Repercussions

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one.
-Yellowcard


Hermione was lying facedown on her bed, squeezing her eyes shut tight while fighting the urge to claw her comforter to shreds. She wanted to use every ounce of her being for destruction at the moment; needing with all her heart to inflict even a small percentage of the pain she was feeling onto another. Something needed to be destroyed. Well, besides her life, as someone or something had already done that. Taken her very existence, flipped it over and shook it like last year’s holiday snow globe. Now she was just waiting to be dropped on the ground, cracked open, swept away and forgotten. The control she once had over her life had slipped away from her before she even had a chance to appreciate it.

When she had watched Malfoy collapse in the Great Hall, a part of her fell with him. For a moment all her concerns with her own situation disappeared, and all she saw was Draco. She didn’t notice that people were watching her chase after him, or what her friends would think about her sudden concern in their sworn enemy. To be honest, she hadn’t even cared.

But now he was going to be ok, so the large portion of her brain she had dedicated to worrying had to be once again shared by her own problems. The problems she had no control over.

Ripping her blanket she had control over. Blasting every single ornamental hanging in her lavishly decorated bedroom, she had control over. Adding to the teen pregnancy statistics however, was something she thought she had control over. Turns out, she was wrong. Hundreds of books claiming abstinence as the only foolproof way to avoid pregnancy were also, apparently wrong. Her parents, teachers, and friends were all wrong, wrong, wrong.

She sighed into the thick fabric below her. Her head was pounding from trying to make sense of everything that had happened to her. The same circular argument just kept playing over and over in her head. ‘You’re pregnant!’ she would tell herself. Then her logical side would chide in, ‘But you’re a virgin!’ She had no answer for that.

She was out of time to contemplate alone though, as a second being was manifesting itself by the foot of her bed. Hermione didn’t notice until she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped a foot and scrambled frantically for her wand. Through her own disheveled locks she saw a flash of red hair, and she collapsed back down on the bed. It was only Ginny.

“Alright Hermione, you need to tell me what’s going on. I didn’t ask any questions last night because you were so distraught, but after today… Running after Malfoy? I don’t understand what’s going on with you.”

“How did you get in here?” she demanded., brushing the hair out of her face and tucking it securely behind her ears.

“I followed you back from dinner. Obviously.” Hermione was still pouting, and Ginny sighed and rolled her eyes. “Ok I borrowed Harry’s invisibility cloak. That’s not important though. What is important is that you are hiding something big, and I’m not leaving here without answers, real answers.”

Hermione let out a strangled squeak that left her mouth hanging open. The night before she had snuck in to Ginny’s dorm to sleep because she was afraid of being seduced by the head boy once again. Ginny had been there for her, and even woke up early with her so they could leave for breakfast before anyone else did. No questions were asked, and Hermione couldn’t even begin to express her gratitude. Ginny would never understand how much it meant to Hermione that she was there for her. Maybe she owed the redhead some sort of explanation.

“Please Gin, I want to tell you, I really do,” Hermione pleaded with her. She wanted her friend to understand that it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t tell her what was wrong. Explaining being pregnant to someone else when she couldn’t even explain it to herself didn’t seem like a plausible start to the conversation.

“Then just tell me! I don’t care what it is ‘Mione, I’m here for you. Is it Ron? Is it Malfoy?”

Hermione heard the contempt in her friend’s voice, just from saying the name, Malfoy. And Ginny was usually the open minded one of the group. Her friends would never accept him, and so for now he would remain another dirty little secret, in her ever-growing pile.

“No, it’s definitely just me,” she sighed, trying to find a way to elucidate her strange behavior that didn’t involve the words ‘Malfoy,’ ‘Pregnancy,’ or ‘Sexy Slytherin bastard.’

“Then why can’t you tell me?”

“Because you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Try me.” The young Weasley looked deathly serious. It was more than a little intimidating. Hermione was still unsure of how much information she should divulge, so she chose her next words carefully. Firstly though, she grabbed her wand off her bed stand and performed the necessary silencing charms on her room.

