely willing body, left Severus aroused beyond what he had imagined possible. He lifted Harry\'s hips gently, and placed a generous amount of lubricant on his opening, circling the tight, tense ring with his fingers. Harry sighed slightly under his touch, and only parted his legs wider. Without further deliberation, Severus pressed his erect member against the opening, and thrust into it, as slowly as he could, drawing an anguished gasp from Harry\'s lips upon being opened.



Severus issued a deep sigh of pleasure. Ecstasy, absolute, pure, blissful ecstasy, gripped his member, as he felt the tight muscles of Harry\'s channel constrict all around it. He started thrusting slowly and cautiously, feeling the young body shudder and tremble with every move. Harry\'s hands dug into the blanket underneath him, gathering handfuls of fabric in his fists, in an attempt to keep himself still. Harry\'s eyes behind his round glasses were half-shut, but he was still glancing up at Severus timidly, now and then, meeting his gaze.



For Severus, everything about the entire experience was completely surreal and dreamlike. His lover\'s willingness to embrace pain, to yield, to give himself up, and to meet his eyes while doing so – the dark desire and the wicked pleasure of it ensnared him. Severus felt his orgasm building, but he continued to move as carefully as he could, doing his best not to put his entire length inside his young, unprepared lover. But then, wincing against the obvious pain, Harry lifted his hips higher, and wrapped his legs around the man\'s waist, drawing the two of them close together. Suddenly, Severus found his entire length buried within Harry\'s tight opening. He climaxed violently, feeling as if the entire universe had raptured in an explosion of ecstasy and wonder.



Breathing heavily, Severus withdrew with caution, looking at Harry with concern. Harry\'s face held an expression of serene self-abandon.



When Severus finally regained his voice, he only asked: “Why?”



Harry glanced at him hesitantly. “I\'ve been watching you... thinking ... thought you might... like something like that. Did you?”



Severus had no words for this, so he just nodded. His heart was beating wildly and furiously.



Harry smiled blissfully and shut his eyes. Severus adjusted his clothing and stretched himself on the bed next to Harry. Sounding faint, and as if coming from a great distance, Harry\'s soft voice asked,



“Hold me.”



Severus did, wrapping his arms around the young man, drawing him into a secure embrace.



“Are you hurt?” Severus asked with dread and guilt.



“Yes, but it can wait,” Harry told him.



Severus sighed deeply as Harry buried his face against his shoulder.



“Safe,” Harry whispered quietly.



“What?” Severus asked, tensing up instantly.



“Feel so safe,” Harry whispered blissfully. “Now that you are holding me... don\'t think I ever felt so safe... in my entire life... It\'s like... like a memory of a dream...”



Severus found his eyes welling up with tears, but he fought them back. “I am sorry,” he said quietly. Familiar, heart-wrenching guilt gripped him, but he couldn\'t bring himself to release Harry from his embrace. He continued to hold him, stroking his hair gently.



“What are you sorry for?” Harry asked.



“Everything,” Severus said absently.



Harry shifted in his arms. “One day, you\'ll have to tell me what this is all about,” he said. “Will you?”



“Yes,” Severus said firmly. “Once the war is over.... I will tell you everything.”



“Okay,” Harry murmured agreeably. “I can wait.”



Severus found himself drifting off to sleep, with Harry\'s face buried in his hair. Harry inhaled deeply.



“You smell like October,” Harry said wistfully.



“Yes,” Severus agreed darkly, trying not to think – or feel anything. “Eternally.”