“Have you ever heard of the Immaculate Conception?” she asked after she had finished. It was the first thing that came to mind, but she wasn’t exactly sure where it had come from. She remembered it was briefly mentioned in her old Muggle Studies textbook, and had been thinking of it on and off ever since that fateful trip into the Room of Requirement.

“No… should I have?” Ginny replied with slight confusion to her voice.

“I guess not, it’s a muggle religious thing….” She trailed off, weighing her options, which were comprised of ‘screwed’ and ‘super screwed.’ She could tell Ginny as much as she knew of the story, after which the redhead would obviously ask her why she was telling her such a thing. And she could then explain her unexplainable predicament. It would all be out in the open. Someone she loved and trusted would either be there for her to confide in, or else be the first one to ship her off to St. Mungo’s. Would Ginny really believe that there hadn’t been any man involved in the fertilization process in Hermione’s case? Or maybe she would just think it was all a bunch of hogwash to cover up some secret sex scandal.

She tried to put herself in Ginny’s shoes, and imagine that she was the one listening to a friend tell her she was pregnant and a virgin. Sensible Hermione would never believe it, so why should Ginny? Still, she knew the stubborn Weasley too well to think she was going to get away without some kind of explanation, and she really did want to tell her. It was hard going through something so serious by herself.

“It’s just that-“ ‘Grit your teeth and do it!’ “Well it’s just-“ ‘It’s now or never!’ “Your brother.” ‘Where the hell did that come from?’

“Ron? What did he do?!” Ginny hurriedly asked, sounding quite worried at this point. “Did he hurt you at all? He can’t seriously be holding his grudge against you still, he told me he was over that. I swore I’d hex him to the verge of womanhood if he kept up his charade against-”

“No it’s nothing like that, Gin,” Hermione quickly cut her off. She didn’t know where she was going with this new thread of lies, she just hoped by the time she was finished the web wouldn’t be too thick to escape from. Sighing and inwardly cringing, she let the spindle unravel.

“I think I still like him.”

There was silence. Hermione almost laughed out loud; and she had thought she couldn’t possibly be in a deeper hole than the one she was in! Hah! She was wrong, oh so very wrong. She was transforming from an only slightly venomous house spider to a Black Widow before her very eyes. Now she had brought Ron back into the situation, so she could sink her fangs deep into his already open wound and have another go. She was absolutely disgusted with herself, and yet, her mind was utterly blank at how to rectify her falsely spoken words. It was like she believed that the only way to cover up her unacceptable pregnancy was to lie to the people who loved her. Where had this new mindset come from? The one in which she only cared about her own wellbeing, and not about who got bowled over in the process of keeping up appearances.

“Are you serious!? Hermione, that’s great!” Ginny sounded absolutely ecstatic at the news. The head girl’s heart fell about sixteen stories and landed hard on the jagged rocks of the Chamber of Secrets as she gazed upon Ginny’s glee. She had covered up her pregnancy for another day, all at the low cost of her best friends’ trust. ‘Best friends?’ she thought. She didn’t deserve such a thing if she could so easily play with and contort them with her lies.

Now all she needed was Malfoy to pop out of the woodwork and parade around with a sign on his back to tell the world of their recent lusting of one another. What if her friends found out about her undeniable attraction to the head boy? Ron would be devastated, especially if she decided to continue on the pretense of wanting a relationship again. Not only had she sunk so low as to fabricate feelings that did not exist, she was doing so to one of her best friends. Deceiving him until the inevitable day when her lies broke the surface; either when she couldn’t bear to keep up the dishonesty, or when she popped out a baby that wasn’t his. Ron would be better off as lunchmeat for the newest batch of skrewts. She couldn’t do that to him.

“Wait, no. I don’t know how I feel. I- I think I just miss him is all. Yeah… I feel like I never see any of you guys anymore. How are you and Harry? How is your umm.. sex life?” ‘Muahaha… Hermione you are a psychological mastermind!’ If there was one thing that would make Ginny completely drop any thread of conversation, it was the chance to talk about sex, and her very able boyfriend. This was usually an opportunity Hermione was sure to never give her, so she wasn’t surprised to see the redhead’s eyes light up and she was positive she had escaped any further inquiries to her mysterious behavior. She sat back on her bed and got comfortable, as she was probably going to be there for a while.



***

Meanwhile, Draco was having no such luck turning the conversation in his favor. Pansy Parkinson just wasn’t backing down.

“There is nothing left to discuss. Just perform the spell already with the terms I agreed on and this whole mess will be over.”

“No. I absolutely refuse to agree to any of this unless I bind you to the same conditions. I will not be made to look like a fool if my so called girlfriend,” he inwardly cringed. The word didn’t hold quite as much appeal when it was associated with Pansy. “Is sleeping around behind my back.”

“Why Draco, I didn’t know you cared so much.”

“Don’t bet on that,” he spat back. He couldn’t care less who she spread her bony legs for, all he cared about was getting out of the deal as fast as he was getting himself into it. Pansy would never last without sex, and he certainly wasn’t going to give it to her. He just hoped her slut senses would take over before there was any irreparable damage between himself and Hermione.

“Fine, I’ll agree to that. Just don’t forget that I’ll know the second you don’t abide by the rules and you can bet your life that your father will fancy the idea of you and the mudblood just as much as I do,” she stated dryly with her pug nose in the air. Draco so wanted to blast it from her face, only he wasn’t in the mood to be doing her any favors.

He pulled his wand from his robes and breathed a deep sigh. He really hoped he knew what he was getting himself into, as the Binding spell he was about to perform was both difficult and dangerous. Hundreds of years ago, it was used by purebloods to coerce their children into arranged marriages. It was archaic and hardly ever used in the present day. Leave it to Pansy to think of it. Basically, each party was magically forced to comply with the terms of a contract. In this case Draco had to fake a relationship with Pansy in exchange for her silence about what she had seen.

If that was the end of the spell, it wouldn’t have been quite so bad. Unfortunately, there was another half. Both parties had to agree on a ‘contract breaking’ behavior. Pansy had insisted that Draco was to be completely horrible to Hermione, and Pansy wasn’t allowed to sleep with any other men while her and Draco were ‘together.’ The first one to lose and give in to their urges was stuck in the contract forever, while the other one was free to do as they wished. This meant that if Draco did or said anything that could be construed as ‘nice’ to Hermione, he would be stuck in a sham relationship with the woman he despised the most, forever. He could only pray that Pansy had a reputation for being a whore for a reason, and that she would give in before he did.

“Alright give me your hand so we can get this over with,” he spoke dejectedly. She reached over and clasped her hand in his. It was cold and clammy as the woman herself. Nothing like Hermione’s soft and delicate fingers, as they explored his glistening manhood with curiosity… If he could only have one more night with her before he was forced to play the part of the pureblooded prat again… There had to be a way. He had to remind himself that he was dealing with Pansy Parkinson, and although she was being a right pain in the rear today, he still had more brain cells than her in his little toe. ‘Think Draco, think!’

And like a gift from the Gods, and idea popped into his head. She’d have to be pretty thick to fall for it, but once again he had to remind himself that it was Pansy he was dealing with.

“Give me the binding rings.”

“What binding rings? Don’t those just appear when you cast the spell?”

‘Shit, shit, shit.’ She knew more than he gave her credit for. Not that he knew everything about the spell, but he thought he would at least know more than Pansy did. Did he dare just lie and see if he could convince her otherwise? Why not, it wasn’t like he had anything more to lose.

“No, I thought you knew that, everyone knows that.” He watched her face fall and had to hide the grin that was threatening to take over. If he acted quickly he was going to get his way.

“Just bring two identical rings here this weekend and we’ll perform the curse then.”

“I don’t need until the weekend, I’ll come by tomorrow after dinner.”

Barely twenty hours was hardly enough time to find a way out of all this, but it was better than nothing he supposed.

“Fine, tomorrow then. Leave.”

“Ever the gentleman,” she huffed, and headed towards the portrait. He made sure it had closed securely behind her before he slumped into the couch. He felt completely drained and defeated, and his head was pounding dully against his skull. He had one night of freedom before his words would contravene with his true feelings, and he would hurt the only one he ever cared for. Unless of course he could come up with a way out of it. He made a noise similar to a leaking balloon, as a feeling of hopelessness washed over him. It seemed like no matter what he did lately, luck was against him. He didn’t see what would make this time any different. All he had was tonight.

Yes…he still had tonight.

He stood from the couch with newfound energy. He didn’t even know where Hermione was, but he had to find her. It was pertinent that he make the most of his last hours not tied to Pansy Parkinson. He would search all night if he had to.

He was almost to the portrait when he heard the click of a door handle from behind him. He turned on the spot and saw the Weasley girl leaving Hermione’s room. Maybe his luck was changing.

“Night ‘Mione. I’ll be back tomorrow for further discussions on why you ran after Malfoy today.”

His heart caught in his throat. So she had followed him to the infirmary…. She did care.

He heard some muffled words coming from the bedroom that made the Weasel Wench laugh.

“Yeah right, like I would just drop something as serious as that just to talk about Harry’s love for doggie-style. Hell no, we’ll continue this tomorrow. Bye!”

The little fire-crotch stopped halfway down the spiral stairs when she realized the common room was occupied, to glare at Draco. Then continued on her way.

“Weasel,” he acknowledged her in the usual manner.

“Ferret,” she sneered back.

And that was all. She left without a backwards glance at him and he ran up the stairs two at a time. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath and nervously ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t know why he was so anxious all of a sudden. What was he afraid of, rejection?

With his blood pumping loudly against his eardrums, he shook off any foreboding emotions and stepped through the threshold. He was going to have this night, and his Hermione.

“I told you there’s nothing to talk about,” she said in her famous know-it-all air, thinking Ginny had returned. It was funny how something he used to despise her for, now only reminded him why he had fallen so hard for her. She was one of a kind, and wouldn’t change for anyone. Not that she needed to, she was absolutely perfect just the way she was. He had just never realized it before because he had only seen her through his father’s eyes and the Malfoy name. It wasn’t going to get in the way tonight though. Tonight, he was simply Draco.

“I think there’s plenty to talk about,” he whispered. She gasped and turned in his direction, her eyes bugging out.

“Mal-Dra-Mal- Err… You’re… you’re ok,” she stuttered, looking truly relieved. “I’m so sorry for yesterday morning. You were being so nice and I guess I was just afraid to let someone in, especially you of all people. And everything just happened at once and I thought I was completely losing my mind. But I’ve thought about it and I don’t want to lose you too… Whatever this is I want it…I- I need you.” She spoke the last part so softly that he barely heard her. He didn’t want to talk anymore… She was breaking his heart.

“Shh… It’s ok,” he replied softly, diminishing the space between them in two swift strides. He encircled her shoulders with his arms and held her tight against his chest. She didn’t withdraw, she collapsed into him, and he relished the feeling. They stayed like that until he felt her whole body trembling. He pulled back to look at her face. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and into her hands, and she was quickly brushing them away.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed through her tears. “I honestly don’t even know why I’m crying.”
She looked up at him with her deep almond shaped eyes and smiled apologetically. He couldn’t help but to smile back at her.

“You women and your waterworks,” he muttered, his smile curling into the trademark smirk he wore so well. She laughed softly and punched him playfully in the chest. He caught her hand and held it against his pounding heart, holding onto her gaze as long as she would allow.

Minutes passed, neither one daring to move. The intensity became too much to take and Hermione’s lids fell, shielding her from his penetrating silver eyes. She took a steadying breath, and he took the opportunity to pull her closer.

“You’re going to get it, Hermione,” he growled into her ear, nipping her neck before leaning back to stare into her eyes once more. She stared right back, mesmerized by the fire that had ignited behind his grey pools.

“Is that a promise?”she asked in a seductively mischievous low voice.

That was all it took for him to lose all self-control. His lips came crashing down on hers as he pushed her back onto the bed. There was no more need for words. They both knew what they wanted.

His tongue sought out the warm comforts of her mouth and she hurriedly obliged, parting her lips just enough to allow him a taste. He groaned into her as his tongue fought for control, gliding across hers before retreating, daring her to follow. He was strong but gentle, forceful but soft, and she was in love.

'She was in love.'

This realization frightened her and spurred her actions simultaneously, and she found she didn’t care that she could never have him in real life. That her friends would never accept him and his family would never accept her… She could have him tonight.

He traced a finger across her neck and down to the valley between her breasts. She gasped into his mouth and deepened their kiss, which he took as a sign to proceed. He flattened his palm to cup the sizeable swell, kneading it through the thick fabric of her robes. He could feel his now hard length straining for release, and he ground it against her thigh for some kind of relief. Clothes were such a hindrance… but nothing that he couldn’t take care of.

With much pawing and scrambling he finally had her down to her knickers. He drank in her creamy white skin, and was so transfixed by her almost nude form that he hadn’t even noticed what she had done to him. He was completely undressed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her wand rolling away from them on the bed stand and clanking to the floor…

“Cheater.”

“Sue me.” Oh she was seriously asking for it now….

He tore away the last remaining barrier and plunged his fingers into her wet core. She gasped and cried out at the intrusion. He pressed his thumb into her clit, and felt a shudder run through her body. He continued to press her nub and stroke her velvet slit until he had her moaning and convulsing beneath him.

“S-Stop… please… I- I want you inside of me when I… when I come….” She managed through her heavy breathing and the intense pleasure deriving from his skilled fingers. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to have her writhing and moaning his name, while he controlled every breath she took with the simple jerk of his hand.

“P-please.. I need….” she begged.

He decided to heed her command and regrettably removed his fingers from her warm depths. They still had an entire night of this after all, and he didn’t want it to end when it was really only just beginning. He nipped the soft skin of her neck, earning a soft hiss from his writhing beauty, before moving himself in position at her entrance and running his member up and down along the slick folds. He watched her bottom lip tremble ever so slightly and her eyes flutter closed, in preparation for what was to come. The nervous feelings that inhabited every girl on the brink of losing their virginity.

It was so surreal…. It felt like only yesterday that he was looking into that same face, telling her to relax so it wouldn’t hurt as much. He had kissed her and she had cried out and bit into his lip. She may not remember, but he would never forget. This time would be different.

“Look at me,” he commanded. She obeyed at once. Her swollen bottom lip was still trembling and he had to fight the urge not to take it into his mouth. He wanted to watch her, watching him as their bodies became one. Stare so deep into her soul that he would imprint this image in her mind, and she would never forget it- never forget him.

He pushed into her, stopping when he was met with resistance. She smiled up at him reassuringly, and he nodded down at her. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain. He was so in love….

“Look at me!”

Her eyes flew open in an instant, and it was as if time stood still. An eerie cold washed over her. The backdrop of her room swirled and was replaced by metal bars. She saw Draco looking down at her, but he was different somehow. His skin was sickly pale and his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and dirt. She wanted to brush it away but found her arms were stuck to her sides, fastened around the wrists. Panicking, she fought to pull free. Maniacal laughter rang in her ears, and red slit eyes bore down on her from every angle. She knew those eyes…

She blinked, and she was back in her bedroom on her soft bed. There was a sharp pain between her legs, but Draco was back, so it was ok. She pulled him to her tight, digging her nails into his back in her frantic attempt to make sure he couldn’t leave her. She held him until the pain started to ebb away and into a dull ache, and even that was overthrown by a feeling of fulfillment. The tingling sensations overshadowed the horrible vision, and soon she was back to the present, and the act of giving herself to the man she loved.

He was gently driving into her with shallow thrusts, a look of pained concentration on his face. The pace was agonizingly slow, and could easily cost him his sanity, but he couldn’t bear to hurt her any more. Hermione recognized the effort he was making and slid her hands down his back and over the smooth curve of his taut rear end. It was absolutely perfect, and she was completely lost to him. She thanked him by using all the strength she could muster to pull him deep inside of her in one rapid motion.

‘Oh Merlin help me…’

It was too much. Her eyes rolled back in her head as heated pleasure soared through her entire body in reverberating spurts. Her toes curled as she cried out the name of her lover over and over again… Her walls shuddering around his throbbing member only allowed for a few deep and hurried thrusts before he too was taken over the edge and into oblivion. His seed spilled inside her heated entrance and his shaking arms gave out from the force. He collapsed on top of her, completely spent.

When their bodies returned from the heavens and their pulses evened out, Draco managed to roll himself over and back to the bed. He placed his arm across the soft mound of her belly and held her close in a protective gesture. She snuggled into him, still in a daze from the aftershocks of her first orgasm. For the second time, he had been her first. The thought made a pleasant warmth arise from within and a satisfied smirk grace his features, but also reminded him of something.

“Hermione?”

“Mmm hmm,” she mumbled a sleepy response.

“Do me a favor.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me you’ll remember this.”

She opened her eyes and shot him a puzzled look. Her mouth moved to form words but he caught it with his own to stem the imminent flow of questioning. He put himself completely into the kiss, and found gratification in a whole new way. The pleasure was no longer derived from the feeling of tongues intertwining, but from the feeling of becoming one with another. He could have come right then and there all over again.

“I promise.. I could never forget you…” she whispered, breaking away from the kiss. Her eyes fluttered closed and she fell asleep almost instantly.

***

Draco lay awake late into the night. He didn’t want to miss a minute of their time together, incase it was their last for a long while. He hardly blinked, just watched the beauty beside him as she slept. He wanted to memorize every eyelash, every freckle, and the soft curve of her cheek and pout of her lips. How every so often she would sigh contentedly in her sleep and nuzzle her nose against him. He couldn’t leave her, leave this. He longed to go back in time and erase their painful past together. Every moment he had wasted when he could have spent it just like this… Why couldn’t he have seen it before it was too late?

A soft orange glow began to peek through the window and settled itself on Hermione’s sleeping form. The light seemed to illuminate her from within, and Draco found himself swallowing a rather lot as he looked down at her. He was going to lose his nerve if he stayed any longer. Gently, he pulled away from her. He could use the entire day to think of way out of the binding spell, and maybe he would be back with Hermione nestled in his arms by nightfall. It was this small ray of hope that got his limbs moving.

He leaned over to place a soft kiss on her forehead, and instantly went from not blinking at all, to blinking ten times as much as was normal. Blinking and swallowing hard. Fighting to move his feet in the direction of the door when the rest of him wanted nothing more than to stay exactly where he was.

“Don’t forget…” he choked out. He closed his eyes in an attempt to stem the flow of emotions, and blindly stumbled out the door.





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So did anyone expect that? Because I certainly didn’t! This story has taken on a life of its own and I think I’ve lost my control over it. I took most of this chapter I had written before and made it into part of chapter 21… I hope the changes were for the better and that I didn’t make Draco too sappy. I am always worried about that but I think at this point in the story he’s been through so much that he deserves a little ‘something something,’ lol.

Oh and the lyrics are more for a mood setter than a storyteller… if that makes sense.(?)

I’m not quite satisfied with what I have rewritten so far, so it will be a little bit until I post that stuff, I just figured I would give you guys this chappy since it was finished there was no reason to make you wait any longer ( I think it’s been like a month since the last real chapter.)

So anywhoo, all you wonderful readers you know the drill. Review Pllllleeeeeaaasssseeeee!!!!! Pretty pretty please!??